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... Send *ockelle a private message | | | *ockelle's profile:I am 26 years old, married with one child. I live in New Jersey and my passion is writing although I do have a full-time job in another field. I give advice to all my friends, and family only when thay ask of course. I try to be as honest as possible when I give advice because when I ask a question that is what I want to hear. |
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Is this a mid-life crisis?
Q. i am very attracted to a young lady working in my office as an intern.i call her to my office on any excuse i can think of. We do have long conversations about any topic that comes up.We do enjoy talking to each other i believe. My problem is how to ...
A. 26 October 2007: I agree with eyeswideopen, you are playing with fire on this one. First of all you are married. Second you are her boss. There are to many things that can go wrong with this equation. If you are unhappy in your marriage get some counseling and if ... (read in full...)
I have a smelly discharge. What can I do?
Q. Hi i have a problem of bad odour discharge which comes some times and it is bringing trouble when with my partner during sex. what can i do? i feel very uncomfortable about this....
A. 11 October 2007: A nasty odor and discharge can be a sign of an infection. If I were you I would discuss it with my doctor. There are lots of ways to prevent vaginal odor (over the counter products) but discharge is something different.... (read in full...)
I called my gf to vent about someone - and she took his side and hung up on me! Did I overreact? Did she overreact? Opinions, please!
Q. Hi all, I have a dilemma I hope I can get answers to and would appreciate any help I can get. My gf of 4 months and I had an argument last night over the phone. It generally began when I had a tiff with my housemates about one of them pul...
A. 11 October 2007: I also think that both of you overeacted. I would also like to point out that just because she did not agree with you does not mean that she is taking his side. That is one of the benefits of being in a relationship, you have someone to stop you ... (read in full...)
I'm having doubts - is that a bad sign?
Q. I'm 18 and a virgin. Recently though I've told my boyfriend that I was ready to have sex. At the time that i told him i was becuase i trusted him, but now due to certain circumstances i don't feel like the trust is fully there and I'm not sure if i ...
A. 11 October 2007: Have doubts is a bad sign. Losing your virginity is an experience that you will remember for the rest of your life. If you are not absolutely sure then you should wait. This is something that you will never be able to change once it is done. So ... (read in full...)
He's married with kids - what should I do?
Q. hi..ive got a man who is married with kids.. but i love him so much. im much jealous everytime he is with his family.. i feel he doesnt love me anymore.. dearcupid i really love this guy. what should i do... this situation is really hurting me....
A. 11 October 2007: Miss, the siuation is not hurting you. You are hurting you. You shouldn't have ever gotten involved with a man with a wife and children. You are jealous when he is with his family, Are you crazy? That is where he belongs. Save yourself a ton of ... (read in full...)
What makes a person worth loving?
Q. what makes a person worth loving?...
A. 11 October 2007: Everyone on this earth is worthy of love. People, animals, our enviroment and etc. One thing I have learned is that the more love you put out, the more love you will receive. If you are a good person and treat people well you can look forward to ... (read in full...)
He wanted a baby with his ex-wife... Why doesn't he want one with me???
Q. Im 19, I moved out of my parents and I now live with my boyfriend who is 37. I know there’s an age difference but it works for us. Iv dated my boyfriend for a year and a half but iv known him for over 2 years. I feel that the time is right for us ...
A. 4 October 2007: Having a child with your wife, and having a child with your girlfriend are two completely different situations. And as hard for it is for you understand, you are not his wife. He has not made a lifelong commitment to be with you. That is something ... (read in full...)
His ex wont leave him alone
Q. I have been with my boyfriend just under a year. His ex is like a thorn in my side - she won't go away! Every time she crops up, it causes conflict in our relationship. We'll forget about her, then the next thing youknow she's textigm or c...
A. 4 October 2007: Although, the Ex is initiating the contact I think that your boyfriend is enjoying the fact that she is probably regretting the mistake that she made. The fact that she ruined her relationship, with him and obviously she is not completely over him. ... (read in full...)
