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Am I a lesbian because I like masturbating more than sex?

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Question - (18 March 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2011)
A female Zimbabwe age 30-35, *udzi writes:

hey guys,i enjoy mastabation more than sex,i have never reached orgasm during sex,when mastabating it only take me few minutes 2 reach orgasm is it normal,am i a lesbian??

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A female reader, kudzi Zimbabwe +, writes (20 March 2011):

kudzi is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanx guys for all your input i realy appreciate it am not attracted 2 women i lyke guys,but this whole thing was confusing me,i always lie 2 my partner that i reached orgasm how can i tell him without hurting his feelings..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011):

No. Being a lesbian means that you love WOMEN instead of men sexually and emotionally. It means you have ONLY intimate relations with women, not with any men. So just because you enjoy masturbation does not mean you are a lesbian. I don't blame you. Lots of women say men are no good in bed. I am a lesbian and I KNOW women are GREAT in bed. I love them. I am not into men. If you are interested in women, have some sexual encounters with different ones and you will know. If that idea doesn't interest you, then no, you're not a lesbian. You need a partner of the same sex to even be considered as gay. It has nothing to do with touching yourself. If THAT were the case, then ALL MEN would be called gay!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (18 March 2011):

chigirl agony auntWhat do you think a lesbian is? A lesbian is not determined by how she orgasms or what she enjoys in sex. Being homosexual is related to your sexual orientation, not the way you have sex. It depends on what gender you are attracted to!

Do you like boys or girls basically. That's all there is to it. Several straight guys love ass-play, and several straight women like to masturbate and can only get off from masturbation. Then again several homosexual women enjoy penetration... It's really not about WHAT you do in bed, but WHO you do it with!

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A female reader, sunrise317 United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2011):

You are not a lesbian I am exactley like you many women are they are more comfortable with them selves than with another person when I have sex I dont really feel that turned on so I decided to buy some products to use with my partner I feel so relaxed and comfortable that I actually like them both now

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (18 March 2011):

Sandman agony auntIn short, no, you are not a lesbian.

Many women find that it is more difficult to reach orgasm through penetrative sex rather than manual manipulation (masturbation). You seem to have found that you can reach orgasm easier this way also.

It is important to note that during sex, it's good to let your partner know what feels good and what isn't working. This may help you to be stimulated in the correct ways for you in order to reach orgasm. Of course, some women debate needing to tell a man what to do - but if he isn't "getting it" through the subtle hints via moans and whimpers, then telling him what's feeling good might help.

Hope this helps.

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