Should I leave a little heart in his desk?
Q. Is it ok to leave a little heart in his desk? Just want to know some opinions. There's this guy at work that I like and I'm sure he likes me too. But I think it was my mistake by not showing interest in him and I think he has distanced a littl...
A. 17 November 2017: I'm not exactly sure what type of relationship you had before this distance, but maybe you can send him an email and ask him to join you later for lunch. The liitle heart aspect is sweet, but in this day and age, with all the dating rules and office ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my parents' neglect?
Q. how Can I deal with moving back home to parents that only care about money and are constantly berating me - I come from a Eastern European culture where my parents marriage was arranged (very toxic relationship) my parents hate each other but stay ...
A. 15 November 2017: Once again I will stress to another person in distress the importance of being aware of the mental state of your surrounding family. Your parents don't sound like good people. It's unfortunate that both of them are bad apples and you had to be ... (read in full...)
My sister's boyfriend kissed me and now we've been making out behind her back!
Q. My sisters boyfriend kissed me what should I do?? I’m 15 years old and my sisters boyfriend is 19 they’ve been dating for about a year I’ve known him as long as she has known him. This all started about 3 months ago when he started grabbing...
A. 13 November 2017: Imagine the side effects this will have if your sister finds out? There's enough lying and backstabbing in the world don't let it tear apart blood relations. Plus, bear in mind this guys now has the two of you under his fingers. Imagine the stories ... (read in full...)
Walked into an awkward love triangle
Q. Hi, for the last 6 months or so I have liked one of the men (call him Tim) from my workplace. He is one of quite a few men and women that are in our lunch group and we all go out for drinks and things like that fairly often. He has been in a co...
A. 13 November 2017: Well you have to admit that was a bit of a shady move on Mary's part. Did you not just tell this girl that you liked this guy? True, Tim doesn't belong to either of you, not to mention he's your friend's ex but you made it clear to her that you like ... (read in full...)
Led into a fantasy and I like it
Q. The other night after having sex my girlfriend told me she wanted to do it again but that this time I could do whatever I wanted to her and she would let me. She said she would be my whore for the rest of the night. When we started up again she...
A. 13 November 2017: Well, provided you clearly explain what it is you would like to happen in your fantasy I don't think it should be a problem as long as you both keep it within the ranks of just a fantasy and not get carried away with it.
Make sure you get a privat... (read in full...)
How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?
Q. After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...
A. 11 November 2017: Women tend to cheat when there is an emotional disconnect in the relationship. Do you think there is anything that has changed since you two have been together? It also seems that you guys are pretty young. This could be a determining factor. Maybe ... (read in full...)
Why did my LDR boyfriend block me after I made a comment on one of his photos?
Q. ok this is short but I just can't understand it.. my bf blocked me from his facebook as soon I commented one of his recent pictures, (i said: how long is this pic?) and he blocked me after it. I am from the USA he is from Iraq, we have been together ...
A. 11 November 2017: Could be the culture shock. May people from the middle east aren't fans of Americans so maybe to avoid criticism he blocked you. It was wrong, mind you, but that could be the reason. It's like a undercover gay man having his flamboyant boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Can you help me find the words to express how I feel about him?
Q. hi there im 35, ive been speaking to a man for a while now, i find it very hard expressing myself, i want to tell him the strong feelings i have for him, but i get embarrassed, would someone word it for me please xx...
A. 9 November 2017: I personality don't think anyone here can word-out your feelings dear. You're not on Wheel-of-Fortune, you're experiencing strong emotional feelings for another person. Only you can tell what you're feeling. What you need to examine now is why you ... (read in full...)
How to deal with my interfering and judgmental cousin?
Q. Hi, my cousin is so judgemental and always interferes, even though we never chat and haven't done so in many years. If i have an issue with somebody else and mind you, a legitimate issue, she sees it fit to interfere and stick up for anybo...
