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... Send *ockelle a private message | | | *ockelle's profile:I am 26 years old, married with one child. I live in New Jersey and my passion is writing although I do have a full-time job in another field. I give advice to all my friends, and family only when thay ask of course. I try to be as honest as possible when I give advice because when I ask a question that is what I want to hear. |
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I deceived a married man to get me pregnant and he wants to be there for us, but I don't want him near us unless he leaves his wife, what is the right thing for me to do in this situation?
Q. I'm a single mom who had been seeing a married man for two years before his wife found out. After she found out, he broke it off with me, and we were both devestated. Then I called him a few times, and we started to see each other again, but ...
A. 19 December 2007: Lets be honest here if you had not intended for him to find out you wouldn't have told him. I do not want to seem harsh or mean but I am simply giving you my honest opinion on your situation. I put myself in your shoes and I am sure this must be ... (read in full...)
How do you handle child swearing?
Q. I just received custody of my 2 1/2 old Granddaughter. She has a bad a habit of using a bad word when she gets angry. I know she is missing her parents right now and she probably just acting out, but how do I stop her from using bad words. I tell ...
A. 18 December 2007: My son did the same thing at that age and everyone would go OOOOOOOHHHH he said a curse. So I told everyone when he says a bad word do not act so amused and I would say to him that is not how we speak to each other in this house and 2 minutes in the ... (read in full...)
I've spoilt my baby by picking her up all the time!
Q. i have spoilt my 5 month old by picking her up all the time since she was born cause she was a sick baby now i have trouble with her wanting to be picked up all the time she absolutely scrams the house down with tears and all. how can i get her to ...
A. 18 December 2007: I agree with peaches make sure that the baby is ok but let her cry. Encourage her to sit next to you but not always on your lap, get the baby used to laying down alone when going to sleep instead of laying with her. My son used to put me to sleep ... (read in full...)
I deceived a married man to get me pregnant and he wants to be there for us, but I don't want him near us unless he leaves his wife, what is the right thing for me to do in this situation?
Q. I'm a single mom who had been seeing a married man for two years before his wife found out. After she found out, he broke it off with me, and we were both devestated. Then I called him a few times, and we started to see each other again, but ...
A. 18 December 2007: Like it or not she is your childs step-mother!!!! When your child is with dad she will probably be the one who feeds and bathe your baby. If you do not give him visitation the courts will. So get used to it, and if you fight with him over visitation ... (read in full...)
I deceived a married man to get me pregnant and he wants to be there for us, but I don't want him near us unless he leaves his wife, what is the right thing for me to do in this situation?
Q. I'm a single mom who had been seeing a married man for two years before his wife found out. After she found out, he broke it off with me, and we were both devestated. Then I called him a few times, and we started to see each other again, but ...
A. 18 December 2007: I would first like to adress the anonymous female reader who was the first to reply to this post, how can you tell this women that she has done nothing wrong. Since when is sleeping with someone elses husband or boyfriend become OK. This issue is ... (read in full...)
It bothers me that he is talking to his ex. What can I do?
Q. My bf broke up with his ex about 2 years ago, but they still talk almost everyday (I check his phone, so is a fact). She dumped him after he cheated with others girls and finally with me. Well, we started to date while they were having problems in ...
A. 17 December 2007: In the first paragraph you said he broke up with her, then you say she dumped him. Which one was it? That plays a big role in the answer to your question. If she broke up with him for cheating with you he probably had no other choice but to settle ... (read in full...)
Would we make better friends than partners?
Q. Hopefully someone can help me with this as I’ve got into quite a mess. I met my boyfriend when I was 19 (I’m 25 now) and just about to go into my second year at university. I met him at home in the summer break and he was my first real boyfr...
A. 17 December 2007: You are not married to this guy, you do not have any children you do not seem to be happy so why the hesitation? This guy sounds like he is selfish and childish if you can not sit and discuss your problems with him then it sounds like there is no ... (read in full...)
My friend nearly made out with me until I asked him to stop. What was he thinking?
Q. Hi I moved to a new city one year ago and my former flatmate from my old one visited me last weekend. While the weekend was fun, it got kinda weird on Saturday night. We were watching TV and my friend sort of started touching me. We nearly made out...
