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| | *oyofthe Rovers's profile:I am currently coming to terms with alot of things in my life. One, would be the break up of someone extremely close to me which is taken its toll on me. The second, is to do with something which happened to me along time ago which I know i must now face to look forward. I feel I have reached a point in my life where I need to change things for the better, by facing my fears.
I found this site when i was at a real low point and it really helped to hear from other people who could understand/help my situation. Since then I have found myself wanting to help others who have found themselves in a situation they need advice from an outside source.
I just like to try and give my neutral and mature perspective to a given situation, without judging or labelling people.
As you probably guessed I am now single; I live in London, England and am just getting on with things the best I can for now. |
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Broken up for 3 months now but I miss her like crazy. How do I get her back?
Q. Me and my girl have been broken up for about 3 months now, and I miss her like crazy, how do I get her back?...
A. 2 June 2007: The sad thing about any break up is you can rarely force someone to change their mind and find the lost love they had for you. You dont mention much about the circumstances around your break-up, but the fact is the relationship has obvioulsy ... (read in full...)
He ignored me and then I hit him!
Q. please help me!!!went out last night with my boyfriend and his friends and he ignored me all night to the point where i was standing alone for most of it. we argued about it on the way home big time he was shouting at me and i just slapped him in ...
A. 1 June 2007: Ok, you were drunk and in the middle of a heated debate with emotions flying all around the place. Maybe you shouldnt of hit him, but to me sounds like the drink had a lot to do with that momentary emotional/physical outburst.
I think you need... (read in full...)
He thinks that if I have lunch with some male classmates (I'm in college), that automatically makes me a whore.
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 6 months ago and are speaking about trying to work things out and get back together. One of the biggest problems that stand in the way are our completely opposing views on having friends of the opposite sex. I always felt ...
A. 1 June 2007: He has trust issues and is finding it hard to let you go and enjoy yourself. theres nothing wrong with having a laugh with other people opposite sex or not.
As long as he has no reason to think you would do something wrong than he should give you... (read in full...)
I just feel so depressed, stressed and fed up with myself, I don't understand why! Is it just hormones or what?
Q. I'm a 15 year old female. Lately, i've been really down with myself, i don't really know why [AND it's not the 'time of the month']. Maybe it's just my life-routine - my parents are having goes at me 24/7 which really doesn't help and they are ...
A. 1 June 2007: 15 years old is a hard age to cope with, so many things spinning around your head you dont know whether your coming or going. You got school, friends, teachers, social pressure, parents and their pressure everything...
Chances are this is just ... (read in full...)
Repeat of a 3-some!
Q. Is it possible for me to get my wife to have sex with another man,she has done this one time before for me and I have a fetish about that.thanks for your advice...
A. 1 June 2007: Its not impossible but how does your wife REALLY feel about doing this? S=The first time might of been just to please your fantasies and to experiment.
Before you go ahead with anything like this your wife has to feel very comfortable doing th... (read in full...)
He is still a part of my life and I have deep feelings for him.
Q. dear cupid, i used to really like this lad x we used to be really close we were sorta seeing each other but had to keep it a secert becasue our friends didnt get along and forbidded us from seeing each other we kissed and i wanked him off and he g...
A. 1 June 2007: You have already done the hard part yourself. Realising how he is using you to get one thing, the next thing to do is to act on it.
Ideally you need to break contact from him totally to give yourself the space you need to recover from your fee... (read in full...)
We just broke up and I wish I could stop thinking about it all the time! Any advice on how to stop doing this?
Q. Well, I'm on a bit of a downer. I've blown a relationship with a girl that I loved probably more than any other. She had qualities I've never seen in another woman which where so similar to myself. We had so much in common, liked the same things. J...
A. 31 May 2007: You hit the nail on the head with what you said. You have to take the chance. Without question. If you dont try you just dont know..When your in a relationship you owe it to yourself to say the things you mean and want. Without doing this you are ... (read in full...)
Why do I seem to worry over small things and not bigger things?
Q. dear cupid i need major help, i keep on getting worried over smaller things, e.g one of the post about my neck, i been to counselling and its not helping me in any sort, y am i getting worried over smaller things and not bigger things like my m...
A. 31 May 2007: No. You need professional guidance here. How many people have you seen? You may need to try a few and see who you feel cormfortable with. Dont give up on the first one if that is the case...
