A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello to you,I've been seeing my girlfriend for a year on Tuesday. I love her with all my heart and soul. The thing is, I've just turned 19 and but my girlfriend 34. She has been divorced for 4 years and has two children. A boy whose 12 and a girl whose 10. I love her so much and I can really see myself spending my life with her. I get on with her kids really well and they like me back. I even get on with her ex. (He loves AFC Bournemouth just like me) I have never ever had a problem with the age gap and never will. But she does. When she goes out with her friends I am never invited and I'm never allowed to see her when she has family round. I'm not possessive in anyway. She's her own women and can do what she wants. But it would be nice meet her family. Is this signs that she has problems with the age gap. Or that she's embarrassed with me? Apart from that, were ace together. Thank you for reading and cheers for listening.P.s Please don't tell me to split up with her. I love her more than anything in the world and I think she's amazing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): I am 33 year old woman who just met a 20 year man. It is early on in the relationship and I haven't told anybody about him but a couple close friends. They all think this is a phase that I will ride out..a fun fling. I don't know where it's going..but I do know I love our conversations and just being with him. He's a great friend.
If I were to bring him around my family it will have to be super super serious. Like this is the "one". Although I wouldn't be "embarrassed" to bring him around..i would worry for him fitting in my age group. Maybe she is trying to protect you..because she doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable because family & friends will question the relationship. Ultimately...it's between you two. You need to talk to her. And if she loves you..and knows how important it is for you to meet them then she shouldn't have a problem. If she does...that means...you is still working on the age difference.
You have to understand..it's a lot harder for the older woman than the younger man in these relationship. She's gonna get judge by "rocking the cradle" ect.ect. Give her time. It's hard...trust me. We don't know what to do with you guys...it's all new.
A
female
reader, JennyMack  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 Be careful! Because of the life stages, my first thought is that a 34 yr old woman divorced with two kids could only have sex in common with a 19 yr old man. I think she might be ashamed of herself not to bring you around her friends and advertise your relationship with the people most important to her. Talk to her about it and let her know what is on your mind. If you have a good relationship, there shouldn't be anything you can't talk about.
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (14 July 2008):
 You simply need to ask her yourself.
You could interpret her actions in a number of ways; she could be embarrassed; or she could be protecting you from her friends and family who may give you a hard time because they take offence to you going out with her.
Because let's face it, not many 34 year old women have a teenage boyfriend...and her friends and family are bound to have an opinion on it...an opinion that she might not want you to hear.
Iit sounds like you both get on well, so you should just be able to ask her. After all, only she can tell you. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 July 2008):
 This is a sign she has problems with the age gap. You could be her son. Rather than fifteen years of age, the difference between you and her is one of stages of life. This relationship of yours is very uneven, and it is absolutely clear that she is in control. She "can do what she wants", you say. What about you? Can you do "what you want"?
Wanting to meet her family doesn't make you possessive or bad. You're in a relationship, aren't you? Ask her why she won't let people know about your relationship. Do her children and ex-husband know you're in a relationship? They should know that, too.
I've been in your shoes. That's why I'm asking you to ask questions. Don't settle for half-answers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): She may have a problem with your age if you have been dating for a year and not met her parents. If she loves you she shouldn't care what other people think. I know you should always care what your family thinks but if I was in that situation and I was But I was the young one, I told my parents they did not aprove at first but got over it. I think if she wants this relationship to work she needs to be honest with herself by telling her family about you. It's cool that you get along with her ex so well you must be very mature for your age. I can tell you I felt that when I was your age that I was ready to be with someone 8 years older than me when I was 19 and he also had 2 kids. It did not work out for me we were together for five years and I was not ready to be a mom. Plus he hit me. I feel I have lost a huge chunk of my early adolescence and I can never get those years back. I'm not telling you to dump her but keep that in mind. I would hate for you to put 4 or 5 years into this relationship and then find it dose not work out and your 25 years old and lost some time of just fooling around and being a kid like I did. I also want to state and I hope you don't take this personaly but women in there 30's are at there sexual peek. That's why you see relationships like this so much anymore. Just look at Demi More and Astion Kucher. Men usally are at there peek in there 20's so I bet you have a great sex life. But there is more to life than sex. Dose she plan to have anymore children in her futher? Do you want kids? These are also things you need to talk about? if you want this to work You need to tell her how you feel. Tell her that she needs to tell her parents about you. In all relationships communication is key. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Secret Teller +, writes (14 July 2008):
 thats great that you love your girlfriend, and i'm postive she loves you back. i don't think your girlfriend is embarrassed by you or your age because if she was she wouldn't let you meet her kids. i think the case here is she don't think her family and friends will except you like she does. she cares alot about you, but she cares alot about her family 2 and she prob thinks that they will get mad at her for going out with suck a young guy, and she doesn't want that kind of hate with her family and friends she loves dearly. give her some time and talk to her about she might give in.
best of luck.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (14 July 2008):
 The thing here is that none of us can read her mind, but you have the advantage to talk to her. Why dont you go and tell her what you're feeling right now about her behavior and ask her why she's doing what she's doing? Sometimes the answer for many questions here is communication, and you have to tell her your thoughts on this.
Now, if you want some other person's opinion about her behavior, I think she feels guilty and probably even unworthy of you. Remember, this is just my opinion, but I think she feels this way because you're a young man full of life and she may think she's taking that from you by you staying with her. I know many women who feel unworthy for the love of their man, and having a young, caring man in her side may make her feel like that. Now, if that's the case, I'm pretty sure you know what to tell her to make her feel better and loved.
It's very clear, even by reading this, that you love this woman. Please talk to her and tell her your feelings and don't judge too hard on her. Be attentive and understanding on her response. Whatever she tells you, just be a loving man with her.
Good luck and I hope this is resolved for you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): I would have to say that is a big "10/4 Good Buddy," as to is she embarrased by the age difference. I won't give you the advice to break up with her (Which, if you did ask, that is what I would suggest....but you said not to say that, so I won't.) Try talking to her, and tell her how much it bothers you. If she loves you, and respects you she will be honest and tell you what is in her heart. Best of luck Buddy Boy
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