Like what
he writes?
... Add *oyofthe Rovers to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *oyofthe Rovers a private message | | *oyofthe Rovers's Ratings | |
| | *oyofthe Rovers's profile:I am currently coming to terms with alot of things in my life. One, would be the break up of someone extremely close to me which is taken its toll on me. The second, is to do with something which happened to me along time ago which I know i must now face to look forward. I feel I have reached a point in my life where I need to change things for the better, by facing my fears.
I found this site when i was at a real low point and it really helped to hear from other people who could understand/help my situation. Since then I have found myself wanting to help others who have found themselves in a situation they need advice from an outside source.
I just like to try and give my neutral and mature perspective to a given situation, without judging or labelling people.
As you probably guessed I am now single; I live in London, England and am just getting on with things the best I can for now. |
|
His excuse for these emotional affairs, is that he likes to feel wanted!! What should I do, he hasnt slept with them so its not a real affair right ?
Q. I need help to figure out what to do about my fiance having an emotional affair. We have been together for 3yrs and have a daughter. I found out that he had been talking to another girl and that they had sent naked pix to each others phones. He ...
A. 14 April 2007: Sounds like he has an underlying issue. He is greedy. If he cant be happy with just the one person, you need think seriously about your future.
He and only he can change the way he is, by talking to you or by going to counselling. As along as... (read in full...)
Been seeing a married man for 15 years, but cant get over the guilt that his wife may have heard a voicemail message!
Q. i am in therapy trying to get over a relationship i have had with a married man for the past fifteen years. we actually broke it off (i did as i always did) a year ago but started speaking again this year. i became very threatened by a friendship ...
A. 14 April 2007: It sounds like this man is a bit of a player. You and possibly your friend?
Guilt..Maybe you have done his wife a favour? He maybe going through a hard time with his prostate cancer, but if he has been messing around behind her back for this... (read in full...)
I can't tell my family I have bulimia..would it be fair to tell my friend?
Q. hi, i think i may have bulimia, i cant tell my family about it but i think there may be one friend i can tell. is it fair of me to tell her or would that put her in an akward position, age 14...
A. 14 April 2007: Why not tell your family?
Your family are the only ones who can REALLY support you through your recovery. Telling your friend might eleviate some of your worries but wont solve your problems.
Ideally you need to see a doctor about this and g... (read in full...)
His excuse for these emotional affairs, is that he likes to feel wanted!! What should I do, he hasnt slept with them so its not a real affair right ?
Q. I need help to figure out what to do about my fiance having an emotional affair. We have been together for 3yrs and have a daughter. I found out that he had been talking to another girl and that they had sent naked pix to each others phones. He ...
A. 14 April 2007: There is something in the relationship which maybe he feels he isnt getting. But what he has been doing is WRONG. What kind of trust can you hope to have with someone like that?
If he isnt happy with the way the relationship is he should t... (read in full...)
Im fighting to get my man back after several mistakes, but how do I prove to him I wont do it again ?
Q. i have been in a relationship for almost three years. i made some mistakes and now i am fighting to get my man back. He has forgiven me but still thinks i could do it again. How do i prove to him that i am not going to do it again?...
A. 14 April 2007: I agree with CD.
You haave to make sure you HAVE learnt from all of this and prove it to him the best you can. You are lucky in someways, as not alot of people can do what he is doing once that trust is gone so make the most of it.
Once tr... (read in full...)
We broke up, her new guy just treats her like his slave, shes too kind for that, I still love her what should I do ?
Q. I have had a girlfriend for eight months, but sadly we broke up not too long ago. I loved her and she loved me. That was clear. We laughed all the time and helped each other through hard times. Then, someone else came into the picture. He guil...
A. 14 April 2007: I dont think you can do very much. She has made a choice and no matter how hard it is for you to see the good points she obviously sees something worth staying for.
The most you can do is be there as a friend if she needs you. If she really i... (read in full...)
I kissed another guy while we were broke up, now were together again he wants to kiss a girl to get back at me!!
Q. what should i do if i broke up with this guy a while back and i started to go out with this other guy and i might have kissed him a few times ... then i got back with the other guy and it bothers him that i kissed the other guy becuz he remained ...
A. 14 April 2007: Revenge is a natural reaction, but it is how you deal with emotion that what matters.
It is ok to feel jealous and revengful, but to actually carry out something like that is bang out of order.
