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Been away from the site for a while...but I felt like jumping back in. Hopefully my advice now is more helpful than it was a year ago! PM's, friend requests are all welcome.
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| Latest articles: Points to ponder on advise against teenage sex
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 March 2009: Out of curiosity, I was recently browsing through the advice I had given in the past 9 odd months I've been on this website. What struck me is how much "stern" I seem to be when giving advice to teenagers under 18 about sex. I frequently adv...
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I don't seem to be quite a normal shape "down there". Will guys have a problem with this?
Q. My vagina, a lot like a handful of other girls has large lips. I have been reading all of the answers saying 'oh! its no problem!' and i soon became fine with them. But i also have another problem. The hood on my clitorous seems a lot larger them ...
A. 20 July 2008: Men probably will not notice, so I wouldn't get too wound up about it!
It's the same with a man who gets worried whether his penis is too big, too small, too thick or too thin, yet when involved in a sexual situation it's irrelevant as the euph... (read in full...)
Can I love him even though it's over the internet and he's older?
Q. I pretty sure I'm in love with an amazing guy I know from the internet, he is three years older then me, and I always have to reasure him it doesn't matter how old he is because three years is nothing really. The question is, can I love him? Id it ...
A. 19 July 2008: Do be careful about online dating...especially at your age.
Peadophiles and other nasty people make stuff up to lure kids into love/relationships/sex.
I would inform your parents that you are in contact with this person...not so they can keep... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to stop having sex and says other guys are hot. Is she going to break up with me?
Q. I think my girlfriend of 6 months ( were both 18) is going to breakup with me soon but she claims she doesnt want to. I dont know if this girl is a person who is good for me. I feel like I love her and she claims the same about me but she just makes ...
A. 19 July 2008: Everything Frank says.
Find someone who you share a bond with; emotionally and sexually.
Because it certainly isn't with this girl.
You deserve better!!... (read in full...)
My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped in front of me on two occasions. Do I tell her mother?
Q. My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped naked in front of me on two occassions and i am confused as to tell her mother or not....
A. 19 July 2008: OK so I'll apologise for initially thinking you may be at fault, but when you write "My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped naked in front of me on two occassions and i am confused as to tell her mother or not." it's understandable some ... (read in full...)
My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped in front of me on two occasions. Do I tell her mother?
Q. My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped naked in front of me on two occassions and i am confused as to tell her mother or not....
A. 18 July 2008: No-one is saying you coerced her.
People are asking how you allowed it to happen more than once.... (read in full...)
My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped in front of me on two occasions. Do I tell her mother?
Q. My partners 16 year old daughter has stripped naked in front of me on two occassions and i am confused as to tell her mother or not....
A. 18 July 2008: How can you be confused?!
How come you have never stopped her?... (read in full...)
Can I wear a purity ring if I'm a born again virgin?
Q. Ok so I'm about to be 21 years old here in the next few months and one thing has been buggin me. I am not a virgin havent been since i was 15. Now I've only slept with 2 guys my whole life but the second guy I slept with i really didnt want to sleep ...
A. 18 July 2008: Once you have lost your virginity...well, that's it isn't it? God/Buddha/Ganesha can't do anything for you now lol.
Nearly 21 and slept with 2 people....well, it could be worse couldn't it?
The anon poster is right, "You cannot change the past,... (read in full...)
More experienced than I am, and loves rough sex, never compliments me after sex, as I do her, instead, I asked a stupid question, and she bragged about her former partners, now I am a little depressed, please help?
Q. Man o man, I am such a mess... I'm not even sure if this even something valid to be upset about, but its like this echoing thought that is pounding my head to death. My gf has had quite a few liaisons, about twice as many as me actually... In which ...
A. 17 July 2008: Sex shouldn't be about fucking hard and fast; that's the porn philosophy...as well the "one night stand casual sex" philospohy.
