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What do I do about this weird attraction for my teacher?

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 December 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2018)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Lately, I've been feeling a weird attraction towards my teacher, I know it sounds inappropriate, but I really like him! Some days, I can't stop thinking about him, but other days, I just feel uncomfortable around him, I know that most of you reading this will probably be disgusted by me, but it's a feeling that I can't ignore anymore. I get jealous when he talks to other students, he always tries to start a conversation with me, always asks what book I'm reading (since I am in his homeroom class and I read), he's always asking if I want to audition for a solo (he is my choir director). I am confused by my feelings towards him, he always looks at me in the eye (ex: one day, he complimented our group singing, but he looked at ME when he said that it was beautiful!). I would really appreciate any advice that you have for me, and Thank You in advance.

View related questions: jealous, my teacher

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2018):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for responding, it's been almost a year now and he has moved away, so that has helped and I no longer like him like that, thanks again.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (13 December 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntNobody is going to be disgusted by this. Honestly honey you are growing up and becoming a woman and your hormones are flying all over the place. Believe me this happens a lot off girls at your age as they are transitioning in to an adult. So please do not think that there is something wrong with you or that you are different. The thing is most people don't talk about it because they are embarrassed about their feelings. I think the best thing for you to do is to accept your feelings. They will go away eventually. You need to accept you cannot act on them and that he is a role model for you. Yes he will compliment you, yes he will try and make you do better for yourself the reason he is showing an interest is because it his job to educate you and to build up your passions and interests. It is common for people at your age to get crushes because a teacher is showing them attention but it will get easier.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for your answers

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (8 December 2017):

As many times as this question is asked, I'm surprised you've never read our answers before.

Your hormones are churning at full-speed ahead. You're a prepubescent female; and you're just going through a normal phase. Of course you feel like it's something that only you are going through, but just about everyone has. It's not love, it's a schoolgirl-crush. Dates back to when they first started having teachers and students. Goes back to ancient times.

You have seen the news. Teacher runs away with student, parents plead she comes home, teacher get's caught and goes to jail. It's illegal! Any misstep on his part is inappropriate. It's not your fault. You're just a kid!

Teachers who flirt with young students get fired and/or go to jail. You're totally innocent. Best you keep your imagination under control. Don't exaggerate or verbalize your fantasies like they really happened! Don't let your hormones and imagination runaway with you, and let your reckless teenage-flirtations jeopardize some teacher's job!

If he makes one move out of line, I hope that teacher gets caught. If you won't tell, the other students will. Then you can watch your heart-throb get fired.

Maybe he's not looking at you as much as you're looking at him? Perhaps you're staring hard enough he has no choice but to notice you staring? My eyes usually lock with the eyes of someone is staring me down!

He complimented the group! You look people in the eye when you're talking to them. If a teacher thinks you're doing a good job, can't they tell you that you're doing a good job without the possibility of it being taken as a romantic gesture towards an under-aged student!

Sweetie, you have to be very careful! Thinking the wrong way when he doesn't mean what you think can be dangerous.

If he is checking you out; he's going to find himself in a heap of trouble! Big trouble! If he stares at you, he's staring at other girls too! Which means he's a perv, and it's just a matter of time before he gets caught! Some smart girl who knows it's inappropriate will tell someone! Hopefully!

There, does that help?

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A male reader, TylerSage United States +, writes (8 December 2017):

TylerSage agony auntCrushes on teachers are pretty common. They tend to exist in a space where a child is transitioning into an adult. Hormones are spewing, thoughts are wandering, curiosities peak. It's not something to get too worked up over, as @Denizen said student-teacher relationships don't work out, not to mention he will be labelled as a pedophile.

The main reason, i think you suddenly find him attractive is because he seems to show a lot of interest in you, plus he's probably admirable and social. I think you like the idea of him more than you actually like him, that's probably why you sometimes feel disgusted by him.

A crush is a crush, but based on what's on the lines for both of you should something spark are huge. Crush away, but don't aim to get physical.

All the best.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2017):

Denizen agony auntThis question has come up many times before. You can check the files for previous answers. It is a common occurrence. Just keep it as a fantasy because trying to make it real will only bring disaster. I mean, have you ever heard of a student teacher romance working out? He will get the sack and you will be expelled and disgraced when it comes to light - and it always does.

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