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... Send *ockelle a private message | | | *ockelle's profile:I am 26 years old, married with one child. I live in New Jersey and my passion is writing although I do have a full-time job in another field. I give advice to all my friends, and family only when thay ask of course. I try to be as honest as possible when I give advice because when I ask a question that is what I want to hear. |
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I want an open relationship! Any experienced people, please let me know how you got on?
Q. Hi I have been with my guy 4 years I was with my ex 17 years Im now in my 30s with 3 children. My guy always likes the women to instagate sex ,make the first move and dress up stocking etc which I didnt mind at first but I get fed up with the havi...
A. 13 September 2007: I agree with male reader, If you are not happy with your sexual realtionship there could be an underlying problem. Sex is a physical expression of love, I do not see whats the big deal about who initiates sex. Maybe his fear of rejection is a ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my ex sleeping with another guy?
Q. I want to know how to get over the fear and pain of your ex-girlfriend having sex with another guy?...
A. 13 September 2007: It shoudln't matter if she is your ex. Move on, and go on some dates with other women. You will be too busy keeping up with your own social and sex life that you will not have time to think about her and what she is doing.... (read in full...)
I left my bf of over 7 years after finding out he was member of a sex chat and hsi net profiles were stated single. Overreacting?
Q. Im 23. I left my boyfriend of 7 years just 3 weeks ago, because i found out he was looking at porn, was a member of a sex chat site (1 that i know of), and he was chatting to many girls and his profiles were stated SINGLE. I only found out due to...
A. 13 September 2007: No, you are not. If he has single on his profile obviously he is looking to meet someone. If it was innocent chatting he would not have lied about being in a relationship.... (read in full...)
He asked me to marry him, but I'm afraid he'll leave if I stay fat!
Q. i am nearly 8 months pregnant and i love my partner he has asked me to marry him i said yes but im scared i wont lose the baby weight, i've always had an issue with my weight but now its even worse, im 21 but cant go to the gym as i had major ...
A. 13 September 2007: You have nothing to worry about, a size 14 is not fat. Your main concern should be your health and your babys health. Any man who leaves his wife b/c she is fat didn't deserve her anyhow. If he really loves you it will be under any circumstances. ... (read in full...)
I lied about my age and our relationship is getting really serious! What do I do??
Q. okay let me start like this amd my boyfriend started dateing 5 months ago and i lied about my age and he is about to be 17 and im 3 years younger then him but we are like really serious about our realtionship and i dont know what to do ...
A. 13 September 2007: It is always a bad idea to start off a relationship telling lies. However, now that you have already started off on the wrong foot, you should tell the truth. If you and your boyfriend are having sex, or plan to have sex he could get into serious ... (read in full...)
He is moving again due to work and I don't know how to tell him how I feel...
Q. realy need your help it looks like the guy im love with is moving again for work. but this time i wanna tell him how i feel but i dont know how to... please help! im so close to tears even when writing this. he moved back in april but then cam...
A. 13 September 2007: I think you have wasted enough time, let this man know that you are interested in him. he may be just as interested in you. I think it is worth a try. Good Luck.... (read in full...)
Years ago, I watched a bj video with a male friend, and he offered to give me one. I was just a curious child, is this unusual?
Q. Back when I was 11 (5th grade) I had a best friend since kindergarten (Both of us males). We were both straight and would often look at his fathers playboys, or look at women on the internet. Now, one day we watched a blowjob. My friend and I won...
A. 13 September 2007: No it is not unusual for children to expirement. I know lots of children who have done things to each other, just out of plain curiosity. You are not alone. However, if it is really bothering you maybe you need to get some counseling about the ... (read in full...)
I think I've got a drug problem does anyone have any advice?
Q. i dont even no if this is relevent most questions on here are about relationships, but i think i have a serious problem and need help. ever scince i was 13 iv took extacy pills on most weekends. every weekend i would up my dose to see how bigg my ...
