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Is the problem that I masturbate too much? Should I tell her?

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Question - (8 September 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2013)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok so I've have had sex with about 4 girls in my life and I'm 26 year old mail. The problem is none of them have ever got me to come and I'm not exactly sure why I can't! I can get myself to come easily. I can't come for my current girlfriend and it bothers the both of us a lot. I'm addicted to masturbating so I do it a lot and not sure if I'm just used to getting myself off. Anyways I try to not do it as much but the urge to do it wins. I haven't told my girlfriend this so I'm wondering if I should explain that to her? That's like the only thing I've kept from her cause otherwise I'm opened to her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2013):

Stop masturbating tor several days so that when you are with your gf you will be extra sensitive down there and will be easier to orgasm with her.

If you cannot stop yourself from masturbating for even just a few days then you have a psychological problem - addiction - and you need to get professional help.

You should tell your gf since hiding personal information from your significant other is very harmful to a relationship as she will sooner or later find out the truth as it gets revealed bit by bit.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2013):

Perhaps you can start by finding something else to do. Seems you have way to much time on your hands if you are masturbating so much you cannot perform with an actual partner. You probably should also seek professional help for this. Masturbating is perfectly healthy, but it's no longer a healthy situation for you and the good thing is that you are aware of it. If you are watching porn as well, you likely have a bigger problem on your hands and you had better get a handle on it or you will not likely be able to maintain any relationships with real women if you keep going like this. Professional addiction counseling is your best bet right now.

It's probably best you be upfront and honest with your girlfriend. Honestly I am not sure what I would do with that information or if I could really deal with someone who couldn't have a healthy sex life because of masturbating and likely porn.

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (9 September 2013):

Whether or not you tell her, your goal should be to ridding yourself of this addiction. A first step would be to researching on how to cure addictions. Oh, and btw, masturbation to this extent will cause this problem because your dick is too used to your hand. There is almost no other explanation for it. Good luck.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (9 September 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntHave you ever talked to a doctor about this? It seems like that's a pretty big deal, and you even say you are addicted to masturbating.

I think you may be in that sad cohort of men with too much access to porn…. check it out. http://yourbrainonporn.com/adolescent-brain-meets-highspeed-internet-porn

Maybe your relationship will stand a chance if you stop hiding this from her? What if she was the one posting this question, how would you advise her?

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