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Been away from the site for a while...but I felt like jumping back in. Hopefully my advice now is more helpful than it was a year ago! PM's, friend requests are all welcome.
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| Latest articles: Points to ponder on advise against teenage sex
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 March 2009: Out of curiosity, I was recently browsing through the advice I had given in the past 9 odd months I've been on this website. What struck me is how much "stern" I seem to be when giving advice to teenagers under 18 about sex. I frequently adv...
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I feel I'm going mad ~ scared I'll get into trouble with the law for texting. I have never broken the law, but he did!
Q. This time last year my ex partner and i split up. we had lived together almost 6 years but before i met him i owned my own terrace house, no mortgage - silly me sold it and put the money into the joint house. He met someone else and systematical...
A. 21 August 2008: Hi, only just seen your reply.
He doesn't have any right to do what he has done.
Glad you went to the rape councellor. They're obviously more qualified than me so I think any advice they give about pressing charges is something you sh... (read in full...)
I feel I'm going mad ~ scared I'll get into trouble with the law for texting. I have never broken the law, but he did!
Q. This time last year my ex partner and i split up. we had lived together almost 6 years but before i met him i owned my own terrace house, no mortgage - silly me sold it and put the money into the joint house. He met someone else and systematical...
A. 4 August 2008: Again, I can only go on what you have written; but sex, when you have asked someone to stop -- so non-consensual -- is rape. It doesn't matter if it is violent or abusive; or whether someone is crying and helpless...it is still rape.
Does ... (read in full...)
This guy I know online calls me 2-4 times a day! How do I get him to go away?
Q. Well there's this 17 year old guy who i've been regretably chatting to online, he lives local and is insanely obsessed with me! He knows my phone number and often rings (between 2 - 4 times per day) but i never answer as i don't want to encourage ...
A. 4 August 2008: Block him on MSN (so he can't see you online or message you.) Get your mates to do the same. Above all, ignore him. Get your mates to ignore him. Phone, e-mail; whatever it is, completely blank him and don't respond.
Don't be afraid to involve ... (read in full...)
I'm 18, seeing a 16 year old... is it wrong?
Q. I am 18 and i am seeing a 16 yr old he is 17 soon but my parents think this is wrong and make me look immature. i dont no what to do . we both really like each other. please help me . i cant let go of him . i need to no if i am in the wrong. ...
A. 4 August 2008: Course you're not in the wrong.
It's all legal.
Maybe if you show your parents how happy you both are together then they may begin to accept your choice. You say you both like each other so that should be easy to do.
XD... (read in full...)
I feel I'm going mad ~ scared I'll get into trouble with the law for texting. I have never broken the law, but he did!
Q. This time last year my ex partner and i split up. we had lived together almost 6 years but before i met him i owned my own terrace house, no mortgage - silly me sold it and put the money into the joint house. He met someone else and systematical...
A. 4 August 2008: Did you not think about reporting him to the police for forcing himself on you?
Now I am just going on what you have written, but him "forcing" himself on you is classed as sexual assualt, and if it is in any way penetrative then it is clearly ... (read in full...)
Is that idea a lie? Does that only happen in movies?
Q. Im really worried. I am 15. And all my friends are having sex and bragging about it. I am still a virgin. I really love this girl, so I asked her out. But she said no becuase i was a virgin. She recommended that i go to a prozzie, but i like the ...
A. 4 August 2008: Relax there Sir. "Still" a virgin? You're only 15 for goodness sake. You're underage. Your body isn't fully developed for sex yet.
"i like the idea of my first time being with someone i'm in love with, and we both fall to sleep together and wake... (read in full...)
I feel like everything is going downhill at the moment...
Q. i feel like everything is going downhill for me at the moment. me and my mum keep falling out, and i mean proper massive arguments about stupid things that i have or havent done. and my love life is even worse. if i'm honest, i'm lonely. i h...
A. 3 August 2008: Calm down there. You make it sound like life is already over! Wise Woman.. is right, joins clubs or go places that interest you....that way you stand a better chance of not just meeting new people, but people who share your interests; people... (read in full...)
Men, how exactly are masturbation and 'the real thing' different?
