A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I'm about to be 21 years old here in the next few months and one thing has been buggin me. I am not a virgin havent been since i was 15. Now I've only slept with 2 guys my whole life but the second guy I slept with i really didnt want to sleep with him but there was a party and i drank wayyyyyyy to much. I was 18 at the time and havent had any sexual relations with anyone since. I swore to myself that I would not have any until the day I got married because I want to be pure again in Gods eyes... only no matter how much I tell myself I'm doing the right thing I cant stop thinking that it will never be enough. I want to wear a purity ring but I dont know if I can becuase I'm not pure. Can anyone help? I am so confused. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sroclore  +, writes (27 May 2009):
God cant see what u do! christ loves u no matter,what has happened. I use to feel so sad. However we aren't perfect in gods and Jessus eyes ,all human our born as sinners. The greatest glory of all grace is christ died on the cross for us ,to protect us from sins.That's how much he loves u , unconditionally.I use to think ,what an awful regret I made. I am 20 yr! old in a 5yr .relationship,we were going to get married after college.However he lost himself and his relationship ,with Jessus and headed in a wrong direction. Lied to me behind my back ,so off course I ended it with heartache ,but that the consquences of premartial sex. It states in the bible that pain we come ur way. However if u ask for christ hand,say I have made big mistakes Jesus but I want to live for u and in u please forgive me. I felt him in me his warmth and spirt ,it felt so amazing ,im living for him . One of my promises was not going to have till after I get married. I thought to getting that ring,but not symbolizing purity ,however my marriage in a way with Jesus the love I have for him and the blessings he has given me. A promise to god that I may not be pure nor a virgin no longer,but the belief of real love amoung myself ,god body of mine that will stay free from sex till,after I get married. The reason I would wear it,is to let my parent,jesus and new love know my commitment.That should be to urself too! Girl I know how u feel don't feel down ,because Jesus is there to hold u up just take his hand and pray! 3A Purity ring is just a symbol ,humans be pure virgins but also demons sometimes too. Think about a criminal someone that steals,but where a purity ring prays to stay sex free till marriage ! See what I mean =) Yes it's sad ,we lost something but look to Jesus then u feel ,warmth u r loved!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): I definitely believe that you can wear a purity ring if you are a born again virgin and you are committing to stay pure from now on until marriage. It's funny because I stumbled upon this site when I was browsing for a purity ring for myself. I too am not a virgin. I have only been with one guy, and I am going to marry him eventually. However, I still know that in order to serve God the best I can I must have a pure conscience; therefore, that means I must remain pure from here on out until my wedding night if I want to be used by God to the fullest extent. I want to wear a ring to be a daily reminder of purity and my commitment to God and to my future husband. I am not wearing it to look holier than anyone else or to take away any guilt I may feel for giving away my virginity before marriage. It's simply to remind me daily to keep my body, as well my mind and my thoughts pure. God has forgiven me and my boyfriend for being impure. He has washed all of your sins away and paid for them ALL-Past, Present, and Future- if you have accepted Him as your Savior and made Him Lord of your life. Anyway, that's enough really- I could go on forever. Trust God and pray and He will help you to keep your commitment to Him. I am right with you in this battle; it's not going to be easy, but God will be there every step of the way. God bless you and love always in Christ.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): Ok.. soo.. i've been reading these posts and there is only like 2 i agree with.. number one.. first of all there is such a thing as a born again virgin ok.. when u get baptized your a new person because your heart is sincere and you wanna do right in God's eyes.. after you loose your virginity its the same thing..You in your right mind have repented for what you have done.. of course your not a techinical virgin anymore but i think a spiritual one... but God can restore what you've given away with his forgiveness and mercy.. but only with reptenance and a sincere heart. You lost it. but its a lesson learned. thats all. doesnt make you unclean or any less than .. any person. If you want to wear a chastity ring. WEAR IT.. chastity mean abstaining from sexual relations.. as long as you do that from here on out wear it. use it as a reminder of the covenant you took up with God. Don't worry about anybody says.. It's between you and God. no one else. God understands your heart. He understands why you choose to wear it. First of all christianity is about encouragement.. not breaking someone down. I think you should pray about it. And as for " misleading" your future husband..i don't think it will..relationships are built up on honesty. if your honest with him.. theres no way he could be mislead, if your up front and explain to him the reason why u chose to wear the ring. im sure he'll respect you and if he doesn't.. then It wasn't who God inteneded for you to marry. But good luck with your decision..cuz i know i'll need it with mine:). keep your head high.. remember its a covenant between YOU & God... only you two. he knows your heart so don't let other ppl break you down. God bless xoxo
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 The ring would be misleading, your 'future husband' would think you're a virgin when you're not (by his definition).
