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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I don't know if my husband married me because he loved me or because I was all that was left. We've been married for two years. We started dating when I was 16 he was 19, I fell in love with him right away but didn't say anything. We had both just gotten out of long bad relationships so we decided to just be friends with benefits, "Keep it casual" As casual as we kept saying we were, we hung out all day everyday. We called things off twice due to his x-gf drama but eventually got back together. He was the one to initiate getting back together both times and many times after that cuz of loosening contact with each other. I NEVER called him, I always kept it if he wanted me he would call, there were some points he wouldn't call for 4 to 5 months. We both dated other people during this time but our deal was if you slept with someone you have to let the other know. I never slept with anyone else because I KNEW I wanted to be with him. He didn't ever say anything to me so I figured he haden't. When I was 18 I finally told him "I love you" and that I've loved him all along. His response was "I thought we were gonna keep love out of this". When I was 20 after 2 years of asking why I couldn't be his girlfriend he said that I could. 3 months later we moved in together, a month later we were engaged and 6 months after that we were married. After marriage I found out that he had 3 girlfriends while we were friends with benefits. That's why he wouldn't call for so long, also that the reason why I became his gf was because his best friend said he should get with me cuz I was faithful. He told me he loved me two months after he actually meant it (his words). We have been VERY happy and in love for the last two years. I KNOW he loves me very much! My question is should I dwell on how he ended up with me or be grateful that we are together?
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best friend, engaged, fell in love, friend with benefits, got back together, moved in Reply to this Question
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female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 I say be happy that he woke up and smelled the coffee. I am sure if he had asked anyone of those ex-girlfriends to marry him they probably would have. But he asked you, and you are living together happily as a result. Some stories do have a happy ending believe it or not. Enjoy it.
A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 Hello.
I think you are creating a problem for yourself, were there is not one, if you are still in love with each other and do not have a problem, then why would you worry, you should live in the present not think in these terms, you both should just love and care for each other and continue to be yourself, the past is dead and gone just leave it there, your relationship sound great sit back and enjoy.
hope this helps good luck.
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 Obviously if he's had three other girlfriends before - you were not his last resort. I think he really does love you, and you shouldn't wonder about how you got together. It is really not relevant. Just be happy - and make the future better than the past was.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, JaffaZ  +, writes (2 November 2007):
 I think you should just be happy that you're together. Don't dwell on the past, everyone makes mistakes and no-one can redo anything they regret. Always live for the present. Everything turned out for the best, and as long as you both love each other and are happy, that's all that really matters.
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