You dont sound cormfortable with yourself and you ... (read in full...)
I have never had a female talk to me the way she does without having deep feelings for me. HELP!!!!
Q. I am in love with a friend of mine. We are both in our late 40's or so. I would have bet my life on the fact that she was falling in love with me as well. Our flirting was so obvious that some people noticed it and said things. However in January I ...
A. 31 May 2007: I think your right in what you think, she may well have feelings for you at the moment. But, I have to ask you this..I you happy with the thought that you would be the one tearing apart a marriage?
Does she speak at all about her marriage... (read in full...)
Should I ask to go for a friendly drink and a catch up? Am I being foolish to think that we'll be able to work things out?
Q. Hi, im 22 and just last week my relationship of 3 years came to an end. This came about because we argued a fair bit and i admit i didnt do my best to fix things, my boyfriend is the one that did it, over the phone (it hurt that he was such a coward ...
A. 31 May 2007: I can totally understand your feelings of confusion and frustration with this situation. I myself have been in a similiar position and to be honest its like between a rock and a hard place. You cant seem to win what ever you want to do.
Yes, ... (read in full...)
Is it just the commitment phobia or he is behaving normally and my thinking is wrong??
Q. Hi all, I am ankita from India. I have just got engaged a months back (It will be an arranged marriage) and the boy is working in a different city (So we dont meet actually). He calls me nearly everyday but we talk for just 10-12 minutes. Initially, ...
A. 31 May 2007: This kind of situation is a very tough one to handle, especially if you are not seeing each other as a non-religous relationship would. I can see so many problems with this scenerio and i dont blame anyone in your or his position to feel anxious, ... (read in full...)
My wife's dad died last night, how can I help my wife through this?
Q. ok i hope you can help me out here. i'm 33 and my wife is 32. She lost her dad last night and it very upset. I know she's grieving and everything but I've really never seen her like this before. last night when we got back from the hospital we went ...
A. 31 May 2007: First of all my thought are with her and yourself at this very sad time.
Losing a parent is one of the worst things that a person can experience intheir lifetime and what she is feeling is total loss. hence the reason why she was thinking... (read in full...)
I got treated bad by him and now I cry almost everyday!
Q. I need help Im a teenager and almost eveyday i cry and get upset about someone who i really like who ive done things with in the past he says he likes me on the day but he just f*cks me off the next day and hes admitted he has used me. Were really ...
A. 30 May 2007: You need to find someone worthy of your emotions and start to space yourself from him. If he is treating you like rubbish then you surely can see he is no good for you. You may have feelings for him and may want to continue the friendship but i ... (read in full...)
Me and my partner are no longer getting along, I can't go on like this!
Q. hi everyone i hope you can help,ive sat up all night waiting for my partner to come home or phone me,he stayed out again last night he came in from work late hed been for a drink and started shouting at me saying i was in a mood again, as i asked ...
A. 30 May 2007: Sounds to me he doesnt know what a relationship is all about. If you cant discuss this like two consenting adults or seek professional guidance then you are left with someone who is treating you like your worth nothing. That is no basis of any ... (read in full...)
We had a developing friendship but he went back to his ex. What do I do?
Q. I am friends with this guy, we got introduced and hit it off straightaway, so much in common, have a blast together,and extremely attracted to each other. But were just friends, started to text more and more, but then he gets back together with his ...
A. 30 May 2007: You say he is not a player, but he is playing you both at the moment. he needs to decide where his priorities lie. With her? Or with you?
You cant be expected to just be around in case it doesnt work out with his girlfriend, your emotions... (read in full...)
We're both just out of relationships that ended badly. Do I get involved in this one?
Q. I've just recently met a really nice guy but not sure whether I should get involved. He came out of a long term relationship just 3 months ago, things turned nasty with his ex, they have a small child together and he tells me he's not completely ...
A. 30 May 2007: The best thing you can do is take it day by day and see how your relationship grows. It is difficult to forget previous partners, maybe even more so when children are concerned.
You are both in a period where you dont want to rush into anything... (read in full...)
I'm incredibly paranoid towards my girlfriend!
Q. Dear People, I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 23. We've been together for about 6 months now and we both love each other. Over the past 6 weeks she has been at trainng for her work which means she spends 5 days staying at her training camp an...
