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... Send *ockelle a private message | | | *ockelle's profile:I am 26 years old, married with one child. I live in New Jersey and my passion is writing although I do have a full-time job in another field. I give advice to all my friends, and family only when thay ask of course. I try to be as honest as possible when I give advice because when I ask a question that is what I want to hear. |
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She initiated everything but now I feel bad because she was a virgin.
Q. I was at one of my fraternity parties, and I met a girl on the dance floor. I was incredibly drunk, so I was super-friendly. We hit it off fast, and started making out. She pulled me into a darker room, and was throwing her leg up on me, and ...
A. 5 December 2007: No, I wouldn't consider you an asshole. But what you did put you in a compromising position. This girl could have gotten you into so much trouble by accusing you of rape, her freinds where banging on the door. If I were you I would be sh***** my ... (read in full...)
We never wanted this to happen...but now neither of us can bear to break it off.
Q. Hi, I am semi-happily married and have fallen for another girl. This girl is also happily married and she has fallen for me. Neither of us went looking for this since we were both in seemingly happy marriages. Now my marriage is under strain a...
A. 5 December 2007: After reading your post I am going to give you an honest opinion. I think that pursuing a relationship with this women is a bad idea. Winning her over means you walking out on your family and for her to walk out on hers. That is not the responsible ... (read in full...)
Me and my Dad argue all the time.. any advice?
Q. me and my dad yell at eachother constantly and we are barely ever nice to eachother he always annoys me and i always get mad at all the little stupid things he does and me and my mom even talk about it and she is fed up with it to, me and my dad ...
A. 5 December 2007: During your teenage years Dad can sometimes be difficult to deal with or relate to. If I were you I would give him the benefit of the doubt, even if he is annoying. He is your father and you should love him with all of his shortcomings and vice ... (read in full...)
The married woman I got involved with is having an affair with another guy at the same time!
Q. So I ended up getting involved with a married woman while I was still married about a year and a half ago. We shared everything and fell in love. I left my wife, but she remained with her husband. She proclaims how much she loves him and me too, but ...
A. 5 December 2007: I think that she could be having an affair with this other guy. She is not exactly trustworthy and faithful.If she isn't being faithful to her husband what makes you think she is going to be faithful to you? You should leave this women alone and ... (read in full...)
This older guy is ignoring my texts and emails...I'm so confused!
Q. Hi, i'm struggeling with a guy!!! I'm not with him but i think that he is my soul mate!!!! i love every bone in his body and i want to look after him!He isn't sure if he wants a relationship right now. There is a large age gap between us i'm 20 and ...
A. 5 December 2007: I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of so much attention. If you are constantly calling and texting you have to give him a chance to show some interest in you. Could this guy possibly be in a relationship or married? I think you should proceed with ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend persuaded me to shave "down there" and now maybe it wasn't such a great idea...
Q. Okay my girlfriend wants me to shave, we arent in a stage of sex but she just said she'd rather it be if we get that far. I did what she wanted duh, but well i have red bumps now and its not right, I know I didnt shave right so plz help me figure ...
A. 5 December 2007: Just a little tip in addition to peoriaman said remember to shave in the direction that the hair grows, more than likely a downward motion. If you shave against that direction it will cause ingrown hairs. And always use a clean razor (unused).But ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to 'get it out of his system'?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. We are best friends first then boyfriend and girlfriend. The number one rule in the relationship is brutal honesty. We are currently taking a break because he is depressed because of work reasons and ...
A. 29 November 2007: If I were in your shoes I do not know how I would handle this situation. Feelings can not be turned on and off like a light switch. You may agree to the seperation but you will still love him and vice versa. This will make it very hard for you and ... (read in full...)
The last thing I want to do is leave her but I'm tierd of this drama.
Q. Hey, I'm 22 and i really like this girl. We have been seeing each other for about a month and half. I made the mistake of asking her to be my girlfriend after only 3 weeks when her heart is still broke over a lad. She's so the person i been lo...
A. 28 November 2007: This girl sounds like she isn't completely over this other guy and she is using you to help her mend a broken heart. Needless, to say that bringing you into her complicated situation did not help a bit. If I were you I would seriously consider ... (read in full...)
