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... Send *ommy7 a private message | | | *ommy7's profile:I am an educated guy with a doctorate degree. When I worked I solved problems and gave advice. I tend to be specific and direct. I like to argue issues and don't take criticsm personal. I live off investments I've made over the years. I love reading books and surfing the internet. I travel a little every now and then. I rarely plan things in advance.
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I told my FWB that I'm being tested for cancer and he left! Just how shallow is a FWB situation?
Q. Here's one for you women in friends with benefits situations - Guys just how shallow is a FWB situation? I recently told my "good friend" of 9 months that I had to be tested for cancer and he emailed me that it was a good time for him to disappear...
A. 10 October 2007: Ditto my earlier advice.... (read in full...)
Do I hold out for this bloke that could make me really happy if he eventually split up with his lass, or leave it now?
Q. Ive fancied someone from work since i started there 3 years ago, but i new he had a girlfriend, so stayed well clear. about 2 yrs ago he came onto me at an xmas party but i thought he was just drunk and laughed it off, and weve just been our no...
A. 1 October 2007: You deserve better. Respect yourself and find a better boyfriend.... (read in full...)
I've liked this guy for 6 years. What do you do when you find out you like a guy?
Q. Hi, this is a really stupid time to ask this and am stupid for not asking earlier. But hey am still going to ask I've liked a guy for 6years and still think about and might still have some feelings for him, am 14 he's 14 anyways i haven't told him ...
A. 29 September 2007: From time to time mention the things you like about him.... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do. My guy keeps dumping me because he doesn't like my mates?
Q. ok here goes its really weired but i think i still love this guy, i have already been out with him twice and both times he has dumped me for the most stupidest reason e.g. he had a argument with my bestfriend then dumped me for it. i really don` t ...
A. 29 September 2007: He is too immature to have a gf. Just try to be a friend.... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should believe her anymore when she keeps blowing me out?
Q. my girlfriend asked me out the other day, and i said yes... were happy and talk alot!! but lately ive been coming un stcuk for words... i getvery nervous wen i talk to her and i am alwaiis trying to find reasons to talk/meet her... she keeps ...
A. 29 September 2007: When your with her you should play board game, cards, video games or anything that will present a flow of things to talk about. Watch a comedy movie.... (read in full...)
Confused about this guy!
Q. hello when i met my boyfriend five months ago, we both agreed to have fun and see how it goes. i felt though that in the beginning he was unwilling to commit. he is extremely kind to me very thoughtful and very helpful. he never however ...
A. 29 September 2007: Tell him he has two days to dump the other gf. If not, you will dump him.... (read in full...)
What could he want after all this time???
Q. I have this ex-boyfriend who is bothering me at the moment. We parted company 4 years ago after dating for a couple of months. I thought we got on great but he just disappeared unexpectedly without indicating that he wanted to split up and after ...
A. 29 September 2007: Lose your curiosity and totally ignore him.... (read in full...)
I think I am depressed
Q. I think I am depressed.. I get upset over the littlest things, always crying about anything n everything... when I get upset I either eat loads(and I have gained loads weight) or eat nothing (terrible stretch marks from putting weight on n off)...
A. 29 September 2007: Sounds like you may have depression. You need to do a lot mor exercise. Avoid stress by meditation, watch comedy movie and reading books. Also a visit to a Physciahatrist would be heplful.... (read in full...)
He didn't explain what was going on.
Q. Hi, I'm 21, female and I met a guy a few months ago at work. I asked him to go out and we went out a few times. We went for drinks at the bar. But he always waited for me to ask him to do things. After a while he seemed more interested and started ...
A. 29 September 2007: You win some you lose some. Count this as a loss and move on to a nicer guy.... (read in full...)
If I do the bad guy thing
Q. I am 21 soon id like to think I know a bit since I had a crap life my girlfriend cheated on me and I gave her a 2nd chance and she cheated on me with 2 guys at the same time why do things like this happen to nice guys. Well I don’t think I am a ...
