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My ex keeps on telling me how unhappy he is, yet he does nothing about it. How can I motivate him to do something about his unhappiness?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2014)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

I've been seeing my ex for about a year now. He is married after our breakup. Long story.

Anyway he tells me how unhappy he is but still does nothing about it. I've asked him to fix things around my house but always has excuses.

He did watch my pet when I went on vacation, but that was it!!

Should I just talk to him on the phone and not see him anymore?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntWhy should he help out around your house? You are no longer married.

No wonder his new marriage is in trouble, if he keeps his ex (you) in his life) and runs to her and complain about how his life sucks, it must be pretty hurtful to the wife.

The guy is USING you for comfort. If he keeps bringing up the SAME things that makes his life so unhappy why not TELL him to WORK that out with his wife? TO talk to his wife? After all SHE is the one he CHOSE to share his life with.

I'd tell him to go sort his life out, you can't do that for him.

You know, by still keeping him around you are holding yourself back from moving on as well. But my guess is, you like being "needed" by your ex. Even if that is partly why his marriage is messed up.

Let him go. Let him fix his own problems.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 October 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntWh are you two seeing each other? He is probably stringing you along to get sympathy. This is a red flag to me. he is remembering your intamate moments and testing the waters to see how interested you may be to relive "old times". Danger-danger, stay away.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2014):

You shouldn't be seeing him at all. If he's unhappy and anywhere near your age, I think he's old enough to know what to do about his life.

If he's your ex, he knew when it was time to leave you! It might be time for you leave him alone, and find someone already unattached. You're part of the problem. If you're still having sex with him and making excuses to interfere in his marriage. You are an enabler. A co-conspirator in cheating on his wife. It can't be for any good reason.

I don't need to know the long story, you've said more than enough.

Doing what you're doing is intended to sabotage his relationships. It's working. Your karma is coming, and it ain't going to be pretty!

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