A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we are pretty happy together with the exception of regular fights..However i don't seem to be as physically attracted to him as i always have been and lately find myself feeling attracted physically to other men..i don't know what to do, one part of me wants to stay because i love him so much and the other part wants to go out and explore...although i don't want the exploration to me losing him altogether..help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): How about a follow up?
A
male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 "regular fights?"
All couples have their moments of disagreement, but regular fight? Umm.
All I can say is that if I was in your shoes I would look for someone else. Only you can know if you really love your boyfriend.
From what you write though it doesn't sound like you're convinced that you do.
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A
male
reader, mulattoman +, writes (15 July 2008):
 Leaving him over looks is incredibly shallow, so don't take that route. Cheating should never be an option either. Let me get that out first and foremost.
There's nothing you can do. You're human – a sexual being. In my socially class I took this past semester, I was told that 2-3 years marks the part of a relationship where these feelings are normal. Perhaps he let himself go? Perhaps you let yourself go first and he has no motivation to keep himself attractive? Maybe your sex life needs a new spark to it so you become totally into him again.
You honestly can't help the fact that you are attracted to other men. There's no such thing as entering a relationship and all of a sudden you are completely unattracted to everyone else. It is a bit of a concern if you are intentionally going out to seek some one better looking though. Love is only skin deep… so many older and more experience women will tell you that you're a young and foolish girl who thinks looks are more important than love. However, you ARE young... and he should have enough youth in him and more than enough motivation him to be attractive for you.
You need to talk to him (everyone hates hearing that) and voice your concern. If he hears the truth, which is going to hurt him but it's something he needs to hear if he wants to keep you, it will hopefully shed some light that he has to work to keep you. Relationships are always about working to keep your partner. If he is not willing to work for your attraction, you have every right to want something better.
By all means, don't threaten him with something like "If you don't improve your looks I'll cheat or leave you."
That will more than likely cause him to cheat first or just straight up leave you.
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