If he loves you he must learn to bury this feelin... (read in full...)
Gf of 5 years doesn't want sex anymore! What should I do?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 1/2 years, we are living together. The issue i am having is we very rarely have sex anymore, i know you can get into a rut routine but we have not had sex for 3 months (Once in nearly ...
A. 14 April 2007: I wish that clean house thing was as true as you say, I ALWAYS found time to help my ex with the housework, we would end up with a sparkling house, but she would just feel knackered and would not want to play.
Counselling may help, but it does sou... (read in full...)
Gf of 5 years doesn't want sex anymore! What should I do?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 1/2 years, we are living together. The issue i am having is we very rarely have sex anymore, i know you can get into a rut routine but we have not had sex for 3 months (Once in nearly ...
A. 13 April 2007: You need to tell her EXACTLY how you are feeling.
She may have a good reason for not wanting sex, but she should respect you enough to tell you, when it is obvious this is fast becoming an issue.
How are the other aspects of the relationship... (read in full...)
I feel tired and have breast tenderness, but no period due to this pill I take. Am i pregnant?
Q. I just started taking a birth control pill that is supposed to give you 4 periods a year. In the first week, I had sex with my boyfriend - and yes, we did use a condom. It's 3 weeks into this birth control stuff and I'm feeling tired all the time ...
A. 13 April 2007: Where there any side effects mentioned on the packet or were this precribed by a doctor?
This sort of thing is surely going to play havoc with your bodies natural rhythm. These symptons are worth visiting a doctor about to verify if this is the c... (read in full...)
We split but need to get the 'house selling' issue looked after. Part of me wants to see her, but another part says it's too soon. Any advice?
Q. I have posted a previous question on here which sort of explains my current situation. Basically, I have split from my partner (ex) for nearly 4 months now. We are now living far from each other, her at her parents and myself at mine. We were l...
A. 13 April 2007: Ok, she texted me tonight to tell me the sell of the house has been called off and it sort of pissed me off. There was so much hatred in the text. I know I have upset her but that was along time ago now and she seems to switch from one second to ... (read in full...)
She regrets cheating after denying it, and says it mean nothing, is that just a cop out, and what should I do !?
Q. I just found out tonight that my girlfriend cheated on me a month ago. I'm 21 and we've been going out for almost 2 years. We were living together for 9 months until February when she moved abroad to do her dream job. We were still really close and ...
A. 13 April 2007: The key statement here is "she couldnt cope without regular sex". Is that all you mean to her? A bone on a stick?
You need to question HER motives for staying in this relationship. It is clear that your motives are just, but you dont deserve ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help with this depression and this sinking feeling, its taking over!!
Q. i still need advice,i used to be the most cheerful person youd ever meet but ive been battling depression for quite a while now,almost 5 months,it started out severe, i couldnt eat i couldt sleep couldnt concentrate i was just very negative. Its not ...
A. 13 April 2007: I am going through a depression in my life at the moment and I can confirm how you feel about things.
You need to speak to someone about this, the sooner the better. No-one can be expected to carry that around inside themselves forever.
Your... (read in full...)
She won't work on this relationship! Has she has been pressured by her friends and family?
Q. My girlfriend and I of three years split up 3 weeks ago after a series of petty rows. Despite my best efforts she says she no longer wants to try in our relationship. I know we both really love each other and that she is hurting just as much as I ...
A. 13 April 2007: It does sound like she has made up her mind about everything. You cant force her to see things your way, however much you want things to happen.
I dont think you can blame her family and friends for influencing her judgement, she is a grown wo... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and dont seem to have finished puberty! My doctor just thinks im shy about my penis size, but its more than that! Can anyone help ?
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 21 and generally a happy guy. I just have a big problem that has now been getting me down for years. I seem to just not be able to finish puberty. I'm baby faced, I can't grow a beard (everyone else in my family could from a y...
A. 13 April 2007: Everyone is different. Dont get too stressed about this.
It does sound to me like you have been thinking abou this for a long time. Is it that bad that it ruins your sex life?
You need to start to build your confidence up first because ev... (read in full...)
Do you think she is on the rebound or truly still loves me?
Q. hi i spit up with my girlfreind on Saturday and she told me that she got with thier neighbor who moved in on the Monday 2nd April next door to her and her friends say she does not love me coz i told her that i thought i heard her say i really love ...
