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... Send *ockelle a private message | | | *ockelle's profile:I am 26 years old, married with one child. I live in New Jersey and my passion is writing although I do have a full-time job in another field. I give advice to all my friends, and family only when thay ask of course. I try to be as honest as possible when I give advice because when I ask a question that is what I want to hear. |
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My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 13 November 2007: No, that is not weird. I am happy to hear that there are still some decent respectable women out there. She was right, get things sorted out with your wife first as far as the divorce etc. then move on. I am glad that you showed her that you were ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant this way?
Q. I would like to become pregnant but my hubby won't cum inside, he says not now we are not ready but I am so I got him off with a blow job then let him cum in my hand then I went in the bathroom in put it in my vagina. Can I get pregnant like that? ...
A. 12 November 2007: Good for you. I am very happy that you decided to be honest with him! I hope that everything works out for you guys.... (read in full...)
My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 7 November 2007: I am sorry but this women sounds like she has some serious issues. Although you may still love her lets not dismiss the fact that she is a big liar, and a thief. She has created total chaos in you household. She has abandoned her respnsibility as a ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting?
Q. Hi, Lately my boyfriend of 3 yrs has been acting up he always yells at me and tells me that I stress him. In the 3 yrs he managed to impregnate 2 girls but I forgave him and we moved on but I can't handle his abusiveness. Am I overreacting?...
A. 7 November 2007: I can not believe that you are still with him after he has gotten 2 other girls pregnant. Then to make matters worst he treats you bad!
This is a question that you shouldn't even have to ask. No you are not overreacting. You need to leave this lose... (read in full...)
Is he having a mid-life crisis? Should I go for divorce?
Q. Not sure where to start. I found out my husband was cheating because he was acting wierd and then my 4 year old daughter said that daddy's friend and her kids met them at pizza. It kinda got my wondering... I confronted him and he said they were ...
A. 7 November 2007: Wow, it doesn't seem like the situation is getting any better for you. I hope that you are seriously considering divorce. This man is not meeting you at the halfway point. It sounds like you are the only person that wants to make your marriage work. ... (read in full...)
Why did I do this to myself? Have I become the 'other woman'?
Q. I don’t know why I let this happen!!! I was married for 23 years he had an affair that he would not end so I filed for divorce. That all happened since May 2005. Divorce is final as of June 2006. I still love this man but he has chosen to live ...
A. 2 November 2007: No, you are not the other women. You made a mistake. We all do. The other women would continue to sleep with him and I hope that is not your plan. Get up dust yourself off and pull it together. Obviously this man has a real problem with monogamy he ... (read in full...)
How can I get over his betrayal with a teen lover?
Q. I'm depressed and upset about my husband and his affair with an 18 year old girl. I've stressed about it since I found out 4 months ago. I can't stop thinking about it and crying. I had my new baby 6 weeks early due to all this trauma. The birth was ...
A. 2 November 2007: I am not sure what to tell you. I always try to encourage forgivenss and making a marriage work; but in this case I do not know if this man deserves you. I am sure you are hurting beyond what I am imagining and this has had a devastating impact on ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am just going through the motions and can't cope with the strain anymore.
Q. Hi - I think I'm just going through the motions of being with my partner. We don't live together and split up earlier this year before getting back together about 7 weeks ago. I was the one that ended the relationship - things hadn't been good sin...
A. 2 November 2007: I think that you have stated more than 2 reasons in your post why you should discontinue this relationship. A relationship should make you happy and compliment the good things that you have in your life. If he is not making you happy then the only ... (read in full...)
The guy who likes me is married. What is the hope?
Q. Hi everyone,im new to this and a bit stuck,anyway im sammy and ive got a little problem.ive just been told that this guy i know is keen on me,the thing is the word keen means?he likes me or something else?hes also married and is older by a few ...
