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... Send *ockelle a private message | | | *ockelle's profile:I am 26 years old, married with one child. I live in New Jersey and my passion is writing although I do have a full-time job in another field. I give advice to all my friends, and family only when thay ask of course. I try to be as honest as possible when I give advice because when I ask a question that is what I want to hear. |
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I'm afraid to tell my bf I'm pregnant. I'm 16 and he's currently in another country until June.
Q. A little help here guys? Okay im 16 years old and 4 weeks ago my boyfriend moved to another country, to be back sometime between January and June!! BIG problem. Today i found out, im six weeks pregnant, definatley my boyfriends i...
A. 16 November 2007: Good Luck. I am happy things went well for you!... (read in full...)
Problems With On off Lover
Q. Hi I'm new to the site and have been looking around at all the posts and need some help myself. Ok, I met the girl of my dreams about 9/10 years ago and we fell head over heels in love and things were great between us. She was my soul mat...
A. 15 November 2007: Now may not be a good time to lay it all out for her. This must be a very hard time for her so the best thing for you to do is be supportive, and give her a shoulder to lean on. Who knows this whole situation might make her open up her eyes that to ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 14 November 2007: Well, I am sorry for jumping to the conclusion that you weren't on birth control. After the additional info that really makes a difference and I am sure it makes your decision making process more complicated. Your doctor should have told you about ... (read in full...)
Problems With On off Lover
Q. Hi I'm new to the site and have been looking around at all the posts and need some help myself. Ok, I met the girl of my dreams about 9/10 years ago and we fell head over heels in love and things were great between us. She was my soul mat...
A. 14 November 2007: I think that you need to be very clear with her about what you are expecting from this relationship. It sounds to me like she wants to have the best of both worlds, and unfortunately that is not healthy for the relationship. Instead of waiting it ... (read in full...)
I don't feel sexually attracted to my husband of 4 yrs. I'm not sure I can go on when I don't enjoy kissing and sex.
Q. I'm feeling very confused. I have been married for 4 years and have a beautiful 19 mth old girl. My problem is I don't feel sexually attractive to my husband. I don't enjoy kissing him and I don't enjoy having sex with him. He watches a lot of ...
A. 14 November 2007: I think counseling is a good idea. You need to get to the root of the problem. Sex is a big part of relationships and you deserve to be satisfied sexually. Usually when sex takes a turn for the worst there is another problem that needs to be ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 14 November 2007: OK, I am going to tell you something first then I will comment about him. THIS IS YOUR BODY! You only get one body. If you did not want to have a baby right now why didn't you get on birth control? You cant just keep putting your body through ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting funny towards me?
Q. I'm 16 and my bf is 18 Monday I told him im pregnant(3 months) he was mad/happy he was mad because i'm just telling him plus b/c 2 weeks ag o he asked me was I pregnant and I said no(but I lied) and today he came to my house to see me he was rubbing ...
A. 14 November 2007: Why did you lie? That must have sent up several red flags for him. If you lied about that then he is probably thinking what else has she lied about. That is a serious situation nothing to joke or tell stories about. I hope that you have learned ... (read in full...)
She sent nude pictures of herself to this other guy. Will I get over it?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years and living together for three. Last month she moved out and got an apartment because she said I wasn't ready to move forward with the relationship and I had been taking her for granted. I told her...
A. 14 November 2007: Will you get over it??? That is a question that you must ask yourself. I hope that you can get over it. You said that she hurt you but you did not say that dont love her. We all make mistakes some worst than others but we all do it. That is ... (read in full...)
Is there a reason he's keeping me a secret from his friends and family?
Q. the family of my boyfriend does not know about me!! my boyfriend is 36 years old and im 21, he is a trustworthy men, really honest... sometimes too much, some months ago something was happening, relative often he was telling me stories about hi...
A. 14 November 2007: I do not think that you are overreacting. It sounds to me like he may be trying to protect the ex-girlfriends feelings and does not want her to know that he has moved on. Are you sure he is not involved with her any longer? If you are good enough ... (read in full...)