A. 29 September 2007: More girls than you would think have low self esteem and are attracted to the bad boy act. You act slightly interested and treat her like crap. Always late, out of money or gas, need to have her do your laudry or run an errand. She feels lucky ... (read in full...)
Big Age Gap
Q. I have feelings for a female at work,but I am 52 and she is 29.Is this too much of an age difference? How would I tell if there is any interest on her part?...
A. 29 September 2007: You need to make her a friend first. You do that by talking and doing things for her. After that you'll sense whether or not she could like you as a bf.... (read in full...)
Do I have feelings for him again?
Q. Ok See me and my ex we have been out twice now. There was a month in between when we were on a break i spose. Then he asked me back out again. But after a month i got fed up since he kept flirting with all of my friends and constantly lieing t...
A. 28 September 2007: Just because you have feelins for him doesn't mean he's the right gouy for you. Move on and find a nicer guy.... (read in full...)
I want neutral conversation, but he feels distant...
Q. Okay, So my boyfriend who I have mention has been stressed with college and having to spend a good amount of money on nessecary purchases. I have been trying to give him space, I feel that maybe if i dont give he will want me more?? I want to ...
A. 28 September 2007: Most guys don't feel comfortable saying "I love you." Since he does it sometimes he probally does love you. Guys tend to be more nonverbal. Ask him to a picnic and listen to music, the idea being to be around him without too much pressure him to ... (read in full...)
I want to ask a guy to homecoming, but I hardly talk with him! Any advice?
Q. I'm a sophomore, and the guy I like is a senior. Our homecoming is in 3 weeks. I don't talk to him often, and we don't have any classes together. I would like to ask him, but I don't know what he'll say. I asked him to prom last year and he said no, ...
A. 28 September 2007: Being a year after you first asked him out and you are no closer to him at all. I suggest you ask someone in your group of friends instead. Tell your girlfriends that you want to go. Have them ask their boyfriends if they know anyone. There are ... (read in full...)
I want to know if my ex and I can have a relationship again; he asked his friend who I had a casual relationship with to stop flirting w/ me.
Q. I can't seem to get over my first love, Andy. We split five years ago and one year later we began hanging out again but he would not take me back. Two years ago he moved in with Leigh, a good male friend of mine. Leigh and I had an ongoing ...
A. 28 September 2007: Trying to get Andy will result in disaster. You need to move on with someone outside of Andy's orbit. The thoughts you have of Andy are not in his mind.... (read in full...)
I told my FWB that I'm being tested for cancer and he left! Just how shallow is a FWB situation?
Q. Here's one for you women in friends with benefits situations - Guys just how shallow is a FWB situation? I recently told my "good friend" of 9 months that I had to be tested for cancer and he emailed me that it was a good time for him to disappear...
A. 28 September 2007: He may be scarred by the situation. Keep in touch, he'll probablly get over it. Maybe he deals with stress poorly. Think back to other situations that stressed him. How did he cope?... (read in full...)
We're on break but he says we're not postponing the holidays together, already reserved. I'm confused.
Q. ok I have a gourgeous boyfriend who I thought adored me. We've been arguing over little and big things for a while- not least having to postpone our 2 week holiday to Thialand due to a washed passport. I'm 27, he's 29 and has a 10 year old son. We...
A. 28 September 2007: Refuse the trip to Thialand. Who starts and continues all those big and little arguments? Maybe he got cold feet. Maybe he's thinking he is not getting what he really wants from you. That's why there are so many divorces these days. It's all ... (read in full...)
We're on break, but he's still excited to go apartment searching for US! What should I do?
Q. So i tried to talk to my boyfriend last night, to have that neutral conversation. So that way he can tell me how he feels annd how i feel. IT backfired! He can never tell me hows hes feeling really. This is what i got from hhim: "I feel rushed with ...
A. 28 September 2007: Sounds like he is trying to avoid commitment. You need to decide how long you can go without it. You need to judge whether or not he ever will.... (read in full...)