A. 9 November 2017: Don't get so worked up over this. It's gonna be you against the family. Kill em with kindness. Don't waste your energy on starting altercations, rise above it. When they aim low, you aim high. Who knows what this Uncle of yours is up to on his PC. ... (read in full...)
I am male and I have no sensational feeling during sex
Q. Hi, I have a very big problem - I do not feel anything during intercourse! Please help me! I am 35 years old and i have had this problem since my sexual debut. And the problem is really simple, yet very complex - I do not feel anything! When I...
A. 9 November 2017: While I don't think you're asexual, do you think it could be possible you're gay? I say this because you responding this way could be a subliminal message. Some men try sex with men accidentally and end up loving it. Even to the point where they ... (read in full...)
There is no intimacy in our marriage .... is my wife having an affair?
Q. I have been married for 15 years. Beginning of marriage the sex life was great. Then all of sudden I had to wear a condom didn't want me to orgasm inside her. The kissing stopped was only just a peck on the cheek or lips. Once a month she has dinner ...
A. 9 November 2017: I'm no love therapist but I'm winging it when I say it may be possible that your wife wants you to be more aggressive with her. Turn on that macho, bravado charm. Tell her what to do, grab her around the waist and plant and big one on her, spice up ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to want my boyfriend to stop looking at porn online?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, I'm only 21 and have been in one relationship which I'm currently in so I don't have much knowledge. My boyfriend's penis looks nothing like the ones I saw in porn.It isn't straight...it kinda twists a bit. Plainly put, it ...
A. 7 November 2017: Penises come in all shapes and sizes. You have to realise that porn is a media industry. Just like in the soaps, the producers gather the most aesthetically please people...according to society and cast them as the stars. It's unlikely you'll see ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my boyfriend in the hope that he matures at some point, or do I let him go and move on?
Q. Should I stay with my boyfriend in the hope that he matures at some point, or do I let him go and move on? We're both at university (we're both 21) and have been going out for 2 years. We've been having problems lately because he wasn't spending ...
A. 7 November 2017: You must realise that you guys were like sixteen, five years ago. You're still incredibly young. While I can see you're more mature and focusing on developing a future with a spouse, he's mostly likely going to be more about himself, but not ... (read in full...)
What is so "personal" that he can't tell his long term girlfriend?
Q. Hi! I've been seeing my bf for about 15 months and things have been mostly good. We have a very loving, affectionate relationship where we share most things and get on well. Except he has this female best friend that he's close to and the thing is I ...
A. 7 November 2017: Would you feel this way if your boyfriend's best friend was a man? Judging by the key-points you have highlighted you may only want to know this personal secret for the wrong reasons. It seems you're suspicious that this girl is planting moves on ... (read in full...)
I am male and I have no sensational feeling during sex
Q. Hi, I have a very big problem - I do not feel anything during intercourse! Please help me! I am 35 years old and i have had this problem since my sexual debut. And the problem is really simple, yet very complex - I do not feel anything! When I...
A. 7 November 2017: I wish you were a bit more specific in describing what "feeling nothing" means. I gather that it's either no emotional connection with your partner, no sexual drive when with your partner or no sensual/orgasmic sensations while having sex. It seems ... (read in full...)
My husband is threatening divorce ... please help
Q. I messed up .... again. Long story short: I have OCD and anxiety in my relationship. I am controlling and emotionally abusive (though not to the full extent that articles write about). I have hurt my husband so much that i dont know if he can forg...
A. 7 November 2017: I'm glad to see you are able to admit that you have committed wrongs in your marriage. I think that's the first step to improvement. Self-awareness and action are pretty much all you need. A therapist can be helpful but seeing that YOU know you have ... (read in full...)
My husband is flat out lying to me!
Q. Is it ok to snoop if i am being lied to? My husband keeps telling me that his 'penis is broken'. We havent had sex in two months or so. Hes massively stressed out. The thing is that in the last two weeks i have given him two blowjobs and we have act...