A. 12 September 2007: Yes you do have a problem. My advice to you is to talk to your parents and get some professional help. ... (read in full...)
Do you think the topic of when to get married should be discussed while we date?
Q. Do you think the topic of when to get married should be discuss while we date? We have been dating for 2 years already. I dislike forcing him to propose to me when he’s not ready. We are thinking about moving in together in the next 6 months. My ...
A. 12 September 2007: Yes, I think it is a good idea to discuss feelings about msrriage early in te relationship. You do not have to set a date or plan the wedding but you should express your feelings to him about getting married. But you should also keep in mind that if ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I'll cause trouble b/c his ex doesn't like me and she is friends w/ his sister!
Q. this lad i know split up with his fiance about three months ago, i was out drinking and bumped in to him and we have been texting ever since and we met up for a drink, i am just worried that it will cause trouble if we get together because his ex ...
A. 12 September 2007: You are not going to be dating his sister, so it doesn't matter who she likes. That is a choice that he has to make. If he likes you I say go for it.... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my dependable guy or go back with my ex?
Q. Should I go back to my ex? I broke up with my ex 6 months ago and miss him like crazy. I recently started dating my best friend of a year whom admitted he has loved me for a little under a year. My ex made and still makes me feel beautiful and we...
A. 12 September 2007: If I were you Iwould stay with the guys who treats me the best. A bad decision could cost you your friendship. The Ex is an EX for a reason. ... (read in full...)
How can I balance between disciplining my bf's daughter and being liked by her at the same time?
Q. My boyfriend has a daughter (age 7) from his previous marriage. She lives with her mom and I get to see her every other weekends. His daughter likes me a lot, but sometimes I don’t know how to say no to her. She likes to play rough with my boyfriend ...
A. 12 September 2007: Maybe you should show her some new games that do not involve rough playing like checkers or a barbie doll. There is nothing wrong with saying NO. Saying yes all the time will make you look like a push over which will cause more problems in the ... (read in full...)
Separated from my wife of 25 years because of her affair with my employee. I'm in a new relation and the wife's apologised!
Q. hi i have seperated from my wife of 25 years last year we have 3 children 21 17 and 8 she was having an affair with my employee, they have moved away, and now she wants to come back and live with me , i have formed a new relations...
A. 12 September 2007: I think that with some counseling you can work things out with your wife. If you are willing to forgive her for her mistake, then give it a try. Good Luck, I hope it works out.... (read in full...)
My one night stand gave me an std! He wants a relationship now. I really like him though so should I tell him about it?
Q. hi ,im 22, i first met a guy 23 yrs old at the night i wnet out with my friend we locked eyes exchanged numbers.. then after few attempts of going out for a drink one day.. we finnaly made it.. he told me he had a baby by another lady .. and i ...
A. 12 September 2007: I agree with the anonymous female reader. This guy is telling you he wants a relationship so that he can get you in bed again.Obviously this guy is bad news if he gave you an STD, you should tell him about the STD and stay away. I hope you learned ... (read in full...)
I know he wants to be with me but he can't risk losing his daughter.
Q. I have fallen in love with a guy and we really like each other, we were seeing each other and things were great but because he has got a little girl and his ex girlfriend is causing trouble for him so he has stopped seeing me, it has broken my ...
A. 11 September 2007: This guy is obviously playing games with you. His daughter is no reason to end a realtionship. He may be involved with the Ex-girlfriend and that is why he had to end it. He has rights as a father and she can not legally keep him away from his ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my cousin! Is there anything I can mix with water that will turn her on???
Q. actually i love my cousin sister and i want to have sex with her, she is married, she has two children her age is around 30yrs, i stay with her in her house,her husband will be out for business tour, please tell me how can i attract her for sex, is ...
A. 10 September 2007: Are you crazy? That is not a very good idea drugging someone to have sex with you. Maybe you need to get out more often and mingle with some women your age that you are not related to.... (read in full...)