A. 2 November 2007: I wouldn't give him the time of day. He has a wife so he doesn't have much to offer you. I would ignore him and keep my distance. Married men are bad news.... (read in full...)
Did he marry me as last resort?
Q. I don't know if my husband married me because he loved me or because I was all that was left. We've been married for two years. We started dating when I was 16 he was 19, I fell in love with him right away but didn't say anything. We had both just ...
A. 2 November 2007: I say be happy that he woke up and smelled the coffee. I am sure if he had asked anyone of those ex-girlfriends to marry him they probably would have. But he asked you, and you are living together happily as a result. Some stories do have a happy ... (read in full...)
How do I get him out of my head.
Q. i dont know how to start this i was in a very unhappy relationship and i own my own buisness as a cleaner, i had just broke up with my guy and then this guy asked if i could clean for him . at the time when i was hurting i poured out my troubles to ...
A. 2 November 2007: Just suck it up and move on. You put yourself out there and he is not interested. At least now you know. I think you need to take some time to work on your broken heart from your last relationship and stop concentrating on him. Once you have your ... (read in full...)
Should I take any notice of my friends?
Q. I am a in a serious relationship and I love this guy so much but whiles i am in Ghana, he is in Canada. He promise me with a ring.He is going to be there for 3years and a year is almost gone.The relationship is ...
A. 2 November 2007: I agree with Miss C, do not listen to your friends. If you love this guy and you are happy then you do what you think is best. Follow your heart and listen to that little voice in your head. It is called womens intuition and it is almost always ... (read in full...)
Does she resent me for disciplining her child? Are we 'pulling in different directions'?
Q. I have a simple question that I would really love to have some responses on. If I punish my soon to be step son, by taking his cell phone off him for a week, for mocking and back talking me, and his mother agrees with me that he needs to learn a ...
A. 2 November 2007: How old is this child? Is his biological dad involved in his life at all? It sounds to me like he is trying to get some much needed attention from Mom. Kids sometimes act out to get the parent to show them some attention good or bad. Does your ... (read in full...)
Does she resent me for disciplining her child? Are we 'pulling in different directions'?
Q. I have a simple question that I would really love to have some responses on. If I punish my soon to be step son, by taking his cell phone off him for a week, for mocking and back talking me, and his mother agrees with me that he needs to learn a ...
A. 2 November 2007: I do not think that she is resentful. I think that she did something that a lot of mothers do. She let him off the hook early. I am not saying that she was right I am saying that she would have probably done the same thing if he were your child. I ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant this way?
Q. I would like to become pregnant but my hubby won't cum inside, he says not now we are not ready but I am so I got him off with a blow job then let him cum in my hand then I went in the bathroom in put it in my vagina. Can I get pregnant like that? ...
A. 2 November 2007: How would you feel if you did not want a baby and your husband held you down and raped you and got you pregnant? You would be devastated I am sure. He has a choice, if you can not live with the decision that he has made you need to sit down and ... (read in full...)
What he doesn't classify as cheating, I would! If this is his judgement, can I trust him? Any advice?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend two years now and he has just told me that several years ago, during a two week period when him and his (then) girlfriend did not speak following an argument (they had not officially split up), he ended up in a ...
A. 1 November 2007: I think you should keep an eye on him. I wouldn't take it as far as too break-up but I would definately make a mental note of his non-chalant attitude about cheating. In addition to that I suggest you sit him down and tell him what you expect from ... (read in full...)
Can we have sex without contraception?
Q. can if i didnt 'cum' inside my gf would it be ok not to use contraception?...
A. 1 November 2007: I wouldn't advise you to have sex without a condom. Even if she takes the pill how can you be sure that she is taking them everyday? You need to protect yourself from an unplanned pregnancy that will change the rest of your life. So always use ... (read in full...)
I looked through my boyfriends phone and found out more than I wanted to know.