A. 13 April 2007: The love you have for someone just does'nt disapear overnight. She may have feelings for you still but her perception of that love has probably changed. The fact that she went to the bother of changing her number and so on proves the fact the she ... (read in full...)
He is always too tired to make love after playing sports! What should I do?
Q. Hi, my husband works two jobs, always busy and I know that he is tired, but he spends his spare time, playing sports, or watching tv. he says that he loves me, but I feel so lonely all the time. I told him how I feel, but he doesn;t seem to care. ...
A. 13 April 2007: It sounds like he needs to change his ways and his behaviour towards you. To spend more time with you and I dont just mean having sex but quality time together.
He should be able to find a balance between his social activities and the love of ... (read in full...)
Can I break up with a guy over the phone if we've only been dating for just under 2 months?
Q. Can I break up with a guy over the phone if we've only been dating for just under 2 months?...
A. 12 April 2007: I agrre with the majority. Treat others, like you would like to be treated yourself.
It is a cold way of doing things. If thats how you want to seem then go for it, but he will resent you more for doing that.
Be brave and do it in person, so... (read in full...)
The married man I'm seeing says he sleeps in a different bedroom to his wife and only stays because of his son. Is he telling the truth?
Q. hi i've been dating a married man for 6 weeks sat, he says he sleeps in a diffferent bedroom and he only stays at his house for his son and because he pays the mortgage, he says he loves me and cant give me a 100 percent as he has his 12 year old ...
A. 12 April 2007: Your going down a road where alot of people can get hurt, including yourself.
Cut yourself the heartache and get rid of him.
Whether he is lying or not, he is married with a kid and his priorities will lie with his family. Dont let him tak... (read in full...)
I am 14 years old and feel very fat and very ugly...
Q. I'm fourteen and i am very ugly, im fat and thats all i see wheneva i look at myself, i am trying to go on a diet and i try not to eat very much, especially not to eat junk food, i've ate junk twice since ive started about five days ago and when i ...
A. 12 April 2007: Raven is absolutly right. Before you start anything you have to think better of yourself. This will help your motivation to changing yourself phyiscally.
There are plenty of options to you out there it is just a matter of finding one that fit... (read in full...)
She's still a virgin but she's much more experienced than I am.
Q. Hey I just got my first girlfriend im inexperienced compared to her she is a virgin tho, but i keep thinking of her with the other guys why is that? Other girls that i speak to there past doesnt bother me even if they've done worse then mine? is it ...
A. 12 April 2007: Jealousy is a natural response, but dont let it ruin what you have.
You have to see what is in front of you and enjoy that, and not ponder about what might have been. This is only going to end with you feeling resentment towards her which sh... (read in full...)
How do I give my boyfriend a great blowjob?
Q. hey me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and i want 2 give him a blowjob but i have no idea how to do it and i dont know wot guys like wot do i do???...
A. 12 April 2007: Start with what you feel comfortable with. I aint gonna go into graphic details but its gonna be a learning curve to be honest, for both of you.
As long as your willing to be fairly open minded about the whole thing just do what comes naturall... (read in full...)
Have relationship problems and am doubting myself or am I really that unlovable?
Q. I am late 40's, female, blonde, healthy, and attractive. I really do think and know that I am a nice person. I treat others with kindeness, respect but I do go 'off' when people are rude and selfish to others and myself. I have no qualms about ...
A. 12 April 2007: No probs anon. I hope you have better luck in the future with your choice of men. Not all men are like that ungrateful a-hole you mentioned, there are some well balanced men out there who will make give you the happiness your deserve.
All t... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend is using me?
Q. i have a boyfriend who is not working, i do everything for him. i have just given him my credit card because he had no food in his flat but he spent R2000. now i have opened a business and bought a car now he wants to be a partner with me. i dont ...
A. 12 April 2007: Tell him to get a job.
You seem to be doing well for yourself and he cant keep sponging off of you forever.
Maybe give him a limited amount to get by but only on the premise he uses some of it to find himself some work.
He is taking your pos... (read in full...)
How do I give my boyfriend a great blowjob?
Q. hey me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and i want 2 give him a blowjob but i have no idea how to do it and i dont know wot guys like wot do i do???...
