How can I change my attitude?
Q. Hello Aunts I want to ask on how I can change my outlook and co dependency in life. I am very insecure - although on the outside I am put together - degreed - attractive- thin- middle class pay - my insecurities eat me up. I haven’t analyzed...
A. 24 February 2018: The good news is you've highlighted the problem and now you want to change it. That's an excellent start. One of the reasons I answered this question is because I feel like I can relate to you very deeply with this issue. The difference here however ... (read in full...)
I keep getting erections around this school friend!
Q. I attend an all boy high school. I am a junior and always consider myself straight. The problem is that I keep on getting an erection around one of my friends at school. I don't know why I get an erection around him when I am straight and I f...
A. 24 February 2018: Well it depends. What exactly are you trying to confirm by coming here and asking this question? The science or your sexuality?Unlike having random erections which tends to happen often as a teenager, you're having erections around a specific ... (read in full...)
Could this new interest of my husband mean he is bi-sexual?
Q. My husband has recently begun enjoying anal penetration with a vibrator. He suggested that we buy a double headed dildo to try together for the first time. So, I went to the local sex shop and bought one along with lube. I just can't get over h...
A. 22 February 2018: You will find that many men lie to their wives and significant others because they believe their honesty will only backfire on them. Usually, because many women tend to get worked up easily and overthink everything making a simple situation into a ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with my first cousin's baby
Q. I'm pregnant with my first cousin's baby and i'm going to birth the baby but i'm worried. Doctor says my baby is fine but i'm still worried. My cousin is scared and we both can't tell our families because they're really strict but now they know tha...
A. 9 February 2018: Something like this is bound to come out sooner or later. I'm assuming you feel embarrassed for the fact that you've been sleeping with your cousin and now the two of you will be found out. Many people have long and happy lives with their c... (read in full...)
Did I upset her?
Q. A girl and me met at a friends place and crashing at thiers, we were getting along and she decided to go to bed after they had been out all night. They had to wake up one of the children for her to sleep in a seperate room. There were 2 couches ...
A. 4 February 2018: Probably not.
Woman like to be careful around new men they've met, whether or not they like them. Even though a couch was available she just wanted her our space for the night, that way no hanky-panky from your end can take place as it seems sh... (read in full...)
LDR has been 8 years now he wants me to wait 4 more before marriage
Q. Hi, am a 25 year old arab lady and ive been in a long distance relationship for like 8 years now. I love this guy and we use to have it all clear that marriage is the goal. he recently said that marrige is not possible until 4 more years. he is ...
A. 28 January 2018: Waiting is really up to you. But you can't be too surprised if 2 years down the line this guy gives you a call saying that he found the woman of his dreams in Canada and would love if you came to the wedding.
Many men can be the biggest of jerks... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with my sister and I being nude around each other?
Q. I am 20 years old and my sister is 18 years old. Our parents are usually not home: my dad is a long distance 18 wheeler driver and since my sister graduated from high school last year, my mom often goes with our dad. Both my sister and I hat...
A. 28 January 2018: Well, from your letter it seems this nudity-club of yours only blossoms when your parents aren't around. Is it a secret of sorts or are they aware that this is what you two tend to do?
Is it wrong? No....
Would it be frowned upon by society? Yes... (read in full...)
How to deal with my two-faced work friend?
Q. I have a friend, she’s around 8 years younger than me (24). She has always been very nice to me, though she is quite an intense person generally. She’s incredible career obsessed and focused. She recently moved to my department at work. I noticed ...
A. 27 January 2018: As I always say, those willing to talk about others, are willing to talk about you.... (read in full...)
Contact him? Or jut move on?
Q. So, I was texting a guy that I met online for a few days. He asked for my number and we continued texting and then he asked to meet a few days after. We set to meet the next day, Friday at 5:30pm for coffee. Friday comes and I texted him asking him ...
A. 24 January 2018: When someone acts like they don't care....believe them.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to say I would leave my girlfriend if she became an addict? Is it right of her to say that I can't keep things that might "tempt" her around?
Q. I was having a conversation with my girlfriend the other day about her being upset because her brothers have started smoking weed again. I have no problem with weed. I've smoked it before myself, but apparently for them it starts them on harder ...
A. 24 January 2018: Well it comes off a bit cold... You pretty much said, should your girlfriend hypothetically come to face a hardtimes you'll immediately bail on her. I'm not saying you can't have boundaries and yes drug addicts DO make a choice but it comes off... (read in full...)
Strong mutual attraction with my married supervisor. Should I continue working with him?
Q. So I just completed my first year in a master's program at a pretty prestigious university and I'm held at very high standards due to the field I'm working in. For the next year I am required to complete several hundred hours of an internship before ...