A. 5 November 2017: If he's watching too much porn there could be a problem. Porn can be just as addictive as drugs because it releases a hormone called dopamine which is that feeling you get when you win a hard level on a game or get a messenger text on your phone. It ... (read in full...)
I'm 30 years old and my mother tries to rule my life!
Q. I’m thirty years old and I don’t know how to deal with my mother anymore. She has been a fantastic mom to me, offering emotional support, taking care of me, making sure I’m okay, but lately I can’t stop fighting with her. And it’s always over...
A. 5 November 2017: Mental illness is not referenced as often as I think it should be in society. A lot of the times when we meet or know someone who just seems very problematic or tedious it could be because of a personality disorder and as a result, nothing you say ... (read in full...)
He had affairs while buying my IVF
Q. My ex and I planned a pregnancy. I was having fertility issues and so we decided to proceed with an IVF. It was his idea and he has even funded the entire procedure. I am about to get pregnant and I found out that he has had numerous affairs ...
A. 4 November 2017: Reckless is right. Disrespectful too. I'm sure you can already tell that being with this man will lead to lifelong cheating. He doesn't really seem to care very about you very much, nor did he seem to deny using you.
Countless women have raised c... (read in full...)
Can our love be revived?
Q. I'm a beautiful women and I (have) a sexless marriage. Supposedly my husband isn't cheating. What else can this be. There is no connection anymore. I want him to show me he wants me. We love each other, but our marriage doesn't feel strong. N...
A. 4 November 2017: I believe when marriage become listless, it stems from each partner not being open with one another. Communication with each other ceases and instead breeds contempt and bitterness. I noticed your letter highlights all the things he isn't doing. I ... (read in full...)
Friend sponges off everyone. How do I deal with her?
Q. Hi, I have a friend who's used to living off other people. She's funny, smart and she still takes money from her parents (she's 39 years old!), "borrows" money and promises to pay back at some point. Goes out for drinks, meals and almost never...
A. 4 November 2017: When a friend emits a pet peeve it can be pretty stressful. I had a similar friend experience. Our friendship ended almost 2 years ago. Mind you, it happened by accident. But I saw an opportunity and took it. I didn't like the idea that I was being ... (read in full...)
Relationship started out well but now he's asking for more and more money. Is he using me?
Q. To cut my story short, I met a turkish guy at a resort during my holiday 2 months ago.We are both muslims and have similar cultures as I am from the middle east, so we seem to understand each other's views and lifestyles. Everything was going smooth ...
A. 4 November 2017: Just the fact that you posted this question here proves you think something is fishy. This man doesn't seem very trustworthy. He only met you 8 weeks ago and has already asked you for money more than twice. It sounds out of character for a man ... (read in full...)
I need ideas for a 60th birthday toast!
Q. Hi, I'm going to be giving a a short splech on the occasion of my relatives 60th birthday I just want to make it very short and sweet!Could y'all give me ideas?or a beautiful phrase with which I can start the speech?...
A. 3 November 2017: Just speak from the heart. What feeling come naturally to you about this person? What memories do you have about this person? How has this relative contributed to your life? Are you happy them lived to see 60? Do they give you good advice? Do they ... (read in full...)
How do I tell guys I'm autisttic?
Q. i will jump straight in. I am autistic which is great, use to as a child find it a curse but as an adult truly get to see the beauty of the world. what i mean by this is i could be walking in the forest and i could stop and hug a tree or even lic...
A. 3 November 2017: I don't think telling people on the very fist date is the best approach. Give the person sometime to get to know you first, even just for a bit. I'm sure you're much more than your autism. Then maybe on the 2nd or 3rd date you can bring it up. That ... (read in full...)
How do men deal with the hair 'down there'?
Q. This question is really difficult to ask people in real life so here goes. Ladies, what's your opinion on pubic hair on your men? Shaved, trimmed or untouched? And men, if you're shaving down there, how do you handle the testicular area? ...