Q. Just wondering how different does masturbating feel comparing to real sex for men. I am not talking about the emotional but strictly the physical aspect of it. Such as the difference in sensation between using a hand and thrusting in a vagina and if ...
A. 3 August 2008: Can't explain how ejaculation feels better when engaged in sex rather than masturbation even though it's the same thing....it just does.
Not all men cheat in a long distance relationship. If he does, then that ain't the man for you.
I am su... (read in full...)
I hate myself for being so thin. I try to out on weight but I just get angry. It's affecting my moods and there for, my relationship. HELP!
Q. hie, i am a 20 year old girl and i hate myself. i am a size 6 and i know some women would love to be but i hate it. i never diet or starve myself i just wont grow. this has resulted in my having a short temper and pushing away my boyfriend who i ...
A. 3 August 2008: Well if you are clinically underweight then you should talk to your GP about it....preferably a female GP who would be able to relate to your situation. Usually you have to exercise (swimming especially) as well as eat, as if you have a fast meta... (read in full...)
Does a man embrace a woman a certain way if he fancies her?
Q. When a man opens his arms to a woman to get/give a hug, what is the best way for her to hug back to test for romantic interest instead of a good-buddy hug? I hate to sound like such a simpleton, but I need to know. Does a man embrace a woman a ...
A. 2 August 2008: I guess it depends if the man is shy or upfront and confident.
Some men may be shy and try not to hug you back too much as it may feel that they are giving themselves away to you that they fancy you...remember not all men want a girl to know tha... (read in full...)
Trouble adapting to a new school and coping with the nasty comments!
Q. hi. ive recently moved from the US to the UK and i started school just a while ago. when i got to school on my first day everyone was friendly and nice however after school the most popular girl in school overheard my mum complaining about how there ...
A. 1 August 2008: Forgot to say, why don't you ask the boyfriend to tell the girl it was all a misunderstanding....him being nice to you can play to your advantage....you can get him to talk to the girl and maybe get her to come around.
Maybe though you don't wa... (read in full...)
Trouble adapting to a new school and coping with the nasty comments!
Q. hi. ive recently moved from the US to the UK and i started school just a while ago. when i got to school on my first day everyone was friendly and nice however after school the most popular girl in school overheard my mum complaining about how there ...
A. 1 August 2008: Don't be put off by these kids.
The UK does have some horrible teenagers...though it does have some of the friendliest.
How sarcastic are they towards you? Usually it may not last long, and when you go back after summer it may all be forgotten... (read in full...)
I'm new to the UK and trying to figure out sexual behaviour here. Any statistics/experiences/advice?
Q. I was just wondering: In the United Kingdom, what is the average sexual behaviour of people? Are the majority of people ok with no strings attached sex, or do most prefer waiting for a relationship? And is it a foreign concept to wait until you ...
A. 31 July 2008: I think it just depends what places and clubs you visit.
Men in nightclubs always come across as usually more "up for" (no pun intened) sex and a one night stand in the UK (not me though...) so I think finding a one night stand with someone ... (read in full...)
It hurts when I masturbate for more than two minutes. Is this normal?
Q. how long do u masterbate for i do it for like 2 mins then it strts hurtn so cnt do it anymore is thisc normal ??...
A. 30 July 2008: There is no set length. For some men masturbation lasts 2 minutes, for others they may make it last sometimes for 30 minutes or more; longer masturation can help reduce premature ejaculation later in life. If it starts to hurt it means you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's watching of porn is beginning to annoy me. What can I do?
Q. iv been with my bf for 2 years nearly now, and from beginning he was watching porn, i didnt mind cos we were just starting, now its annoying and makes me feel he enjoys the pron more than me, iv tried talking to him but he just says im not getting ...
A. 30 July 2008: You will never stop a lad watching porn.
Just browse this site and look at some of the questions posted by women like you who are convinced that their boyfriend watching porn is a problem; and in most cases, it isn't.
Now of course there are... (read in full...)
I'm 14, should I suggest to my girlfriend that we have sex?
Q. i'm 14 and i really feel the need of having sex with my girlfriend (she's 15), though i'm not sure she would want to (they say boys want it more than girls do)...but i really do. i really really love her and its been about a year since we started ...