A. 23 January 2018: Well, he is married, with kids. Are you sure you want to be seen as a homewrecker if the two of you get caught? Should this man decide that he wants to make a move on you I believe it would also speak loudly about his character. How do you even know ... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel humiliated?
Q. Why was this cAfe server laughing at me? Ordered a coffee from a mall cafe 3 weeks earlier.. I ordered a Coffee and a small cookie,( the same order I ordered 3 weeks ago) Same server. Whilst ordering she began laughing at me saying “...
A. 22 January 2018: It's possible she she didn't mean much by it, or it could be that she saw you as an easy target. Your letter doesn't exactly spell out the details of the event but what I do get from it is how responsive you are to the words and actions of others. ... (read in full...)
I just found out my brother is HIV positive and I'm extremely worried about him
Q. I am 35 and my brother is 31. I found out last week that his chronic diarrhea was misdiagnosed as tropical sprue, but was actually HIV. I am from the caribbean so my family is still there, but I live abroad in the States. I have been for more than ...
A. 20 January 2018: If you are fearful of being positive are you saying that being negative will give a better outcome? It won't.
It situations like this the only direction to look is up. But you must realise that this isn't about you, it's about your brother ... (read in full...)
Why send me a video of his girlfriend?
Q. My to be ex husband sent me his intimate vdo of him with his girlfriend. After we have been talking about divorce for these past years. We have been lived in 2 different countries though. So he sent me that last week, saying I should know and he ...
A. 16 January 2018: Well, I get why you're divorcing him.
As @Honeypie says it appears he was trying to hurt your feelings, there isn't much of another reason unless his aim was to hint at a threesome or some sexual act among the 3 of you. Or it could mean that he ... (read in full...)
I just want some to love ... who will love me back!
Q. Hello aunts What does someone do when they can’t find love? I want to give a background ( been in two relationships) long term( both same type of guys) negligent - over powering - verbally absuive - and non emphatic . Learned my lesson that I ne...
A. 14 January 2018: The energy I get from you letter tells me that you are relying on a man to come into your life and make you happy. The truth is there is no man on planet earth that can fulfil that wish. I'm assuming you think constantly about being single and ... (read in full...)
He communicates okay, apart from when I suggest we hang out!
Q. I have been talking to this guy for a total of two months, we met on a dating app and have gone on one date since then, I even met his grandparents lol. At the very beginning he was eager-- calling, texting, you name it frequently and now after ...
A. 13 January 2018: Maybe he thinks the sooner the two of you start seeing each other, the sooner you want to start having sex. Maybe he's nervous about having sex. Or it could be a case where he really does prefer friendship first before anything else. I know th... (read in full...)
Is this ok? It’s meant to be a nice gesture!
Q. Is this etiquette ok? Or. It acceptable? In 6 weeks I am going interstate to see a live theater show I enjoy It has a favorite stage actress of mine in it, in a smaller but important role. She’s not the star. I’m female and I admire he...
A. 13 January 2018: I understand in this day and age many people are becoming more afraid of "approaching" people in fear of offending them in some shape or form. You can enter a situation with the best of intentions and before you know it end up in a courtroom but... (read in full...)
His email to his brother hurts more than his affair
Q. My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...
A. 11 January 2018: "I love you..."
There...I said it....
Actions speak louder than words. You know this.
Does this sound like a man who cares about you?
Men DO NOT chase after women who put up with their crap. And it's very clear that you're rolling in it. H... (read in full...)
I need help breaking the happy news to my partner!
Q. Hiya everyone I’ve been with my partner for 4 years we have a 2 year old son together the problem is I have just found out I’m pregnant which I’m over the moon about but the problem is he doesn’t want any more children ever he has said I haven’t ...
A. 10 January 2018: Congratulations, you're bringing new life into this world.
Things like these happen all the time in marriages. Sure, you PLANNED on not having any more kids but life has a funny way of surprising us. He's your husband, and sure maybe he may not ... (read in full...)
My gf wants to learn salsa dance and I hate it. How to say no
Q. Hi. I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 2 years now. I'm planning to propose soon but there's is something thas is making me reevaluate my relationship. I took her once to a latin club where salsa music is played and she absolute...
A. 10 January 2018: Pardon my French but, you sound hella dramatic.
You do realise this is one of the many things that will occur in marriage right? Clearly something is wrong with me because I REFUSE to beat around the bush with people.
"When you complain, you ma... (read in full...)
Should my 65 year old mother try online dating?
Q. Hi , Thanks for always being helpful. My mom is 65 years old. My father passed away ten years ago. My mom feel very lonely. I do my best to spend time with her but still she feel lonely. I advice her to date someone. She is happy with my idea. Bu...