A. 17 December 2007: I think your friend is interested in being more than just friends. He is single, you are single and I guess he thought his timing was perfect. ... (read in full...)
His "best offer" was that we be together after his 5 yr degree had finished. I couldn't agree. Now I feel I wanted too much and instead lost everything?
Q. Dear agony aunts out there, I would be grateful for some words of wisdom. Here is the story: I met this lovely Canadian boy while we were both at uni in the UK. We fell in love and dated but after a year he returned to Canada to undertake anot...
A. 17 December 2007: I think you did the smart thing by thinking ahead. Leaving your family and friends, moving to another country where you have knowone but a man who can only give you a promise for 5 years down the line. I am sorry that you did not get the response ... (read in full...)
What do you all think about getting back with an ex? Are we handling this in the right way?
Q. well, me and this boy use to go out with each other, but at the time we rushed into things and it just wasnt working out. we didnt talk for a while then one day we met each other in a club aboot 6 months later.. we were chatting and there was spark, ...
A. 17 December 2007: I think that if you and your ex have been hanging out and things seem to be going well it is worth a shot depending on why you broke up in the first place. Unless he was abusive, or a serial cheater I think if it feels right you should go for it. ... (read in full...)
I'd like to make myself clearer . .
Q. hi everybody,i have posted aquestion last week.the answers were good ,but i think i wasn't clear .the question was that my bf never says my name...ever,well let me make this clear.he haven't say it yet, not even ones,never...crazy ist it..so if ...
A. 17 December 2007: Is this a new boyfriend? Do you have a name that is very hard to pronounce? That could be the problem. Why dont you just ask him why he doesn't call you by your name. The best way to get an answer to your question is just to simply ask him.... (read in full...)
I got sexy underwear and my partner (62) told me I looked like a prostitute. We haven't had sex in years and we plan to get married. Please advise.
Q. My partner is not interested in sex. We have been together 4 years. At first things were Ok but got worse and worse.I tried to pep things up and got some sexy, tasteful underwear, but he told me I looked like a prostitute. We have had sex about 3 ...
A. 17 December 2007: I am positive that drinking will not solve your problem. Maybe you need to really think about this relationship and whether or not you should be looking for someone who is as interested in sex as you are. If he is not willing to try and satisfy you ... (read in full...)
He is my first date with an uncircumcised penis and that... turns me off. I want to break up, should I tell him why?
Q. I've been dating this guy for a little over 3 months now. I think he's great and want to have a long-term relationship with him. The problem is, I don't sleep with my boyfriends until we've dated a little while aad I'm sure I really like them for ...
A. 17 December 2007: After reading your post I had to laugh. I understand that you prefer a man who is circumsized if that is what you are used to, however I think that if you really like this guy that should not be grounds for you to break up with him. Maybe after ... (read in full...)
Regret doing what I did and I want her back! Advice?
Q. hi... i've been going out with my gf for the last yr... before this we knew each other for 9 yrs ... we got engaged were suppose to be married july 5 and then it happend i gave her an ultimatum... sorry bad spelling.. i regret it very deeply... she ...
A. 16 December 2007: Hopefully, you have already expressed to her how sorry you are and that you regret giving her an ultimatum. After you have told her how you feel you just need to give her some time eventually she will come around. We all make mistakes so I hope that ... (read in full...)
I'm dreading seeing him again, but I have to. How do I approach him without either of us feeling embarassed?
Q. Tomorrow I am going to be meeting up with a work friend that I haven't seen for quite some time. We both had feelings for each other but never did anything about it. I left the job to go to a different office and we texted each other a few times ...
A. 16 December 2007: Great, I am glad things went well.... (read in full...)
I'm broken hearted (unemployed) and dreading Xmas...
Q. i'm 35 yrs old and just recently split up with an ex, whom i had worked with for a couple of years before anything happened between us. last year she took a suddn interest in me after she had recently split up with her boyfriend . i was a little ...
A. 14 December 2007: I first want to say that I am sorry for the misfortune you are experiencing, and the holidays are a tough time for so many people. People who are going through break-ups , divorce, who have lost a loved one this year, people who are experiencing ... (read in full...)
