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Did I blow it by telling him I was attracted?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 December 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

so i have a dilemma. i met this guy about two years ago. we were both single, and he showed interest, but i didn't really take the bait too fast, i didn't want to seem easy. as time passed we hung out and went on a couple casual dates, but somehow we sort of lost contact with each other for a while. we reconnected and started to do the same thing, hang out and have a friendly/lightly romantic relationship recently. i didn't realize just how much i had missed or wanted him until now, and we have not had sex, but have had a few sexual encounters.just being in the same room with him makes me melt. i have had overwhelming feelings for him for a while now, and i kinda told him that. i told him i wanted to be with him, and i think it freaked him out a bit....he hasn't called really at all since, i have talked to him briefly through txt, but that's it. i am scared that i might have come off as clingy or desperate. this wasn't my intention, but i really want to find out if i even have a chance with him anymore, or if my mistake can even be fixed. HELP!

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A male reader, rolfen Lebanon +, writes (17 December 2010):

rolfen agony auntOnly freaky people freak out :) But some people (like me) dislike overwhelming, over-the-top confessions. But it's just a dislike. Make sure you don't do that too often.

If that's all it takes to put him off, then it's not a good sign. You've done well not calling him (giving him some space and freedom). If it's been a while you can try calling him and setting another date. I wouldn't take a single no for a rejection. But 2-3 consecutive times would mean he is not available anymore (for whatever reason).

Good luck :)

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A female reader, marcia99116 United States +, writes (17 December 2010):

marcia99116 agony auntI would rather people stick around to see how cool I am. So I would go back to casual - like nothing every happened kinda thing. When you are comfortable and some time has passed send him a dude lets hang message - whatever you usually do. Then he has had time to process and you can decide if you can just be friends with him while showing him what he is missing. Don't pine for him though... if he isn't interested there are plenty of others who will be.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (17 December 2010):

Eh...I think if he had a mutual interest he wouldn't get "freaked out." He might have been freaked out a little, but I'm sure he was still flattered. I'm not sure exactly what you told him...but a rule of thumb: don't ever let a guy know how much you like him. He can know you like him, but don't let him know that you're completely in love and want to be with him for eternity. If you want to fix anything, don't try contacting him and don't bring it up again. The ball is in his court so if he wants to pursue anything or see you, he needs to do some of the work. You let your feelings known, now it's his turn.

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