A. 30 May 2007: Paranoia can eat away at you if you dont control it and it sounds like it has already had an effect.
While she is away you have to trust her, there are no other choices. Your constant texting, asking questions is only questioning her faith in... (read in full...)
I said one wrong thing and now he refuses to talk to me!!
Q. I HAVE BEEN REALLY STUPID!!! i have been talkin to this guy that i realli like for about 3 to 4 months now! he is really nice! well we wa chattin on msn just now and we wa laffin n jokin he wa showin me things on cam n i wa doin the same n i ope...
A. 30 May 2007: FOOT IN MOUTH....Ouch!! happens to the best of us..
Write him a short letter explaining how much you value his friendship and express how much you have enjoyed his company over the weeks. Leave it at that and just see what happens...
It does... (read in full...)
Can two people who genuinely care and love each other make their relationship work even if they are living two seperate lives?
Q. My girlfriend of three years and I have recently split. It has completely devasted me as I thought of her as my future wife. After putting the pieces together, I have come to the conclusion that the biggest reason for the break-up was because we are ...
A. 30 May 2007: That shouldnt of been a real problem in my eyes. yes, it might of caused problems but only if you let it. You might of had two different lifestyles, but if were both trying to make things work, this problem is a small one.
Were you out more tha... (read in full...)
Could it be that I am still a virgin at my age because of possibly low testosterone(male sex hormone)levels?
Q. NB: Please reply to THIS question; ignore the previous one- it was accidentally posted prematurely! I am a 27 year old male student, at University (a late starter), in the UK. My problem is that, at the age of 27 years, I have never had any se...
A. 30 May 2007: Yes you need confidence, but that doesnt mean you have to around groping girls as your mate does. You are who you are, you should be cormfortable in that. If you think a "MAN" is someone who gropes girls and the like your thinking of the ... (read in full...)
I'll do anything for it to be how we once were...
Q. ok so im 8month pregnant, 15, and by boyfriend -hes the dad- keeps forcing me into sex, he sexually abuses me and accuses me of cheating on him and goes everywere with me and if he cant he gets one of his m8s to go with me instead , he beats me up ...
A. 29 May 2007: Look hard as it may seem this person is not good for you. It sounds like to me he is trying everything to harm the baby and yourself in the process.
Was the pregnancy planned? Was/Is he supportive to bringing up the baby when it was first kn... (read in full...)
My friend is really misjudging my bf...should I still be friends with her?
Q. I have a boyfriend who treats me great. He is kinda weird at times but i tell him that and he agrees. Everyone does weird things it's just some don't care to show it. Well, to get to the point, My friend was hanging out with us for a few times then ...
A. 29 May 2007: Good friends will always look out for you and feel free to give their opinion whether it is warranted or not. You may not agree with your friend but it is her opinion and to an extent you have respect that. At the same time she has to respect your ... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself being jealous about his ex's??
Q. How do I get over my bf's past? I am 23 and he is 34 and has had a lot of girlfriends. We have been together for nearly 5 years we live together and have a young baby when i met him i knew he had a past- we met through a friend of mine who was...
A. 29 May 2007: If what you say is true then it does sound like he is making the effort to improve things within the relationship.
Try and focus on your present and your impending future with him and your baby. Your stresses and anxities will not create a health... (read in full...)
Is it true that no parents will like their daughter’s boyfriend? Any views?
Q. Is it true that no parents will like their daughter’s boyfriend? My boyfriend’s parents absolutely love me and want us to get married. On the other hand, my parents always try to find things to criticize about and tell me I should wait and see ...
A. 29 May 2007: My ex`s parents loved me to bits and when it all came to the end i was really gutted that i wouldnt see them again and they were just as gutted. So i think that is a generalisation.
It does depend on your age, coz parents can be protecti... (read in full...)
Dealing with my bf and his ex at their daughter's b'day party. How should I cope?
Q. My boyfriend’s daughter is having a 7th birthday party next weekend. It’s going to be at my boyfriend’s ex’s house. For some reason, I’m feeling uneasy about it. I’ve been to the girl’s birthday party last year and seeing the 3 of them together ...
A. 29 May 2007: You need to be the better person here no matter what his ex does or says to you to make you feel uncormfortable. be yourself and try and enjoy the occassion.