Does this text message "friend" thing the same as cheating?
Q. my husband of 4 years had a secret mail friend for 2 months, they were sending each other text message on the phone and talking almost every day for that period, he says she is just a friend and nothing else, i feel very betrayed co i found out ...
A. 14 December 2007: I am a strong beleiver that there is no room for secrets in a marriage. If he is communicating with this women behind your back, then more than likely something inappropriate is going on. He may not be cheating physically, but emotionally, ... (read in full...)
I'm torn between two men!
Q. dear cupid im in love with two guys and need your help i've been dating this guy for a year, and our relationship is great, i am so in love with this guy and i can see it in his eyes that he feels the same about me, he so loving, carring, and ver...
A. 14 December 2007: It seems like you have a hard decision to make, two men that adore you and you do not know which to choose. Well, I think you should analyze this carefully before doing anything drastic if you are happy in your relationship why would you consider ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend suggested not getting Xmas presents this year... is she going off me?
Q. My girlfriend suggested not getting each other christmas presents this year. I was quite hurt. She's not into the whole buying gifts cos TV says so, she hates valentines day. Birthdays are her thing, and thats fine with me. But we did xmas fine l...
A. 14 December 2007: I think it would be a good idea to start discussing feelings, for her to spend the holidays with her firends at school instead of you is not a good sign. The Christmas present thing I can understand, but the staying with friends for the holidays ... (read in full...)
I'm dreading seeing him again, but I have to. How do I approach him without either of us feeling embarassed?
Q. Tomorrow I am going to be meeting up with a work friend that I haven't seen for quite some time. We both had feelings for each other but never did anything about it. I left the job to go to a different office and we texted each other a few times ...
A. 14 December 2007: The best thing for you to do is to face him. You will feel like a load has been taken off of you once you see him. If he mentions it just tell him that the text was meant for someone else, and you mistakenly sent it too him. But to be honest I do ... (read in full...)
Could it be that he wants to forget about me because he's going to stay with the girlfriend after all?
Q. I worked with a guy for 4 years and the entire time I had a major crush on him. I am married but not happily. And he (guy at work) lives with his girlfriend. Anyway, a few months ago he got a new job and I went out to buy him a few drinks to say ...
A. 14 December 2007: I think that this guy is blowing you off. It was ok when you had a husband and had to sneak around. Maybe he thinks you are going to try and pressure him into leaving his girlfriend and he really had no intentions to do that. There could be a ... (read in full...)
Are people interested in dating a mixed-race person?
Q. Are people interested in dating a mixed race person? the reason i ask is i am a mixed race girl , 23 years old , a virgin never had a boyfriend or date and i don't know why . my father white and my mother black. any way i would mind being with som...
A. 14 December 2007: Most people do not look at race when they are attracted to someone. What matters most is what is on the inside. I think if you feel better about yourself then you will become more attractive to other people. Never change your appearance to become ... (read in full...)
How do I help him?
Q. I fancy a guy who's being tormented by his ex, how do i help him to move on?...
A. 13 December 2007: This is something that he needs to take care of. You getting involved could possibly make his situation worst. ... (read in full...)
How should I act when I'm around his family?
Q. Ok here is the thing my boyfriend is part black and his moms side of family is black but i am not racist i just don't have many black friends next year my boyfriend has invited me to his moms family reunion and i don't know how to act. I met his ...
A. 13 December 2007: What attitude are you referring to No Luck? Just for the record attitudes come from people of all races not just black people...
Anyhow, I am sure if you are respectful and polite you will get the same in return. Unlike what the poster said all... (read in full...)
Has anyone been in this situation? What's the answer?
Q. I have a wonderful 3 yr relationship but we are from different countries (Australia and Canada). We have spent the last 2 yrs living and working between each country. We've reached the point where we want a permanent home rather than the ...
A. 12 December 2007: I haven't been in your situation but I think that if you are not willing to relocate and neither is he what are you going to do? Someone has to make the sacrifice for the relationship or you have to end it.
Good Luck... (read in full...)
Help! My husband is always talking to his ex wife!