She wants us to have sex every single night and it is wearing me out. How do I stop this crazy train??
Q. I have been dating this girl, and we have been having sex nonstop almost every night since our second date. It’s been three months now, and it’s like every night for an hour or two. I’m not as young as I use to be, and although I love it, the ...
A. 28 November 2007: LOL. I think the solution is simple just tell her in a very nice way that you enjoy her and would like to spend more time getting to know her (with her clothes on) I am sure that she will understand just be honest and tell her as much as you enjoy ... (read in full...)
Never had a good relationship, except my friendship with him. Should I accept his proposal of living together? I love him.
Q. I'm in my 20s and I had a really unsettled childhood. I experimented with drugs and drink from when I was very young and I had a on-enight-stand when i was 15 and fell pregnant with my daughter. I ended up vry deep into drugs, seriously addicted...
A. 28 November 2007: After thinking carefully about what you wrote about the relationship with your friend I think being honest is the best way to deal with any issue. If you are friends you should be able to sit with him and tell him exactly what you wrote here. The ... (read in full...)
I know what I deserve and it's not to be "the other woman" or someone's "play thing..."
Q. Trying to keep this short, I was in a relationship with "Frank" for a while before it went down hill and he cheated, we split. We were the best of friends prior to dating and did our best to stay friends through everything. Over the past year we ...
A. 28 November 2007: How important is this journal to you? Or is that just an excuse for him to see you and try to draw you right back in. Knowone wants to be second best. So if I were you I would decline his invitation to meet altogether because when you start to have ... (read in full...)
Is he being too impaitent with me??
Q. hi, I met a man on a dating site he asked to get to know me, then i agreed. We have been talking for 1 month and a half now on the phone for hours and chatting on line too for hours. He introduced me to his sister and mum. The problem now is that ...
A. 28 November 2007: It sounds to me like he is rushing in too fast. I believe that you are right to be honest and ask him to give you some time. Just because you are not head over heels for him now doesn't mean that it will not ever happen. If he can not be patient ... (read in full...)
I know he has moved on, so why can't I?
Q. Well all these feelings started last night when I went to a concert, and saw at least 20 people who resembled my ex boyfriend, once of which, my friend was getting close with. It sort of hit home that I'm not over him yet, and I really miss how it w...
A. 27 November 2007: I do not advise you to go out looking for annother relationship to get over him,at the end of the day you know what is really in your heart. As long as it took you to fall in love, it will take just as long to fall out. That is ok, that is all ... (read in full...)
We have been intimate for 4 yrs yet he is awful to me in public and denies we have a relation. Why?
Q. I have been sleepin with this boy for 4 years but hes awful to me infront of people and denies sleeping with me?...
A. 27 November 2007: It sounds to me like this guy is using you for sex. Your feelings may be hurt but what you need to do is get him where it hurts...NO MORE SEX. Obviously that is all he is after so stop taking his calls, and leave him alone. Its just that simple like ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent
Q. My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent. I have always been faithful to my wife, but we have on a few occasions attended swingers parties and through them hooked up and had sex with other couples. We have been married fou...
A. 27 November 2007: I think that you need to discuss with your wife how you feel about this particular situation. You should tell her why you do not feel comfortable with her sleeping with this guy and why it is so different from when you were "swinginging" together. ... (read in full...)
Is she serious?
Q. Hi, I am 23 years old, i met a woman online, at first it was just fun and as the relation got deeper and longer i felt more and more for her, she is sweet and lovely, she got 4 kids, the youngest one is older than me by two years, i dream to meet ...
A. 26 November 2007: Well, I hope that everything works out for the two of you!... (read in full...)
My husband is cheating with a 20yr old, but I want to stay together for the kids, how can I deal with his cheating?
Q. My husband of almost 14 years is having an affair with a 20 year old for about a month now. He says he loves me but not in love with me, which is confusing to me since we still have sex. I want to work things out not only for us but for our ...
