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... Send *ommy7 a private message | | | *ommy7's profile:I am an educated guy with a doctorate degree. When I worked I solved problems and gave advice. I tend to be specific and direct. I like to argue issues and don't take criticsm personal. I live off investments I've made over the years. I love reading books and surfing the internet. I travel a little every now and then. I rarely plan things in advance.
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He's seeing a girl who lives over in South Africa... But I don't want him to go because I like him!
Q. i am in love with a guy who is in a realtionship with a girl in south africa! the thing is we have been seeing each other for the past few months and now he is going to see her in october and i dont want him to go! he says he has deep feelings for ...
A. 26 September 2007: You mean he WON'T answer your questions. Good luck with the player. Let me know what he will say when he returns.... (read in full...)
My bf is pushing his child on me and my family. How can I talk to him about this?
Q. my boyfriend of three months is pushing his child on to me and my family. im 24yrs old if i wanted a kid i would have one. i cant talk to him about this because he ALWAYS takes it the wrong way. i do care about him alot... how do i stop this with ...
A. 26 September 2007: I think the comments changed your outlook and allowed you to see a reasonable compromise.... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to shopping! It's so hard not to spend money - what can I do?
Q. It's really hard for me to save money - *really* hard. All I want to do is buy things! And they're not even things for me - I love to buy *other* people things, just because I like to make people happy. I know that I don't *have* to buy people ...
A. 24 September 2007: Don't carry credit cards around except 1 for an emergency. Don't carry excess cash. Don't go shopping without a list of necessary purchases. Then don't buy anything not on the list without first going home and thinking it over as to whether it is ... (read in full...)
My bf is pushing his child on me and my family. How can I talk to him about this?
Q. my boyfriend of three months is pushing his child on to me and my family. im 24yrs old if i wanted a kid i would have one. i cant talk to him about this because he ALWAYS takes it the wrong way. i do care about him alot... how do i stop this with ...
A. 24 September 2007: Dump him. Obviously he wants to see you and his kid as a family. You shouldn't try to separate him from his kid. Imagine how you'd feel if you were the kid.... (read in full...)
Now my daughter will not talk to me, what should I do?
Q. My wife and I are having trouble and my wife allowed my 20 year old daughter to become aware of the problems in her version - My daughter now won't talk to me and I haven't seen her in 5 months and prior to this incident, we had a good relationship ...
A. 24 September 2007: You didn't say what the problem with your wife was. Obviously you daughter feels strongly about it. Assuming you were a really bad guy, I suggest you make small attempts to contact your daughter periodically. Surely there was a fatherly love ... (read in full...)
The guy I lost it to broke up with his girlfriend. What should I do?
Q. Theyy broke upp!! the guyy I lost it to and his girl friend broke up Im soo happy!! what should I do!?? will you please read ALL of myy questions then answer this one!? ...
A. 24 September 2007: Stay away from the boys for awhile. Your thinking shows you need a little more maturity.... (read in full...)
He went off with my cousin but says we might have a futue. Whats he doing?
Q. I was with my boyfriend for a year up until he broke up with me more than a month ago. Before we broke up we were very much in love and were even making plans to get married one day. However he gave me some silly excuse about his mother ...
A. 24 September 2007: He is a game player. He is playing both you and your cousin. I suggest you look for a new boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Will crushing on my boyfriends cousin going to pass soon???
Q. He's still on my mind! My bf's cousin is on my mind ever since we keep seein each other at my BF's game. friday was mostly what i fell for him. when he actually treated me the way i wanted to be treated other than being treated like a princess by my ...
A. 24 September 2007: Sounds like you gave him mixed signals. He dumped his girlfriend for you. You are either naieve or mean. Either that or he's a fool.... (read in full...)
Should I play hard to get with him or stay as I am?
Q. I met this guy online a 5 months ago, before that we had sent pics back and fourth, we talked about everything..he is in the middle of a divorce right now..He has never said he loved me but he did say he was falling for me..I fell in love way to ...
A. 24 September 2007: He is in it for the oral sex. He sees no need to make a commmitment. Play hard to get and I bet he will give up on you.... (read in full...)
He's seeing a girl who lives over in South Africa... But I don't want him to go because I like him!
Q. i am in love with a guy who is in a realtionship with a girl in south africa! the thing is we have been seeing each other for the past few months and now he is going to see her in october and i dont want him to go! he says he has deep feelings for ...
A. 24 September 2007: If he doesn't have a bigger reason for going to South Africa than to see her, you should give him an ultimatum. If he goes, dump him.... (read in full...)
Me, my boyfriend and my brother - Is there something wrong or am I looking into this too much?
Q. I am having a problem with my boyfried we have been together for a year and a half he is dad to my son who is 4 and we have everything a relationship probably most desires. Stability. Any how lately he has neglected me emotionally. I feel like he ...
