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How do I give my boyfriend a great blowjob?

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Question - (12 April 2007) 13 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hey me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while and i want 2 give him a blowjob but i have no idea how to do it and i dont know wot guys like wot do i do???

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A female reader, lilllyhaid Panama +, writes (31 October 2011):

You must practice. And watching a little pornography won't hurt either. Most of these women really know how to give a great blow job. So study their techniques, it's going to help you improve and give you some great ideas on how to please your man. Pleasing your man isn't just for him, of course, it makes us feel more confident, sexy, and feminine. It's truly a win win situation for everybody.

Great oral sex can only be achieved if we truly enjoy it. Don't let your mind wander, focus on what you're doing and on his reactions to what you're doing. This will give you clues as to what he likes and what he doesn't like.

After a few hot blow job sessions you'll be able to make him feel anything you like, now that is a feeling of power. Be submissive and dominating at the same time, it's a trip, enjoy. You're man's going to love it as much as you do.

Use the power of your voice, your eyes, and even make some nice not-so-discrete-sucking-noises while you're at work. Now that's giving a quality blow job with style. You're going to blow your guy away with your sexiness and your rock solid technique. Check this guide here for more tips

Professional level technique is about using all the tricks of the trade. The first rule, is minimize contact between the penis and your teeth. That is step one. Practice.

Once you've got that down you can work on getting a nice rhythm and speed down. You've got a tongue so use it. Also use the side of your mouth to gently pop his cock in and out of your month. Now that is how a pro does it.

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A female reader, vickysmr Antarctica +, writes (15 December 2010):

Here are 3 simple tips that will skyrocket your sex life:

Tip #1 – Change the Way you Think

Countless women are searching the internet for “techniques” and “tricks” – let me just tell you that you don’t really need that. You can learn every single “special technique” out there – and all of it will be worthless if you don’t have the right attitude. Oral sex is about connecting with your man on a deeper level and being in complete control of his potential pleasure or pain (and in these moment – You have the power to deliver either ultimate pain or pleasure). As I’ve said – most advice on oral sex out there is focusing on “techniques” instead of going to the core of the problem and the reason why most women don’t know how to truly pleasure a man.

I advise you to change the way you view giving a man oral sex – stop looking at it as a “chore” or something that you are just doing to make him happy. It should be fun – not work. Once you start enjoying it – or at least faking enjoyement in the beginning (until you get good and naturally start enjoying it more) – he will enjoy it A LOT more himself. Yes, sometimes it’s that simple. Emotions tend to jump from one person to another – so if you have a bored, “why didn’t he orgasm yet?” or “am I doing it right?” look on your face – it probably won’t be that attractive. And men are first and foremost visual – we get turned on when we see that YOU enjoy it – even more than we do. That’s why you should never forget that oral sex is more mental than physical – and that is why “techniques” are far less important than having a great attitude.

Tip #2 – Convey Your New Attitude

Once you’ve decided to try out my advice and focus on changing your attiude – the next thing you may be concerned with is “How can I show him that I enjoy it?”. There are many ways, as long as you are creative and not afraid to experiment a bit – you’ll be great. Different guys might prefer different things – that’s why you need to “crash and burn” with your current guy a few times until you figure out what he enjoy the most.

Anyway – back to conveying the “right” attitude. Start of by smiling – there’s nothing easier than that – and you can convey so much with a nice smile, or a laugh. Give him a naughty, seductive look with a smile – as if you can’t wait to start – because “you love to give him oral”. You need to capture all of his senses – so use the tone of your voice the right way, talk in a seductive, turned-on tone – your vibe will pass on to him and once he sees that you really want to give him oral and that it’s not just a “chore” he’ll already enjoy it more, even if you didn’t start yet! Talk dirty to him, tell him that you love it, keep eye contact from time to time – and never forget that “you love it” and it’s not “work”. Keep these “work” thoughts out of your mind. The moment you start thinking is when everything usually goes downhill – get out of your brain and tune into your senses. You need to be passionate and sensual about it. And the easiest way to control his emotions is by controlling your own feelings first.