A. 21 November 2007: One other thing I forgot to address was this women that comes from a strict catholic family... Anyone who was raised in strict catholic family shouldn't be having an affair with a married man. But she is not the one who is married, she did not make ... (read in full...)
My husband is cheating with a 20yr old, but I want to stay together for the kids, how can I deal with his cheating?
Q. My husband of almost 14 years is having an affair with a 20 year old for about a month now. He says he loves me but not in love with me, which is confusing to me since we still have sex. I want to work things out not only for us but for our ...
A. 21 November 2007: I think that it is time for you to make a sensible decision about how you want to spend the rest of your life. I do not know all the details so I will just give you my opinion from what I have read so far.The issue is not about the other women, or ... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex this chance to clarify or continue ignoring him? I'm happily married and do not want to upset my husband or my parents.
Q. hi guys iam married n happy, the problem is my ex.he tried to contact me many times but couldnt, then started callin up my friends i told them to tell him that i have nth to do wth him, now iam home wth my parents and he started callin me here.i d...
A. 21 November 2007: I wouldn't have any contact with him whatsoever. You said you do not remeber knowin him so whatever he needs to tell you can not be that important. I would ignore him .... (read in full...)
How can he stay with a woman he doesn't love?
Q. i am so confused i just dont know what to do i have been recently having an affair with a married man (i am separated) .I have 2 children and he has 2 children. We knew each other many years ago and started a relationship but went our separate...
A. 16 November 2007: You are acting as if you are the victim. I will not dare compare your child that is a product of an extra-marital affair to his children that he has with his WIFE. Many people may disagree but that child will never mean as much to him as the ... (read in full...)
She won't believe he's cheating on her with me!
Q. Here are a few questions in one. My ex and I still hvae some of a chance to sometime get back together. We had dated for 8 months and then he broke it off because he didnt have the feeling. I know him very well and know he went through a confused...
A. 16 November 2007: Why are you still interested in this guy? He has a girlfriend. Why would he break up his relationship with her to be with you? What would be the benefit of getting himself into trouble with her? You have accepted his cheating ways, and he knows ... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant, has agreed to a abortion and I have no problem with it, am I a bad person
Q. I broke up with my ex as i found information she was cheating on me. she denies it and still does a month later (she was telling another guy "i love you"). the problem now is that she is pregnant. apparently the docs were able to tell her the exact ...
A. 16 November 2007: If he is advising her to get an abortion because he did not want any kids than more than likely the possibilty of the baby being his is there. I do not think anyone is advising him not to have sex, but I suggested that he always use contraception ... (read in full...)
I know I should let my feelings go.
Q. I started at a new job a little over a year ago. I became immediately attracted to one of my co-workers. He was engaged as am I. Right before he got married, we slept together. I never even thought of cheating on my fiance of 4 years before I met my ...
A. 16 November 2007: Obviously, there are some other issues that you need address. Things that are going on in your heart and in your mind.I do not think the attraction is that he is unattainable. Maybe it is an ego boost for you, you have someone elses man showing you ... (read in full...)
Is it OK that my girlfriend talks to her ex husband
Q. My girlfriend is still talking to her ex-husband. She says they want to be friends and thats it nothing more. I tried to be ok with it but everytime I see them emailing eachother it really bothers me and makes me unhappy. Is it unfair fo...
A. 16 November 2007: He is her ex-husband. And as friendly as they may seem to be with each other there is a reason why they are not still married. The bad had to outweigh the good. Is this an everyday thing emailing/calling? If it is an occasional hello I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Should I date my deceased ex-boyfriend's best friend
Q. My exboyfriend died 3 months ago in a tragic car accident. I loved him dearly but he did not know, he thought I hated him because of a lot of things he put me through. I have a problem. I still love my exboyfriend with all my heart, but I may be ...
A. 16 November 2007: Many people who experience tragedy turn to friends for comfort and sometimes it does turn into a romantic relationship. I see nothing wrong with it. If this man makes you happy at a time like this then I say go for it. Just make sure you and him are ... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant, has agreed to a abortion and I have no problem with it, am I a bad person
Q. I broke up with my ex as i found information she was cheating on me. she denies it and still does a month later (she was telling another guy "i love you"). the problem now is that she is pregnant. apparently the docs were able to tell her the exact ...