Q. Ok here's the deal- I've been w/my boyfriend for almost a year now. I love him more than anything and I want to trust him, but sometimes I get that feeling in my gut that something's off. Like he'll be sitting there just texting away on his phon...
A. 1 November 2007: Sounds to me like he is not ready to be in a relationship. he is still carrying on like a single person. I wouldn't invest anymore time or energy into him or the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he wants me to go to his mother's funeral?
Q. my boyfriends mum has died recently i never got to meet her the funeral is tomorrow and i dont know if he wants me to go with him im to scared to ask him as since her death i have not really seen him i just dont know what to do ...
A. 30 October 2007: I think you should go as a sign of support. Let him know that you are there. If you and he haven't been together that long I wouldn't go with him. But attend to pay your respects even though you have never met the mom. ... (read in full...)
Is he having a mid-life crisis? Should I go for divorce?
Q. Not sure where to start. I found out my husband was cheating because he was acting wierd and then my 4 year old daughter said that daddy's friend and her kids met them at pizza. It kinda got my wondering... I confronted him and he said they were ...
A. 30 October 2007: My heart goes out to you. I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. First and foremost your husband is being a real jerk. I am sure you already know that. He has not only hurt and disrespected you but his children also. He is being selfish ... (read in full...)
Are words really necessary?
Q. Extended gaze? Have you ever looked into his/her eyes and known instantly that he/she loves you too without need of saying it with words? ...
A. 30 October 2007: Yes, my husband tells me he loves me with a certain look. I can look at him and feel the love. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul.... (read in full...)
How do I rebuild my friendship with my best friend without damaging his relationship?
Q. I'm living in what most people would think to be an unorthodox way. I share a house with my best friend who is a man and i'm a woman. Me and my best friend have been very close for years. We've been through a lot together. It has worked o...
A. 30 October 2007: Wow, it sounds like his girlfriend is being a real B****. It sounds to me like she is making no effort to get along with you or to have a relationship with you at all. Now, that is were I think your best friend should come in and encourage her to ... (read in full...)
When is enough, enough?
Q. I've had some bad luck in the past with boyfriends. Fell pregnant when i was 19, and my daughter is now almost 5. I met a guy 18 months ago, and fell in love. It was the same for him, but he just came out of a failed engagement, so things took a ...
A. 30 October 2007: I think maybe you should cut the guy some slack. He sounds like a good guy to me! I also think that it is a very good sign that he made an attempt to please you with the flowers. After getting out of bad relationships we sometimes tend to focus on ... (read in full...)
How can I get him back?
Q. hii, iam sarah, well i just broke up with my fiancie from about 3 months and i still love him and iam trying to get him back but the problem i feel iam not doing well in this, i really need a way to get him back becoz i cant stop thinking about him ...
A. 30 October 2007: Wish I could help but you did not give enough details. If you broke up why? Did he end it or did you? Why do you want him back so badly? Sometimes if you try too hard to get someone back it turns them off because you seem too needy and desperate. ... (read in full...)
He won't admit to cheating, what should I do?
Q. I have been with my husband for 7 years. This year he moved to another work premises. He was "working late" but we never seemed to have any extra money as a result of this. I noticed one evening when I was out that a number had shown up on the ...
A. 30 October 2007: First, of all he is not such a good liar in my book. Yes he has been cheating. Now I do not want you to get the impression that I am some bitter women. Because if this situation had been a little different I would be the first person to tell you to ... (read in full...)
How do I go about getting an abortion?
Q. If i go for a preganancy test and find that am positive how do do away with that, the pregnancy is less than a month....
A. 30 October 2007: After you get a positive pregnancy test your healthcare provider can refer you to a clinic where you can get a termination.... (read in full...)
Now that roommate and I live separately, time to try a relationship?
Q. I'm having a difficult time interpreting a friends' actions. She and I lived together for some time and before I moved out for law school we had become particularly close/flirtatious. I had never thought it was a good idea to pursue anything ...