It is the people around you in scenerios like this that will notice odd behaviou... (read in full...)
He's pressuring me for sex! Break up now with him or later after exams are done?
Q. I have a boyfriend, and weve been going out for nearly 3 months. Weve done sexual things, but not sex. We have nearly had sex, but got walked in Now when he tries, i back out, and ive decied that i dont want to, and i dont regret my decision. I a...
A. 29 May 2007: You dont love him so the answer is clear i think. You dont want to have sex with him because of this and it would be wrong to lead him on while you have your exams as THIS will be an extra strain on you while you trying to achieve your best.
... (read in full...)
Living with the bf will mean a very long commute for me to work! Will this interfere in our relationship in the furture?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distant relationship (2hrs drive) but still make every effort to see each other every weekend. Since now our relationship has become more serious, not seeing him for a week drives us crazy. We are looking into moving ...
A. 29 May 2007: I dont think it should unless you feel a certain uncormfortableness (if thats a word) about it now. My ex had to drive roughly the same a few days a week when she wanted to see me and it was never a problem. Its all in the name of love at the end ... (read in full...)
How would someone get into there 30's and still be single and never married?
Q. How would someone get into there 30's and still be single and never married? why would they have a lot of (short term) failed relationships? is it just bad luck or is there something wrong with them?...
A. 29 May 2007: Theres nothing wrong with whatsoever. You need to ask yourself the questions why your previous relationships have not worked out?
Is it a commitment thing or more than that? As long as you know who you are and learnt from any mistakes you or t... (read in full...)
We're on a break as my girlfriend has said she doesn't trust me and it's driving me mad not seeing her.
Q. I would like some input on this as its very upseting for me and i feel i have no control over the situation. Me and my girlfriend are on a break for 1 month. She feels she cannot trust me because a few weeks ago we had an argument and my ex ...
A. 29 May 2007: I have to say you probably made a mistake by going out with your ex, however innocent it may have been. In your girlfriends eyes that was the last thing she wanted you to do and you went and done it. Confiding in your ex instead of waiting to ... (read in full...)
He sexually abused me and I can't get it out of my head.
Q. im 14, a year ago my boy friend sexualy abused me, he didnt have sex with me, he stalked me. sent me texts, asking me to do things, asking me to send pictures, he even sent me porn...of him. It was a monday and i had chemistry, he cornered me i...
A. 29 May 2007: I am sorry to hear about your story.
You have done well by seeing a councillor that is a brave move for you to talk to someone about your ordeal. Its a shame that people in this world feel the need to force themselves on others, to be honest i... (read in full...)
I am really at the end of my tether with my daughter's father...
Q. I have done so much for my daughter's father and I'm getting the end of the stick. I still care for him however, he's with another woman who I know he will do the same thing to her (cheat, use her, live in babysitter, pay his bills, etc). I am...
A. 29 May 2007: How and what he does with other women now should not be any of your concern. Your main focus should be your child and yourself along with your impending future.
Your rught your daughter doesnt need that kind of environment while she is growing ... (read in full...)
Is there anything anyone can advise doing to get the spark back into our relationship and make us become closer?
Q. ive been dating my boyfrend over a year now, and at first everyhing was fine. we got on well, the sex was great and we always had a laugh. we were so close, with each other all of the time and seemed to trust each other loads. now everything has ...
A. 29 May 2007: Communication here is key. he needs to talk to you about his feelings and why he feels them and you need to give him the confidence he needs.
You both sound like you enjoy each others company so dont waste any time and arrange an evening together... (read in full...)
He said he really liked me so why is he sitting on the fence?
Q. Im so torn at what to do...An old flame and i have begun talking and him and his g.f have recently broke up...When he was with her he was tellin me he always wanted me and he loves me n such. Now hes saying hes too scared to get involved with me cuz ...
A. 29 May 2007: It is hard to go back down a road which we have been hurt by, your mind screams caution while your heart tells you to jump in feet first.
Give him the time he needs. He may not be making the effort to come and see you as you want, but he may need... (read in full...)
I cheated on him and he dumped me, how can I stop loving him?
Q. Ok sorry if this is kinda long I cheated on my bf 10 months ago, and he dumped me as soon as i told him. we had been going out for 8 months and he was the love of my life! We had so many good memories and good times and things i know that both o...