Tip #3 – Relax and Have Fun

I’ve received hundreds of emails from women asking me how to solve their “oral sex problems” – most of them have something in common. Even after receiving lots of information and even though they already know what they need to do to give truly amazing oral – they are still worried about completely unimportant things. That’s because they can’t stop thinking and complicating things for no real reason – stick to the basics (a good attitude) and go on from there.

It’s normal that not every time will be perfect – it’s normal that he sometimes just can’t orgasm (but you can work on that). It is not the end of the world if you fail – and you will fail until you get good at it – so be prepared for messing up a few times here and there, but over time and practice – any woman can get great at giving oral to men. I’ve seen it dozens of times. Just don’t view it as work – it should be fun, look for feedback from your guy – as long as you are trying to improve, I’m 100% sure he won’t mind you trying over and over again :)

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A male reader, NEERAJ007 India +, writes (26 October 2008):

paste chocolate on his penis and just do oral sex

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A female reader, carsar United States +, writes (29 April 2008):

(note from moderator: I'm posting this despite the jocular nature, after all the writer did go to some effort and its funny! though several excerpts have been deleted due to potential to cause offence)

First sharpen front buck teeth, then engage in the usual fondling, groping and stroking of the body, lips and other appendages. If possible apply a glue based, lemon flavored lipsmacker (for added excitement). Very quickly fall to your knees, tear his pants off, and grab his dick in your sweaty fist (be sure to be very sweaty as to add to the lubrication). Once face to face with the beast, aggressively insert three to four digits(fingers) into his rectum. Once inside the mucusy tunnel of doom, wildly spread each finger in a serpentile motion, be sure to continue until he is screaming and pulling your hair. (For added excitement consider wearing several different shaped and sized rings.) Pull fingers out of rectum, rub the loosened hole. Now you are ready to give him head! Aggressively and without hesitation, grasp the head of his dick with your recently sharpened teeth and bite down as hard as you can without making him bleed (blood is not a very good lubricant). Then grab the base of his dick with your intertwined hands/fingers and move them up and down very quickly. Remember, if at any point he is yelling stop, crying, or seemingly in a great deal of pain, DO NOT STOP, this is his way of telling you, "this is amazing!" Continue this motion, mixing it up with a lot of pressure, while maintaining great speed. Once it seems he is reaching peak, suddenly stop. Now, squeeze directly below the head with excessive pressure, turning the penis a purplish tinge (for black men, you will see a white color emerge). Release. If at this point he is still conscious, say "Fuck off douchebag," take the money and run. If, however, he is not conscious, get out your scalple, pinch a piece of scrotal skin and begin cutting. At this point the sac should leak fluid, if you see a tesicle you have cut too much.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008):

I give my boyfriend blow jobs that drive him nuts. The first issue is to act interested in doing it! Don't look at it as something you "have" to do. I love going down on him even if I don't get anything in return. The fact that I'm giving him that much pleasure is enough to turn me on. So act like you want his penis in your mouth just as much as he wants to put it in your mouth!

Secondly, get him nice and hard. Kiss his neck, lips, and chest. Run your fingers softly over his chest and down to his stomach. Gently run your thumb across the head of his penis. If there is pre-cum, use it to roll over the head of his penis. Think of how good it feels to have a guy run his fingers over your clit. Multiply that by 100--that's how good it feels when you do that to him. Don't forget his balls and his ass. I like to run my hands over his balls and use my middle finger to run across and massage his ass. That drives him crazy.

After he's hard and ready to fuck your brains out, make your way down to his penis. Just take a second to look at how rock hard he is. Enjoy it, because once you start, it won't last long! Start out by licking the head of the penis. Don't put the whole thing in your mouth just yet. Lick the head like it's a tasty treat. Make your way down the penis with your tongue to get the rest of it nice and wet. After it's wet, dive in. Cover your teeth with your lips so that you don't bite him or hurt him in any way. I like to grab the penis with my lips so that it's tight like a pussy. Use this opportunity to move up and down on his penis so that it's like he's really fucking you. Remember to play with his balls and ass while you're doing this. I like to take breaks so he doesn't cum just yet. During the break I'll put his dick between my tits. Once I resume, I put his dick back in my mouth and deep throat to get his dick nice and wet. After it's wet enough, I like to take it out of my mouth and run my thumb across the head for a few moments and then take it back in my mouth. Once he starts thrusting in your mouth, you know he's close to cumming. So whenever he gives me the signal of thrusting, I start moaning and doing everything faster and faster until I can feel him cum in mouth. I don't swallow, so I just get rid of the cum in a towel. Every guy is different so I can't tell you what your boyfriend will like. But this is my technique!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

well if u want to give your boyfriend a great blowjob ask him what he likes and have him tell u his "hotspots" are and its funny im sixteen a know how to give a great blowjob but I have been with the same guy I had sex with but the thing that drives my guy wild is using a vibrater when I go down on him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008):