Sex within a relationship should be about a mutual bond between each other; where you learn how to please your partner ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sometimes calls me fat, which makes me cry, and brings out my insecurities, I am driving him away, what can I do to build my self-esteem?
Q. I am currently in a relationship with an amazing guy. I would do anything for him and I think he would do anything for me, problem is I think I could be pushing him away. We have been in a relationship for a year and a half and I can honestly say...
A. 17 July 2008: Thinks you're gorgeous...but calls you fat?
You would do anything for him but you only *think* he would do anything for you?
Personally, he sounds like a player.
Get rid.... (read in full...)
Small spots on my penis for a few months - but now there's a HUGE one!
Q. ok, it may not be to much worry but im not sure. for about 6-7month now i have been having between 1 and 2 spot like things on my penis. they went away after a couple week - month but now i have one again only this one is huge it is on t...
A. 17 July 2008: I'm no doctor, but I am sure squeezing won't help.
It's common for people to have a reaction to condoms.
Do what Smiles say...see the GP.
... (read in full...)
My Virgin Bride was not a Virgin. How do I cope?
Q. Hi, like many other guys I have a problem with my wifes past. I met her 25 years ago, she was 17 and I was 19. we hit it off right from the start and fell in love. we now have 2 kids aged 10 and 12. Every thing was fine until I asked her...
A. 17 July 2008: Well by your definition of cheating, a lot of people in the world have been cheated on then!
So she told a lie (which is of course usually bad) but come on, you are seriously willing to jeopardise 25 years of what sounds like a happy marriage... (read in full...)
Could I go out with a younger guy?
Q. Hiya, Theres this guy i work with and well lately we've been talking a lot and getting quite close. Hes such a nice guy and were getting along so well. The thing is.. hes 17, 18 next april and i'm 18, 19 in two months. People keep saying you c...
A. 17 July 2008: Of course you can go out him!
Anyone who says he is too young is an idiot. Ignore them.
Go for it!
... (read in full...)
In a relationship with a drunk violent woman...
Q. My wife and I have been married for a little over 13 years. We have one child together (Daughter 13), and her son (16) whom I have raised as my own since he was 5. Thats another story. I knew she drank when we met, so did I. We were young, I was in ...
A. 17 July 2008: Your kids should be the priority here. Kids who see a parent who is aggressive can harm them mentally, so you should think about them when deciding what to do.
You should leave, but you need to be sure that if you do your children go with you... (read in full...)
Do women like watching porn? Can they get addicted?
Q. Do women be addicted to porn and how do they fill when watching all the dirty action?please I prefer answers from female readers only....
A. 17 July 2008: Well an ex-girlfriend of mine lo....oh, you said female only.... (read in full...)
What age do you start having sex?
Q. what age do you start having sex...
A. 17 July 2008: You start having sex when you find someone who you share a mutual passionate connection with. Then you can start having fulfiling, meaningful sex.
Any other sexual encounter is usually, although not always, worthless.
To answer your question in... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm wasting away. I feel like I'm the one wearing the pants, not him. But I feel I have to ask him permission to see my friends!
Q. Hello. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 24. We've lived at his MOMs house for 3years. This guy hugs me everyday, at least 20times a day..so it seems. It annoys me cause we live together and I see him when I get home from work and on my off days. This guy ...
A. 16 July 2008: This guy is clearly smothering you.
If he is keeping tracks on you i.e. asking where you are, what you're doing etc then he shouldn't be. Of course you should be able to go with friends or whoever and not have to feel like you have to ask permissi... (read in full...)
At 21, I've never had a boyfriend. What's wrong with me?
Q. I'm nearly 21. I've never had a boyfriend, and I haven't had so much as a kiss in almost four years. I've went through my degree without going for a single proper night out, and the (very) few times someone's shown interest in me, I feel terrified ...
A. 16 July 2008: Nothing's wrong with you.
You're only 21...life's not over!