She started a new job 10 months ago and I know her new boss is flirting with her...
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and things for the most part seem to be going great. I even bought a ring a few months ago with the intent to propose on our anniversary now 1 month away. Here's the problem. She started a new ...
A. 6 September 2007: I think that you every reason to be suspicious. If I were in her shoes I would have quickly put an end to the messages if they were not work related. If she has not told him that his behavior is inappropiate maybe she is enjoying the attention that ... (read in full...)
Last week he confronted me on some things that I've lied about during the course of our relationship.
Q. Hi all, please help. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years. We own a home together, have a 1 month old son, and I have a 4 year old daughter who he treats as his own. Last week he confronted me on some things that I've lied about during the ...
A. 6 September 2007: Maybe he just needs some time to come around. Depending on what you lied about he may come around. I wouldn't call it quits yet. If I where you I would keep my fingers crossed and try reassuring him that you love him and that everyone makes mistakes ... (read in full...)
Two months after marriage and we already have problems. Is this marriage already over?
Q. I am wondering what to do about my marriage. I am in my early 20's and I just got married 2 months ago. I am in Germany with my husband because he is in the army. So he works for the army here and I left everything from the States to come be with ...
A. 31 August 2007: Maybe he seems distant because of stress at work or something else. It may have nothing to do with him being unhappy with you. You need to communicate your feelings to him. If you want to avoid an arguement write him a letter while he is at work, ... (read in full...)
I have been having sex with a married man. He says he loves me and his family. Could he just be after sex?
Q. i have a colleague at work who is married with a 3 year old kid..i was new and got atrracted to him, i was the only one single in the office and many guys wants to court me, but i fell inlove with this married man and we see each other secretly,we ...
A. 30 August 2007: DUUUH, most extra-marital affairs are primarily about sex. I am surprised that you even had to ask that question. After all, when you are sneaking around with him he isn't making love to your brain.... (read in full...)
Can any of you relate to me?
Q. Some female advice please I'm a mid 30's guy and happily single. It's really great to have my own life and I'm really happy except for the lack of intimacy and female interaction. Right now its just not an option to be looking for a wife and I don...
A. 29 August 2007: Dear Anon, There are plenty of women who are single,sexy, and independant; who would love to have a monogamous relationship. The thing is that most women assume that when a man says he isn't ready for marriage they assume that he is saying that h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a year to live, but he wants to marry me and have a baby!
Q. This is kinda a HUGE question and i really need help, my fiancée (we have been together since we were 12 im 19 now) has just been diagnosed with lung cancer and has been told he's got about a year to live basically but they're gunna treat him as ...
A. 24 August 2007: Congratulations on the baby you are making a very brave decision. Being a mother is serious business. Who knows your boyfriend maybe around far longer than anyone expects, the Lord does amazing things. I will keep you and your loved ones in my ... (read in full...)
I just can't get over her.
Q. I've sent To questions about my being dumped by text earlier this week and the pain doesn't seem to be getting any better if anything its getting worst especially since going back to work , I've had to run to the bathroom 15 times in the last two ...
A. 24 August 2007: You need to give yourself some time to feel upset, and hurt. Thats natural when you loose someone you love, it takes just as long for you to fall out of love as it took you to fall in love. If I were you I would keep in mind that everything happens ... (read in full...)
Birthday ideas please.
Q. In two weeks it is my birthday, and i need a good party idea. something like karoke for example. I would appreciate any ideas. Thanks Xx...
A. 24 August 2007: Karaoke is fun, but to put a twist on it you should have all your guest dress up like there favorite celebrity and maybe even perform. It'll be fun. Who knows how many Britney Spears and Beyonce's will show up. LOL.... (read in full...)
He thinks he should try again, just to prove a point to her.
Q. Re: My boyfriend ex-wife is driving us crazy. My boyfriend has been divorced for 3 years, his ex-wife filed for divorce. He met me 7 months before his divorce was final and was having a very hard time. That is how we became good friend. We then...
