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Why is she so quiet and boring?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 September 2013) 11 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2013)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I recently met a beautiful girl that's 10 years younger. Physically, she's perfect but she is extremely quiet on dates. It's very awkward as we never engage in conversations. We can go 2-3 hours without saying much to eachother. I try to sometimes spark conversations but I don't get much in return. And when I ask questions, I get very short answers. Our times together are very akward. The only positive (besides her looks) is that sex is great. But that's not enough for me as I need more. A couple of friends called me crazy and that she would be the perfect girl for them (a quiet chick) but I need more chemistry.

She usually calls to ask if I wanna hang out and when we do, it's super boring. She just likes to sit home and do and talk about nothing.

And the few times when we got to do something, it was always my suggestions.

I'm about to call it off cause I need alot more from a girl unless I can find ways to change it.

Thoughts?

I'm about to call it off unless I can find ways to change this.

Thoughts?

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (17 September 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntSometimes it takes the right person to bring out a persons personality. No one is perfect, I think you need to reach out to her and she will eventually start to enjoy the company and social life. Do be too rash, you maybe losing something that is worth being patient for. So what if you have to take the initiative in suggesting places. Take her out and bring out the wild side in her. Careful you just might unleash the tiger in her.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 September 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou can't change her basic personality which sounds very quiet and not a good fit for you.

I'd end it but I'd make sure to tell her exactly why you are ending it... that you need more intellectual stimulation from a partner.. that good looks and being great in bed are the bonus NOT the part that keeps a man... that comes from intelligence, confidence, and personality... which based on what you are saying she is lacking in those areas.

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (16 September 2013):

SensitiveBloke agony auntExplain to her that you think you'd be better suited to someone who's more extrovert.

She may be perfect for someone, but she's not for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013):

I don't think she is for you. I like to talk, and my ex always complained that I talk all the time, even during a game. he ddidnt like to talk, and same, sex was always the best. He always complained that other people always tell him stories.

I think it's just her personality. Some people in general don't have this much to say

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (16 September 2013):

Well before you call it off you can always ask her why she is so quiet. She could be somewhat reserved or probably does not have much going on in her life.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (16 September 2013):

llifton agony aunti have no idea how you've even considered actually dating this woman for real. a f*ck buddy situation, maybe. but actually dating? oh my god, i'd be bored to tears. looks are far from everything. if you can't talk to someone, how on earth can there be a forseable a future with them?? clearly there isn't one. i'd call it off for sure. that's my two cents.

either that, or if she's cool with it, make the hook up arrangement where you two only see each other when you want sex. lol. just saying.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013):

I think you should change your gf.

Just kidding, I think you should understand your gf's personality. Maybe she's the quiet type of person.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013):

I think you should

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (16 September 2013):

chigirl agony auntCall it off, shes just not offering much other than looks and sex and it sounds boring indeed. Id call it off too if I was you. There isnt anything you can do to change her, you know. She is who she is. And the chemistry just isnt there..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013):

I have a friend who is just like this girl, she is really pretty, but absolutely boring, same sort of deal, no interests, no hobbies, nothing to talk about, and is terrible at carrying on a conversation. We are friends so this probably won't work for dating but I have found the solution is to only ever hang out with her in group situations, or when we are doing things that don't involve talking much, like seeing a movie, or something like that.

Your girl might just be shy like the other poster commented, and it is possible she may need some more time to really open up, or it is possible that you are really going to need to take control and always have lots of questions or things planned in order to carry the conversation.

Otherwise you two might just be very incompatible :( sorry!

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (16 September 2013):

If you really like her, then talking to her is an idea. I wouldn't recommend saying she's boring, but that sometimes her lack of input makes you think she's not that interested and maybe she'll get the idea.

Otherwise, she could be a little shy OR she really is just boring and doesn't have much to say because she's insecure of herself. This doesn't make her a bad person, but maybe you two don't have too much in common or she doesn't have much to say.

So I'd say try and talk about it with her before just cutting her off...if you really do like her.

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