How do I get counselling without my parents knowing about it?
Q. hi after the sexual attacks that have happened to me in my past, and the names my parents shouted and called me weni told them really upset me and i will never tell them anything again. i now have my father in particular but along with the rest of ...
A. 9 January 2008: Talk to your school, there should be a guidance counselor, or some other form of counselor available to students who go there. She/He may be able to help you or refer you to someone who can. You must stop abusing yourself, that is not the answer. ... (read in full...)
I could be in hot water. How do I get out of this mess?
Q. ok so leme start off by saying that I know what I did here was stupid, immature, wrong, etc, and I am not proud of it. That said, I would appreciate it if you would keep your talking smut about me out of your answer. Anyway, my ex girlfriend an...
A. 9 January 2008: Just sit quiet and learn from this colossal mistake! First and foremost do NOT call her anymore and please have your friend stop as well if they haven't already. The police and the phone company are now monitoring her line and any calls you make ... (read in full...)
What's caising my boobs to get bigger?
Q. I am currently 20 years old and I have stopped growing a long time ago. That includes my breasts. As of late they have magically started to grow again. I noticed when I was not fitting right into my B cup. I am now a C cup. (although my boy...
A. 9 January 2008: You may have thought your body was done growing, but it may not have been. When I got married I was 19 yrs. old and thought I was completely "growed up"...I hit a another growth spurt around age 23 and my breasts went from 32A to a 34B, then around ... (read in full...)
Should I stick by my Boyfriend, after his Behaviour.
Q. I was at a party with my boyfriend. He got drunk and then told me to 'shut up' when i was talking to him! I was shocked and horrified. His best friend heard him and told him to apologise to me. I felt really hurt that my boyfriend would do such a ...
A. 9 January 2008: After his head cleared and he sobered up, did you try talking to him about his behavior? And did he offer any excuses, apologies or remorse? If not, I suspect your b/f is getting relationship-claustrophobic. Meaning, he no longer wants to be tied ... (read in full...)
Is he having a mid life crisis?
Q. About 2 months ago, I found out that my partner of 14 years (who is a Policeman) was receiving and sending flirtatious text messages to a wpc at work. We had a big row and he apologised and said that he had never been out with her and it had all ...
A. 9 January 2008: Yes I think he's having a mid-life meltdown and trying to chase after his missed youth. There won't be much you can do to stop him. He's already crossed the line in my opinion. If he stays you'll have to keep a close eye on him for God knows how ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend might be cheating on me
Q. hey guys, i have suspisions that my gf is cheating.. i hate to that but i cant help it. been dating for about 2 years now and shes being so weird lately.. everytime i ask to see her phone, she has to delete her msg's first. she always goes with...
A. 9 January 2008: If she isn't already cheating on you, I'd say she's definitely interested in her so-called "friend". You should give her the boot. It's only a matter of time before she shatters your heart. I think she's too young and too immature to be serious ... (read in full...)
My ex dumped me after some very weird behaviour on his part...
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me after we went on a trip to meet his family. I had had the feeling he was going to, i don't know why, but still i wasn't expecting it! He was acting weird the whole weekend, just not himself and then broke up with me ...
A. 9 January 2008: I suspect he found someone else.
... (read in full...)
I feel so alone, dumped and kicked out, how can I be strong?
Q. I just feel so alone right now. My 1 year relationship has broken down after seemingly over night, my boyfriend dumped me, and kicked me out. I'm in the middle of a career change and in September will be studying again, so you can understa...
A. 9 January 2008: I think in three weeks you should make yourself completely unavailable to him. Don't answer your door. Unplug your phone, don't go near your e-mail account until you know he's back at work abroad. Be strong. I know this will be hard but you need ... (read in full...)
We seem perfect for each other, but how should I wait?
Q. Am I looking for love of just desperate for it? I met this guy about two months ago and he is moving extremely slow. He has not completely broken ties with his old relationship, so I have not put up any pressure. However, we are both single ...