A. 24 September 2007: He is just using you for sex. He isn't into you as a person.... (read in full...)
Since my last question, things have gotten worse! Please help me!
Q. The situation has just got a whole lot worse!! Hi some of you may rememeber me i wrote this question about 2 days ago, heres the link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-not-very-good-at-what-to-say.html anyway read that for more info, basically...
A. 24 September 2007: Tell her the truth and why you were waiting.... (read in full...)
I know I'm terrible at trusting men, but this time do I have a reason to be concerned?
Q. I have a terrible time trusting men. Even when I meet a man that seems good on the surface, I'm always looking for the hidden strings. My current b/f has done a few things that were "shady" in my opinion -- he was flirting with a friend of mine ...
A. 24 September 2007: You're not paranoid, you are just a poor judge of character when it comes to selecting men. I think you need to look at yourself and what you really want.... (read in full...)
How do I ask the friend out I have known for 3 months?
Q. I have a friend that i've known for about 3 months now and i really like her and want to ask her out. my problem is that i can't seem to get any alone time with her because our entire family met in greece so whenever we do see each other were never ...
A. 24 September 2007: Even if you're not alone with her you should be able to ask questions that would clue you in as to her friends, what she does for fun, places she likes to go, and whether her parents let her go out. Your first question isn't to ask her out.... (read in full...)
He's older, messes around with me and looks out for me. Should I date him?
Q. Hi, i really need some advice. i really like this guy i work with. hes much older than me (15 years), and i need help finding out if he likes me too. he always messes around with me ang plays little games. He looks out for me too. what do you think?...
A. 22 September 2007: Continue to play his games. Sooner rather than later he will ask you out.... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about him not being interested in me anymore?
Q. I have been with my bf for one year now and he has been wonderful. Lately he has been under alot of stress with work and hasnt been interested in being with me. Should I worry about him not being intertested in me anymore? Is it okay to ask the guy ...
A. 21 September 2007: Stress can cause depression and ED. Ask him to see a doctor to be checked out.... (read in full...)
Should I take my sons dad back after 2 yrs split even though I have become independant?
Q. Hello All, I have a problem.... When I was pregnant with my son 2 years ago, I was going through a lot of stress, and the emotional stress of having a baby, so under this pressure, and to me my son's father ability to not have ambition.... I b...
A. 21 September 2007: You don't need another child to take care of.... (read in full...)
Do I give my boyfriend up for the guy I lost my virginity to?
Q. Im confused!! I have a boyfriend and STILL In love with thee guyy I lost it to! Ive been going out with my boyfriend for about 2 months now and everything was perfect THen I saw him[[myy loveer not my boyfriend]] I mean we are in the same click an...
A. 21 September 2007: You are too immature to be having sex and steady boyfriends. Wait awhile.... (read in full...)
How do I ask the friend out I have known for 3 months?
Q. I have a friend that i've known for about 3 months now and i really like her and want to ask her out. my problem is that i can't seem to get any alone time with her because our entire family met in greece so whenever we do see each other were never ...
A. 21 September 2007: Ask her father if it would be OK.... (read in full...)
Why do we let some get closer to us then others, even if they all seem to behave and have same qualities?
Q. Im looking for opinions, on finding urself attracted to someone,but you dont know what it is. That makes you attracted to that person. Im fairly older so been around,been in several relationships through the years,been married for 18 years,divorce...
A. 21 September 2007: Why do people fall in love? No scientist yet can fully explain it. That doesn't mean there are no logical reasons. If you date only losers you will fall in love with a loser. You have some control over the people you let get close enough to you ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my mum I am back with the guy that dumped me?
Q. PLease help people!! Okay here's the deal. My boyfriend I had for 7 mounths broke up with me and I was all sad and crying ect. I told my mom what happened and she told me to NEVER get back with him. (She's demanding) The next day we got back tog...
A. 21 September 2007: At your age the best source of advice is your mum. Stay away for awhile and then talk over with your mum.... (read in full...)
My fiance recently lost his grandmother and since then hes shut me out. How can I help him?
Q. hi everyone i really need your help on a very sensitive problem im facing.my fiance recently lost his grandmother they were really close,she was his world and visa versa,the days leading up to her death were quite traumatic for everyone but i felt ...
A. 21 September 2007: Does he have family? He should be seeing a doctor to determine if he needs treatment for depression. If he has no family you can contact see if there is a help group in you area and call them for advice.... (read in full...)
I'm falling out of love with him. How do I recover my feelings?
Q. We are already one year in me and my boyfriend, but i'm fallen out of love to him....what should i do to recover my feelings? coz i'm afraid also to loss him.....
A. 21 September 2007: Count your blessings you reached this point so quickly in your relationship. Think it over and try to figure out why you feel this way. Are you selfish? Does he have flaws you never liked? Are you too young to settle down? Has another guy ... (read in full...)