I had a similar experience to you at the start of Uni...I was *very* shy and hardly ever went out. But quickly I realised that you just you have to go out there...whether ... (read in full...)
I just want to kiss him but stay safe.... can I catch his STI?
Q. ok im 13 and i like this boy and he is 14. He's not a virgin and i am. He wants to have sex with me but im not losing my virginity at this age because im too young. There's only one problem i think he has clamidia because that's what everyone is ...
A. 16 July 2008: This lad ain't worth your time. 14 and he's not a virgin? That's not a type of lad you want to go out with.... (read in full...)
Did he get angry because he didn't have sex with her and felt he had wasted his time?
Q. My daughter has just asked me advice but living in a different age cant help her really - so can you please? She has just returned from a holiday with a friend of hers. She met a young man who wanted sex but she held back which is very admirabl...
A. 16 July 2008: Disclaimer: This is my view...
He humiliated your daughter, now sends e-mails saying he doesn't want a relationship?
So...why is he contacting her then?
As I say it is my view but it sounds like he justs wants sex with your daughter; and ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex or not?
Q. Could you try and help plz me and this boy are on about having sex i dont know wether i should go on with it or not hes a lovley boy and i do like him its just i think im a bit scared as we will be doing it outside (probably in a bush) it will also ...
A. 16 July 2008: Sex outside in a bush will be a horrendous experience, I can tell you that now. The experience will likely put you off sex for some time if you go through with it...as well as feeling used, and the possiblilty of unwanted pregnancy, diseases, ... (read in full...)
I am a 27 year old virgin, when I date men and they find out, they back off, thinking something is wrong, what do I do to combat this?
Q. Hello everyone. I don't know how to write what I want to without sounding like a complete loser. lol. Well, the thing is that till date, I have had only short-term relationships, the longest of which was perhaps 4 months. And because I did...
A. 16 July 2008: I have said it before, and I'll say it again...
You need to put yourself out there in places that interest you! Join clubs that do activities that you enjoy doing...that way you stand more chance of meeting a man who shares your interest... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want sex, but does watch porn!
Q. Well me and my husband have almost been married a year and I'm having problems with our sex life... There was a problem with porn before we got married and I made him promise that he wouldn't watch it after we got married, and of course he promised. ...
A. 16 July 2008: Firstly, most men will always watch porn; whether he is in a relationship or not. It's a fact. You are unlikely ever going to break a guys habit from watching porn. Right or wrong, that's the way it is.
But it doesn't usually affect a mans des... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to be this emotionally involved at our age? Can it work?
Q. Hello, I need some advice. I am fifteen and my boyfriend is fourteen, and yes, I realize we are way too young to be in a relationship. However, we're not having sex, doing drugs, partying, etc. etc. He's a pretty decent guy, I've known him f...
A. 16 July 2008: Hello there...
You are not too young to be in a relationship. And you and your boyfriend seem like very mature people for your age. A physical relationship at your age is a different matter...but you say your boyfriend never pressures you for sex;... (read in full...)
Could he have lied to me about being a virgin?
Q. hi everyone, well my boyfriend and i already lost our virginity to eachother, i have heard from friends that girls arent the only ones who go thru the pain at that process... my boyfriend didnt go thru any pain but i did ALOT!!! i think the only ...
A. 16 July 2008: Hey...
Men typically don't feel pain during sex; first time or otherwise.
However, women usually suffer pain during (and after) their first sexual encounter and seen as you were a virgin it is no surprise that you felt pain.
Whether your bo... (read in full...)
I'm 25 and a virgin... But I want to lose my virginity to another virgin.
Q. I'm a 25 yr old male and I'm a virgin. I'm horribly shy towards women but on top of it all I want another virgin. It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack to find a virgin that I even like. I only have a certin taste and if it's anything less ...
A. 16 July 2008: "I just don't trust any woman that has had sex before"
That is extremely jugdemental, and probably why you are getting nowhere. Personally I have never understood what the problem is about finding a partner that has already had sex;
I underst... (read in full...)