A. 29 October 2007: From what you have said so far I think that she is interested but she is worried that her pursuing a relationship with you may affect her friendship. Which is true. Maybe you should tell her how you feel, if she is willing, have a talk with the two ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend cheated and now I don't trust him?
Q. Hiyah, well this is probably gonna be reali confusin n long and you're all gonna think omg when you read it but its worth a go.. I'm 13 and I got with my bf in feb.. at the beginning everything was fine.. I trusted him round other girls and when ...
A. 29 October 2007: It sounds like this guy is doing what young guys do, they play the field. You and he are too young to be in a relationship anyhow. It sounds like he makes you sad more often than he makes you happy. That is not a good sign. Maybe you should ... (read in full...)
How I might effectively flirt?
Q. I seem to have a problem when it comes to effectively flirting and just walking up to someone and starting a conversation......any suggestions of like good conversation starters? and any suggestions of how I might effectively flirt? thanks 4 ur ...
A. 29 October 2007: Smiling, a wave will not hurt, get into the habit of saying hello. Even if you are not interested just say hello, it won't hurt to practice on a random stranger. And if you have a pleasant look on your face you will look more approachable. FYI:... (read in full...)
Where do I go from here in terms of staying friends with my ex?
Q. Where do I begin? Amidst the end of my summer of 2007, my girlfriend of 3+ years decided to call it quits with me. We had a typical relationship with the usual tumultuous times that any relationships goes through, but for the most part, we enjoyed ...
A. 29 October 2007: It sounds like your relationship has run its course. It is time to let go and move on. I would not continue contacting her and trying to reestablish a friendship. I say send her a Christmas card, and you can be polite if she contacts you but I would ... (read in full...)
I'm truthful, he lies. I don't understand him
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 8 months ago and have remained close friends. We both date other people, but still hang out alone and end up sleeping at eachother's houses a few times a week. I am truthful with him about what I do, he lies a lot. ...
A. 29 October 2007: It sounds like he is trying to keep you happy so that the sleepovers can continue. He is getting his cake and eatting it too. He is continuing his relationship with you without the commitment, and he gets to still have his freedom. If I were you I ... (read in full...)
She's 15 and sleeping with an older man... what can I do?
Q. my daughter is 15 and i just found out she has been having sex with a 26 year old man and i just don't know what to do she said they are in love but she is only 15 she don't know what love is please please please help me!!!!!!...
A. 29 October 2007: I think that maybe you should speak to your daughter as if she is an adult, after all she is doing adult things. Let her know that what this man is doing is illegal and he can be arrested. Do not threaten her but make it clear that you do not ... (read in full...)
He's 22 months old and he had a fright in the tub. How do we help him get over this?
Q. My son is 22 months old. My wife and I have developed a good routine with him at bed time. Bath,milk/story,bed followed by 12 hours sleep. It was all going well until a few weeks ago when he was being bathed by his Nan. He slipped over in the bath ...
A. 29 October 2007: Maybe, you should try a bathtime toy. Let him play with the toy throughout the day and try to convince him to join the toy for a bath. ie. rubber duck. Are you filling the tub completely? Try a very small amount of water and gradually increase.... (read in full...)
Should I 'Quit it'?
Q. I am currently 18, and I'm dating this 40 year old who used to be my teacher in high school. My grandma and aunt heard about us, and told me to "quit it" because it just isn't acceptable. We've been dating for a total of 6 months now, and I must ...
A. 29 October 2007: Age difference can sometimes be a very important issue, not immediately but years into the relationship. My husband is 8 years older than me and we are at two different stages in our lives, we love each other a lot so it works but there are times ... (read in full...)
Her lack of communication is killing me - what can I do to get through to her?
Q. I have been (living) with my current girlfriend for 10 years this coming xmas, and last year we finally bought some property together. It seems though, that ever since this happened, her attitude to me has changed. She has become colder, never re...