A. 9 January 2008: Be patient. We're so used to men maneuvering us into the bedroom after the second date, we don't recognize a good old fashioned guy! My b/f and I dated for four months before he finally made his move. And boy what a move! I'm glad I was patient ... (read in full...)
We seem perfect for each other, but how should I wait?
Q. Am I looking for love of just desperate for it? I met this guy about two months ago and he is moving extremely slow. He has not completely broken ties with his old relationship, so I have not put up any pressure. However, we are both single ...
A. 9 January 2008: Be patient. We're so used to men maneuvering us into the bedroom after the second date, we don't recognize a good old fashioned guy! My b/f and I dated for four months before he finally made his move. And boy what a move! I'm glad I was patient ... (read in full...)
She doesn't mind me smoking during sex but insists I wear a condom. Why?
Q. my girlfriend doesn't mind that I smoke but always insists that I wear a condom during sex-even though she's on the pill.Any blokes with a similar situation as to why?...
A. 8 January 2008: I suspect she's more concerned about getting a sexually transmitted disease from you, than being pregnant because the Pill protects her only from the pregnancy part. If you'd had any kind of sexual past, you could have a number of things that get ... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to him. How do I avoid ruining my marriage?
Q. I fell in love with my husband with just one look nearly 6 years ago. Then I met his good friend and fell in 'lust'. Immediately. This was probably 4 or 5 years ago. We recently started chatting online, and the flirting has gotten pretty ...
A. 8 January 2008: I suggest you find the strength to back off from your on-line flirting, chatting and begin to stop having so much contact with his friend. This thing can only backfire and leave you devastated in the long run. ... (read in full...)
Am I letting my sexual curiosity get the better of me?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my current gf for almost 4 years now. Prior to this I was only with one other woman. I am 30, she is 28, both professionals. For the past 2 months I have become insecure about her past. Previously she had been with roughly ...
A. 8 January 2008: I suspect it's bothering you now because you care about her more, and your relationship has deepened. I also suspect it bothers you because her more experience sexual past makes her seem more worldly, wise and perhaps easily bored with someone who ... (read in full...)
He have "minor" trust issues (which we handle very immaturely.) What should we do to solve them?
Q. I have been together with my girlfriend almost 10 months and she fell inlove with me after a month and I soon recipricated the feelings. We are so close with eachother all the time and in my opinion have a great relationship. We have minor trust ...
A. 17 December 2007: Your girlfriend may say she loves you, but I don't think she's ready to be tied down to one guy. Right now, she's getting alot of attention from different guys and she's enjoying the ego-trip. Truthfully, she's keeping them all on a string ... (read in full...)
I think my ex-girlfriend has something called "Hypomania". Is there anyway I can address this?
Q. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend who I love a whole bunch because she didn't call me for a week and didn't come to see me on thanksgiving. However, as I'm sitting here I'm thinking back over the course of our relationship and I'm ...
A. 30 November 2007: Show her the article you found on the internet and tell her that you have concerns that she may be un-diagnosed with this illness. Perhaps she'll be willing to go in for an appointment. Maybe if she's on the right medication her eratic behavior ... (read in full...)
I can't help not trusting my boyfriend! Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend and I love eachother very much but I can't help not trusting him. I am admittedly a control freak. Since my last boyfriend betrayed my trust several times I really have trouble trusting anybody now. I have been keeping this under ...
A. 26 November 2007: The way I see it, if you admit to your b/f that you snooped through his e-mails he will never trust you again, he will then change all his passwords and you will always wonder what else he's hiding from that point on. And it'll drive you nuts. I ... (read in full...)
I only last 2 minutes at most, what is average for guys?
Q. When i have sex with my girlfriend i only seem to last under 2 minutes... i make up for this in other ways and she loves our sex life but im ashamed that i dont last longer. what is the adverage time in mutes it takes a guy to reach an orgasm?...