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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007):

look i m a guy of age 18 i masturbate pretty often i think all guys like blowjobs.and to give a great blowjob first start with slow hand massaging and take the penis in your mouth and start it with slow ups and downs.then slowly as ur partner starts to feel a bit more horny giv it a shot,by doin it more vigorously then wait for his cum to ejaculate then suck it all down,but dont feel as if ur not enjoyin it.giv ur boyfriend the look as if ur enjoyin it and dont stop it there do it till he himself lets you go.if u do this i m sure ull please ur boyfriend and ur relationship will grow healthy.

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A male reader, Dr. Mark Canada +, writes (16 April 2007):

It's been a few days since you posted your question, and I don't know if you have tried your first attempt or not. I am more experienced on the receiving end then the giving end, but perhaps I can give you a few pointers.

First of all, keep in mind that fellatio (giving blow jobs) is an art. As you become more experienced, and more confident, you will only get better and better at it.

If you haven't yet had your first experience, it is very important to remember NO TEETH! What I would like you do for practice, is to take two of your own fingers, and practice slipping them into your mouth gently. When your teeth touch, even slightly, remember that the penis is very sensitive. Even slight contact with teeth can be very painful. As a beginner, do not let your teeth touch.

Now, when you practice with your fingers, first moisten your lips. Get them as wet as you can with your tongue. Make sure you keep your mouth and lips wet throughout the whole experience.

When you first start off, and your heart is doing that little pounding thing that it will likely be doing first time, take your time to look at his penis. Use your hands to caress the tops of his legs, gently stroking and sliding between his legs and his scrotum. This will start to create an excitment in him as he anticipates what will come next. Take your time. At first, every thing should be as slow as possible. Enjoy the moment, relax, and begin to feel as though you love his penis. Prepare your mind by wanting his penis, and feeling like you need to look after it, and cherish it. You will want to look up often at his face and see the look of pleasure that you are giving him. You are in control. Enjoy that feeling of control.

Then when you first take it into your mouth, instead of opening wide, and inserting it, start by just touching the tip of it to your wet lips. Then very slowly, using very little pressure, slip it into your mouth. Again, you can practice before hand using your fingers.

Don't worry about being able to take him in all the way. It isn't necessary. When it reaches the back of your tongue, you may have a gaging sensation the first time. This is natural. You should learn to control this, but at the beginning, just back off a little (and remember NO TEETH!!). He will likely want to feel his whole penis is inside, but you can achieve a sensation of this, if you wrap one or both hands around the base. This way, between your mouth and hands, the whole length of it is surrounded by you.

Once in side, there are various techniques you can practice. Remember, your first time will be perfect, just because he will love it no matter what. As you learn more, you can master it, and there is no rush to learn everying your first time. You can simply slide it slowly in and out between your gently closed lips. You can take a break from this, and lick the length of it from the base to the tip. You can gently suck on it. A very intense feeling can be aroused by sucking on just the very tip. The very tip has the most sensation. Be warned though, that you can get him off very quickly this way! (more on that in a bit)

As you become experiences, you will not want to neglect his scrotum. Insist that he is very clean... and preferably make him has a shower first. You can shower with him if you like or if the shower is available. You can lick his scrotum, and very gently take one of his testicle into your mouth. The same teeth warning applies here. If he can tolerate it (this can create intense feelings), very very gently start to suck on one. You can also spread his legs wider apart and lick a little below his scrotum. Again, keep your tongue and lips wet the whole time.

Now, if your boyfriend is young, and if this is fairly new to him too, he will likely have an orgasm very early on. Even if you take it very slowly, you may not have time to even get as far as his scrotum. That's fine. But you do need to be prepared for his orgasm.