A. 24 August 2007: If he is considering going back to her to prove a point, it could be possible that he wants her back as well. Marriage is a serious commitment and maybe he feels like he needs closure . Ultimately it all comes down to him making a decision, if he ... (read in full...)
He wants to be part of our daughters life again.
Q. My daughter's dad wants be a part of our lives, again. We've been through the court systems, etc. He signed over his rights as my daughter's dad. He's been trying to be apart of our lives for the past few weeks. We've (us and his kids) at my ...
A. 24 August 2007: I think that it is worth a try. I am sure your daughter is enjoying having him in her life again. No matter what stupid mistakes he has made 9 out of 10 his daughter still loves him.He may have realized that he made a big mistake and is trying to ... (read in full...)
What's with the sudden anal sex craze?
Q. I'm 45 and over the course of the last 4 years I have dated 3 guys and each one of them requested to have anal sex. My boyfriend of 7 years before never asked for this........what's up with the anal sex craze and why is it so much better than ...
A. 23 August 2007: I have no idea but I know a lot of people who have tried. I am not to fond of the idea but my motto is " If I can not put it in yours you can not put it in mine!" LOL.... (read in full...)
What can I do to convince him to get a divorce?
Q. He's still married and we are expecting our first child. I'm 18 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We've known each other for 5 years. We met our first day of High School when I moved to FL. We dated a little...
A. 23 August 2007: Well, I will try to be a little more gentle in my approach but in a lot of ways "anonymous" was right. Instead of concentrating on when your "Baby daddy" is going to get a divorce you should be thinking about your child. It is a bit crazy for you ... (read in full...)
Mom is flirting with my bf! Should I be concerned or is this harmless fun?
Q. Help! My mother has been flirting with my boyfriend ever since she met him. I'm not sure if he's interested in her, he says she's too old for him even though she looks hot for her age. Sometimes when he comes over to visit she'll take him out to ...
A. 23 August 2007: I hate to be the one to say it but your mom is a slut, and yes she is sleeping with your boyfriend. As hard as it may be for you to believe she is. This woman has violated your relationship as mother and daughter, and she has disrespected you as a ... (read in full...)
Not so much a question I suppose - more of a cry from the heart - even doing the right thing can hurt like hell.
Q. Does knowing the answer help the heartache? In short, I'm married, she's married, both have kids and work together. Recently we told each other how we felt - head over heels in love - and have been meeting after work or at lunchtime - purely to talk ...
A. 21 August 2007: You are absolutely right, the easy thing to do would be to sneak around and have a complicated love affair and risk losing your family. You are doing the right thing, it may not be easy but you have a commitment to your wife. Maybe you should ... (read in full...)
My new guy is not quite divorced yet. Is it ok to date him?
Q. Hi, I need advice. I am currently seeing a really great guy who although he says he is seperated from his wife and at the point of divorce is still living in the house with her. He says they have separate rooms and he is always with me. I don't ...
A. 21 August 2007: I agree, with the two aunts before me.This guy could be taking you for a ride. Do not take that chance. i do not advise any women to date a man who can not tkae her to his place. Not just because he is married, but because he has not experienced ... (read in full...)
She finally left him and I want to know how to start dating without being insensitive
Q. The girl I've been interested in for the past four months told me yesterday that she's finally split up with the father of her kid. She had tried again with him after going out with me for a few weeks. It was so hard at first but I accepted her ...
A. 21 August 2007: Sounds like you have answered your own question. Give her some time but let her know your offer still stands and you are still interested. If the feelings are mutual she will let you know when she is ready.... (read in full...)
We have split up because of my son.
Q. Hi All, New to the site. I have a problem. Basically I love my wife very very much we have been married about 5 years and it is my second marriage. Everything was great until xmas. My first wife threw my eldest son out [aged 14] and I agreed he ...