A. 12 April 2007: It is like sucking a lollipop, without the biting off part!
Ask him what he likes, thats the only way you are going to please him.... (read in full...)
Why was everyone staring at me? I feel so self conscious now!
Q. this is a thing about being self concious. recently i bought this gorgeous black and white dress from BAY.i thot - it doesnt look too flashy, its fairly simple, the length goes down to my knees and no boobs are showing and its quite fashiona...
A. 12 April 2007: You obviously give yourself less credit than you realise.
You maybe a shy kinda girl, but theres nothing wrong in looking good and its sounds like you looked stunning!
You cant control peoples reactions however uncormfortable they make you fe... (read in full...)
Me and my boyfriend had dry sex and my mate filmed it on her phone!
Q. me and my bf have had dry sex and my m8 filmed it on her fone and she has showed loads of people, but as i am only 13 loads of people are calling me a slut. but the real problem is that my bf wants to do it again but im not sure now that people are ...
A. 12 April 2007: Get rid of your mate is the first thing.
Your young and before you carry on think about where this all leading.. Your boyfriend probably thinks he has a good thing but dont feel like you are pressured to doing these things.
There is plen... (read in full...)
I have 32 DD boobs and all the boys are turned on by them and i really like that, but i want them to touch them?
Q. I have 32 DD boobs and all the boys are turned on by them and i really like that, but i want them to touch them? what should i say?...
A. 12 April 2007: You want ALL of them to touch them? You might want to think what signal that is going to send to them and others around you. Nice as it sounds to be offered to touch a womens breasts, you should be careful as not all men will be happy with ju... (read in full...)
Do you think I should break things off with my boyfriend?
Q. im going out with this boy for 2 months who i really like and he really likes me but i think i am still in love with my ex, he borke up with me just less than a year ago. my ex's m8 is telling me he still has lots of feelings for me....please help ...
A. 12 April 2007: You have to be realistic about this. The reasons why you broke up in the first place, do they still exist? Will history repeat itself? I would talk to your ex and get a feeling for his intentions and see if he has learnt from the breakup. ... (read in full...)
I can't live with my mother any more, she's a real bitch!!!
Q. I want to get married to my boyfreind. its just that i cant live with my mother anymore she a real bitch. i love my boy friend and he loves me to. only thing is that my mother will say no to all this. someone help me . Please ...
A. 12 April 2007: Why is your mother a bitch? Is it her being protective? Is she really being unreasonable about things? Marriage should'nt be used as an escape from your mother. That is wrong for you and wrong for your boyfriend. You obviously love hi... (read in full...)
I hate my Father's pathological lying. It's made me too brutally honest..how do I find a healthy balance?
Q. My father is a pathological liar and i almost hate him for this and get angry every time i feel cheated. I have developed a personality that is very opposite to that of my father in that i am honest, but sometimes brutally so and don't care for ...
A. 12 April 2007: You have a rare gift. Telling the truth the way you describe is amicable, but yes maybe there are times where you need to kerb it just a little. Do you expect people to be as truthful to you all the time? How would you feel if someone told y... (read in full...)
My ex gf is still very rude to me! What should I do?
Q. Hello! This kind of continues from (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/does-one-my-buddies-like-my-ex-gf.html). Tommorow is the last time I shall see her until after the easter period and it's her birthday on Sunday and I haven't got her any...
A. 12 April 2007: I think i missed your boat, but it sounds like if she cant apologise herself in person she still has issues with you. I dont know the history so I dont know on what grounds you split, but she obviously has some anger there towards you for some rea... (read in full...)
Bf is going with his bike to a big spring break party! I don't want him to go..what should I do?
Q. Does anyone know about Laconia bike week (not just heard of it)..is it like a spring break where the girls are going wild and its all about finding a one night stand and women doing pervocative things at the bars? There is a possibility of m...
A. 12 April 2007: Question is do you trust him? What are his motives for going? It does sound a bit suspect, but you have to reserve the fact that his motives (might) be innocent. It all depends on the trust you have for each other and how far that trust w... (read in full...)
She says she still loves her husband but needs time to think. What should I do?
Q. I had what was supposed to be a one-night stand with this woman i know and she is on the rebound from leaving her husband (who treated her terribly) and a 16 year marriage. I fell madly in love with her and she fell in love with me nobody has made ...