Wanted to share this joke with everyone, does anyone find it as funny as I do?
Q. A duck walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No" Duck says: "Got any Bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread." Duck says: "Got any bread" Barman says: "No, ...
A. 16 July 2008: That is funny!
Consider that joke stolen :-)... (read in full...)
In a long distance relationship, I loved him, he cheated on me, and verbally abused me, I fell out of love, he moved close to me, I want to break up completely, he has no one here but me, should I break up and when ?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship. I live in Wales while my boyfriend lives in London (he is at university). I don't think our relationship has a future. We are on a break because he cheated on me and lied to me and abused me verbally, and on...
A. 16 July 2008: Only you can know if you want to break up with him...but if you do, don't be concerned about how he lives alone...he cheated and lied to you rememeber!!...so don't feel guilty about leaving him!!
Can you continue to trust him when he is away at ... (read in full...)
Fallen for an older guy. Could it happen?
Q. Hi everyone. I have an issue and i think i could use some feedback, and i'd also like some advice from men. I'm 17 and working at a radio station this summer, where i met a man with whom i work together with and i'm very attracted to. We spend a lot ...
A. 15 July 2008: Hey...
Now what I'm about to say doesn't mean that this guy is like this, and nor am I implying it, but you did ask "Would a man his age notice a girl my age?"
Typically, some men choose younger girls because the man feels that they are easier ... (read in full...)
Sex it over in minutes! How can I delay his excitement?
Q. My Bf always gets too excited during foreplay that the sex is over within minutes and tips on how i pospone his excitement so we can 'go' for longer?...
A. 15 July 2008: Take things slowly!
Don't rush foreplay or he is bound too get excited and climax too quickly. Though actual sex is probably the cause for the sex being over quickly and not the foreplay.
With sex, I don't if he does but encourage him to... (read in full...)
I'm finding myself physically attracted to other men. I don't know what I want to do.
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we are pretty happy together with the exception of regular fights..However i don't seem to be as physically attracted to him as i always have been and lately find myself feeling attracted ...
A. 15 July 2008: "regular fights?"
All couples have their moments of disagreement, but regular fight? Umm.
All I can say is that if I was in your shoes I would look for someone else. Only you can know if you really love your boyfriend.
From what you writ... (read in full...)
I'm looking after my younger sisters and brother while my mum is ill, and I need some tips.
Q. this is nothing to do with relationships or anything but i need a bit of advice, my mum has been ill for the past few weeks, she has been in and out of hospital and is unable to do much. this means i have been looking after my younger sisters and ...
A. 15 July 2008: Firstly, you are a star for taking on all these tasks by yourself! I can't imagine many other teenagers (especially British ones...) undertaking the tasks you're doing!
But in all seriousness, you are a too young to be undertaking the supervis... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my best friend...so should I tell her?
Q. My and a close friends have known each other for quite sometime and we love being around each other and talking. I believe I may have feelings for her but I'm afraid she doesn't feel the same way about me. And I don't want to freak her out, I just ...
A. 15 July 2008: You don't need to freak her out, just ask to take her to social places like cinemas or take her for a relaxed drink in the summer sunset or something then you can tell her in a friendly atmosphere.
Cliches I know, but they're things that work.
... (read in full...)
I need ideas for my boyfriend's birthday!
Q. My boyfriends 28th birthday is coming up at the end of august and I want to plan something special for him. We have been dating for almost 3 years (in October) and for my 22nd birthday in june he planned a trip to nyc. The only idea I have so far is ...
A. 15 July 2008: A Ferrari perhaps ;-)
Haven't you answered you own question?..."he LOVES the yankees, golf, cars, beaches, and places with scenic views"
And after listing all them you still can't think of anything!
A scenic break by the sea with a golf c... (read in full...)