A. 16 November 2007: After reading your post I hope that you have learned your lesson. And you had better hope that this women keeps her word and gets rid of the baby like she said she would. Ultimately it is her decision and she might change her mind. The best way for ... (read in full...)
Mouse on the run
Q. HI guys this is a story to make you laugh on a cold grey day! I used to live with a bloke years ago, we had a son together, well, enough of that! He was a bit challenged in the brain department, something I didn’t quite notice when we met, sham...
A. 16 November 2007: LOL.... (read in full...)
I think he cracks under pressure because he's getting back with his ex. What do I do?
Q. Okays... I'm a 15 year old and well i like this guy that is 16 and he HAD a girlfriend, but he broke up with her because she was always treating him bad....she would call him just to cuss him out and so on so on. So he ended it because she trea...
A. 16 November 2007: Well, it sounds like he really likes this girl and is not ready to call it quits. If I were you I would let the situation play itself out. If she treats him badly then obviously he likes it. If he was defending her, that should tell you something. I ... (read in full...)
Is she serious?
Q. Hi, I am 23 years old, i met a woman online, at first it was just fun and as the relation got deeper and longer i felt more and more for her, she is sweet and lovely, she got 4 kids, the youngest one is older than me by two years, i dream to meet ...
A. 16 November 2007: Is this women married? Are you prepared at 23 to date a women with 4 kids? Are you or she willing to relocate? Im sure if you were to become serious she would expect for you to relocate since she has the 4 kids and moving for kids who are in school ... (read in full...)
Was I over-reacting?
Q. I really thought i was one of those liberal types-that's how i was raised. however, a week ago i discovered from a very reliable source that my boyfriend is bisexual and i just lost it! i broke up with him soon after because i felt he deceived me. ...
A. 16 November 2007: No, you didn't overreact. He should have told you from the very beginning that he was bi-sexual and let you make the decision on whether you wanted to pursue a relationship with him. It was not fair for him to make that decision for you. I am sure ... (read in full...)
We still love each other but there's nothing there
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together just over a year bt the last few weeks havent been the same i mean we both still love each other and want to be with each other but thes nothing there if that makes sense basically it feels like were best ...
A. 16 November 2007: I guess the easiest way ti figure out what the problem is between the two of you is to sit down and discuss it. Discuss not argue. Ask her what she wants from the relationship and ask her if there is anything she would like you to work on or ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous because he's in the same house as his ex
Q. My boyfriend has a 2-year-old child with his ex-girlfriend I used to spend the whole Saturday with my boyfriend but now his ex-gf doesn't want me to be there whenever they are there. The child is not yet used to my boyfriend that's why she should b...
A. 16 November 2007: That sounds like a complicated situation. I do not understand why she needs to sleep at his house. If he is trying to build a relationship with the child the mother doesn't have to sleep over. Have you actually heard her say that she does not want ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to tell my bf I'm pregnant. I'm 16 and he's currently in another country until June.
Q. A little help here guys? Okay im 16 years old and 4 weeks ago my boyfriend moved to another country, to be back sometime between January and June!! BIG problem. Today i found out, im six weeks pregnant, definatley my boyfriends i...
A. 16 November 2007: Good Luck. I am happy things went well for you!... (read in full...)
He left me and I miss him so much!
Q. I need help i love this guy so much but he lives in a different state then i do. we get into fights altho but we both still loved each other so much but then i got a boyfirend and he was jealous and shit but then he got a girlfriend and now im like ...
A. 15 November 2007: If you had another boyfriend why does his girlfriend bother you so much. Maybe you should try concentratig on your current situation instead of dwelling on a relationship that obviously isn't working out for you. The distance doesn't help either. ... (read in full...)
I think I am pushing him away! How can I stop being so paranoid?
Q. I like this guy who used to live near me before he went to uni five hours away from me. He said he liked me and hes back at christmas and we were going to "get together" then. he used to come on msn every night and talk to me for hours but recently ...