Do men run to arms of a stranger for the sexual "escape" when they are under stress, instead of being with their partners? Is my bf going to cheat and blame it on the "stress" ?
Q. When my b/f is stressed out about work, he tends to not want sex. Okay, I can understand that, I know stress can affect a person's sex drive sometimes, but recently during one of those stressful phases, my b/f e-mailed a female friend and made a r...
A. 28 September 2007: I don't think wanting to have sex with a stranger is a common reaction of men to stress. That said, simple distractions are stress relieving. Exercise is also stress relieving. Is sex with you helpful for his stress?... (read in full...)
My ex is the dance instructor I met through school. Can she get in trouble? How can I win her back? If I can't, then how do I move on?
Q. i was in a production of oklahoma at my 6th form school. Anyway at the after show party the dance insturctor who had been teaching was the moves came to the party and after a few drinks we got talking and one thing led to another and we ended up ...
A. 28 September 2007: Yes she could get in trouble. You should know dating her was wrong. Your desires are misplaced.... (read in full...)
Do I hold out for this bloke that could make me really happy if he eventually split up with his lass, or leave it now?
Q. Ive fancied someone from work since i started there 3 years ago, but i new he had a girlfriend, so stayed well clear. about 2 yrs ago he came onto me at an xmas party but i thought he was just drunk and laughed it off, and weve just been our no...
A. 28 September 2007: Are you sure he really has a gf? Maybe he has broken up with her? Check this out before you decide what to do.
Tell him he needs to make up his mind because you will no longer be a side dish.... (read in full...)
I want him to know that I like him, without telling him. Any advice?
Q. I really like this guy and have done for a year. My friends call me a flirt so if I flirt with him he'll just think i'm being myself. Sometimes i think he flirts with me but maybe thats how he is. I want him to know i like him without me accualy ...
A. 27 September 2007: Do your flirting only for him and he'll get the idea.... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me anymore, but I don't think I can live without him! Please help me!
Q. Hi, I had a relationship of 11 years. During 10 years we were very happy. Two years ago we bought a house. Then I wanted to marry. My boyfriend would not. And we couldn't talk about it so one year ago I left my him. We worked about a year on our r...
A. 27 September 2007: I don't think he really wants you back. Besides, you've wasted way too much time on him already. Time for you to move on. See the cops about the stalker.... (read in full...)
We have a great relationship, but lately I feel he's growing further away from me! What can I do?
Q. Ok so i guess i should start by saying that my boyfriend and i have been going out for about 10months now. Things were a bit strange to start off with; we were best friends before. Anyway, we have a great relationship but lately i feel he's grow...
A. 27 September 2007: Lay back and be a good listener. Gove him back rubs and reming him that you care for him and you will be there for him. Give him some time to work through his problems.... (read in full...)
We are drifting apart, but I am getting closer to a female friend...
Q. My wife and I have been married for 4 years now. Over the past year especially she has been becoming distant. I wirk alot and she complains that I am never home. I tried to change that this summer. I am usually home by 6 or 7. However anytime I ...
A. 27 September 2007: Give the wife another chance. She was moving toward the point where you would need to dump her. As your wife you owe her another go. Give her a list of what you expect from her and ask if that is unreasonable.... (read in full...)
W complex situation...
Q. Okay here's my situation - I had a liking for my mates ex a couple of months after they broke up and she liked me(he broke it off twice with her). This was so unexpected coz i didnt see this coming and i never looked at her that way before, espe...
A. 27 September 2007: She doesn't want you for a bf. She does want for a friend. And, she still has feeling for your mate. Stand by as her friend and see how things develope.... (read in full...)
I've fallen for him, but don't know what to say b/c I get embarassed!
Q. well im 15 and I've recetly fallen for this guy 'stuart' (17). I went away on tour with him last year, but didnt talk to him much, i hung around with him but i was much closer to one of his other friends who i liked a bit, and we were the "couple" ...
