A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi i have been married for 21 years my husband is a lorry driver,he started going into a cafe about three years ago for his breakfast and became friendly with the owners her husband knows mine through the lorrys as hes also a lorry driver,but his wife works there cafe i have met her twice and she seemed quite nice.two weeks ago i used his phone to send a text to my daughter because i never had any credit and although he had no sent or recieved text messages from her i noticed the message recipients button so i went into it and see hes been texting her up to six times a day i couldnt see how many times she had sent texts because the recipient is the person that had sent them if this makes sence,it just shows how many text he has sent out and not what was said so i dont no what they talk about the text range between 7am and the latest being around 4.30pm in the two weeks that i have looked hes text everyday but always delets them before he gets home i am hopeing he will slip up and forget to delete one off them he thinks his clever to delete everything but he dont no about the message recipients or he would off deleted that aswell,am i being silly into thinking something is going on or does deleting his texts and not telling me anything make him guilty off something,there is never any texts at night or weekends please help i dont no what to think anymore.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): Hi yes it was eating me away because he had been sending six or seven everyday,and some days it was 7am and he dont leave for work untill 6.45am.i did ask him and he said he text her to tell her what time he would be in for a cup of tea,i also rang her to ask why they were texting each other everyday she said she sends him jokes and sometimes asks if he would stop in shop for milk or bread if they were running low in the cafe she assured me that thats all it was because she was happily married.thing is the cafe closes at 2pm and a lot of the texts were after that time on one day he sent texts at 2.45 2.56 3pm 3.20pm and 4.15pm so im still none the wiser but he has not sent any more since the day i confronted him so i really dont no what to think anymore.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (7 March 2012):
 If I were you, I'd start going to the cafe with him for breakfast! And keep going every day. If he suggests a different restaurant say no. You really LOVE their food. Tell him it'll be romantic for the two of you to have breakfast together again. If you can't catch the text messages, at least you can remind both of them that you're still married and very much in the picture.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Why dont you send her a text from his phone, asking she ring him at a certain time (when he will be with you) Or send a text from his phone so her reply will have to prove somethings going on (or not)
If you dont want to do that then as the others say, take the bull by the horns and ask him whats going on,tell him how you found out. It will cause ructions but you know him and you will know whats what by his reaction.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 He's been texting your daughter? If you don't feel comfortable asking your hubby about his texts (as you shouldn't, considering you were snooping), why not ask your daughter what it's about instead?
Has this guy ever given you a reason to be suspicious?
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (6 March 2012):
The best advise I can offer you is that you take the bull by the horns and sit him down and explain all. Explain that when you borrowed his phone, you noticed all the sent messages to that particular woman. Be prepared for him to get on the defensive for snooping on his phone... but you must ensure you stand your ground and get answers.
I personally can't be doing with trying to catch someone out, not only is it draining, but it can sometimes end by you shooting yourself in the foot - he may just have a valid reason as to why he has been contacting her.
You must communicate with him otherwise it will eat away at you. Whatever reasons he comes up with, you will believe what you want to believe and it may be something that you don't really want to hear or can deal with - but seriously, you can't keep going on like this so you must confront him!
Good luck! x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): there should never be secrets between a husband and wife. Honest, open communication builds and strengthens the marriage.
As soon as there is secrecy and a need to hide- yes, this is suspect because an honest man does not ACT in such a manner.
Plain and simple.
If it was innocent, there would be no use in deleting and hiding such a relationship.
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