A group of friends - including an old crush - made a reference to my racial background among other things and laughed! What should I do?
Q. So there's this guy that I use to like last year. He was mean to me in the beginning of the year, like he'd throw salt in my hair and call me ugly and stuff. Then he started being nicer to me and stuff like that. Then this year he was being OK i ...
A. 4 October 2007: OK, first of all lets clear up the "acting black". There is no such thing as acting black, or acting white. As far as the Paul is concerned boys are so immature in highschool. If they like you they pick on you, if they do notlike you they pick on ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my sisters husband
Q. i am 18yrs old, i m in luv wth 39yrs old man(my sisters husband) and he love me too. but he is married and has a kid. the worst part of it is that we live in the same house. He is nice and lovely. He respects me a lot, but sometimes when we are ...
A. 4 October 2007: You are sleeping with your sisters husband. That is one of the most disrespectful things that one sister can do to another. Sisters share a lot of things, but a man should not be one of them.You say he is married and has a kid like that wife he is ... (read in full...)
Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
Q. Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
A. 3 October 2007: I agree with Eddie 100%, I have answered so many post from people who are involved in scandoulous love triangles.95% of these people know that they are dealing with a person who is married or in a relationship. Anyone with comon sense would be able ... (read in full...)
What is my new wife doing and why?
Q. i am 36 years old and have been married since may 07, my wife and i have been together for 4 1/2 years of which we have had some fantastic moments.she was divorced from her 1st husband back in 2006 and we have now bought a lovely home and are moving ...
A. 2 October 2007: I am sorry to hear that your marriage has started on a bad note. THis is only the beginning. If you are willing to forgive her and work it out I suggest that you seek some counseling to work out some of the issues that she needs to work out. In ... (read in full...)
Why can I not stand to be around her?
Q. I fight with my wife constantly. I realize that right now we are under alot of stress with me working and being in law school and her being pregnant, but I am just sick of her. I'm glad I work nights and she works days and rarely see her because ...
A. 2 October 2007: Well, I can give you my honest opinion about what I think is going on. I think maybe she needs some attention. Maybe she needs you to initiate a hug or a kiss and tell her that you do not want to fight you just want to talk. I know that you are ... (read in full...)
How can you find out what your partner really thinks about you WITHOUT asking?
Q. how do you Know what your partner really thinks about you,without asking them. how do you know if he thinks your to clingy, to full etc ? plz reply?...
A. 1 October 2007: Unless your a mind reader thats impossible. If you feel that he thinks your being to clingy.... Then your probably being too clingy. I think that the most important part of a relationship is communication. If this is the person you love you should ... (read in full...)
How can I stop throwing myself at boys??
Q. I know all you readers are just going to think im a total slut and a whore and everything else you can think of but i dont know what to do about the situation im in. My parents both died in a car accident just 12 months ago and i have been living h...
A. 1 October 2007: Jess,
I have read your post, and my heart goes out to you. I have a sister your age and being a teenager now-a -days is not an easy task. You have it twice as hard, not having any parents.You have taken the first step to changing the rest of your... (read in full...)
How can I stop throwing myself at boys??
Q. I know all you readers are just going to think im a total slut and a whore and everything else you can think of but i dont know what to do about the situation im in. My parents both died in a car accident just 12 months ago and i have been living h...
A. 1 October 2007: Jess, I have read your post, and my heart goes out to you. I have a sister your age and being a teenager now-a -days is not an easy task. You have it twice as hard, not having any parents.You have taken the first step to changing the rest of your ... (read in full...)
I have fallen for a married woman at work and she feels the same. How do we proceed?
Q. Im Male 28! I've been friendly with a girl I work with for a few years. She is in her early 40's married and has children. She has recently declared her marriage is over and has been for a year unoffically. I really like her alot. I stopped...
A. 1 October 2007: I agree with Eddie...
This is a women that has a family, and families come with tons of responsibilities. I hope for her sake that you can handle it.