A. 27 September 2007: Just ask him general stuff like what have you been doing for fun lately? Invite to some event and see if he accepts.... (read in full...)
Should I ask her if I'm more than just a friend?
Q. I have this question: should i ask her am i a friend or i'm more and tell her my feelings or not.???? Well i met a girl in bar, with my friend we were talking and i met this girl, the details are not important, the meaning is that, she lives ...
A. 27 September 2007: Asking her now is poor strategy. Even if she has a bf she may give him up before she moves back. You interference could cement them together.... (read in full...)
I can't tell if he likes me and it's driving me crazy!!
Q. Ok i know this sounds stupid why would you need to ask if someone likes you – you should know right…but its not that simple…and its driving me crazy!!! I am in a serious long term relationship however I have developed really strong and confused...
A. 26 September 2007: For a girl in a serious long term relationship you spend way too much time on this guy. Have you talked this over with your boyfriend? The guy is just injoying flirting with you. He doesn't love you.... (read in full...)
I miss him so much and I'm afraid he will meet someone else please help.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago and when I asked him back he said no he had enough of the fighting and he loves me, I'm his soulmate and hopefully things will be different someday. I didn't trust him and it wasn't his fault, I had some ...
A. 26 September 2007: Contact him regularly unless he tells you not to. You did this so you must risk the consequences.... (read in full...)
Out of the blue, I am having issues with my wife's past. What now...?
Q. Out of the blue, I am having issues with my wife's past. What now...? I have been married 13 years, three kids. Back when dating my wife and I went over pretty detailed things about our sexual past. Names, places, how it took place and so on....
A. 26 September 2007: While your thoughts are normal, dwelling on them is not. Such acient history has no effect on today and tomorrow. Keep changing the subject when it jumps into your mind. Sometimes having a little phrase to repeat, like "I won her love and she's all ... (read in full...)
I don't know how he'd react if I asked him out, or how my friends would react! What should I do?
Q. My family has been friends with this other family since before I was even born and now they have four kids and my parents have me and my brother. When we were little we used to share a bath and everything. I am like, best friends with the two girls ...
A. 26 September 2007: Why not talk to him and see if his feelings are mutual?... (read in full...)
Why has my friend changed so much and keeps blocking me out?
Q. My friend has totally changed and I have no idea what is up. She keeps on ignoring me and I am the one that always says hi to her. She is bitching about a girl that has done somthing very bad to her but she is nicer to her than she is to me. Last ...
A. 26 September 2007: Back off and give her space for awhile until she decides to tell you what's up.... (read in full...)
How will I know if I am in love or just lust?
Q. how do you know love is real ?? i have been with my present bf almost 10months and i am starting to question myself and my answers are all the same i do love him but i wanna know how you know its real love opposed to just a lust thing ...
A. 26 September 2007: Love goes beyond the physical. Do you totally enjoy his company and doing everything with him? Does your mind always consider him when you are making a decision?... (read in full...)
Am I just relishing the attention or am I seeing 'Stuart' as a replacement for what I could have had with 'Michael'... ?
Q. Total dilemma. I've known this guy 'Michael' for about five years. We've been to uni together and become really good mates. We have the same sense of humour, like the same bands, he is without a doubt my best male friend. Both his mates and mine ...
A. 26 September 2007: Obviously you don't really love Michael. Stop sending him mixed signals or you may break his heart.... (read in full...)
She says she likes someone else...
Q. I am 17 and so is my girlfriend. we have been together for just over 2 years. She has just told me that she likes/fancys somebody else, even though she does not find him particuly attractive and claims she has never thought about doing anything with ...
A. 26 September 2007: She is immature and trying to rile you up. Don't let her get to you.... (read in full...)
She's 21 now, but when she was 15 she had sex with her teacher! What should I do?
Q. I'm stuck for what to do. I've been with my girlfriend a few years now, and a few months ago we told each other's deepest secret (Here I was thinking it would be an interesting game to play, but really didn't expect anything like she told me). ...