A. 30 July 2008: It's natural for you to really want sex; you are a teenage lad after all. But you should wait. You're both underage, and while I am sure that you do love her, in the end you are both children; with childrens bodies. Your bodies are not fully... (read in full...)
I can't always maintain an erection-help!
Q. There is a funny situation that makes me feel sometimes worried but last few months sometimes when i have intercourse at the begining my penis is hard but while i start doin it in a minute it becomes softer and i need like to get it out and again ...
A. 30 July 2008: Being scared and being stressed can exacerbate the problem. A GP can help you. ... (read in full...)
What else I can do to please him besides blowjobs?
Q. i have a boyfriend but i dont really know how to please him. all i ever do is give him blowjobs. he doesn't complain but i know he feels something about the situation. i want to know what else i can do to please him besides blowjobs. ...
A. 30 July 2008: "he doesn't complain..." I bet he doesn't. Does he not try to please you in any way? You don't need to be physical with him to please him, you should be doing things together to please the both of you; these don't have to be sex related;... (read in full...)
Out of the blue, my boyfriend needs to think!
Q. I'm in a new relationship (2 months) with a guy and like a fool, I fell in love with him. The funny thing is that my boyfriend fell just as quick. We were happy and enjoyed each others company. We're still getting to know each other and spend 1-2 ...
A. 30 July 2008: You can't put your life on hold because of his "thinking".
You should carry on living your life. Personally, I think he is being slightly selfish; though he could be worried or nervous; perhaps his divorce was stressful and he is thinking about wh... (read in full...)
How do I ask out the girl I never see?
Q. Cupid: I like lady-like women, the kind that are morally absolute and would make a good mother, wife and professionals. This being said, I met this girl in a group situation (several sessions) who was very intelligent and attractive and s...
A. 30 July 2008: The reason you think of her is because she is a mystery to you; the less you see her, the more the mystery around her grows and the more fascinated you become.
Tisha-1 is right, you have built a fantasy around her...precisely because she is myste... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to be attracted to my third cousin?
Q. Ok, so i have a problem that might sound weird.. I like my third cousin, and she likes me. I've never known her until we met a few months ago, our families don't even really know each other its only that my mother is a family genealogy expert...
A. 30 July 2008: I take it she is a blood cousin?...and not because her family at some point married into your extended family?
But if you aren't directly related, I don't see how it can be a problem.
gabberjackranch is right, morally I'm not sure if it is wr... (read in full...)
How can I make more friends and have a fun social life?
Q. Hi, I know I might sound immature saying this, but I'm just frustrated and I wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions. My regular friends never seem to have time for me anymore and I really wnat to amke new ones(not to replace the old ones, but ...
A. 30 July 2008: Hi there...
Well you are certainly on the right lines joining clubs.
Don't think of joining match.com as desperate; you would be surprised how many people have met partners on the internet; a friend of mine met his girlfriend on the net and t... (read in full...)
Thank you DearCupid.org
Q. Hey guys! It's Carrie216 here. I've been on this site now for only a little over a month. But you know what? I am so grateful for it. I've learned valuable lessons from this site that were extremely beneficial. By reading through other articles w...
A. 29 July 2008: You sure are right about opinions.
As long as everyone can acknowledge that other people will have their own opinion then that's fine.
Don't worry about coming across as ignorant; everyone is young at some point...we've all been there!
X... (read in full...)
How can I cope with my terminally ill father?
Q. my dad's going to die within the next year... i don't think i can cope anymore....
A. 26 July 2008: Hello there,
My father died when I was young and, well, the truth is that the fact you know that he is going to die at least takes away the "shock" factor of it....what you need to do now is prepare for it.
As people are rightly pointing... (read in full...)
How can I prepare for my freshman year in college? I don't feel ready!
Q. Hi everyone : ), I ned some really important advice. Im supposed to start my freshman year of college next month but I feel like I'm not ready at all but everyone tells me taking a semester off isn't a great idea. I feel like im not both financia...