One more question.
Why would you want to be with a women who is willing to give up her chil... (read in full...)
Why has he changed his mind about getting enagaged?
Q. Hi, Me and my boyfriend have been together now for near 6 months. We've had a history together, we dated before and was with eachother for 2 years. We broke up and recently got back in contact with eachother after a year of not seeing eacho...
A. 1 October 2007: He's not ready.
If I were you I would be glad he that he was honest about the engagement. You are young, just because he is not ready now doesn't mean it will never happen. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't make me feel sexy! What can I do?
Q. I am happily married to my soul mate and the love of my life. he gives me everything i need and want. But he doesn't make me feel sexy. He always wants to have sex and gives me many of compliments. we talk about everything and i mean everything. we ...
A. 1 October 2007: What is so hard about ending an affair that "wasn't what you thought it would be". Be a women and be honest with the guy. ... (read in full...)
He says he has 0 interest in her but I am worried she is out to get him!!!
Q. My man friend and i have been dating about 2years and 9 months minus 2 months when we were broken up. We are now back together even though his family does not know it. The problem i have now is the following: he had a brother that was married....
A. 1 October 2007: Why are you keeping the relationship a secret? Wouldn't it be easier for your bf to just tell her he is in a relationship and he is not interested?... (read in full...)
Should I just walk away from this friend from 20 yrs ago as he is married with kids?
Q. I recently met my best friend from high school after 20 years. I was his first love and he was really in love with me but I never knew about it. He is currently married with kids but says he is not happy in his marriage. Tables have turned around ...
A. 1 October 2007: This guy is basically telling you from the beginning that he is not leaving his home, with his family. Therefore, he is not promising anything but......
Its not worth it, for the little companionship he has to offer there will be ten times as... (read in full...)
I slept w/ my crush's brother before we met. I told him about it, and now I think I've put him off!
Q. I had sex with a friend's brother before I'd met my new friend. Now I really like my friend, but I think I've put him off. He's such a great guy and unlucky in love just like me, I think something could've happned had I not told him about the si...
A. 1 October 2007: You did the right thing. Honesty is always the best policy. Hopefully, he will be able to look past what happened between you and his brother. If he can not then it might have been in the best interest for the both of you to end it before getting to ... (read in full...)
I may be pregnant with my boyfriend of 1 year's baby...
Q. I'm 21 years old and might me pregnant with my boyfriend of 1 year's baby. I told him there is a chance. I am going to the doctors today to find out. He said that he hopes it is not that. He hopes that it is something completely different but non ...
A. 28 September 2007: Everyone has a different account of labor. Mines was fairly easy four hours, some intense pain in the end, a few pushes , no epidural and I was a mom. The best decision I have ever made in my life. I was 20 my long time boyfriend wasn't ready. All ... (read in full...)
The man I'm seeing has a fiance and he's confused about his feelings. I don't want to wait, but don't want to lose him!
Q. I have been somewhat involved with a man who is engaged... We work together. I am 21 and he is 34. We started off as good friends.... im not going to get into it as everyone woman seems to have the same old boring story. Anyway, it has always be...
A. 28 September 2007: No, I personally have not been in your position. So I may not fully understand the position you are in. However, I feel that if this relationship between you and him feels so right, and it is so perfect why hasn't he left her? They are not married ... (read in full...)
My bf already has a son, but I want to have a child together. He says that he doesn't want another child, though!
Q. Hi there everyone... I'm with my boyfriend nearly 2 years now. I'm 30 and he's 33 and already has a young son who is 9 but I feel like I want a baby of my own with him. He says he doesn't want another child cos he has a son already... I'...
A. 27 September 2007: You should believe him when he says that he doesn't want another child. Although you love him I think it is best that you find a partner who wants a family as much as you do. If you get pregnant against his wishes he will be resentful, and that ... (read in full...)
My ex has a new girlfriend - how he's ignoring me! I'm deeply hurt - what should I do?