Relationship is over and I am looking for closure. Should I send her back her ring and momentos?
Q. Hi I wonder if you can help. I now know that my relationship is now definately over and I'm looking for some closure. I still have some photo's and bits and pieces belonging to my ex. I was thinking of mailing them to her with the engagement ring,...
A. 14 November 2007: I would leave it as it is. The only reason why you are sending these things back to her is because you want to hurt her. The most effective way to get back at someone who has hurt you is to recover and be happy. If she asks for the things fine send ... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex a couple of days before my period, my period came; could I be pregnant?
Q. hey people, this might be stupid just need to ask whether i could be pregnant, i slept with my bf a couple of days b4 i came on my period, using no protection and he came in me, then when im on my period 3 days into it we did it again n he came ...
A. 14 November 2007: Yes, you could be pregnant. If I were you I would go to the Dr. and look into another form of contraception aside from using condoms. If you are not using condoms every time you need to be on the pill /shot/ring to prevent an unplannned pregnancy.... (read in full...)
He says he will get therapy but will he change??
Q. Last week i found out that my boyfriend of 3 months cheated on me and when i confronted him he denied it he was crying hysterically and we tried to talk about it. He finally admitted to cheating once with 1 girl but claims he doesnt know what hap...
A. 13 November 2007: He is talking about marriage and you have only been with him 3 months? He has already cheated in 3 months? Counseling after only 3 months?
If I were you I would leave this guy alone. This is only the beginning and you guys have gotten off on t... (read in full...)
Is this just friendliness?
Q. Heyy, Righhtt soo i likee thisss boyy, ( alot ) ivee been with some other guy but i had to brake up with him beause i liked this boy. He does have the reputation to ''use'' girlss, and one of my mates says i shouldnt get involved with him and ...
A. 13 November 2007: The best way to find out the answer to a question is simply to ask. Ask him if he is interested. But if he has a reputation about using girls I would be very cautious and take things slow. ... (read in full...)
How do I keep my boyfriend away from this gay guy?
Q. i have a huge problem my best friend "guy" is inlove with my boyfriend!! i know my best friend for 6 years through this years i didnt know he was gay and actually i knew my boyfriend from him and because of me they are really good friends and i hate ...
A. 13 November 2007: Whether your best friend is gay or not does not have anything to do with boundaries. Friends share a lot of things but not lovers.Have you mentioned how you feel to your friend? You say that you do not think that your boyfriend is gay so what is the ... (read in full...)
We both have an official partner and children. We've had occasional sex and suddenly he stops the affair. I think he's hiding what he really feels?
Q. I briefly had a connection with a guy 4 yrs ago. It didnt end on the best of terms.4 yrs later he tracked me down-literaly and we exchanged numbers. We have been texting to each other for the last 6 months and having occasional sex. We have great ...
A. 13 November 2007: Its soudns to me like he got the "occasional sex" that he "literally" tracked you down for. Now after all was said and done was it worth it? This guy doesn't even have enough respect for you to call and tell you he can not see you anymore. What a ... (read in full...)
What are women like
Q. i am 22 years old but still i dont have girlfriend.even i dont know how to asking girls for love .what am i suppose to do?...
A. 13 November 2007: Love is something that you do not have to ask for. It just happens. When it does it will hit you like a bolt of lightening(but in a good way) Try asking a girl out and dating, going out with your friends and having fun. Eventually you will meet ... (read in full...)
Will he ever leave her?
Q. Please help me im in love with a married man who doesnt live near me. We see each other often. We have been together 6 month they have only been married 4. Will he ever leave? I want to move to be closer to him but dont think he would agree. ...
A. 13 November 2007: If he was dating you but married her what does that tell you? It does not take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. He made his choice when he decided to get married, unfortunately it wasn't you.... (read in full...)
I'm gay, I fancy this guy at work, I think he may fancy me as well, but he's said he's straight, should I just ask him if he's interested?
Q. i am a gay male and i have a crush on a m8 in work. we hang around together in work and he knows i'm gay but he is straight (so he says). we went for a drink on our break last fri and back in wrk he was a bit tipsy and he asked if i wanted to go for ...
