A
female
age
26-29,
*inkerpixie
writes:Im scared to have sex but i want kids and im scared to lose me virginity beacuse i dont want to go there the pain of getting my cherry popped. can someone give me advice??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (25 November 2010):
It's a relief to hear you're not considering parenthood now. The way you phrased your question definitely implied that was the motivation behind your interest in becoming sexually active. You do realize you can have sex without having children, if you're careful, but at this age--just WAIT. Yes, it's the last thing you want to hear, but trust me and the others here who have encouraged you to be young for a little longer. Adulthood consumes the rest of your life, like it or not, so you've got time before you have to grow up completely. I know there are hormones pushing you to think the way you are, and peer pressure too, but believe me, if your friends are holding their supposed sex lives over your head, they're probably lying. Be smart; you CAN end up a young parent if you start having sex now.
A
female
reader, tinkerpixie +, writes (25 November 2010):
tinkerpixie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks but i wasent even thinking of doing that now my mom wuld freak she gets a little lyk over protective when a guy telles me they like me. she wont even let me go over a frnds house if they had a brother btwn the ages 16-17 cuz shes lyk annoying. i was just wondering would it hurt
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): im 14 and pregnant wait for the rite person i did but its different ive known him since i was 3 but u dont no bweather u can trust the person u give ur virgiaty to so please wait i wish i wasnt pregnant but i am these things happen p[lzz wait longer
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A
female
reader, maddiee-maii  +, writes (24 November 2010):
Listen to me please.
why the rush, i had twins at 14 years old still a baby myself. well anyways my pregnancy was tuff my mam died when i was young (no this does not mean u are differant to me) i lived with my antie who kicked me out, my boyfriend left me. one of my children had lots of problems he is blind, cannot hear/ speak propaly. i had to leave school because i had to bring up my kids, my boy friend said he wouldnt leave me but he did. so i had to find a job while pregnant (working in a local mcdonalds.) when my children where born i had to quit work and yes i was on benifts for a while. I used to get hate mail threw the door, spat at in the streets 'you cannot even rase a normal kid'
but at the end of the day pulled my life around i am now a midwife, my boyfriend sorted his head out and helps me. but its still hard. they are rewarding and a great gift. The way u said 'i want kids but i am scared of getting my cherry popped' shows u arnt even ready for sex, if u are scared about the pain of sex how do u think childbirth is ? please re think get a job save up wait two years and if u still feel the same noone is gonna stop ya but just think please its a lot different to a dog or baby sitting. its u getting no sleep its u strugleing to meet ends meet and its your childhood u are giving up on.
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A
female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (24 November 2010):
If your age range on this site is accurate, why on earth would you want to be the parent to a child, when technically, you're still a kid?!? I know that teenagers don't want to be told they're kids, but honestly, you don't have the perspective, life experience, financial stability, or emotional capacity to guide a child to successful adulthood. Those qualities and capabilities take time to culture, and you'd only be doing harm to yourself, your family, your boyfriend, and the baby by entering into this LIFETIME COMMITMENT before you've really lived yourself.
Finish high school, go to college, travel, work, have fun, read good books (yes, read--it helps develop perspective), and learn who you are before you bring another life into this world. Don't use having a child as a means of feeling better about yourself. When you have a child you must be ready to give up much of your freedom in exchange for giving him/her the best life possible. Can you truly do that now?
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (24 November 2010):
Sounds like you have had a damaged and difficult childhood. Whilst having children will give you a feeling of being loved, and feel significant in the world, they are human beings that are entirely dependent on you for their survival and development.
Are you able to provide the financial and emotional needs at your age? No - you're not.
You're just a child yourself who has their own development to do. Concentrate on your own life and relationships, sex and children will come later.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): I didn't lose my virginity till I was 21. And my body was very ready for it, I didn't have any pain. Give your body enough time and you will know when you are ready. Don't have kids until you are at least 23. Think of all the things first to do. Graduate high school. Turning 21.....drinking! College men are gorgeous and dancing. It changes if you have a kid, you have to find a sitter. Screaming and crying and meltdowns! Find someone who loves you and builds a foundation if anything wait till you can drive!!! I'm 34 and still thinking about the whole kid thing. Trust me get a plant and get a dog and if you can go 2 years without either being going to the vet or the plant dying then think of kids!!!
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I agree with the other posters here giving you advice, you're very young. Focus on graduating highschool, your friends, family and enjoy the rest of your childhood. Yes, you are still in your childhood even when you're a teenage. I'm not trying to talk down to you, but you really only get to be a teen once and really, have fun with that!
Don't worry about things you don't have to worry about yet, you clearly aren't ready for sex, your question says so, and you will know when you will be ready for it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2010): ~NO!~
You are waaaaaaaay to young!
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female
reader, CollegeCutie  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 I know the last thing you want to hear is that your too young but the truth is why are you thinking about kids? Nobody whos in their first year of high school should be thinking about bringing a child into the situation as your just going through puberty its a health risk and you are unprepared for the situation until you are able to take care of yourself and by that i mean being self sufficient. I know sex is a pressure at your age but the thing is when you wait for the right guy you shouldnt be scared if you love him and he loves you it will be one situation you will not regret. You should never give into the pressure of guys and feel like you have to have sex with them because it is a choice. When you choose to make it is up to you but i know a lot of girls who wish they waited and look at their first time and regret it. so i think just look at who you plan to have your first time with because im not saying only have sex with one person in your lifetime but only have sex with the ones who deserve you. hope that helps its more life advice.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (24 November 2010):
Umm...you're 15 at the oldest. We were all scared to have sex and I'm sure many of us are scared to have kids and are much older than you. So my advice: worry about other things, it's not that important right now.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 You are WAYYYY too young to be thinking about sex, let alone kids right now... no offense.
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