A. 26 November 2007: Much, much longer. And she may be telling you it's okay but if she's not getting an orgasm before you climax, it's going to become a problem. Try focusing your mind on something else. I think it just takes practice. :-0)... (read in full...)
He's too bushy down below, how can I bring this up with him?
Q. Hi. My bf's hair down there never bothered me, but lately i've noticed that he hasn't really been trimming it like he used to and it's getting really thick. I really don't have a problem with hair, it's just that when i go down on him i'm ...
A. 26 November 2007: Yeah, the next time you see him naked say, "Getting a little slack on the grooming down there?..." Just make it sound light-hearted, like you're teasing him and hopefully he'll take the hint. You could offer to trim it for him, and turn it into ... (read in full...)
I cheated on him, and he beat me, how do I move forward?
Q. in june i made a very bad choice in my life..having been with the same man for 25 years.. a man i love so very very much ..mostly good years, not always happy years.. bickering, fighting and alot of silence .. now i see it was my life before and ...
A. 26 November 2007: Affairs are usually symptoms of bigger problems -- usually its the ones you sweep under the rug, thinking they'll go away -- such as boredom, a lack of intimacy, feeling unfulfilled, knowing you've grown apart but are too afraid to be alone. ... (read in full...)
How can I ease the negative thoughts?
Q. Hi, this is my 3rd question in a line of questions relating to my relationship, or should i say previous relationship now. My girlfriend broke up with me because my insecurities have pushed her too far away. She is at university and I struggle in a ...
A. 23 November 2007: Have you considered counseling? Sessions with a licensed professional will help you talk through your feelings, and come to healthy conclusions about yourself, which should help you break out of old patterns and be able to love and trust again. I ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me around when going out with his friends. Am I stupid for being upset by this?
Q. ive been with my guy 4 nearly 8 monthes. His best friends are female and i know he wont cheat on me..he's female mates have boyfriends. We all planned to do something on saturday then he asked me if i would be upset if he just go out with them ...
A. 8 November 2007: Where there's smoke, there's fire. I think it's very strange that all his best friends are women. How convenient for him if one of them gets so drunk she ends up sleeping with him, and now he's shutting you out of being there too? I smell ... (read in full...)
My wife's low sex drive is driving me crazy.
Q. My wife and I have been married for 3 years now. We have a beautiful daughter together and for all intended purposes, our lives are great. But we're not having sex. Well, not nearly enough, if you ask me. We've been together 8 years now, and u...
A. 8 November 2007: First of all, I'm going to assume that there's nothing physically wrong with your wife's health that could cause her sex drive to plummet. I'm also going to assume, she's not taking any medications that could be affecting it. And I'm going to ... (read in full...)
I've been such an idiot...i broke up with her and am still madly in love.
Q. I have been such an idiot. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend of five years because I was basically not taking responsibility for my experience of life - work, family, friends, my own feelings, you name it really. I loved her and I am still in love ...
A. 8 November 2007: I think it would be much more romantic to pour your heart out in a letter and tell her what is on your mind. At the end of the letter, you could simply wish her well with her new love and say good-bye. Or you could tell you to call you once she's ... (read in full...)
How can I be certain this time??
Q. I am engaged to be married in April 2008. I am having second thoughts because I have not known many people who are happily married for long. I am also divorced so I don't want to make a promise I can't keep (for the second time). But does this fee...
A. 8 November 2007: You can't imagine your life without him. You can't think of anyone you'd rather be with in life. Once you answer those two questions, you can be pretty certain your heart is in the right place regardless of your past, his past, or what others have ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is cheating
Q. I think my boyfriend is cheating. well all the sign are there,he doesnt call everyday as he used to,he send people he doent know sweet sms/mms.he is rude on the phone when i talk to him,we rarely see eah other and he has changed his style of ...
A. 8 November 2007: Talk is cheap, and actions speak louder than words, so regardless of what he "says" his actions say something different. You can't force someone to be in a relationship with you if they have one foot out the door. I'd say give this boy his freedom ... (read in full...)