Q. My ex is ignoring me! We broke up several years ago but have always remained friends, but for the past year or so, I know he's been seeing another woman. I've never met her but I hear she's beautiful and he's very much in love. The problem ...
A. 26 September 2007: More than likely he isn't contacting you because he is concentrating on his new found love. Which is only fair. You guys gave it a try and it didn't work. Let it go. She probably wouldn't be too happy about the calls , and emails, and text messages ... (read in full...)
I don't feel the same love for my wife that I once did and I feel like I want to have sex with more women. What can I do?
Q. I've been with my wife for nearly 3 years now. We have a 9 month old baby girl who i love to pieces. However i'm just not happy with my life. I don't find my wife attractive, we get on ok but i don't feel the same love for her that i once did....
A. 21 September 2007: Before you make the mistake that so many people make and leave your wife looking for this fun and exciting single life be very careful. I think that some of the feelings you are experiencing may not be due to the fact that you are married but due to ... (read in full...)
Would girls go out with someone thats ugly but has a good personality?
Q. would girls go out with someone who is ugly but has a good personality? I'm bein honest here, i'm not very good lookin (and i'm not sayin it so people feel sorry and say i'm negative, its the truth) but i have a good personality. So would popul...
A. 21 September 2007: Yes, I have always dated not so attractive guys. I personally think people who aren't so concerned with there looks tend to be more attentive to the inside. Which is what I am concerned with.... (read in full...)
My step father pushed me into having sex, should I tell my mother? It could give her the strength to leave him.
Q. I have a serious question that needs your opinion. Was I raped or sexualy abused by my step father? It started when I was 15. He and my mother were dating for just a few months at the time and he sorta slept over alot. One day It snowed so much ...
A. 21 September 2007: I am so glad that you told her and got that off of your chest! Dont you feel better? I am so happy that you are lucky enough to have a sensible parent that was very understanding about the whole situation. Good luck to you and your mom.... (read in full...)
After a fight, he stormed out of the house and is giving me the silent treatment! It's been 2 days now - I need help!
Q. I'm 33 and have been engaged for a little over 4 yrs. We have been together alittle over 10 yrs. My fiance' and I just purchased our home last Dec. We agreed to purchase the house 1st before getting married. We are now working on our wedding ...
A. 21 September 2007: I am glad that he is being mature and talking to you instead of running away. I hope that everything works out for and you guy. Sorry, I called him a jerk but that is what he was acting like, the comments about your weight hit a soft spot for me. ... (read in full...)
After 2 years, he dumps me in a disgusting restaurant, and leaves like nothing ever happened between us!
Q. I acknowledge this is a long and possibly confusing post. I've been heart broken and think I'm losing my mind trying to rationally think about my situation! My boyfriend and i had been together for almost 2 years. Earlier this week he arranged...
A. 19 September 2007: Im sorry that you are heartbroken, and after two years you deserve better than that.
Needless, to say its going to take sometime to get over him it takes as long to fall out of love as it did to fall in. Just think, maybe this relation... (read in full...)
My step father pushed me into having sex, should I tell my mother? It could give her the strength to leave him.
Q. I have a serious question that needs your opinion. Was I raped or sexualy abused by my step father? It started when I was 15. He and my mother were dating for just a few months at the time and he sorta slept over alot. One day It snowed so much ...
A. 19 September 2007: I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you, and I hope that you tell your mother. Yes you were raped.This man is a monster. Any children that have come in contact with him could have been abused. She may be upset but she will eventually ... (read in full...)
After a fight, he stormed out of the house and is giving me the silent treatment! It's been 2 days now - I need help!
Q. I'm 33 and have been engaged for a little over 4 yrs. We have been together alittle over 10 yrs. My fiance' and I just purchased our home last Dec. We agreed to purchase the house 1st before getting married. We are now working on our wedding ...