A. 21 August 2007: I think that you should express to your wife how much you want to work things out with her. Maybe you, your son, and his step-mom should attend counseling together. Maybe he will lighten up on her when he sees that she is making an effort to help ... (read in full...)
Are we using each other?
Q. Please a man's point of view I have a situation that is forever nagging at me. The man i love is married. We were friends and dated before he got married. It did not work out because we were neither emotionally ready for a relationship. Wh...
A. 21 August 2007: What happened to having morals? And what happened to being a descent women? How would you feel if the situation was reversed? You both have to make a decision and stop playing with other peoples feelings.... (read in full...)
My 30 year old boyfriend can sometimes be immature... any tips?
Q. My boyfriend is 30 and I am 35. We have been together about 18 months. I am concerned because he is a very different person around his friends than he is with me. I know that we are all slightly different but he seems to use different language ...
A. 21 August 2007: My husband is 35 and I am 26. I have to sometimes remind him that he is an adult with a job, a mortgage, and a kid. In a way I feel a little jealous that he has held on to his young spirit whereas I have grown up over night sometimes I feel like an ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that dearcupid makes you paranoid?
Q. Am I the only one that finds that dearcupid makes me paranoid reading about all the different questions people ask(cheating with bosses, having sex with brothers and sisters etc) Am I the only one or does anyone else feel that dearcupid makes you ...
A. 21 August 2007: I am never paranoid by this site. Disturbed by some of the things I read yes. I think it is a good way for people to vent, or get some advice to questions that they would be otherwise ashamed to ask. It offers a great service to our young people. ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and want a baby!
Q. Hi everyone. My name is Robyn and I'm 17. I've been going through a lot lately and I don't know what to do. All last year I was very ill and I thought at one point I was pregnant. When I found out I wasn't, I was devastated. I want a baby so ...
A. 21 August 2007: I think that you should stop thinking about what you want for a second, and think about the child. As a parent you should do what is best for the child. Right now you are not ready. Listen to all the good advice and do you and your baby a favor and ... (read in full...)
I slept with my ex (who has a girlfriend and a baby)... now I've found out I have genital warts - how can I tell him??
Q. i recently slept with my ex who has a girlfriend and a baby and i just found out i have genital warts. how can i tell him without people gettin hurt...
A. 21 August 2007: You should have considered other people getting hurt before you slept with him. Either way the right thing to do is to tell him. I feel sorry for the girlfriend, he has probably passed them to her. ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, 8 months pregnant, the father of this baby has left me! So many problems..I need advice badly!
Q. Hey, so im 14 8 months pregnant and for the first time im doubting if i want this baby, my ex who i was with for a year and 6months well he left me, spread lies about me denied he was the dad then refuses to speak to me, hes making it so hard, ha...
A. 28 July 2007: Most importantly, if you are in pain you should see a Dr. Now, that you have made the decision to keep your child your biggest worry is no longer this dead-beat dad, it should be your baby. Being a mother is going to one of the most rewarding ... (read in full...)
He wants to stop using protection. Does that mean he wants a baby?
Q. The other night me and my guy for about 2 yrs had unprotected sex and he always use to want to use protection because he said he didnt want to have another kid right now. Now he is saying if it happens it happens we will deal with it. What should I ...
A. 27 July 2007: Well, just b/c he does not want to use protection does not mean that he wants to have a kid. To be honest with do you want a kid??????? Not to mention that there are bigger issues than kids when it comes to sex. You guys should take a trip to a ... (read in full...)
What's the problem?
Q. I had a baby 3 months ago. I just found out I am pregnant again. I am happy because I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age to play with etc. I feel that it will make her happier, I also really love being a mom. I am not married to t...
A. 27 July 2007: I disagree with the person who believes that there is nothing wrong with having children out of wedlock. There is something very wrong with that concept. SEX, creates children not families. Marriage creates a family. If this man loves you, instead ... (read in full...)
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