A. 10 January 2018: It's never too late for anything once you have life.
She's a grown woman and sometimes grown women want companionship and a comfortable male figure in her life.
The very fact that she didn't shun the idea of dating means she is quite open minde... (read in full...)
I found my best friends sex tape online
Q. This is unbelievable. There is a girl I’ve been friends with since we were two years old, and we are now 24. I recently found a video of her on a porn site (one of my friends who met her at a party sent me a link saying it looked like her). It 10...
A. 9 January 2018: Well, you wouldn't be much of a friend if you just left it would you?
If you tell her, and I'm assuming she doesn't want it there, she can now take steps to try and get it taken down or at least get a fighting chance too. If this proves futile a... (read in full...)
My best friend seems to want to end our friendship
Q. I've been friendly with my pal David for over 30 years. He drives a taxi for private hire for a living.I provide computer fixing services. A month ago, for the first time ever, he referred a customer of his to me who had a computer problem. The...
A. 8 January 2018: Friendship is a strong word, with a strong meaning. It's not something you just toss aside because of some ridiculous hiccup in your relationship especially one that has lasted more than 3 decades. To make things worse this is all due to some rand... (read in full...)
How do I get back on my feet? Can I turn my life around?
Q. how do I get back on my feet - can this be done? Three years ago I hung out with the in crowd and got myself in financial debt - I was making money and also spending money - long story short I got unexpectedly laid off and I had to move back home . ...
A. 2 January 2018: I wish I could pay off $30K in a year. Good job. According to your letter you've made mistakes, taken responsibility for them, set goals and now you're are taking steps to accomplish them. Seems like you're doing what you need to be doing. We're ... (read in full...)
Why am I upset that none of my dad's family congratulated me on my wedding?
Q. Hey, This is more a question on advise on how to control my feelings. I'm not particularly close to my dads family, always been excluded from family events (I.e wasn't even invited to my Dads wedding or were my two sisters from his second ...
A. 30 December 2017: Congrats on your nuptials. First things first your dad sounds like a pretty petty person. It's sucks that he sees the need to behave this way to his own children, daughters at that. Sure, he can experience hurt but not in this way. He's a man ... (read in full...)
I found men's boxers next to my hot tub!
Q. I have a hot tub in the back of the house. The yard is not fenced and there is open space behind where people often walk. Last night I found a pair of men's boxers that are not mine laying on the ground next to the tub. My wife of 19 years said ...
A. 22 December 2017: You should know you wife best. Watch her for a bit to try and detect if she might be lying.
But teenage kids, and a Hot tub?
....Sounds like a fun Friday night.
Un-Fenced yard, and nobody home?
....Sounds like a fun Friday night.
All ... (read in full...)
My wife wants an open relationship, I don't
Q. My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....
A. 17 December 2017: So let me get this straight...
Your wife...insists on an open relationship for her....but not for you...and demands you give it to her?
Your wife sounds like a very selfish person.
It seems she is after something you can't provide. The first s... (read in full...)
She's left me twice does she deserve my respect? Or do I just be her friend like nothing ever happened?
Q. Hello ladies, got a question for you, I was seeing this woman, she left me for another guy, OK, five years later we started to see each other again, she did it again, with a friend in a band, now he dumped her and she is trying to talk to me, am I ...
A. 10 December 2017: You sound like a very nice guy and that's why she probably keeps coming back to you because she knows you are nice and would never tell her off, or to go fly a kite. I think she has made it abundantly clear that she doesn't respect you. She ... (read in full...)
I was cheated on and now feel like every man will cheat on me
Q. Basically, one year ago I ended a 3 year relationship with a guy who I figured was cheating on me. I was devastated and I think it has affected me a lot in all my relationships with people. I doubt everything anyone says to me. I recently met a guy ...
A. 10 December 2017: The issue here is that you live your life with expectations. You EXPECT to find a guy who will sweep you off your feet, love you and never do anything to hurt you. That's what you would LIKE to happen but I'm sure by now you know that life doesn't ... (read in full...)
What can I do to deal with his attitude?
Q. Is my husband a narcissist? At the moment I am not working outside the home. The company I was working for went under. Even when I was working I still did 100 percent of the household chores and never once complained about doing it. If I go ou...
A. 10 December 2017: It's possible he could be a narcissist but the best way to know and protect yourself is to do the research. Search for "symptoms of narcissists", "narcissistic personality disorder" and "narcissistic husbands". If your husband matches around five to ... (read in full...)
Will he always cheat on me?
Q. Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and a month ago I caught him talking to other girls on snapchat and receiving nudes. I pulled him up on it and was going to leave him however gave him a second chance. A few days ago...