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 2 years. I have 2 daughters from a previous relationship and he has a son from a previous marriage. His son is 6 and very sensitive. His son still has many issues about his mommy and daddy ...
A. 12 December 2007: Stepchildren. I have a stepson if I knew then the things I know now I wouldn't have ever married a man with a child. It is not the kid it is the mother, I had this vision that we would get along and try to do what is best for the children her son ... (read in full...)
Sexual texts and secret meetings but he said they did nothing.
Q. Hi, I'm glad i found this site as ive got no one else to talk to. About a month ago my fiance of nearly 4 years an who i have 2 kids with got a new job and started sneaking around and was guarding his phone. It went on for weeks so i looked at h...
A. 12 December 2007: Well, the sexual text are enough to drive anyone crazy. That was a violation of your trust all by itself. Now at this point do you wait for him to actually go out and cheat or do you suck it up and move on right now? You have caught him so next time ... (read in full...)
Flirting gone way, way too far... should my husband's co-worker be told?
Q. My husband is in love with a co-worker. She started working at his company in August 2006. He shared with me that he was in love with her in May 2007. He has always been an incessant flirt, and she probably doesn't realize how much he "gets off" ...
A. 12 December 2007: I would never give another women the satisfaction of seeing me sweat. She knows that your husband is interested that is why she continues to flirt and put up with him flirting. However, the problem is not this women it is your husband. Your husband ... (read in full...)
Why does knowing about her 16 previous partners bother me so much?
Q. OK I'm going through something really silly. It's bothering the hell outta me. My current gf who's 30 years old told me that she had 16 previous partners before me. I've had 7 before her. But it's bothering me a lot! The strange thing is that ...
A. 12 December 2007: If you love her why does it matter how many partners she has had. 17,30,40,100 Who cares. If she told you 16 it probably is 20. (That was a joke. Not Funny, but I could not help myself) But anyhow, what is important is the women that she has become ... (read in full...)
Two women, one big choice!
Q. Hi there, It's the old story: two women, who to choose? Just want some perspective. I met a girl Rachel (28) in June this year online. She is a pretty girl. We talked on MSN for a month or so and on the phone. She said that she wasn't ready fo...
A. 12 December 2007: From the way things sound, it seems to me like you settled for Samantha because Rachel was unavailable and that is who you prefer. I think you are avoiding the inevitable. Eventually, you are going to have to choose. That is the funny thing about ... (read in full...)
He says he will brake up with his girlfriend of 7 yrs but want to wait till after the holidays. What do you think, will he be lying to me too? (I'm 21, he's 35)
Q. Im kind of seeing this man whos 14 years older than me, he asked me out and we got drunk and had intercourse, the next day he told me that he wanted to be honest with me, that he has a girlfriend and said he would brake up with her soon, but he ...
A. 12 December 2007: From what I am reading the reason you are asking yourself those questions is because you feel guilty about carrying on a relationship with someone who is already taken. If I were you I would not count on him leaving her after the holidays a lot of ... (read in full...)
I'm working on getting over the break up and visuals of other women being with him, I feel robbed, betrayed and angry, help!
Q. Alright I have been on this off and on for a few weeks to see if anyone is going through something similiar and if I could get some info off of theirs. Found one or two, but not exact so im just going to go w/it. I broke up w/my boyfriend of 2 y...
A. 11 December 2007: Well, it sounds to me like you have done the right thing. Although you miss him I am sure you must be relieved to be away from him checking up on you and interrogating you. He betrayed your trust, and disrespected your relationship. It will take ... (read in full...)
I'm not going to tell my boyfriend it's not his kid. I'm confused and need help.
Q. Just a few weeks ago I stayed home from school because I was sick and was bored. So I to myspace to check my stuff and talk to my other friends who are sick too. So I checked my boyfriend's myspace in I seen he was talking to his ex. He wanted to ...
A. 7 December 2007: Are you seriously 22-25????? A 15 year old sounds more likely to ask a question like this.
After one week how do you know that you are pregnant?
After reading your post it sounds like you need to stop worrying about your boyfriend and take som... (read in full...)
I slept with my friends husband...and now I am pregant with his child!!