A. 19 September 2007: Wow. This guy really sounds like a jerk. In my opinion the house was a bad move. After the comment about your weight are you serious about having a baby with this shallow person? What is going to happen when you gain weight due to your pregnancy? ... (read in full...)
He makes sure I'm completely satified when we have sex, but he never has an orgasm. Strange?
Q. I'm dating this guy i use to see when i was 17 years old, he was my first experience, I'm now 39, and he is 42 years old. he was in prison for the last 10 years. I ran into him 2 years ago when he was release he was in a drug release prog...
A. 19 September 2007: Yes that is strange. Maybe this guy is afraid of getting you pregnant are you using protection? Maybe if you were using protection he wouldn't be so afraid of the grand finale. Maybe you should talk to him and let him know that you are being ... (read in full...)
I caught my fiance and daughter getting it on in our house!
Q. I moved a long way to live with my fiance. I love him so much. My two kids came with me: son, 14 and daughter, now 20. I have caught my daughter and fiance at it in living room! I went to bed early and came back down and caught them. This has broke...
A. 19 September 2007: I hope for your sake that you are not considering staying with this man. He has caused damage to your family that can never be fixed. Do you honestly think it is wise to stay with a man who has slept with your own flesh and blood, your child!!! My ... (read in full...)
I left him b/c he told me he had plans to sleep w/ my friend. We split, now they're together! Is something wrong w/ me??
Q. I recently left my boyfriend because he was telling me that he is gonna sleep with my friends. One day after I left him, he already started dating my friend... I tried so hard to keep him, I did everything he told me to... What more am I supposed ...
A. 18 September 2007: NO, there is nothing wrong with you.
But, there is something wrong with them. I know you are probably hurt, and are wondering why your friend would do that to you. She will get what is coming to her. Now, that you aren't with the scumbag any more... (read in full...)
Should I let my 16 year old daughter sleep in the same bed with her bf?
Q. me my husband and our daughter are going on holiday for a week soon and i've told her she can take her bf who i know extremely well and have known all his life. I was just wondering what you would think if i let them sleep in the same bed. They...
A. 16 September 2007: I am sorry but I think that giving your daughter permission to sleep in the same bed with her boyfriend is not appropriate. How do his parents feel about that? If they want to have sex they will, whether you give permission or not. They will find a ... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 16 September 2007: Yes, you are being stupid to be quite honest with you. Whether the sex was consentual or not that was before she was married to you therefore it should not matter. You should appreciate the fact that she trusted you enough to tell you about those ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden he wanted space after 3 years, is it over?
Q. I was living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and all of a sudden he wanted space, so i moved out. Two weeks later he said that it was best that we weren't together. We have an awesome relationship and get along great and talked about the ...
A. 16 September 2007: This guy sounds like he has called it quits already. Maybe it is best that you have no contact with him b/c obviously he needs to figure out what he wants to do with himself. I know it may be hard but you deserve to be with someone who is just as ... (read in full...)
I aborted the child of a married man I had an affair with... What would you do?
Q. i had an affair with a married man for one year. i fell pregnant and he said it wasn't the right time for us to be having children but we would when i no longer worked with him and i had my own flat. i had the abortion, reluctantly but then he ...
A. 16 September 2007: I am sorry sweetie, but you got exactly what you asked for. Married men are bad news!!!!! He was using you and had no intentions on leaving his wife to be with you. He wanted you to have an abortion b/c that would have probably ruined his marriage. ... (read in full...)
I want an open relationship! Any experienced people, please let me know how you got on?
Q. Hi I have been with my guy 4 years I was with my ex 17 years Im now in my 30s with 3 children. My guy always likes the women to instagate sex ,make the first move and dress up stocking etc which I didnt mind at first but I get fed up with the havi...
A. 13 September 2007: I agree with male reader, If you are not happy with your sexual realtionship there could be an underlying problem. Sex is a physical expression of love, I do not see whats the big deal about who initiates sex. Maybe his fear of rejection is a ... (read in full...)
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