A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Would you be upset if your bestfriend started "fooling around" with someone that you absolutely hated? Back gorund story sorry if its long. im 18 an both my bf and bestfriend are 20 My bestfriend is also my boyfriends bestfriend (my boyfriend has known him alot longer tho) Through out the friendship he has done stuff to try and get me and my bf to break up and he confessed and said that he has strong feeling for me and that he loves me I of course turned him down and have been with my bf over a year now but 4 or 5 months ago me and my bf needed some space and this girl lets call her abbey (the one i hate) was throwing her self at him and told him she would sleep with him and they only knew each other for a week!She emailed me and was being a total witch to me when i never even talked to her before. My bf says he just talked on phone and video chat but i was still super hurt i became closer with our bestfriend but not like that and i made it clear to him but then me and my bf worked things out and then the next day my bestfriend goes and sleeps with abbey even after i was crying my eyes out to him about what she done! I stoped being his friend and we got into a nasty fight but a few weeks later my bf wanted us all to be friends again an it seemed to work. But i made my bestfriend to promise to never talk about abbey to my bf cuz i dont want him to think about her and than i just found out that he was telling my bf how amazing sex is and is still sleeping with her. he only new her for a few days when this 1st happened. I want to tell him either be friends with me or her but do i have a right to say that? i know i wont continue to be friends with him if he is with her though and my bf just wants me to fake be his friend i dont know what to do im really mad and just want that cheap sl*t to go away.
View related questions:
cheap Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (19 July 2012):
 If this was me (speaking for me only), I would do things by myself for awhile or hang out with someone different who actually values the alliances between friends. If all of this friends of yours are taking sexual relationships so lightly, it won't be long before they're all bored of each other and move on to someone else. Technically, your friends have a right to chase after anyone they want, but realisitically sometimes this causes a lot of hurt feelings and unnecessary drama. I don't take well to drama, so I would avoid all of them. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it doesn't matter whether you think a girl is a cheap slut or not. You have to respect the freedom of others to make their own decisions...good or bad. I know it is a mixed up mess and sometimes you lose friendships due to things like this. Hopefully you can work something out with your friend, but I do not know how much time and effort I would put into a friendship with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHank you guys for the replys but the girl is only going after the people i care about first my bf and she couldnt get him and now shes going after my bestfriend. And as for my bestfriend he goes after ALL of my boyfriends girlfiends i was the 5th girl he tried to seal from his friend.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): How about this, you go to him and give him your ultimatum, tell him that he either choses you as a friend and stops being with this girl, and in return you will break up with your boyfriend and be his friend! Are you going to do that, no I didn't think so. He can be with anyone he wants to, just like you can be. You have no right to make an ultimatum like this, you turned him down, that's it. You are the one who has the problem, so work on yourself, you don't have to like her, you don't have to like him being with her, you just have to respect his decision. If you can't respect his decision then your not really his friend in the first place, and your just causing yourself a whole heap of drama for nothing. I am sorry, but you need to realise it's not his problem that you don't like her, it's yours. he can be with her if he wants to be. Good Luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): Put yourself in his shoes for a second.
Would you be upset if the man you liked refused you repeatedly and then suddenly became interested in your well-being only when you showed interest in another man that you disliked? How about if he issued ultimatums about choosing him over someone else?
You'd probably think he was being insecure, needless jealous, possessive, and perhaps even a bit scary.
You might have classified him as a "bestfriend", but good friends are there for support, they aren't there to dictate people's taste, what they talk about, or what they do with their lives.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (18 July 2012):
 Sorry but I would be upset if my b/f fooled around with ANYONE other than me. Regardless of who she was or how much I did or didn't like her.
...............................
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (18 July 2012):
I am confused with all of the bf and best friends, but I'll give it shot. First of all, your best friend has a right to do what he wants with whom he wants. I question his judgement of sleeping with someone so quickly, but it's his business. It almost sounds like he did it to make you jealous. I am surprised you can be best friends with a boy simply because sex or sexual feelings almost always get in the way. If he has feelings for you, this is why you're having trouble. It all boils down to people can do what they want to do. And, you have a right to make any ultimatums with your best friend that you want. But if you do, don't be surprised if he ditches you. You need to decide if it's worth all of the drama and hurt feelings being friends with him. If it is...remain friends. If it isn't...split up.
...............................
|