A. 13 November 2007: Does he send any signal to you that he is interested in that way? Where did you sleep when you spent the night? Does he have a girlfriend? Have you kissed, held hands? This guy may just like to hang out with you and look at you as just a friend, if ... (read in full...)
How to contact this girl via MySpace or this mutual friend without seeming stalker-ish?
Q. This past June I left for Basic Training and Infantry school for the Army National Guard. Three days, yes three, before shipping out, I saw the most gorgeous girl at my college. Normally I am extremely shy around girls, but with me leaving in 3 ...
A. 13 November 2007: Just send her a friend request, or a message just saying hi. So many people have sent me request that saw me on someone elses page, that is not being a stalker. Now messaging about ten times a day that is stalker-ish. Just send her a message if you ... (read in full...)
I can't let go of him. How did I get tangled up with this loser?
Q. so i am in the worst situation i can imagine. i thought i was smarter than to get in a relationship with the biggest loser ever but i guess not and now im stuck and i need someones help. "Sam" and i have been together for almost a year. ON and Off....
A. 13 November 2007: OK this sounds like a classic case of good girl bad boy syndrome. The first time he hit you that should have been enough. In the beginning you mention all these good qualities you have but obviously you do not think very much of yourself if you keep ... (read in full...)
She's not so intuitive as me. Do I tell her?
Q. My friend and I get on very well, but lately it's beginning to feel like I'm the one who always solves all her problems, I'm the one she comes to for advice, I'm the one she comes to for a shoulder to cry on. I don't mind any of this in the ...
A. 13 November 2007: I have the same problem with everyone in my life. Everyone calls me and ask me for advice and help and when I have a problem no one notices. Everyone thinks that I have the answer to everything. Some people are really good at keeping themselves ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to tell my bf I'm pregnant. I'm 16 and he's currently in another country until June.
Q. A little help here guys? Okay im 16 years old and 4 weeks ago my boyfriend moved to another country, to be back sometime between January and June!! BIG problem. Today i found out, im six weeks pregnant, definatley my boyfriends i...
A. 13 November 2007: If he is OK with it, then you have no reason to be afraid to tell him. Whatever you decide to do it should be a decision that you and the father should make together. So call him up and give him the news.... (read in full...)
My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 13 November 2007: No, that is not weird. I am happy to hear that there are still some decent respectable women out there. She was right, get things sorted out with your wife first as far as the divorce etc. then move on. I am glad that you showed her that you were ... (read in full...)
She lies all the time to get attention. We broke up and now my friends have ditched me. How do I solve this?
Q. dear cupid....there's this friend of mine who lies to get attention.....recently me and her broke up because she found out about how i've been telling other people behind her back about how she constantly lies.....but she lied to people saying how ...
A. 12 November 2007: Eventually, someone else will notice how much of a liar she is. In the mean time I would stay away from her. it is no fun having a friend who lies constantly b/c you never know what to believe. in my opinion you have saved yourself lots of ... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel pregnant??
Q. hI i'M 19 and 11 weeks pregnant with my fiance of 2 years and we've decided to keep it but my question is why don't I feel pregnant? I mean I'm not showing much and I havent had my first scan yet because we only decided to keep it recently and my d...
A. 12 November 2007: Lucky you! When I was pregnant with my son I was as sick as a dog all day long. I spent all morning with my face in the toilet. For 6 months this went on, I lost so much weight my first trimester, noone could tell I was pregnant until I was well ... (read in full...)
Am I jealous of my fiance
Q. Can someone please help? My fiance broke up with me citing jealousy issues, she was 4 years older than me with a child of 14 years. He recently went to a private school as he has special needs. Since then, it seemed that my Fiance found a new ...
A. 12 November 2007: It does not sound like this woman is ready to settle down and get married etc. She sounds like she wants to be out having fun with friends instead of being a mother and a wife. If I were you I would be releived that she started this behaviour b4 you ... (read in full...)
My daughter's bf is disrespectful - and I don't know how to handle this. I've taken care of my grandchildren up to now.