A. 12 April 2007: Give her the time she needs. You have to aknowledge what she is going through and how she feels about leaving someone she was married to. All you can do is wait, however frustrating, painful it might be it is the best thing to do. She will re... (read in full...)
I want my bf to show affection but he isn't budging. Please advise.
Q. Is it true that some people truly love their mate, but never show affection, or give them any verbal confirmation, such as compliments or little sweet "I love you's".... I came from a very loving family, I grew up seeing my parents show affectio...
A. 12 April 2007: This sounds so much like a realtionship from my past it is quite unnerving. It finished mainly due to this reason and I now kick myself for not acting more impulsively and showing more affection. (I did have my reasons tho). However, I did show ... (read in full...)
Have relationship problems and am doubting myself or am I really that unlovable?
Q. I am late 40's, female, blonde, healthy, and attractive. I really do think and know that I am a nice person. I treat others with kindeness, respect but I do go 'off' when people are rude and selfish to others and myself. I have no qualms about ...
A. 12 April 2007: Theres nothing wrong with you in the slightest. You have been through a marriage which changes how you see percieve relationships forever and theres nothing like experience to base your perceptions on. It does sound like its more their problem th... (read in full...)
He 's a heavy drinker and unpredictable! What should I do?
Q. I need advice, I am totally devastated. I have recently tried to reconcile with my husband after being apart for only 2 weeks. He's a heavy drinker which makes his personality very unpredictable and usually hard to deal with. He begged and ...
A. 12 April 2007: Sounds like he has at the least a drinking problem, let alone a possible drug addiction. Drink and drugs make poor liars, and even worse partners.
Dont let him make you suffer with him. You love him, but if he is not helping himself what can... (read in full...)
Do I take a chance and have freedom or choose the secure lifetime with my bf?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a great guy for over a year. I'm 21 and he's 27. The courtship was wonderful and we moved in together about 6 months ago and we were engaged earlier in April. But we started having problems shorty after our ...
A. 11 April 2007: It seems you were looking for a way out before things got really bad, by wanting more freedom.
It sounds like you both need to talk about your goals for the future. If he is lying to you, can you trust him?
Only you can decide where you want t... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't help me with anything! How can I make him understand I need him to help me raise this family?
Q. I need help!! my husband is 28 years old and im 26 with 2 girls 5 and 6. Ever since we had our children i have raised them by myself because he is so selfish to help with anything. he works in the oil patch so he has a lot of time off. When he's not ...
A. 11 April 2007: Let him do all of his own cleaning and housework. You take care of the kids and make sure you do your fair share.
Is he using his job as an excuse? Or is he just naturally lazy?
When it comes to his clothes on the floor, the mess he makes, t... (read in full...)
Been battling depression for 5 months, and I have forgotten how to feel! Please help!
Q. i used to be the most cheerful person youd ever meet but ive been battling depression for quite a while now,almost 5 months,it started out severe, i couldnt eat i couldt sleep couldnt concentrate i was just very negative. Its not as severe anymore i ...
A. 11 April 2007: It all depends on what the source of the depression is?
It sounds like you need to talk to someone, either friend/family/professional.
Any of the above is gonna help you. Family can be very understanding if they can see how low your are fee... (read in full...)
We had a falling out! Should I not bother trying to fix things or try to patch things up?
Q. I have posted twice before over the last two days about how I have fallen out with one of my best friends who is a girl (neither one of us wants anything more than friend ship and she has a boyfriend)we have known each other for eight months but ...
A. 11 April 2007: I have'nt read your intial posting, so I will take what I can from this one.
If you value your friendship then you will do what you can to patch things up. I dont know how long you have left it, but be careful you dont leave it too long.
... (read in full...)
My Gf is always at work, never has time for me, she wont have sex everyday so I wont cuddle her, what can I do ?
Q. Im 27 and my girl is 26 I have a problem because she is always at work and never have time for me. she would come home and she would ask me to cuddle with her. I told her she knows i cant do that because i like to have sex everyday and she dont ...
A. 11 April 2007: I have to agree with alot of the people here. You cant expect sex everyday in a relationship. Poeple have different sex drive levels. For you to turn down her offer of a cuddle is only pushing her further away. Women like to be held and ... (read in full...)
| *oyofthe Rovers's friends
These are mutual friends, so *oyofthe Rovers has
added them and they have added *oyofthe Rovers!
|