A. 26 September 2007: It's not your problem. Let it go. I hope you don't let it interfere with your relationship with her.... (read in full...)
I've had a crush on my best friend's brother...
Q. Ok, so I have had a major crush on my best friend's brother. I've liked him since early spring, and over the summer I practically lived at their house (to hang out with my best friend). I've known him almost my entire life, and our families are...
A. 26 September 2007: He sounds shy. You need a little alone time with him.... (read in full...)
Still in love with the ex and have been seeing him behind my husband's back. What to do?
Q. Dear Cupid... Have I got a problem.. I was living with someone for 10 years, we had two daughters and a horrible relationship. We were young and naive and ended up seperating. Then right away I started seeing the man who is now my husband of 3 ...
A. 26 September 2007: Dump the ex and try to reconcile with your husband. If not, divorce him and wait awhile before dating your ex.... (read in full...)
My friend asked me to have sex with her. I don't know what to say or do!
Q. What should I do? There is this girl st school. and today during P.e. she asked me to spend the night with her. so i said sure. because she is one of my good friends. then she said and "while we are at my housee..... we can, you know..." and and...
A. 26 September 2007: She sounds mixed up, you should no go to spend the night with her.... (read in full...)
He's seeing a girl who lives over in South Africa... But I don't want him to go because I like him!
Q. i am in love with a guy who is in a realtionship with a girl in south africa! the thing is we have been seeing each other for the past few months and now he is going to see her in october and i dont want him to go! he says he has deep feelings for ...
A. 26 September 2007: You mean he WON'T answer your questions. Good luck with the player. Let me know what he will say when he returns.... (read in full...)
My bf is pushing his child on me and my family. How can I talk to him about this?
Q. my boyfriend of three months is pushing his child on to me and my family. im 24yrs old if i wanted a kid i would have one. i cant talk to him about this because he ALWAYS takes it the wrong way. i do care about him alot... how do i stop this with ...
A. 26 September 2007: I think the comments changed your outlook and allowed you to see a reasonable compromise.... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to shopping! It's so hard not to spend money - what can I do?
Q. It's really hard for me to save money - *really* hard. All I want to do is buy things! And they're not even things for me - I love to buy *other* people things, just because I like to make people happy. I know that I don't *have* to buy people ...
A. 24 September 2007: Don't carry credit cards around except 1 for an emergency. Don't carry excess cash. Don't go shopping without a list of necessary purchases. Then don't buy anything not on the list without first going home and thinking it over as to whether it is ... (read in full...)
My bf is pushing his child on me and my family. How can I talk to him about this?
Q. my boyfriend of three months is pushing his child on to me and my family. im 24yrs old if i wanted a kid i would have one. i cant talk to him about this because he ALWAYS takes it the wrong way. i do care about him alot... how do i stop this with ...
A. 24 September 2007: Dump him. Obviously he wants to see you and his kid as a family. You shouldn't try to separate him from his kid. Imagine how you'd feel if you were the kid.... (read in full...)
He's seeing a girl who lives over in South Africa... But I don't want him to go because I like him!
Q. i am in love with a guy who is in a realtionship with a girl in south africa! the thing is we have been seeing each other for the past few months and now he is going to see her in october and i dont want him to go! he says he has deep feelings for ...
A. 24 September 2007: If he doesn't have a bigger reason for going to South Africa than to see her, you should give him an ultimatum. If he goes, dump him.... (read in full...)
Do I hold out for this bloke that could make me really happy if he eventually split up with his lass, or leave it now?
Q. Ive fancied someone from work since i started there 3 years ago, but i new he had a girlfriend, so stayed well clear. about 2 yrs ago he came onto me at an xmas party but i thought he was just drunk and laughed it off, and weve just been our no...
A. 16 September 2007: Knowing how he is, are you sure he's the guy you want, or was he just a challenge? From my view you need to drink less and find a more stable boyfriend.... (read in full...)
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