Also, a ring isn't going to make you feel any better. You'll probably feel worse in fact, since you'll know it's dishonest.
Instead, you need to find a way to forgive yourself what what happened at that party. Don't blame yourself for what he did, you being drunk is no excuse for what sounds like rape.
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A
male
reader, Jagz901  +, writes (18 July 2008):
You wouldnt have known what a fall is unless and until you fall. The best thing is you had fallen and you are up and confident again. That is the essence of being 'Born again'. Live with your principles and you will not regret a single day in your life, when you look back. A purity ring is just a symbol to the world, but your mind and heart are open to the Lord. Ask him for resistance and he will deliver.
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A
male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 Once you have lost your virginity...well, that's it isn't it? God/Buddha/Ganesha can't do anything for you now lol.
Nearly 21 and slept with 2 people....well, it could be worse couldn't it?
The anon poster is right, "You cannot change the past, you can only control your future"
You should look forward to hopefully more fulfilling sexual experiences in future with someone you love...and if you "wait" until marraige then you will at least get some reward from that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): Sorry, I don't agree with the other post...that is, that God knows what you will do and your life is pre-destined. I think that way of thinking lessens a person's ability to be accountable for their actions.
Look, you made some mistakes in your past, right? You have done a few things that you aren't proud of, right? You are human and God knows that you are imperfect. Everyone has, at one point or another, done something they aren't proud of.
You speak about purity...Purity exists in the heart and mind. You are not a sinner or dirty because you had sex. If you want to be pure...make steps to living a conscious and healthy life. Be aware of your actions and the consequences they have. Be aware of how you treat yourself. Be aware of how you treat others.
You should not pretend that you are a virgin. First, it is no ones business what you have done or your current commitment to be celibate. The fact that you had sex does not lessen your faith or worth as a human being.
You cannot change the past, you can only control your future. Work on that and forget about the validation of others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): There's no such thing as a born-again virgin. Once your virginity is gone, it's gone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): I don't know all about the detailed meanings of "purity rings" so I don't know what to tell you.
Somehow I don't believe that your case is the first time this issue has ever come up, either. I would expect there must be some precedent already set about this.
I get the feeling this is cutting into a much deeper issue with you than just proper ring-wearing ettiquette.
As I see it, you don't have virginity. If the full V-status is going to be extended to those who don't hold out, then it's not respecting the sacrifice of those who do hold out.
You've got chastity. That's admirable and that's what you should take pride in. I guess it's not the highest notch if that's how you wanna see it, but it's a much higher notch than most people out there.
Christianity isn't supposed to be about measuring everyone's "notches" in the first place. It's supposed to be a religion based on equality in the eyes of god, and about unlimited forgiveness for those who are repentant.
I don't know where the ring fits into that. I expect a sign like that would be demonstrating what ideas you believe in, not a way of measuring where you rank. If that's not how a Purity Ring is understood to be used then I think the whole thing is a crock in the first place.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): I don't think you should wear a purity ring - you are no longer a virgin, and the ring symbolizes the keeping of physical virginity until marriage. I've never heard of "born again" virgins wearing them. You're a Christian, right? God said in the Bible that he knew you before you were born, that he put you together in your mother's womb. He already knows what will happen in your life, so you were probably destined to lose your virginity before marriage, though it pains you. We all learn from our mistakes - yours will protect you from the promiscuity that teenagers often fall into these days, having lots of partners and ending up seeming "damaged goods" to the guys you might want to marry some day. (Search this site for "her past", and you'll find a lot of men tortured by their lovers' sexual history.)But honey, your mistake was not so big. You've told God what you've done, haven't you? If you pray to him that you made a mistake and you wish to be absolved of your sin, then he will forgive you. In God's eyes, that will make you pure. As for a future husband, my advice is to avoid super religious fundamentalist types as they are too insecure in their own faith to recognise that yours was an honest mistake and you have made your peace with God about it. Look for someone who understands that yours was just a little sin in a world of sins, and that it matters little now you've committed yourself to faithfulness in marriage. (After all - someone who's a virgin when they married but cheats when they're wed is far less pure than someone who wasn't a virgin when they got hitched, but has been completely faithful to their partner.)
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