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My Co-worker has a Gf but keeps on winking at me. I'm interested, but how should I indicate that? Or could I be mistaking his intentions?

Tagged as: Crushes, Family, Gay relationships, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 September 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 13 September 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a coworker that has been winking at me for sometime. I didnt really pay it any attention at first because I thought that he was just friendly. However,I really noticed it this last time when he winked really slow and pointed his finger at me when noone else was around- I smiled back.

One day some guys from work invited me to a function and He showed up. Halfway through dinner he leans over and winks again.

Another day he mentioned something about going to a party and I told him that I would come...(thought that he was joking)

Also,I did my research and found out that he is younger than me by like 5 years,has a girlfriend with two kids ( not his kids). I am interested but not sure of the best way to give him the go-ahead. Advice?

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (13 September 2012):

Sugarbuns agony auntI wouldn't give him a second thought. He's in a committed relationship and although he's a bit of a flirt, he is completely off limits to you and you should behave accordingly. Until he comes to you and says point blank, "My girlfriend and I have broken up, do you want to go out with me?" Don't waste anymore time analyzing his "winks". They mean nothing.

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (13 September 2012):

I don't think it is a good idea to pursue any kind of relationship with a work colleague. Is he aware of your orientation? If not, there is a very good possibility that approaching him will make your work relationship very uncomfortable in the future.

I think it would be best if you not read too much into his winking. There are a few explanations.

He is socially awkward.

Some people wink as a playful (completely nonsexual) may be a familial way to express platonic affection.

Some people have a tic disorder. A tic is a repetetive sound or gesture (includes winking or blinking.)

Finally, too much caffeine can cause muscles in the face near the eye and specifically above the eye to twitch incredibly fast. Blinking or winking can sometimes make this stop.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

Well your a male aged 30-35? He is with a woman, his girlfriend. He keeps winking at you, again and again..asked you to a party..he's a prat

I also think he's a wynd up, plus he is a work colleague.

My advice, avoid him like the plague,ignore him, give him no encouragement.

If you are looking for a partner or whatever,look away from the work environment for somebody who is single

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (12 September 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntAll that winking sounds weird and annoying, that would turn me off real quick. But I am curious, why are you wanting to go ahead with a guy that has a girlfriend? Are you just wanting to have sex with him? I guess since he is a creepy winking guy he probably would go for it. I just don't see the point to it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (12 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntmy first thought was that maybe he has tourettes syndrome.... the wink and all...

how flattered you must feel that a younger taken man is going after you.... don't be. many men that are aggressive towards older women (and you are quite young younger than my fiance so it's all relative) do so because they are of the belief that they can get no strings attached sex with a woman who is of a looser moral than they would normally consider for a partner... in other words they think we sleep around..... cause we are old and desperate and horny.... silly boys...

let's look at this:

1. he may JUST be flirting... and to me that's ok... I'm an outrageous flirt... my fiance knows it and accepts it. Just like I accept that he looks at all the younger pretty women... and if you called his bluff you would know this... but if he's not just flirting and you call him then we get to my other points...

2. he may be thinking you are an easy lay... and he can cheat on his girlfriend (assuming that he still has one since you didn't ASK him but rather you did the stalker thing and "checked him out") and you will never rat him out for various reasons...

3. dating a co-worker is NEVER a good idea...

4. IF all of the above is false and he is really attracted to you and wants to leave his girl friend and be with YOU... will you EVER trust him knowing what he did to another woman to be with you?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012):

What do you mean you're interested and want to know a way to give him the go-ahead?

No OP, not going to help you be a home wrecker with Mr. Facial Tic.

Besides why would we advise you not only to help him ruin his family just so you can get a bit of cock but also most likely fuck up your job and make untenable for you to work there?

Nope, not going to do it, go to the cosmo or other such morally reprehensible site that will help you act like an ass.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012):

Why do you want to get involved with someone who is flirting like that when he is involved with someone else? Why???

Sure, maybe he is cute, whatever, have some morals and don't mess with people who are taken...and also think about what this guy is really about...he doesn't have any morals either and is likely doing the same thing with or to others as are only going to get the short end of the stick with this situation.

Seek out someone who is available and will give all of themselves to you, not sloppy seconds...

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A male reader, tamperingtampaguy United States +, writes (12 September 2012):

My advice is to stay away. Not just for moral reasons but to protect yourself emotionally. At your age you should know what people like this are about.

Obviously , he is deceiving his gf and if he is just flirting

You can embarass yourself. Furthermore, What makes you think he would not deceive you or try to pick up other women when he is with you?

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2012):

SensitiveBloke agony auntHe has a girlfriend so what's he doing flirting with you? Do you want to start a relationship with someone who can't be trusted?

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