A. 10 December 2017: Truth me told you guys are really young. I don't think you guys are in a space to be considering marriage just yet. Thankfully, it seems he hasn't physically cheated on you, so I can assume he's trying but it probably will happen again. Not ... (read in full...)
A practical joke gone horribly wrong
Q. My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...
A. 10 December 2017: "...teach her a lesson.", "...THIRSTY", "...had no chance with him...", "...embarrass her", Plus the dick pics AT SCHOOL. This prank of yours sounds a smidge bit elaborate.
Are you sure you guys are Eve's friends?
First things first, you need ... (read in full...)
My husband is having an affair with a woman half his age and lies about it!
Q. Married 19 years my husband 54 is having an affair with a girl who is 27 he sits with her in different areas of the city and goes to her house when we go to church he knows that I know and continues to lie about everything what should I do?...
A. 8 December 2017: It sucks that so many men tend to lie and cheat especially after years of marriage. I'm a man and I personally find it to be selfish, childish and repulsive. Plus he knows that you know. First things first, gain support, tell a friend or seek t... (read in full...)
What do I do about this weird attraction for my teacher?
Q. Lately, I've been feeling a weird attraction towards my teacher, I know it sounds inappropriate, but I really like him! Some days, I can't stop thinking about him, but other days, I just feel uncomfortable around him, I know that most of you reading ...
A. 8 December 2017: Crushes on teachers are pretty common. They tend to exist in a space where a child is transitioning into an adult. Hormones are spewing, thoughts are wandering, curiosities peak. It's not something to get too worked up over, as @Denizen said ... (read in full...)
What is this feeling I have for him?
Q. i have a childhood friend who is four years older than I am and for the most part I've seen him as a big brother because my friend has always been by my side. But there is another part of me that gets jealous when I see my friend flirt with peo...
A. 6 December 2017: It could just be a boy crush.... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my wifes cousin.
Q. So my wife has a really attractive cousin who I only see on holidays and up until now she’s been in a relationship. Well she’s newly single and I noticed she seems to be interested in me as well and has given vibes that she’s feeling it too. I sat ...
A. 25 November 2017: I think you already know what consequences can arise from your choices. It wouldn't only be cheating but it would be with a family member. You realise even if nothing comes from it now, it could surface 10, 20, 30 years from now and destroy many ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my co-worker and I know not what to do
Q. I am crushing really badly on my co worker, I cannot stop thinking about her. She is not interested in me but my feelings won't go away and I fear its turning into an obsession. I do not know what I must do, I have tried to avoid her but this makes ...
A. 25 November 2017: Obsessed is a pretty strong word. Plus the possibility of her upsetting you due to a lack of attention is a very distinct observation. You mentioned that you "....fear its turning into an obsession". Maybe you should try talking with a friend our ... (read in full...)
I asked my co-worker out but she said she would think about it. How long before I ask her again?
Q. Ok so I asked a girl I work with out to have dinner with me. We have been working together for around 6--8 months. I know her pretty well, but not really well, but in the end I just thought "who cares, go for it". So I asked her and she said it ...
A. 22 November 2017: Give it some ample time, maybe until the end of the week. It is understandable however that you two do work together and dating does have the potential to lead to disaster down the road. But I also understand life is short and ceasing the moment.
... (read in full...)
How do I tell him his breath smells?
Q. I am seeing the most amazing person I have ever met, but I have a problem. His breath always smells and I have no idea how to bring this sensitive subject up without hurting his feelings. I did not notice it at first, but recently I have become ...
A. 19 November 2017: This has happened to me before with a friend of mine. On a number of days I would notice that she had bad breath but it seemed no one was letting her know, not even her boyfriend. I think it had to do with her choice of foods throughout the day. I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has hooked up with his best friend?
Q. I've been dating this guy, and we are crazy about each other. The only thing I'm a little uncomfortable with is the fact that his best friend is someone he's had strong feelings for and hooked up with in the past. plot twist: she is a lesbian. I ...
A. 17 November 2017: Yes, it is a bit awkward, however she has declared herself to be a lesbian. The hooking up aspect is in the past and you can't do anything about that, but what you really need to be concerned about are your boyfriend's feelings towards this girl.
... (read in full...)
Should I leave a little heart in his desk?
Q. Is it ok to leave a little heart in his desk? Just want to know some opinions. There's this guy at work that I like and I'm sure he likes me too. But I think it was my mistake by not showing interest in him and I think he has distanced a littl...
A. 17 November 2017: I'm not exactly sure what type of relationship you had before this distance, but maybe you can send him an email and ask him to join you later for lunch. The liitle heart aspect is sweet, but in this day and age, with all the dating rules and office ... (read in full...)
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