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| Latest articles: Points to ponder on advise against teenage sex
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 March 2009: Out of curiosity, I was recently browsing through the advice I had given in the past 9 odd months I've been on this website. What struck me is how much "stern" I seem to be when giving advice to teenagers under 18 about sex. I frequently adv...
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My friend's a bit of a player so how do I not become a temptation to him?
Q. This seems to be a theme but I feel like I've lost my mind. I'm finally away from home and have gotten involved at the uni. I've befriended many of my band members. And then there's M. M is a year older than I am and is a huge flirt, with ever...
A. 13 September 2008: Well if he has good flirting skills you may just get taken in without realising it ;-)
... (read in full...)
My friend's a bit of a player so how do I not become a temptation to him?
Q. This seems to be a theme but I feel like I've lost my mind. I'm finally away from home and have gotten involved at the uni. I've befriended many of my band members. And then there's M. M is a year older than I am and is a huge flirt, with ever...
A. 12 September 2008: Uh oh...lose the crush pronto or you'll be next!
Yep, he's a player alright.
"2) Last year, M had a fling (although a very serious one) with another one of my friends, who is (and was at the time) engaged."
You shouldn't really be aski... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend but says she would rather be with me. Why doesn't she break up with him and should I wait?
Q. I have known this girl for about 5 years. and we are really good friends. She has had boyfriends on and off in the time that i've known her but i've never thought to ask her out. I have been spending alot of time with her lately and we've been ...
A. 12 September 2008: Personally I would say let it go.
If she loved you she would dump her boyfriend. Add to the fact that she has had many boyfriends in her past...well the signs are ominous.
In some ways I know how you feel...I used to completely fancy a girl tha... (read in full...)
He had a problem with my past and dumped me! I have lost my first love... help me!
Q. I lost my first love. He dumped me like that. It was an on/off relationship. It would've been perfect hadn't it been because of his problem. He had a problem with my past. He verbally and emotionally abused me. He called me too many names and t...
A. 12 September 2008: "Not many girls would have dedicated themselves so much for a guy."
So why did you? He clearly doesn't deserve you, and if you see him with another girl you should pity that girl who has to put up with what you had to put up with. To be honest, ... (read in full...)
Does the wet patch mean she had an orgasm?
Q. When i have sex with my girlfriend, there is always a wet patch afterwards, and the same when i give her oral. does this mean she had an orgasm?...
A. 12 September 2008: In short; no.
Trust me, you will know when your girlfriend has an orgasm!
Making a woman orgasm if VERY difficult; a lot of women go through life and never have one.
If you want to make her orgasm then it usually involves long and sensit... (read in full...)
This is really making me sad because he told me that "I don't satisfy him".
Q. I have this problem, my significant other always want blow jobs, or anal sex. I've done both before, but anal hurts me, and i dont like the taste when i give him a blow job. This is really making me sad because he told me that "I dont satisfy him"...
A. 12 September 2008: Hi there
"I don't satisfy him"
Quite frankly that's a terrible thing to say to your partner, and it doesn't have the hallmark of a loving relationship.
I think your boyfriend is being unfair to say the least. If anal sex and blow jobs a... (read in full...)
I would like a girlfriend, but I find it so hard to go out meeting people, I seem destined to stay alone forever.
Q. Hi DearCupid I'm having problems at the moment. I always seem to be lonely and on my own. I have always been shy and nervous of people. As such I have issues communicating with people and never know how to talk properly to people. I have never had...
A. 12 September 2008: Hi there
Well I can relate to your situation. I went to Uni to do the same thing...and my experience started off like yours. However I learned that you just have to put yourself out there. How bad are your communication issues with people? ... (read in full...)
Does this mean I'm addicted to masturbation?
Q. Recently i discovered the joy of masterbating and the truth is that it has been great. However, i have been doing it a lot, sometimes 3-4 times a day, and when i have the oppurtunity to do it but it is inappropriate(e.g at home doing work) i find i ...
A. 9 September 2008: BTW I've just seen Kayluh Martini's comment below...of course you can masturbate in a relationship.
That's normal as well.
... (read in full...)
Does this mean I'm addicted to masturbation?
Q. Recently i discovered the joy of masterbating and the truth is that it has been great. However, i have been doing it a lot, sometimes 3-4 times a day, and when i have the oppurtunity to do it but it is inappropriate(e.g at home doing work) i find i ...
A. 9 September 2008: It's totally normal for men to masturbate more than once a day, every day.
It's easy to get distracted by the thought of it sometimes, but as long as you don't start masturbating in public view or something and keep it in your bedroom you shou... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 6 September 2008: Well in the current credit crunch people would be stupid to waste money calling chat lines at £1.50 at minute!