A. 26 July 2008: Well, it's a slightly in the future but when I went to University (when I was 19) I took a gap year (or semester off or whatever you call it in the States ;-)) and worked full time for year. And it absolutely prepared me finacially, and ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on finding love and opt for casual sex?
Q. I am 25 and still a virgin. It is not something I am proud of anymore, in fact I find it to be frustrating and a total drag. All my life I tried to find someone special but did not succeed. My body is aching for sex, and I feel like I am missing ...
A. 26 July 2008: No you shouldn't give up searching for love, and you definitely shouldn't have "casual sex" -- the effect could be terrible and make you feel worse about yourself...as Mark25 rightly points out.
"all my life I tried to find someone special"... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I want kinky sex?
Q. I have been dating this guy for bout 3 years and we have really good sex. Always great sex but the thing is i want be be more kinky like being tied up and stuff like that but i dont know how to tell him cuz we have awsome sex and i dont want him to ...
A. 25 July 2008: Glad it worked out ;-)... (read in full...)
What do guys think about when they masturbate?
Q. I'm 25 and I've been married for 5yrs. My husband and I have had many issues over my feelings and his about masturbation. I'm understanding to a point and I would really like to not be a bitch about this but I'm having a hard time coping with some ...
A. 25 July 2008: Well, I can only tell you what I said before, that when men masturbate they don't really think of anything; and I think it's the same for all men.
Some men will of course think of someone or something sometimes. I used to frequently (and still do... (read in full...)
40 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q. Sorry i dont need help just want to share!!! I have had a wonderful day!!!!...
A. 25 July 2008: Tut Uncle Phil, there is no need to ruin her birthday by bringing politics into it...... (read in full...)
Will I grow any more? Can I do anything about it?
Q. I'm 17 is it too late to grow? I'm 5.9 and really wanna be a bit taller I've started the gym and go every week atleast. DO you think i will get any taller? My dads about 6.2 and my mum is about 5.1 ish :S Is there anything i can do b...
A. 24 July 2008: Every man wants to be tall, dark and handsome with broad shoulders.
And then we wake up.
You may grow a bit, but there is nothing you can do to make yourself taller.
You are what you are. Embrace it.
... (read in full...)
Do I choose romance, compatability... or neither?
Q. There's this one girl, and she and I are so compatible that you'd think we were made for each other. We typically have urges to watch, eat, and do the same things at the same time. When we need to work as a team, we're like a well-oiled machine... ...
A. 24 July 2008: Take your pick from two contrasting phrases:
"Great minds think alike" (woman 1)
"Opposites attract" (woman 2)
Don't ask us. Only you can choose!... (read in full...)
I've had sex several times and still no pleasant sensations, why?
Q. what is wrong with me? i've had sex about 7 times and i still haven't felt anything good. my boyfriend is on top and i just lay there. we also tried me on top and him behind me but it hurt for some reason. my cherry is popped so that can't have ...
A. 24 July 2008: Whoa, hang on. Seven times? You're underage, so it's no wonder you're in pain...your body isn't properly developed yet...it's not really ready for a penis being thrusted all the way in.
Long story short; wait a few years until your body is ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I want kinky sex?
Q. I have been dating this guy for bout 3 years and we have really good sex. Always great sex but the thing is i want be be more kinky like being tied up and stuff like that but i dont know how to tell him cuz we have awsome sex and i dont want him to ...
A. 24 July 2008: Well you have to drop hints to him.
Being tied up is a common fetish....you never know, he might be into it too!
If he does agree, then take it slow at first...maybe tie yourself or him (whichever way around you want it ;-)) to the bed maybe...... (read in full...)
What do guys think about when they masturbate?
Q. I'm 25 and I've been married for 5yrs. My husband and I have had many issues over my feelings and his about masturbation. I'm understanding to a point and I would really like to not be a bitch about this but I'm having a hard time coping with some ...
A. 24 July 2008: Men will always masturbate. Whether they're single, in a relationship, married or pending divorce; men will ALWAYS masturbate.
Men just naturally have a high masturabtion rate. It's the way we are. You hear things about how a man is masturba... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend in this complicated teacher/student situation?