A. 3 November 2017: It's really down to what you like, but seeing that that it's something a sex partner might see and people can be judgemental you can trim it a little. Think of it as a beard on your face, you trim it on occasion just to make it look more ... (read in full...)
I have a great life but no hobbies or interests that I'm truly passionate about. How do I find my purpose?
Q. So this isnt a relationship questions this is just about me and my purpose... So a little about me i’m 29 been with my partner 5 years live together, can see a futute together which consists of marriage and children, all is good. I am really clos...
A. 3 November 2017: Wow. It appears we have something in common. I too feel listless and lacking in passion for a particular hobby. Nothing seems to really stick. A number of people suggested giving back. So here I am, on DearCupid.org trying to give back and help ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should ask a colleague out
Q. I'm 26 and have been single for around 7--8 months now since splitting with my gf of 3 yrs. I found that break up hard and I'm unsure if I want a new relationship. However I've only been with 2 girls in my whole life and I'm desperate to "get out ...
A. 2 November 2017: Life is short, nothing is permanent. Thinking the two of you will be doomed from the get-go is just feeding yourself with anxiety. Work on your confidence a bit, maybe you can listen/watch some motivational videos on YouTube to help. Make sure you ... (read in full...)
He duped me! How do I learn the red flags and move on?
Q. I had seen this guy in a walking group over the past 5 months. We were friends a few years ago but lost touch. Over the months he has dropped hints that he likes me, has cuddled and held me for long periods of time and kissed my cheek in a loving ...
A. 2 November 2017: This sounds like a guy with intimacy issues. Guys like this may start by showing interest but once that interest is reciprocated they freak and run for the hills. They may even say things that purposely hurt your feeling to ensure a big gap is made ... (read in full...)
Why is my LDR boyfriend testing me this way?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years now and for the last two years of our relationship, he had to move for his job. He’s about 13 hours away from me now. He and I see each other as much as we can, despite the distance. The ...
A. 2 November 2017: That sounds very manipulative. Does he display any narcissistic tendencies? Especially the part about "Not meeting his expectations" The heck? Narcissists often do things like this knowing very well that it will play on the emotions of the victim ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my dad's new wife he's cheating on her?
Q. my dad is a horrible person and a big cheater. i recently caught my dad out cheating on his new wife. No mistake about it-it was a sad site. my dad has moved on and he has his own family--and his new wife has tried hard to be nice to us--even...
A. 1 November 2017: There's one thing I've learned about people in this life and it's that not everyone wants to hear the truth. I'm not saying that she doesn't deserve to know I'm just saying that telling her about the affair may not go down the way you were ... (read in full...)
Should we end our friendship? We will never have our parent's blessing
Q. I like her and she likes me. We talk everyday. She checks all the boxes for wife material in my book. We are currently only friends and whenever we slip into flirting one of us pull back. We're of different religions. We will never have our ...
A. 1 November 2017: I don't think it really matters what your parents or anyone thinks. It matters what you think. A piece of you doesn't want to end what you two have, isn't that why you posted this question? To get reassurance that you're making the biggest mistake ... (read in full...)
Concerned about my mental state
Q. I have a big problem. My personality has changed a lot since I was a boy. I used to be a humble kid. But now when I get home after any kind of social interaction, and think about how I behaved and what people's reactions to were to things I said n ...
A. 1 November 2017: I'm not a doctor but the fact you are worried you might be a sociopath, for the most part, indicates you probably are are not a sociopath. A person with such a personality wouldn't care. They would only acknowledge that they're different and move on ... (read in full...)
Why would he say "I love you" if he has no intention of changing his life for you?
Q. If a married man you've been involved in a long term relationship with tells you he loves you, could he really mean it, even if he will never leave his wife to be with you? It's a terrible predicament to be in when you realize you now love this ma...