The guy I dumped 5 years ago sends me flirty messages. What is going on?
Q. I heartlessly dumped a guy 5 years ago, for selfish and shallow reasons, realising almost straight away that it was a huge mistake but not being in the position to do anything about it. Anyways, he recently broke up with the girl he started seeing ...
A. 8 November 2007: I think it could be fate that your old b/f suddenly sent you a message out of the clear blue sky and you are already feeling restless and bored with your current beau. Go slowly, but be honest with him. Find out what he's doing and let him know ... (read in full...)
My doc confirmed it's a sexual dysfunction. It seems that no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who does not find sex pleasureable. Can anyone advise, please?
Q. I'm 23 yrs old. Well, right now I feel hurting myself. I don't feel well at all. It seems that no man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who does not find sex pleasureable for her at all. I guess I have a sexual dysfunction sinc...
A. 8 November 2007: You need to begin to understand why, rather than accept it as fact. There must be some hidden reasons, perhaps abuse in your past from a parent or other adult figure when you were a child, that left you feeling that sex is bad, wrong or somehow ... (read in full...)
Difference between love and friendship?
Q. i was recently going out with a young lady, and a couple of dates later she said she started to feel like we were friends, even though we were kissing and eventually had sexual intercourse a couple of dates later. did she just want sex? how can u ...
A. 7 November 2007: I'm guessing she wasn't feeling the usual attraction, that comes from relationships that are more than platonic. Even though she had sex with you, she may have realized afterwards that her feelings of curiosity or fondness for you didn't go deep ... (read in full...)
After my divorce I met a man who made me feel wanted, loved. I'm not in love, just scared of being alone. What do I do?
Q. I am 45 and just divorced my husband whom we've been married for 22 years. Then I met this man 18 years older than me. He made me feel wanted. We've been together for 6 months now. But now I realise I am not in love with him. He told me he has ...
A. 7 November 2007: I think you should be straight with this new man you've been seeing. Tell him exactly what you've told us, that you enjoy his company and hope to continue to spend time with him, but you're not in love with him, and may never be. Will love develop ... (read in full...)
1 percent of the time he's rude. What shall I do with him?
Q. 25 yrs of marriage need urgent advice. My husband has always been impatient but not in a really bad way. Rare occasions evry 5 yrs he has fallen out with someone he disagreed with or been rude to a friend. He won't socialise very well with people h...
A. 11 October 2007: Have you talked to him about his rudeness and if so, what does he say? Does he make excuses, tell you it's all in your head, or does he realize he comes off this way? It could be that he's always lacked good social skills but they've gotten worse ... (read in full...)
The pleasure is in the giving - right?
Q. My wife and I are going on three years of marriage. We have a healthy sex life, and are happily married. I really want her to give me a blowjob more often, but I don't know how to bring it up to her. I enjoy going down on her and do it fairly ...
A. 11 October 2007: Two things come to mind. One, make sure you've showered beforehand and I don't mean 8 hours ago. I mean fresh. I used to see a guy who would shower at 6:00 AM before going to work, and not understand why I was turned off by him sexually at 10:00 ... (read in full...)
Am I being silly?
Q. Hi My names rebecca and my boyfriend works long hours. I need some help and advice as I feel very down. I am a very jealous person and always have been. I am worried as my boyfriend is going on a team building evening bowling and dinner with all...
A. 11 October 2007: Ask him if spouses and significant "others" are invited to attend this bowling event. Tell him you want to go and cheer on his team. He may be happy to have you there and you can keep an eye on things while you're at it. Besides, you may end up ... (read in full...)
After dating me for 4 months he says he is married! What should I do with him?
Q. My boyfriend just told me he is married after dating me for 4 months he said he didn't tell me because he did not want to lose me. He feels that if I knew I would leave him. What should I do with him. Keep him or throw him to the curb??...