A. 15 November 2007: Well I think that you asked a valid question. Was he seeing soemone if you and him are friends what is wrong with asking a question. It sounds to me like he is not very interested. I would forget about him.... (read in full...)
Youth Camp
Q. During breaks from school I go to a youth camp. Last summer was a special time for me as I met a cute boy at camp. At the beginning we hit it off and started hanging out in groups and then spend more time together-just the two of us. We started ...
A. 15 November 2007: I am assuming that you will be returning to this camp next summer. Which is a approximately a year away. It would be very hard to finalize any plans for something that is so far off. There are a lot of things that can happen in a year and you may ... (read in full...)
Brazil!
Q. Some background may be helpful for you in giving me advice. About a year a ago I went to Brazil to take part in a Portuguese language program at a language school. It is one of those schools where people of all ages come from many countries to study ...
A. 15 November 2007: When you see Yara again I am sure if she is interested in you in that way the passion will come naturally. Try doing something romantic to show her that you came back to hook up with her not just for the school. When you send emails make sure you ... (read in full...)
Problems With On off Lover
Q. Hi I'm new to the site and have been looking around at all the posts and need some help myself. Ok, I met the girl of my dreams about 9/10 years ago and we fell head over heels in love and things were great between us. She was my soul mat...
A. 15 November 2007: Now may not be a good time to lay it all out for her. This must be a very hard time for her so the best thing for you to do is be supportive, and give her a shoulder to lean on. Who knows this whole situation might make her open up her eyes that to ... (read in full...)
I want to go on contraception. My mother would be shocked to hear this, so should I tell her?
Q. I'm 16 and i know my mum doesn't want me having sex till i'm older but i still want to go on some form of contraception just to be safe but i know if i told her she would freak out and never let me see my bf again. What do i do, go on contraception ...
A. 14 November 2007: I think you should tell your mother. She will be upset but guess what;it is your decision on when and who you have sex with. At least you are being responsible enough to go and get on birth-control unlike most teenagers and some adults. I think your ... (read in full...)
My partner has accepted my child as his own. Should I tell the real father about the child?
Q. I've only recently registered with facebook and I've managed to trace the father of my first child. I have 2 children now (1 by the person on facebook and a 2nd by my current partner, who has accepted my 1st child as his own). I know deep dow...
A. 14 November 2007: I would talk it over with my partner. Eventually, you may have to tell the child that he has a biological father out there somewhere. It is best to be honest for all the parties involved. What if this child needed an organ, or blood and you were not ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 14 November 2007: Well, I am sorry for jumping to the conclusion that you weren't on birth control. After the additional info that really makes a difference and I am sure it makes your decision making process more complicated. Your doctor should have told you about ... (read in full...)
Problems With On off Lover
Q. Hi I'm new to the site and have been looking around at all the posts and need some help myself. Ok, I met the girl of my dreams about 9/10 years ago and we fell head over heels in love and things were great between us. She was my soul mat...
A. 14 November 2007: I think that you need to be very clear with her about what you are expecting from this relationship. It sounds to me like she wants to have the best of both worlds, and unfortunately that is not healthy for the relationship. Instead of waiting it ... (read in full...)
Such a dilemma! We agreed to keep the baby and now he's changed his mind.
Q. Im forced into having another abortion...Let me explain About 2 years ago i met this guy when i was 17 and fell in love with him. He was my first love and pretty much first everything even though Ive had boyfriends befre I didnt trust them the w...
A. 14 November 2007: OK, I am going to tell you something first then I will comment about him. THIS IS YOUR BODY! You only get one body. If you did not want to have a baby right now why didn't you get on birth control? You cant just keep putting your body through ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to tell my bf I'm pregnant. I'm 16 and he's currently in another country until June.
Q. A little help here guys? Okay im 16 years old and 4 weeks ago my boyfriend moved to another country, to be back sometime between January and June!! BIG problem. Today i found out, im six weeks pregnant, definatley my boyfriends i...
A. 13 November 2007: If he is OK with it, then you have no reason to be afraid to tell him. Whatever you decide to do it should be a decision that you and the father should make together. So call him up and give him the news.... (read in full...)
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