Young People Having Sex
Q. Does anybody else find it as ridiculous as I the age people nowadays are losing their virginity? I am sixteen and have no intention of having sex while I'm still a teenager. It saddens me whenever I hear of girls (and guys) my age running off toge...
A. 15 July 2008: It is frustrating to see that the main issues some 13 year old girls have when they post questions on here are things like "how do I give oral sex?" or "he wants to finger me" or "I think I might be pregnant!"
It's so depressing. By 18/19 people c... (read in full...)
Want to find out how you would act in a relationship, take this test.
Q. After reading all these articles I decided to throw this in there too! I was given this test by a "relationship theropist" LOL yes that title does exist! However it was interesting to see just which one you pick....... Read the question, don't ...
A. 15 July 2008: I picked Horse.
Primarily because you can ride on a horse to take take you places once the flood has subsided...you can't ride on the back of a Peacock!... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to him? I don't know if I want to.
Q. my boyfriend loves me (and i know he does) and i love him too, i'ts just, he is not a virgin, but i am. He wants to have sex, but i dont know if i want to tho. I dont know if he wants me for my body or for me. I just dont know if i should give my ...
A. 15 July 2008: There are some issues here that are slightly disturbing.
Firsty, you are *extremely* young to be thinking about engaging in sexual activity. Sex is an activity that you should only really be thinking about towards the end of your teenage years, a... (read in full...)
I often wonder why I can't seem to find the right man. In a few years I'll be too old to become a new mother.
Q. I am a twenty nine year old nurse and mother of a 7 year old son whom I just adore! I have a lot going for me including looks, intelligence, and witt. I often wonder why i can't seem to find the right man. I would love to someday get married to the ...
A. 15 July 2008: Relax, you're only 29...life's not over!
If you want to meet your ideal man you have to put yourself out there -- go places that interest you; join clubs that do activities you enjoy doing; these are places where you will have a bigger chance o... (read in full...)
When we hold hands, our hands get sweaty, any way to stop it?
Q. Hi everyone. Now this might seem like an odd question, but id be grateful for any replies. When me and my gf hold hands,it gets sweaty real quick.Is this normal? and is there anyway to stop it? Thanks...
A. 15 July 2008: Lol gloves?!
Don't be stupid lol.
It's probably nervousness. But it doesn't have to be awkward, you can always make light of it, after all you're in a relationship together.
Relax!
... (read in full...)
How can I cope with putting my cat down? She's like a part of the family.
Q. I know this probably isn't about relationships per se... It's about my cat. In my family, we just adore her! She's been with us for 9 years, almost 10, almost half of my life (I'm turning 20 in a few months)... Well, she's old now. And she's...
A. 14 July 2008: It's not crazy. It's common for people to become attatched to pets, after all that's why people have them.
We have a cat that is 14 years old and while he is fine at the moment, I know there will be a time when he will need to be put to sleep; s... (read in full...)
He was giving me every single signal that he fancied me and even my friends picked up on it, I told him I liked him and he's gone into hibernation!! Why?!
Q. ok guys what do you think of this: you went out with someone about a 2 years ago, split up(his choice) but remain good mates. But you have always had the feeling he still likes you--even more so recently because he is: making lingering eye contact ...
A. 14 July 2008: I'm a guy and you've confused me!
It's strange that he is acting this way; especially seen as you have already been out with him; usually it is easier for "old flames" to re-kindle because of exactly that; there were once flames.
You could und... (read in full...)
Is she embarrassed by my age?
Q. Hello to you, I've been seeing my girlfriend for a year on Tuesday. I love her with all my heart and soul. The thing is, I've just turned 19 and but my girlfriend 34. She has been divorced for 4 years and has two children. A boy whose 12 and...
A. 14 July 2008: You simply need to ask her yourself.
You could interpret her actions in a number of ways; she could be embarrassed; or she could be protecting you from her friends and family who may give you a hard time because they take offence to you going ou... (read in full...)
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