Q. I slept with my friend’s husband and I got pregnant and she thinks it is another man baby. I have and want to tell her because, I have to go for child support and the paper is going to get served. Should I just let her find out through him? And it ...
A. 7 December 2007: There is no nice way of saying I am having your husbands baby. If it was just sex why would you want to bring a child into the equation. A women at your age should not have put herself in a positon like this. I feel sorry for you and this child that ... (read in full...)
I don't like the way things are going.
Q. Hi!! As my name would suggest I am an Indian guy in the US, Im 22 years old, virgin, and with no real contact with girls thru-ought my life so far, so sometimes, I am really pissed off with this, and dont know how to deal with it, I think I am...
A. 7 December 2007: Is there any girl in particular that you like? Maybe you should try asking her out. Hang out with friends, join a club at school to meet new people and eventually you will meet someone. You have to open yourself up a bit, let the women know you are ... (read in full...)
Making my man happy
Q. I have been in a 5 month relationship with an amazing man who I met online. He moved from Scotland to Bristol to live with me and my daughter. He has supported me through my depression that appeared from nowhere. He often though goes into his ...
A. 7 December 2007: The best way to solve the problem is to communicate with him. Tell him exactly what you told us. If I were you I would appreciate the silence. Maybe the silence is his way of dealing with something that has nothing to do with you.The worst thing to ... (read in full...)
Am I wierd?
Q. Okay, well heres the deal.. Im an 18 year old guy.. and I recently made friends with an 13 year old girl.. but theres more to it than that. Basically I saw this girl on MySpace, and it said her age was 19.. she looked abit younger but i thought ...
A. 6 December 2007: I think that you should think long and hard about getting involved with this youg girl. You are an adult and you can get into loads of trouble if this were to go any further than just chatting. So if I were you I would keep a safe distance. ... (read in full...)
Does he lie about other things?
Q. Yesterday my bf was on his psp, and i asked him if he was looking at porn. (I know he does, he says he doesn't) anyways.. he told me no. So today i was going to use his psp for the internet because the net on my computer wasn't working right. And ...
A. 6 December 2007: If I were you I would emphasize to him how important honesty is to having a good relationship. I think that sometimes people lie unnecesarily because they try to avoid confrontations. So just tell him how you feel. I would not consider him a big fat ... (read in full...)
Is my husband hiding an affair??
Q. My husband is hiding something. We have been married for 16 months and I have had a horrible gut feeling for almost year. He is the kindest, loveliest man you can ever imagine meeting but some things just dont add up and his mood is tempramental. A...
A. 5 December 2007: You have goten so much good advice there isn't much more for me to add. However, I think there is certainly something going on with your husband and eventually it will come out. I think it would be wise to prepare for the worst at this point. Good ... (read in full...)
He dumped me saying he loved another girl...now he is saying he loves me.
Q. I have a boyfriend,and for the past week he has been trying to get rid of me b/c he was "in love" with another girl,i begged and pleaded for him not to leave me,but he insisted. When i decided to leave he asked me to come and talk to him. Now he i...
A. 5 December 2007: Obviously this guy isn't sure what love is. If you stay with him I think you are setting yourself up for heartache in the future.... (read in full...)
Torn between my gf and her brother. What can I do??
Q. I am a bisexual and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past two years and i am in love with her; however, before we got together, me and her brother were intimate. I still have very strong feelings for him and think i am in lo...
A. 5 December 2007: Why did you start dating a your x-boyfriends sister? You were asking for trouble. You need to make a decision on who you want to be with, and REALLY love. After you decide then you should stay away from and be very clear with the other person about ... (read in full...)
She initiated everything but now I feel bad because she was a virgin.
Q. I was at one of my fraternity parties, and I met a girl on the dance floor. I was incredibly drunk, so I was super-friendly. We hit it off fast, and started making out. She pulled me into a darker room, and was throwing her leg up on me, and ...
A. 5 December 2007: No, I wouldn't consider you an asshole. But what you did put you in a compromising position. This girl could have gotten you into so much trouble by accusing you of rape, her freinds where banging on the door. If I were you I would be sh***** my ... (read in full...)
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