Yeah, the line is difficult to draw. I guess it's a whole range of factors that people try online sex, chat lines etc; curiosit... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 6 September 2008: For me, watching live sex shows and chatting on sex websites online etc. would be a step too far for me; at least in a relationship. I agree it would probably be too personal...as well as probably feeling a little weird...whether a man is in a ... (read in full...)
It's really hard for me to socialize and it's depessing me. Please help me!
Q. Hello. Well, i need help to get my life going. I have hardly any friends and spend most of my time alone in my flat. I've never had a girlfriend (yeah I'm a virgin as well) and in mid-twenties it don't seem right to be this way. I just want life to ...
A. 6 September 2008: You're right, sitting at home alone in your mid-twenties certainly isn't a great situation. Join clubs or go places that interest you. I think it is always better (and easier) to find and have friends that share your interests, rather than just... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 5 September 2008: Befuddled1:
"Is it 100% normal for a man to prefer wanking to a porn movie over having actual real sex?"
Did I say that? No.
Of course men don't prefer wanking over porn to actual sex; but men "wanking to a porn movie" is common and nat... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 5 September 2008: Don't be sorry...it's just frustrating to see so many women seemingly get upset about this sort of thing when actually it's completely 100% normal for most men to do this.
Sometimes it's just so frustrating to write so many replies stating ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend masturbates to porn and then says, "it's not you". Why does he choose this over me?
Q. Hey everyone, I really badly need to get this off my chest (no pun intended). I've been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and when we first got together, things were great. Then I found out he watches porn. One night, I was feeling ill, and...
A. 5 September 2008: Have you browsed this site looking for posts from women posting questions exactly like you are?
There are a lot of pro-porn posters on this site (nice tongue twister) and I'm one of them.
What's your main problem; the porn? Him masturbating? Or... (read in full...)
We want to have sex but I am on the pill and REALLY don't trust it! I dislike condoms, too, thus?
Q. Okay, this is so stupid.. But I've got a new boyfriend, and soon we're going to be having sex soon for the first time, and although I'm on the pill I REALLY don't trust it. (The morning after pill failed on me) I'm assuming they've got different ...
A. 1 September 2008: You should learn to adapt to using and the feeling of a condom.
Sure they reduce a bit of sensation; but it's either losing a bit of sensation but being protected from pregnancy and other infections or being natural but running the risk of pregn... (read in full...)
Age differences - should people's reactions matter?
Q. I am a 34 year old male who has just begun dating a 19 year old female. I love being with her and adore her greatly, she is mature for her years , fun, serious when neccessary and has all the qualities of my ideal woman! However, I am concerned ...
A. 1 September 2008: Age differences don't matter...but the person who you're seeing now is still a teenager, and people have funny feelings about things like that.
That's not to say it won't, or can't work.
In a year when you're 35 she will be 20 which is really ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I wish I could have sex with this boy I really liked! Help!
Q. Hi im 13 and i want sex really badly i dream about it but i wish it was reality. Its always with this boy that i really like. Well i say like, but what i mean is love. I have tried telling him but he blanks me. i had a passionate kiss with him in...
A. 1 September 2008: no problem :-)... (read in full...)
Can you get an STD from giving oral?
Q. Can you contract an STD by giving a blow job?? ...
A. 1 September 2008: That's good news then that you haven't!
"nor do I plan to"
Well, never say never....... (read in full...)
Am I at the right age to father a child? What do you all think?
Q. Hi, What is a right or optimum age to have a baby? I'm 22 and I feel like I'm at a prime age to father a child of my own. My girlfriend (same age) says we are too young and that we should wait. We both work full time so we have regular income a...
A. 1 September 2008: Uncle Phil is right.
There's no doubt you both are old enough to raise a child well -- people much younger than you have had children and done a great job; but it would be better if you both wanted a baby as much as each other, exactly like Unc... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and I wish I could have sex with this boy I really liked! Help!
Q. Hi im 13 and i want sex really badly i dream about it but i wish it was reality. Its always with this boy that i really like. Well i say like, but what i mean is love. I have tried telling him but he blanks me. i had a passionate kiss with him in...
A. 1 September 2008: I think you're asking this question because you know that sex at 13 is not really a good idea...in fact it's a terrible idea.
You're young and full of hormones so I understand your urge...but relax, sex is a terrible and shockingly bad experien... (read in full...)
My sister is dating someone who will clearly use her and she doesn't want to listen to me!
Q. Hello, my sister (who's just turned 16) has just started going out with a lad who is 24. This lad has no real interest in my sister and is clearly trying to get into her pants. He has a history of going out with many girls and having sex with them ...
A. 1 September 2008: I think you can only do what Emily says.
Just talk to her calmly and say what you feel.