Keep watching his face, and try to sense from his body when his orgasm will start. Once it starts, it will happen very quickly. Tell him to let you know before it happens, and as it gets closer. You should think beforehand what you want to do. There are several choices open to you. If you are not comfortable with him coming in your mouth, then you can take it out, and stroke him with your hands through the ejaculation period, aiming it up towards his chest. (assuming he has his shirt removed!) Do not let him force you to come in your mouth if you are not ready for it. This is inconsiderate of him, and if this happens, make sure it is the last blow job you ever give him. It is entirely your choice.

Ok, so you've decided to let him come in your mouth. For many men, there can be a very erotic feeling, knowing that his partner swallowed. When this happens, you may have an initial gagging sensation. It will be warm to hot, but try not to let it take you by surprise. You can choose to swallow it, or not. If you do swallow it, it will likely give you a globby feeling going down your throat. Some women are excited by the sensation, and some may even enjoy the taste. Some do not particularly like the taste, but have learned to tolerate it. Some can't stand the taste or sensation, and like to have it over as soon as possible at that point. Some have described the taste as being like salty egg whites. You won't know until you try for yourself. You can do it on the first time, or just wait for a subsequent experience.

Remember that even if you do have him cum in your mouth, you don't have to swallow it. You can discretely put the contents into a paper towel or kleenex that you have near by for this purpose. Or you can just continue to move up and down the shaft of his penis, and allow it to discretely leave your mouth at this time, back onto him. The paper towel or kleenex will come in handy for cleaning up after this too.

Have a chaser drink close at hand -- maybe your favourite drink to wash it down.

I don't want to make is sound worse than it is. I have had experiences with women who have used all these methods (not coming in her mouth at all, swallowing, spitting out, and discretely allowing it to leave). There is no right way, it is totally up to you.

So now, remember, this can be a lot of fun. You may be nervous at first, but as you practice, you will enjoy becoming more skilled.

Finally, after you have done this for him, HE will need to reciprocate for you. If not right away, then soon after. You have just put out all for him, and you need a turn to be on the receiving end!

Be Safe and Have fun!!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States + , writes (12 April 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHey sweetness,

I actually gave a big long explanation to answer someone else recently. I'm just going to copy and paste it, because I think it applies here too.

Oral sex... one of the few times where much messier is usually much better. The trick is to genuinely love his "love log"... I mean it, I do.

Personally, I think the one thing that will absolutely guarantee great, fabulous, mind-blowing head is being COMFORTABLE, completely comfortable with his penis. For the most part, it won't break so explore it all over with your young. Don't just lightly touch his penis with your tongue, REALLY use your mouth with enthusiasm. Use your tounge and make sure your mouth is nice and wet.

I find also that using your hand at the same time is a GREAT way to make your blow jobs top-notch. Use it at the same time to lightly play with his "boys" or, if we must get technical, his testicles. Don't grab them too harshly or twist them up... those you should be gentle with.

I like to switch it up between my mouth and hand... when I am switching to using my hand, I lick it or sort of spit on it to make it nice and lubricated and that feels great for your boyfriend.

Switch up your pace... sometimes go fast, then stop and just stroke him lightly, then start up a little faster, build, build, slow, faster, faster and when he's ready to let go, let him.

Most importantly, talk to each other, have fun and laugh about it every step of the way. This stuff can be a lot of fun!

Good luck, sweetness. Hope it helps!


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A male reader, Royofthe Rovers United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2007):

Royofthe Rovers agony auntStart with what you feel comfortable with. I aint gonna go into graphic details but its gonna be a learning curve to be honest, for both of you.

As long as your willing to be fairly open minded about the whole thing just do what comes naturally, if he dont like it then I`m sure he will say so. And if he does, you`ll know about it soon enough!

Just be gentle with him...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey thanx 4 replying so quickly i should have mentioned that i already asked him wot he likes but he says he's not bothered and to surprise him but im totally lost as ive never actually seen it coz he's usually the 1 that deals with it if u get me so im still kinda pretty clueless!!!

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A male reader, Royofthe Rovers United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2007):

Royofthe Rovers agony auntIt is like sucking a lollipop, without the biting off part!

Ask him what he likes, thats the only way you are going to please him.

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