Should I end this or try and make it work?
Q. my g/f of 5 years and i have had a rough relationship, but we both still love each other dearly. its hard to explain. We have both done so much for one another and always been there for one another. My question is should i dump her because when we ...
A. 21 September 2007: You should end this and find a girl you get along with better and who has a more faithful bent.... (read in full...)
She dumped me out of the blue and now refuses to give my stuff back. What do I do?
Q. me and my girlfriend were very very close.on a sunday she told me i was the best,made love and she didn't want me to leave.on the monday i was dumped.that hurt was incredible.she has 2 remaining articles of mine.cassettes.only sentimental value to ...
A. 21 September 2007: I suggest you forget the tapes and buy new ones on ebay. She's not worth the aggravation. Otherwise, you come across as being petty.... (read in full...)
He is never very affectionate.
Q. I know my bf loves me alot but he doesnt seem to want to be affectionate towards me... for eg, he doesnt want to stroke me to slp (if I asked him to... esp since I dont sleep easily) or a massage if my body's aching. He's ever ready to make out with ...
A. 21 September 2007: This is just how some people are raised. Changing them is almost impossible so decide whether you can get used to it or not.... (read in full...)
Should I confront her about the secret texts and emails?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years. When she came to live with me she had just left her ex (we knew each other prior to our getting together). She is the type of person who keeps lots of friends, and thinks nothing of the fact that ...
A. 21 September 2007: It sounds like she's keeping her options open. Does she keep this close in touch with all her other friends. If not, I think she doesn't feel that strongly for you. Just be sure the evidence is overwhelming before confronting her. Expect she may ... (read in full...)
Do all guys go through stages like this?
Q. I went away on holiday for 11 days, and though we spoke to each other on MSN, he felt distant. He says he still loves me and we're still good together, he's just not interested in sex anymore/at the moment. Is there something wrong with me? S...
A. 21 September 2007: Most guys don't necessarily go through a stage like this. There can be many reasons for it. Maybe he wants to prove to himself that he likes you for more than the sex. Maybe he has become fearful that you will become pregnant. And, of course, he may ... (read in full...)
I loved a girl that got married to someone else. I cant forget her. What do I do now?
Q. Hi I am a boy 24 years old. i loved a girl and she got marride. just now i fell her love, i cant forget her. Her face is always on my eyes. what to do now iam a software engineer.Please help me,both of us are in bangalore. ...
A. 21 September 2007: Do a reality check and focus your attention on an avaiable girl.... (read in full...)
In an unhappy relationship with lots of issues... But am I giving him a fair chance?
Q. recently my boyfriend and i have been having big problems. He started a new job about 9 months ago which takes more of his time and energy, in turn, the past 7 months he has done nothing but work, eat and sleep. I have an office job which requires ...
A. 21 September 2007: Go ahead and make the children. Try to develope a list of things he has enough energy to do. Gradually expand the list when he shows signs of extra energy.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can be so immature. How can I make it work?
Q. I've been dating a guy for 3 years. We've had our usual ups and downs, breaksups and reunions, etc but I really need some advice. Now before I say anything I should say that my boyfriend can be REALLY immature, insecure and needy. Despite all of ...
A. 21 September 2007: 'Is that a threat?" No. it's a statment of fact. Why would you think it was a threat? Don't start argument over little thing. When he's late say, I missed you, I ate my dinner while it was warm. Do yo want me to reheat yours?... (read in full...)
How would any of you feel if your spouse never talked to you? Is it wrong for me to want out?
Q. How would any of you feel if your spouse never talked to you? Been married a number of years to a man who never opens up. He's kind to me, he provides for me, but I never feel close to him and it's getting harder to have sex with him because we ...
A. 21 September 2007: Ask questions that can't be answered with a yes or now. It may take a long time to train him out of his silent ways.... (read in full...)
I like him. Do I tell him how I feel, or have I missed my chance??
Q. I fell head over heels for a guy who recently got married. A few months before he did the deed, he told me how he felt about me. He said that hed fallen for me and never met anyone like me before. We had kissed on a few occasions, but one night...
A. 21 September 2007: You are lucky that you didn't become one of his conquests. Imagine what he tells his wife. Who is he lying to today?... (read in full...)
I am so confused as the whether I want a commitment and children or I just want to have fun
Q. I am a 26-year old female who has been with her boyfriend for nearly 3 years.We met through work and he is 11 years older than me. Although I love him very much I don't know whether he is the 'one'. We don't have a connection or 'spark' that people ...
A. 21 September 2007: I think you should seriously cosider settling down now. Make two list one for and one against. The decide which reasons are mor important to your long term happiness. Then make your decision.... (read in full...)
I cant seem to stop picking fights with my guy and its driving him away!
