A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months. Our relationship is very complicated! But we love each other. Somedays are wonderful we get along great. Then somedays we fight for days and hate each other and wanna be done I get emotional and hes an ass. He says I nag to much but i don't see how I am. It's weird cause when we try to work out the relationship we fight more. But when we don't try we get along great. Friday was amazing he had went to the Dr with me to get birth control. After that we spent the whole day shopping. We went out to eat went to the hospital to see my friend who had a baby and then went to the movies. Then since Saturday we've been fighting. We have absolutely nothing in common. I've always heard people say if you have nothing in common then its not meant to be.. I can't think of anything that we have in common. Except for if we ever get married our initials will be the same. Is this relationship hopeless and we are just not compatible? Somedays we both feel like we are but when we fight we feel like we're not. We're both not good at relationships. He's the type that keeps what's bothering him to his self. Im the type if somethings bothering me then I say what's bothering me. I do have anger issues. And I'm a very emotional person. Does fighting all the time and having nothing in common mean we don't belong together? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2013): No one can say it's truly hopeless OP only you and he. It doesn't sound great though that you'd be resort to ignoring each other for days and staying pissed off.
I firmly believe that being able to argue well and resolve them quickly is a very important part of a relationship. I mean imagine what that would be like if you lived with each other, you have no escape then from an argument and ignoring each other for days in your own place really wouldn't work.
Plus that's kind of where having things in common is kind of important too, you really will end up with nothing to talk about if you don't have common ground on things.
But this could all just be part of the learning process for you both. Neither are great in relationships, you have anger issues which probably lead you to explode go cold, he doesn't express himself emotionally and prefers to bottle things up.
The optimist in me says there is scope for you to both grow. That with some work on yourselves and building some good coping mechanisms and behaviours when you disagree on things. Learning to be able to handle each others moods and working to make those moods less frequent is possible as long as you're not truly nasty to each other, calling each other names, making personal attacks etc.
It's not a good sign though OP, you sound incompatible to me in the brief bits that you've given. Look I'm just not a person who can go for days ignoring someone or hating them after an argument. I've had relationships like that and it was a nightmare. You're just always on edge, even in the good times you know another fight is just around the corner and you're going to be in a bad mood and anxious for a few days.
The biggest sign of incompatibility here though is the kind of things you argue about, that's something you must examine OP. If they're core values that neither will budge on then you may not be able get past that.
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (19 September 2013):
If you want to stay with him then it is your choice. No one should tell you to leave someone if he/she has not done you any wrong. These things can be a result of just being young adults in a relationship.
If you are completely frustrated by the relationship then you should talk to him and agree to end it.
You said things were fine on Friday and the events you all did seemed to be a lot about you. I haven't seen much guys "oh so eager" to go shopping, it was your friend with the baby and maybe it was a chick flick? Did you guys do anything after that he liked?
Was there any real reason why the fight started since Saturday? You havn't pointed out anything I could possibly help you with so it is hard to break down any reasons for the broken communication.
At the end of it all, the problems the two of you have could be worked on, but the easier and quicker solution might be to end things. Really, the choice is yours but I imagine most people will say to end it.
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