Don't try to lecture her in an "older brother" way; just talk to her calmly.
It's all you can do.
Or involve your parents.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Confused about pornography. Is it cheating?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's my first boyfriend and we plan to get married after college. I have never watched porn videos, but as a young girl (9-13 years old) I looked at a lot of pictures of naked women. ...
A. 1 September 2008: "I understand what you're saying, but at the same time I'm scared by the thought of him actually masturbating and coming to something that in a sense doesn't involve me? I mean, I can understand him getting off from me masturbating, but he would ... (read in full...)
Can you get an STD from giving oral?
Q. Can you contract an STD by giving a blow job?? ...
A. 1 September 2008: Yes.
Use a condom or make sure the person you give oral sex to is clean from infection.
But at your age you shouldn't be thinking of this yet...it will likely be terrible.
Though it sounds like this is an after-the-action questio... (read in full...)
Confused about pornography. Is it cheating?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's my first boyfriend and we plan to get married after college. I have never watched porn videos, but as a young girl (9-13 years old) I looked at a lot of pictures of naked women. ...
A. 1 September 2008: I feel stupid now lol....though I have to say I looked at the question asker on both and briefly thought "umm, are they the same person?"
"nah, they can't be."
Well in any case, I think over your two questions there is a wide range of sound a... (read in full...)
Her father died before the wedding and she wants to postpone it. I told her no, but it's causing fights. Help!
Q. My fiance's dad just recently die before our wedding. When I got home she crying her eyes out. After I calm her down she say she to hold off the wedding for a bit. I dont its a great idea cause if we do have to wait another a year to got merried. ...
A. 31 August 2008: Well, it doesn't matter if you don't have two pennies to rub together or you're a multi-millionaire -- the death of a parent is never easy to deal with.
You cannot compare money to the death of a parent -- I would rather lose all my money than los... (read in full...)
Confused about pornography. Is it cheating?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's my first boyfriend and we plan to get married after college. I have never watched porn videos, but as a young girl (9-13 years old) I looked at a lot of pictures of naked women. ...
A. 31 August 2008: Oh and by the way, congrats on planning to get married.
Don't let this little issue prevent you from leading a happy and long-lasting marriage with this person.... (read in full...)
Confused about pornography. Is it cheating?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He's my first boyfriend and we plan to get married after college. I have never watched porn videos, but as a young girl (9-13 years old) I looked at a lot of pictures of naked women. ...
A. 31 August 2008: "dirty thoughts"...?
They are entirely natural thoughts!
There are many posts on this site about pornography, but I think the best one so far is...
http://www.dearcupid.... (read in full...)
Can I fit in at university even if I don't "party hearty"?
Q. Hi. Im due to start university next month and am getting a bit worried. I took a year out before going to university to basically do some work. During that year I feel I have grown up a lot, met a new group of friends, my interests have changed ...
A. 30 August 2008: Hi there...
In my experience at Uni you will make lots of friends whether you go out or not.
If you are living away from home it all depends what sort of flatmates you have; no doubt they will all be friendly (as all people at Uni are), but so... (read in full...)
I don't stay erect for too long during sex
Q. i seem not to be able to stay erect very long during sex, i only last for about 5 minutes or less, when i dont have sex i masterbate at least 3 times a day, what could the problem be??...
A. 30 August 2008: It could be whole a range of factors, from stress through to being nervous.
Going the GP will help you solve the problem and give you a cure for it.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Should I stop masturbating?
Q. Masterbation is the best, but my girlfriend told me to stop because she said that it is like killing millions of babies, and one that could have had a chance to live, should I stop, or should I keep masterbating. she said she would dump me if I ...
A. 30 August 2008: Well, to be brutally honest she is talking nonsense...in more ways than one.
Masturbation is 100% completely normal and practiced by 95% of all people in the whole world, man or woman.
The "killing millions of babies" bit is a completely ridic... (read in full...)
I need major feedback for this job interview I have tomorrow!
Q. Big interview tomorrow ! I need major feedback, please: What are the top things to remember when going into a job interview? Not as an employer, but as a potential employee. ...
A. 30 August 2008: Great!
XD... (read in full...)
I'm 35, single, and still a virgin, but my religion sees sex before marriage as a sin. What can I do?
Q. hi I found this website may be can help in this matter. I am single guy,35 years old.I am still virgin.I am live in uK but i am from Egypt and christian. MY regailion refuse any sex before marriage and in my religion sex before ma...
A. 30 August 2008: Cupidguy, duskyrowe, MuffinGirl and gabberjackranch have all made valid points; the problem is they contradict each other -- something which doesn't help you!
So let's weigh them up.
Firstly, gabberjackranch is correct that you should stick to ... (read in full...)
My dad died and I can't help but hate mum's new boyfriend even though he's a nice man!