A. 28 May 2007: You made a large mistake and now you have to learn how to deal with it. Learning from what you have done and what you have become is something you have to look at before you start to heal yourself.
You can not blame him for being angry at you a... (read in full...)
Is my weight normal for my age and height?
Q. Hi I'm 14 and 5 foot 5 and weigh about between 9 and 10 stone throughout the day and 10 stone when ive just weighed myself now is this normal? but thats probably because its the end of the day and ive eaten more. I would like to loose weight i have ...
A. 28 May 2007: Your body is going through some dramatic changes at the moment and i would not reccomend any strict diet plan.
To me you dont seem like you are over weight in the slightest, im no doctor, but you weight seems fairly average to me.
Maybe start t... (read in full...)
I am working with Female Bullies whom are 17 to 20 years older than I am
Q. Working with Female Bullies whom are 17 to 20 years older than I am; seriously, this is ridiculous! I have been working there for 15 years and about 2 years ago, this happened when I moved from one part of the warehouse to where these rude femal...
A. 28 May 2007: Whether or not you have a blemish on your record does not make a blind bit of difference, and the fatc that there are witnesses to the womens misbehaviour is a good thing.
Does the place have in house cameras which might of recorded such an incid... (read in full...)
Is it wrong at the age of 22 to have the desire to have a baby and get married?
Q. Is it wrong at the age of 22 to have the desire to have a baby and get married? I'm not with anyone at the moment, and I know that I need to get a better job and a house, but the feeling has been overwhelming me lately, and I don't know if I'm wrong ...
A. 28 May 2007: Question.
What if you do find the woman of your dreams; she has everything you look for in a woman APART from wanting children, what choices will you make then?
i only ask this because it isnt always easy finding the things we want in life and... (read in full...)
Because I'm very good at sex-he's very insecure and thinks I will stray. How do I reassure him I won't do this?
Q. I think my b/f is going through a slight insecure phase because I have a high sex drive (usually want it more often than he does) and he tells me I am great at oral sex (the best he's ever had) and when we go out he thinks I look at other men. I do ...
A. 28 May 2007: It seems your beauty and self-confidence is causing him to be insecure in himself and how he sees you. I dont see this as you fault at all, you are who you are. As you have stated you dont give him any reason to feel this way so this stems from ... (read in full...)
Is it true that some men "never get past sex"?
Q. Is it true that some men "never get past sex"? Like if the sexual aspect of the relationship has dipped into a less-than-hot-passion phase, then the man thinks it's over, and now you're approaching friendship, and he starts to look around....
A. 28 May 2007: To myself sex is not the basis of a relationship and shouldnt be, but can help both people learn about each other and become closer in a physical way as well as a mental way. Dont get me wrong sex is important, but this is something which should ... (read in full...)
I've known him for 8 years and we've been kissing passionately! What do I do?
Q. I have known this guy for 8yrs and within this year he and I have gotten closer. I only see him at work and when he walks in he puts his stuff down and hugs and kisses me. Then after work he walks me out, and then we kiss a little bit more.. If you ...
A. 28 May 2007: You havent mentioned what he said about the note/letter you gave to him. You need to be clear on where you stand in his life as your emotions have become involved. The previous post had a very good point to whether this man is married?
You h... (read in full...)
I am working with Female Bullies whom are 17 to 20 years older than I am
Q. Working with Female Bullies whom are 17 to 20 years older than I am; seriously, this is ridiculous! I have been working there for 15 years and about 2 years ago, this happened when I moved from one part of the warehouse to where these rude femal...
A. 28 May 2007: It is unfortuante to hear your story and this kind of behaviour is unjust and totally immature. Sounds like a female prison to me. Your right in what one of your collegues have said, they are probably jealous of you for their own reasons and use ... (read in full...)
We just broke up and I wish I could stop thinking about it all the time! Any advice on how to stop doing this?
Q. Well, I'm on a bit of a downer. I've blown a relationship with a girl that I loved probably more than any other. She had qualities I've never seen in another woman which where so similar to myself. We had so much in common, liked the same things. J...
A. 11 May 2007: Time is a great healer. You have to stop thinking about the things you could of done and accept your mistakes and learn from them. Dont let those fears overwhelm your future, just over come them.
5 months ago I was in a similiar position... (read in full...)
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