Q. My Daughters bf just shows no respect .. my daughter has been dating this guy for about 5 yrs they have 2 children together , My daughter and her children live with me . My one grandaughter is almost 3 and they other is abt 8 months the 8 mth has ...
A. 12 November 2007: I agree with Tellulah. Your daughter is partly responsible for his behavior. Here you are, playing the role of grandma, and dad. That is not fair to you or the children. I know that you want to help your daughter but she has two children and she ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant this way?
Q. I would like to become pregnant but my hubby won't cum inside, he says not now we are not ready but I am so I got him off with a blow job then let him cum in my hand then I went in the bathroom in put it in my vagina. Can I get pregnant like that? ...
A. 12 November 2007: Good for you. I am very happy that you decided to be honest with him! I hope that everything works out for you guys.... (read in full...)
Not sure if she wants to make us work or is planning on running away with the other man.
Q. Ok, to catchup, married a year, trying have a baby for a year, can't, wife depressed, emotional affair with a coworker, not sure if she loves me, etc. So last Monday I found out about her EA and she promised to end it. We started counseli...
A. 9 November 2007: I absolutely agree with Fade. As much as it may hurt for you to hear this I am going to be honest, the only reason I think she is still with you is because the other man was not stupid enough to leave his girlfriend to be with her. I advise you to ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my bf over the phone. He's been seeing someone younger, should I take him back if he asks me?
Q. my boyfriend and I broke up this morning on the phone. This is the second time in a year that we have broken up. The first time we remaind friends and saw each other. I don't know what to do because he is the only one that makes me happy. He has ...
A. 9 November 2007: Good for you. Now you can move on and be happy.... (read in full...)
I'm a girl and I have a moustache - how can I hide it?
Q. I am a girl and I have a bit of a moustache above my top lip. I bleach it so noboby can see it. But it worries me because it makes me feel really unfeminine. Also, I was wondering that when you kiss someone, can you feel their moustache? Have you ...
A. 8 November 2007: I was going to suggest bleaching or waxing. Bleaching tends to be very effective and unless it is very heavy you would not be able to feel it when kissing. I wouldn't worry a lot of women have the same problem. Wax it. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's family won't acknowledge me and my boyfriend won't stand up for me. What can I do?
Q. the man that i have been dating for the last three years is an enabler to his family and also a people pleaser. his family does not acknowledge me. they did acknowledge me until we broke up for a short time back in the summer. they really do not ...
A. 8 November 2007: In my opinion even though he is a people pleaser at the end of the day he is a grown man. He makes his own decisions. Noone can make him do anything. If he loves you and is as committed to your relationship as you are then he should put his foot ... (read in full...)
I've realised how much I want to be with her and that I wasnt dealing with our problems...but she thinks we are over.
Q. Hi my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and it's been great, we both love each other very much. However over the last say 2 months we have had a tendancy to have an argument about something pretty silly then get angry at each ...
A. 8 November 2007: Hello, Ive read your post twice just so that I can make sure that I did not miss anything. I think that she needs time and some space. It does not sound like she wants to reconcile. She also sounds a bit immature. Throwing beer on you in a bar! The... (read in full...)
Is the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" true?
Q. Is the saying true? Once a cheater, always a cheater?" Is it possible that the 'cheater' simply hasn't found the right one, or is it a flawed gene or something? Can a married man (for instance) find love outside his marriage and maintain that he ...
A. 8 November 2007: In most cases if someone is a cheat they will always be a cheat. There are exceptions to every rule. The reason I personally advise anyone to steer clear of a known cheater is because of the qualities that you must possess to be a cheater. 99% of ... (read in full...)
How can I get my friend to speak to me? Did I do something wrong?
Q. Hi all, would like an opinion on this please. I had a firework party the other night. Inviting all the people that I care about and all my friends. The trouble is that two of them used to date, and although they are really cool about the situatio...
A. 8 November 2007: I think that you handled the situation well. You can not control the actions of someone else. God only knows what would have happened had you thrown her out, intoxicated. She could have gotten hurt, hurt someone else or worst. You did the right ... (read in full...)