Q. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been going out for about 10 months.. We were 3 1/2 hours away from each other this summer, and would see each other a couple times a month. Everything was wonderful and our relationship was the best it's ever been. We ...
A. 21 September 2007: You have some internal anger that you direct at him. He will not take this treatment much longer. You need to go at lease 2 months without starting a fight. During that time you must figure why you get the urge to fight. Writing dow you feeling ... (read in full...)
I initiated a text and now worry he lost interest as he didnt have to chase me as much
Q. Hi Recently met a guy who is 27. I am 19. He asked for my number and did text me in the first week, nearly every day (I let him text me first). After talking to a friend, she suggested that I text him first for once or he will think I'm not in...
A. 21 September 2007: I don't think you tried too hard. Send him another text and ask him to text you at MSN. The patiently wait for his reply. You should know soon what he thinks of you.... (read in full...)
We're used to seeing each other every day but now it will be only once a month, until college. How will this work out?
Q. I need help I'm moving away from fl and I love my gf she is 18 and I'm 17 we have been dating for about 6 months we had sex a lot and we both love each other. This is both of ours very first relationships that we have ever been in. I have to move ...
A. 21 September 2007: This can work for a year. Keep in touch by a letter each day. When you travel why not each drive half way, 500 miles each. Much easier for each to handle. that with internet and phone should keep the love alive for a year.... (read in full...)
My family don't understand my feelings after the recent break up, and it's hard for me to concentrate on employment now and put up with their reaction. Help!
Q. Not necesarily a question but a cry for help. I'm so mad. My sister got a job a this great company and they are still hiring people. I'm unemployed so I applied for a job there and got an interview. I canceled it and rescheduled because I didn't ...
A. 21 September 2007: You need to lose your negative attitude. Go there and do your best on that one day. Don't think of prior problems. Don't think of tomorrow's problems. Just work on the hear and now. After they make their decision you can decide what to do next.... (read in full...)
I'm dating a married man who cheated on me! His wife refuses to divorce him and I don't know what to do.
Q. What can i do now? I am a 26 year old girl, pretty and independent. My college boyfriend left me when I went abroad for my further degree. I had another boyfriend two years after I came back to the country, but i found he married, he cheated on m...
A. 21 September 2007: I can't beieve you blaming much of the problems on yourself. Those arguments are flawed. They are only excuses to continue your heartbreak.... (read in full...)
My self esteem is so low and I really can't afford the counslor that I've booked. Any help please?
Q. I think i'm cracking up. I've always felt like i dont fit in any where, my self esteem has taken a battering over the years. I was bullied in the past at work and school and pretty much dont know where my life is going. I broke up with another ...
A. 19 September 2007: Go to the councilor and tell him/her what you are saying here. The cost may be adjustable but anyway you can afford to do some. Don't hang for long with guys who aren't nice. Look at each day as new and do your best. What you did yesterday should ... (read in full...)
My young friends mum has been having an affair and my friend doesn't know what to do?
Q. Hi, I'm writing on behalf of one of my best friends. We live in the Arabian gulf and her parents got divorced. She lives with her mother who has in the last 3 months told her that she has been having an affair with a married man for over 7 years and ...
A. 19 September 2007: It's not her job to run her mum's life. She should just love her mum and wish the best for her.... (read in full...)
He gets violent if I ask him not to be in contact with his ex.
Q. my boyfriend of 9 months and the man who i live with accepts the fact i have a son from a previous relationship and doesnt get mad when my sons imprisoned father sends letters but it infuriates me when his ex that lives 10minutes away calls him and ...
A. 19 September 2007: Tell him to lay off the ex or hit the road.... (read in full...)
I really like a guy but I think maybe my friend likes him too. What should I do?
Q. hi, i really like this guy and we have a good time together, but im afraid incase he doesn't fancy me. I think we flirt but maybe thats how he is. Im also afraid that my friend lkes him. What should i do i really like him??...
A. 19 September 2007: Talk to your friend and decide who'll make the first play for him.... (read in full...)
I'm dating a married man who cheated on me! His wife refuses to divorce him and I don't know what to do.
Q. What can i do now? I am a 26 year old girl, pretty and independent. My college boyfriend left me when I went abroad for my further degree. I had another boyfriend two years after I came back to the country, but i found he married, he cheated on m...
A. 19 September 2007: You need to start looking for a better (unmarried) boyfriend.... (read in full...)
He's older, messes around with me and looks out for me. Should I date him?
Q. Hi, i really need some advice. i really like this guy i work with. hes much older than me (15 years), and i need help finding out if he likes me too. he always messes around with me ang plays little games. He looks out for me too. what do you think?...
A. 17 September 2007: He may act like a father to you, which is fine. Wait and see if he asks you out on a date. Do you enjoy hanging out with him?... (read in full...)
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