Q. My dad died before christmas. My mum and dads relationship before wasnt very good, and my mum has moved on and has found someone else. My mother is now 5 months pregnant. I already have 3 other siblings under the age of 5, and they have all star...
A. 28 August 2008: Hi,
My dad died when I was 10 and it was a terrible experience. Now that is enough to deal with in itself, but add to the fact that your mum has already gotten pregnant again (arguably very quickly); and it can be confusing and something of negat... (read in full...)
I told a serious lie four years ago to make friends, now I'm concerned they'll find out about it!
Q. Okay Basically when i started year 7 i found it hard to make friends. I told a serious lie at the time thinking it would make me more liked and get me more attention. I really regret it now. I am now going into year 11, and my closest friends still ...
A. 28 August 2008: I wouldn't worry about it so much; whatever the lie, it's not the end of the world.
After year 11 you may probably never see many of them again as some will go college, others will get jobs etc. so it doesn't really matter if they find out.
... (read in full...)
Why does he always close his eyes during sex?
Q. my bf of three years always has his eyes closed durring sex,I don't get it . He also has an obsession with internet porn. ...
A. 28 August 2008: Diovan, why can't all women be like you?... (read in full...)
Why does he always close his eyes during sex?
Q. my bf of three years always has his eyes closed durring sex,I don't get it . He also has an obsession with internet porn. ...
A. 28 August 2008: I don't get it either.
Are they always closed? Sometimes during sex us men just close our eyes for a few seconds at a time -- just for some personal "WOW! THIS IS AMAZING!" time.
Now it's all too easy to jump to conclusions, but I don't see ... (read in full...)
All my friends have dates and I am the odd man out
Q. This i pathetic really and i know it shouldn't bother me but it does, suddenly all my friends seem to have boyfriends [and girlfriends] and i'm the only one who hasn't got one, all off them are delieriously happy and i'm really pleased for them...
A. 28 August 2008: "it's ruining my life!" ... life has barely begun for you yet!
Don't worry about this so much at your age -- it's easy to feel like you're somehow missing out; trust me, you're not missing out on much.
Having someone stick their tongue dow... (read in full...)
I cant get over the fact that my older boyfriend has been with so many other women before me!
Q. There is a 5 year age gap between my boyfriend and I, I am 16 and he is 21. We've been together for 7 months and his past has never bothered me until recently; ofcourse he was going to be more experienced than me etc but he's slept with 20 maybe ...
A. 28 August 2008: Alarm bells are ringing here.
It says you're 18-21, but whatever your age, leave him. He just wants to get into your pants. He'll love you and leave you, just like he did with the other girls.
Go and find a lad who respects you. This lad ai... (read in full...)
I need major feedback for this job interview I have tomorrow!
Q. Big interview tomorrow ! I need major feedback, please: What are the top things to remember when going into a job interview? Not as an employer, but as a potential employee. ...
A. 28 August 2008: Oh and don't forget to ask 2 (3 would be pushing it) questions after the interview about your potential role.
I can't think of any relevant ones off-hand, but make them interesting questions (not boring or obvious ones) that would further portray ... (read in full...)
It's been 2 years since I've broke up with my last boyfriend, I feel awfully lonely and crave for good company, any suggestions?
Q. Hi, I'm looking for advice from those who ahve perhaps gone through soemthign similar as I have...basically I feel depressed because I feel I can't find a boyfriend. I even signed up for match.com, but have been disappointed with the service. I ...
A. 28 August 2008: Hi,
Relax.
You're only 23, life's not over! In fact, life has barely begun when you think about how long people are living for these days.
I understand you feel lonely; being on your own can not only be boring, but demoralising. We all lik... (read in full...)
I need major feedback for this job interview I have tomorrow!
Q. Big interview tomorrow ! I need major feedback, please: What are the top things to remember when going into a job interview? Not as an employer, but as a potential employee. ...
A. 28 August 2008: I'll list them because it's easier ;-)
1) Smart clothes
2) Smile :-)
3) No excess make-up, no earrings or any other excess jewellery (appearance counts)
4) No wacky hair styles...
4) Sit up straight with arms in front of you on your lap (not ... (read in full...)
Her father died before the wedding and she wants to postpone it. I told her no, but it's causing fights. Help!
Q. My fiance's dad just recently die before our wedding. When I got home she crying her eyes out. After I calm her down she say she to hold off the wedding for a bit. I dont its a great idea cause if we do have to wait another a year to got merried. ...
A. 28 August 2008: Everything Tisha says is correct.
My dad died when I was 10, and I still grieve his loss now; some 12 years later.
You need to give her time. If you love her then this should be easy for you to do.
You should be comforting her; not argu... (read in full...)
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