A. 29 October 2017: That's how he ensures to keep you wrapped around his finger. He's a cheater. He wants both you and his wife.His wife is already in the bag, but by saying "I love you", which are clearly just words to him makes you feel more secure in the ... (read in full...)
I have nowhere else to live my mother and stepfather have offered me to live with them but my stepfather is a nudist and walks around naked most of the time!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 44 year old single woman (and a virgin) and have nowhere to live because of various events in the past 2 years. However I am welcome to live with my mother and step dad, who are generous and considerate generally speaking. ...
A. 29 October 2017: Seeing that you have nowhere else to live you should give it a try. Your imagination may actually be sabotaging your chances of being in a loving environment. It might not turn out to be as bad as you think. Is it possible you are attracted to your ... (read in full...)
How do I explain to my fiance that I want to go out dressed up as a female without hurting her feelings?
Q. I'm engaged to a wonderful girl. I've always considered myself a female in my heart. I have been crossdressing secretly in the past but I can't anymore. I really want to go out and be feminine once in a while. I explained my fiancee my situation. I ...
A. 28 October 2017: When you two got together you clearly explained the situation to her. I don't believe for a second she understands because if she really did she would allow you to dress up as you please. I'm sure you can see how big of a problem this will be later ... (read in full...)
I have unresolved feelings about my wife cheating
Q. Like most guys I know, its not the easiest thing to talk about feelings. I have been struggling with this for a while and has grown more and more to bother me. Hate to divulge that my wife cheated about a year ago but its part of the thorn. S...
A. 28 October 2017: Well, your life partner who you've given all of your love and trust has given you a reason to doubt her. Betrayal stabs like a blade. You're hurt and humiliated. Things like that don't fly out of head overnight. However, holding on to the hurt and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says his phone was hacked. I don't believe him.
Q. I recently found pictures of my significant other in his phone along with seeing him on website called backpage. I viewed his history and found him looking up girls in different areas. He denied taking those pictures in my bed from not even less ...
A. 28 October 2017: I'm just upset that he used such a horrible excuse. Please don't fall for that. I think we both know he's lying. Men like to get what they want, when they want it, sadly a lot of us don't care about how it will affect their significant others. ... (read in full...)
I would like to try sex with him - secretly
Q. My question is I met this guy, a friend of a friend, am a virgin, I would like to have sex with him. Should I ask my friend to ask him, or should I ask him? I would only like fwb. I have fantasy's. am not gay. I wouldn't want this to get out....
A. 27 October 2017: Why not? Go for it. Provided you two are both single. Don't think you should let too many people in on this little request however. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Why do people always tend to ignore me?
Q. People have always tended to ignore me socially, at work, in groups, meetung new people as I’m quieter, it’s made me want to give up? On meeting new friends and chatting to people Im always ignored or excluded, Im quieter but not snobby o...
A. 27 October 2017: You my friend are an introvert, OWN IT!! I can very much relate to you but I'm pretty sure the main difference between the two of us is that I don't "look" like I'm searching for friends or social interaction so a result, people are always gravi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is being too needy, is it unhealthy?
Q. How often is too often to see your significant other? In the last few relationships I’ve felt burned out too quickly from them and I think it’s a problem I’m having with myself. I’m dating a girl now and have been for the last year. She does e...
A. 27 October 2017: Alas, the works of a woman. Explaining this to her can be very tricky and very risky. Women often tend to lead with emotion rather than logic. She may have a hard time understanding that sometimes you just want to be alone, instead she migh... (read in full...)
Where can I find someone who wants to date me?
Q. I am 22 and never been on a date because no man has ever asked me out and I don't know where to go to find men who want to date me. I don't frequent bars or clubs. I have tried doing some volunteering activities and in college I previously joine...
A. 27 October 2017: It's 2017, The world wants trans-gendered bathrooms, equal pay for both genders and cars that work on electricity. Times are changing, sitting down and looking pretty won't work as much anymore. Everyone is getting more skilled and as result ... (read in full...)
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