Q. Hi I am 17 and have been with my boyfriend for a few months. When I originally started to go out with my boyfriend, i had no intention of being with him for this long. In fact, I was drunk when I first got with him, and in a low mood and I int...
A. 23 July 2008: Everything Spirit Of Iona says.... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and I need some tips! My boyfriend told me he hates it when the girl just lies there!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for over a month now, we both want to have sex, but im a virgin and i reli want a bit of advice on how to make it good for him. hes quite experienced. he said that he hates it wen a girl just lies there so i want to ...
A. 23 July 2008: Well, he could have found a nicer way to say it, but yes, it is a bit demoralising when a man is trying his hardest and the woman just lies there!
In all seriousness though, he should be taking the lead here and teaching you...you cannot be expec... (read in full...)
I am the youngest girl he's ever dated, how can I help make him more comfortable?
Q. Hi just wanting opinions on an 18 year old dating a 23 year old... I don't have a problem with it but my guy (23) seems uncomfortable at times. He has dated girls much older than himself in the past but I am the youngest he has ever dated. How can ...
A. 21 July 2008: You can understand him being uncomfortable -- but my personal opinion is that in a way this is good, because it shows he must have some decency & honesty about him; too many men around his age have girlfriends much younger than you (sometimes under ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this fixation on my idiot ex?
Q. Any advice on getting over a pointless crush before it sabotages future relationships? I still have the hots for a guy (henceforth known as Fail) I was very briefly involved with just over six months ago. Next weekend I have a date with a new ...
A. 21 July 2008: I once had a, well, complete fixation with a girl (McNightmare) when it was clearly never going to work....but I still thought about her a lot.
Cut a long story of lusting after said girl aside, I met someone else who I was actually compatib... (read in full...)
Sick of feeling belittled, any tips for gaining enough independence to at least put the family issues to rest?
Q. I've never had too much interest in friends at any point in my life, or guys, and have only had one person I'd term as a close friend and two boyfriends. Long story short, the friend is disappearing for long periods of time (think in terms of months ...
A. 21 July 2008: Well life is all about risks...and by the sounds of it you're going to have to take one.
Short of a business moving next to your house, you will never get a job in the rural area.
I'm sure that there must be public transport somewhere close ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to conceive. Could I be pregnant now?
Q. Me and my partner have been trying to concieve for the past two months, as i hardly see him, its hard to concieve on that exact day. Last month, we were unlucky as i had my period 3-6th July. Ihave 27 day cycles. i used this website to determin...
A. 20 July 2008: If you are 16-17 then you are *very* young to be trying for a baby!
Are you both *absolutely* sure this is what you want?
A baby is a HUGE responsibility...it is a challenge for most grown adults to raise a baby properly...so it must be extre... (read in full...)
Is it me?
Q. help! i keep all my feelings inside like this week my brother lets call him 'a' had an asthma attack..so my parents attention is put on him. then people who are supposed to be my best friends let call them b and c put stuff in my drink which makes ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hang on, your friends put stuff in your drink?
"Friends?!"
These are not your friends. You don't need to have a go at your parents...you need to TALK to them calmly. It is understandable that they are concerned about your brother....but t... (read in full...)
Is my best friend just assuming I'll go with her to an event? Or should I let a guy take me even though I don't really like him?
Q. My best friend is going to this major event in our city in a weeks time. We always do things together, especially events like this. But the thing is she never invited me. I was out with her the other day at shopping and she ran into lots of her ...
A. 20 July 2008: I think most people have friends who never reciprocate what we do for them; maybe they take you for granted.
Maybe she just expects you to turn up.
Or maybe she thinks you may not to want to go.
Or maybe she doesn't want to go -- but if you... (read in full...)
I don't seem to be quite a normal shape "down there". Will guys have a problem with this?
Q. My vagina, a lot like a handful of other girls has large lips. I have been reading all of the answers saying 'oh! its no problem!' and i soon became fine with them. But i also have another problem. The hood on my clitorous seems a lot larger them ...
A. 20 July 2008: Men probably will not notice, so I wouldn't get too wound up about it!
It's the same with a man who gets worried whether his penis is too big, too small, too thick or too thin, yet when involved in a sexual situation it's irrelevant as the euph... (read in full...)
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