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I don't think I've had an Orgasm yet. But what can I do about my more urgent problem? During and after sex? Help!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Health, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 21 yo girl and do not think i have ever had the big O.

When my boyfriend goes down on me i often always have the sensation of peeing when i do not have to or have nothing to pee out. However, I have a had an accident or two when the "pee" actually was pee. How can i tell whether what i am feeling is pee or not before its too late and is this normal? It is quite mortifying.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (31 May 2012):

person12345 agony auntMake sure to pee before and after sex (the latter so you won't get an infection). If you've peed beforehand and you do "pee" during stimulation, it's not pee, you are ejaculating. It's actually not really tied to orgasm. It usually happens around when you have one, but often it happens alone too. I've had this happen several times and sometimes it does smell a little urine-like because it comes out of the same place. But it's not actually urine. Just put some towels down. Many guys find "squirting" to be a serious turn on. Pretty much every sex partner I've had has asked if I can do it.

You really need to masturbate to have an orgasm. I don't know any women (I'm sure they exist but I've never met one) who didn't have her first orgasm from masturbation. You need to know your own body before you can teach him to. Put down some towels so you can be certain there won't be a mess and try to relax.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 May 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI always pee right before we have sex... (and right after too to help prevent infections)

if you know you peed before hand then your bladder is empty and you can relax.... also putting a towel down under you (or a pee (bed) pad that you can get at the pharmacy (large blue pads that they use in the hospital for under your butt to prevent having to change the sheets 4 or 5 times a day) will help relax you...

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A male reader, Sandman United States +, writes (31 May 2012):

Sandman agony auntTry masturbating (if you don't) to orgasm to learn what the sensations are for you. Being alone will help you find out how your body acts and reacts to sexual stimulation. This should help you relax when with your partner to allow him to bring you to orgasm.

Another thing is; was it actually "pee" that came out? You didnt mention it smelling like urine which is very distinct. Some women can "ejaculate" when the achieve orgasm. This phenomenon has been mired in controversy because many believe its urine while others swear it isn't. It is possible you are one of those women that ejaculate or "squirt" when reaching orgasm (since women who ejaculate say it feels like the urge to pee).

Do a search on your favorite browser to look up this topic. It might prove helpful for you.

Hope this helps.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (31 May 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntBefore you engage in any sexual activity always make sure that you go to the toilet before hand to empty your bladder. Also when this sensation comes on just make sure you use your kegel muscles to hold it in so you do not have any accidents.

As for having an orgasm, the clitioris is where should be stimulated. So maybe you could try this alone to see if you can reach orgasm yourself. Then you will be able to tell your man what works for you.

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