A. 11 October 2007: Throw him to the curb.... (read in full...)
How can I keep him happy?
Q. how can i save my relationship he seems to get distant then all swwet and cuddly and stuff you know what i mean how do i " freeze " him in the happy side or just simply keep him happy ...
A. 11 October 2007: Everyone has their moods. Sometimes we feel happy about life, and in the mood to cuddle and be sweet with someone. Other times, we are stressed out by problems at work, or money concerns, or family issues. It can cause someone to seem distant ... (read in full...)
All we seem to do when we're together is argue! Should I stick with or move on?
Q. My boyfrind has very demanding job which means he has to travel alot. when we r together all we seem to do is argue. I want to know if its work that is our problem or if its something deeper. we had an arguemnt the other day that culminated in the ...
A. 9 October 2007: I think all couples argue and fight pretty frequently, but what you have to ask yourself, is WHAT are you fighting about? Perhaps what's at the root of all these fights, is your lack of time together which will eventually erode a relationship down ... (read in full...)
Can a man be "raped" by a woman?
Q. I would like to know if it is possible for a man to have sex with a woman against his will?...
A. 9 October 2007: I don't think so. When my b/f isn't in the mood for sex, no amount of prancing, dancing or stroking gets him motivated for an erection. It just doesn't happen. On the other hand, if he is in the mood for sex, I pretty much don't have to do a ... (read in full...)
Will I always be this miserable?
Q. When will my heart heal? I promised myself long before my girlfriend of 2 years split with me that I would never allow myself to become depressed... But I think that is what's happening, and it just doesn't seem right. It's been almost 3 1/2 mo...
A. 9 October 2007: I think you are battling some form of mild depression, which is common after a break up. Since your ex and alot of your friends have all gone of to University, have you considered doing the same, but not necessarily attending the same school she is ... (read in full...)
Does he want a 'babysitter' or a relationship?
Q. Hi, I met a guy through dating website. 3 weeks ago... I'm 40, divorced 5yrs with 2 children, only had 1 other partner for a couple of years which ended earlier this year. 1st 2 dates were fab and very intense. He has 2 ex's with 3 child...
A. 9 October 2007: I might introduce my kids to a new man at the 3 wk. point, but I wouldn't try to incorporate them into the relationship this soon. Kids can form attachments easily when thrown into social settings like this, especially when their own mother/father ... (read in full...)
I'm a mixed-up kid. Can anyone help me?
Q. help me!!!!!!!!!!! i am 17 and been going out with my boyfriend for three years he is now 19. recently i really cant stick him. when he comes round i just cant even look at him or even speak to him, it has also affected the bedroom life all i want t...
A. 9 October 2007: It's probably time to end this relationship and give yourself a chance to see what else is out there. You're awfully young to be tied to the same young man for 3 years. As you have grown up, you have simply outgrown your need for this guy. Rarely ... (read in full...)
Am I normal? I don't feel it!
Q. Why the heck am I still stuck on my ex BF. He has moved on with a new girl, I am also in a reationship. I broke it off with him. When he wants to come back, I tell him no, yet when he is with someone else, I want him. Is this normal, I don't fe...
A. 9 October 2007: Sometimes we break up with people that we still love. We just know for whatever the reason, the relationship is not going to work out. Some personalities never mesh. Some behaviors will not change. Some people are just bad together, but you ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about his past? I'm worried his ex was better in bed and also that he may cheat!
Q. I am in a rship with a perfect man (sweet, honest, goodlooking, great in bed, etc ec). We've been together for almost 4 years now... we are both young, in our second year of university, but we started dating in high school when we were 16. Over t...
A. 4 October 2007: Number one, most girls in the age category of 14, or 15 yrs. old (his first g/f's age) are hardly "experiened" in bedroom. Trust me, she was fumbling her way, just like you were in the beginning. Number two, he dumped her for you. So obviously he ... (read in full...)
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