Why am I so jealous?
Q. I'm 19, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half and we're both madly in love. I just have a serious problem with jealousy! Hes a very good looking man and we were friends before we got together. I saw what he was like before when...
A. 8 November 2007: Jealousy in my opinion is a sign of insecurity. But everyone has these feelings. However it is not healthy for your relationship to be extremely jealous. I used to be a little jealous but I have learned not to worry about things that I can not ... (read in full...)
He keeps photos of him and his ex in a special box and doesn't want to throw them out but I don't like this...am I being unreasonable??
Q. Hi, I got married in June this year to my gorgeous man who I have been seeing for 5 years. My problem is this ... he has photos of an old girlfriend in a special box including photos of them kissing and he is reluctant to throw them out ... I dont ...
A. 8 November 2007: I do not think that you are being unreasonable, if I were in your situation I wouldn't be happy about the box either. But I guess if you expressed to him that you would like him to get rid of the box and he has not then what else can you say. It is ... (read in full...)
Should I move accross the US or not
Q. My ex boyfriend and I had been together off and on throughout college, but drugs often found their way between us. We are both at fault. At graduation, we spent on last night together and then I flew back to Los Angeles and it was over. We kept ...
A. 8 November 2007: I do not think that your giving consideration to relocating has any thing to do with how you feel about yourself. You are in love with him. He said that the distance was why you guys broke up. With that being said I want you to think about the fact ... (read in full...)
I'm burning myself just by loving him
Q. Hello All My problem is very very completed. About me and my bf. We've been dating for nearly 2 years and planning to get married next year. Im 29 and he's 30 this year. Before we started this relationship I didnt know that he was getting married,...
A. 7 November 2007: Ok. After reading I feel sorry for you, but only to a certain extent. Everyone deserves to be with someone who treats them with respect. Now, you are a women with a "good job" why haven't you left him yet. He hit you! He does not respect you if he ... (read in full...)
Difference between love and friendship?
Q. i was recently going out with a young lady, and a couple of dates later she said she started to feel like we were friends, even though we were kissing and eventually had sexual intercourse a couple of dates later. did she just want sex? how can u ...
A. 7 November 2007: Personally, I do not think that friends should have sexual relationships. A friend is someone that you can introduce your significant other too, there are no romantic feelings involved. Now a lover is someone that you have intimate feelings for ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my bf over the phone. He's been seeing someone younger, should I take him back if he asks me?
Q. my boyfriend and I broke up this morning on the phone. This is the second time in a year that we have broken up. The first time we remaind friends and saw each other. I don't know what to do because he is the only one that makes me happy. He has ...
A. 7 November 2007: You said that you broke up this morning on the phone then you say he has been seeing a fourteen year old for 2 days? Im confused. If you broke up with him why do you want him back? If he broke up with you for a 14 year old why do you want him back? ... (read in full...)
I feel my bf chooses his family over me and sometimes lies to see them!
Q. i am from trinidad and live with my boyfriend. we both love one another very much. but his family doesn't like me at all. he always choses his family over me and even lies to see them. i know he should get time to see them but they are a bad ...
A. 7 November 2007: I think that he should not have to sneak to see or spend time with his family b/c you do not get along with them. At the end of the day they will always be his family but you may not always be his girlfriend. So the best way to handle it is to ... (read in full...)
My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 7 November 2007: I am sorry but this women sounds like she has some serious issues. Although you may still love her lets not dismiss the fact that she is a big liar, and a thief. She has created total chaos in you household. She has abandoned her respnsibility as a ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant this way?
Q. I would like to become pregnant but my hubby won't cum inside, he says not now we are not ready but I am so I got him off with a blow job then let him cum in my hand then I went in the bathroom in put it in my vagina. Can I get pregnant like that? ...
A. 2 November 2007: How would you feel if you did not want a baby and your husband held you down and raped you and got you pregnant? You would be devastated I am sure. He has a choice, if you can not live with the decision that he has made you need to sit down and ... (read in full...)
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