A. 29 October 2007: I think that inviting this male friend out for dinner sounds like a good idea. Butinstead of going behind her back emailing him you should have her call and invite him. See what type of reaction she gives you. In addition to that you should suggest ... (read in full...)
I was told to 'go back to africa' by my boyfriend - am I over reacting by breaking it off?
Q. Till recently i was in an interracial relationship (black and white). My boyfriend and I got into a political discussion and he told me to go back to Africa and I broke it off. Some of my friends say it was just a slip of the tongue and it's no big ...
A. 26 October 2007: I know I am a little late but I just wanted to add my two cents. You have received some very good advice from the aunts. Some of them I agree with and some of them I do not. Now, first of all I do not know you personally so I do not know whether or ... (read in full...)
I'm new at adult dating, advice on if he likes me or not?
Q. So here is the thing. I broke up with my boyfriend after four years a month ago. The last time I was single I was a teenager. Dating has changed a lot since then! I met a man at my local watering hole and we really hit it off. We had a dew ...
A. 26 October 2007: In my opinion I do not think he is too interested. I think the reason he came and chatted with you was because he did not want to seem rude or hurt your feelings. I could be wrong but that is just how it seems. He hasn't made any real effort to ... (read in full...)
What is the right age to start having sex?
Q. What age do you think people should start having sex? People i know still havent had sex yet but im not sure if that is better or should you start young? ...
A. 26 October 2007: Everyone is ready at a different age. When you are ready you will know. Sometimes our body thinks that we are ready but mentally and emotionally we are not. So before you decide to have any type of sexual relationship think about are you just ... (read in full...)
I love her with all my heart...i just wish id met her later in life.
Q. Okay, here's the situation, folks. I'm in a committed relationship with a woman I love. We're both in our late 20's, we've dated for nearly a year and we've just moved in together. My girlfriend really is my best friend and she's the closest thing ...
A. 26 October 2007: Yes, I think that it is too late. I think that this is something that you should have worked out with your girlfriend before things got serious. Now that you are ina committed relationship the only solution is for you to either end it and hope that ... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to stand my ground??
Q. Hey everyone, I'm the kind of guy that i don't care where my gf goes im in anohter country and i have been away from her for over a year. I'm back in 2 months but i don't think i can get passed this next obstacle. She wants to go to a Hallowee...
A. 26 October 2007: I think that it might not be a good idea for you to tag along with her and her friends. As long as she saves some time for you and you did not make any plans with her, call up your guys friends and have some fun of your own and make plans to meet up ... (read in full...)
He wants me but I don't want him.
Q. to cut a long story short basically i went out with a guy during our summer holidays [around july/august time] and we split up due to non commitement from him. but now it seems he wants to be back in my life. my question is what to do as i am no...
A. 26 October 2007: Be honest, tell him that you are not interested and have moved on with your life. Do not take his calls or reply to texts from him. He will eventually get the hint. ... (read in full...)
How can I get off with him without upsetting my friend?
Q. I fancy my friends' boyfriend. But it's not as simple as that. She Doesn't fancy him much. She said so herself. She Doesn't want to dump him because he's 'sweet'. but i acctually like him properly. i also think he likes me to, but i dont want to do ...
A. 26 October 2007: Do you think he is worth losing your friendship? Feelings are one thing but acting on them takes it to another level.
If you are a true friend you will leave him, and find someone just as nice that is not involved with your friend. ... (read in full...)
Is this a mid-life crisis?
Q. i am very attracted to a young lady working in my office as an intern.i call her to my office on any excuse i can think of. We do have long conversations about any topic that comes up.We do enjoy talking to each other i believe. My problem is how to ...
A. 26 October 2007: I agree with eyeswideopen, you are playing with fire on this one. First of all you are married. Second you are her boss. There are to many things that can go wrong with this equation. If you are unhappy in your marriage get some counseling and if ... (read in full...)
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