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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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My Russian wife has been watching Russian tv and I think she has become brainwashed?
Q. My wife left Russia some thirty years ago and travelled the world. She was a great conversationalist and worldly wise. Then she discovered Russia Television ( RT )on our TV. Now she watches it for most of the day and seems to be becoming brain ...
A. 19 September 2014: Look, Apparently, the russian propaganda machine has nough to say and is strongenough toave millions of faithfull citizens following blindly into what they think is a world f great peace and contentment otherwise the governmnt would have had ... (read in full...)
How do I make my feelings of love that aren't returned go away?
Q. i love a girl whos a few years older than me she has no feelings for me but i definitely love her ive never felt this way about anyone will it go away help please?...
A. 19 September 2014: Ysimply need to focus your energy somewhere else; sports,other girls,computer lasses, reading, go to camp or join a group(chess club, science class groups, something that takes a lot of mental acuity)... (read in full...)
She has caused trouble for us and my friend and I cannot stand her. How can we drop her from our lives?
Q. My friends and I have this issue that we really can't talk to an adult in our lives about without getting into trouble and we don't know how to solve the problem either. There's this girl who hangs around us who we really just don't like and w...
A. 19 September 2014: Ifeel so sorry for her. She sounds like the loneliest person on the planet with no social skills to realize how to make friends so she just buds her way into places a person normally would not go. I'm wondering if there might be a learning ... (read in full...)
I love him but feel I am nothing to him. What do I do?
Q. Hello, I am graduate student.I have a friend whom i met in my school. he is a very good guy. Funny at times,and very intelligent.We were schoolmates and we grew closer as time went by and now, he is my best friend.But sometimes I am really unsure i...
A. 18 September 2014: He might just see you as an intellectual friend and might not be that to you. Ther's no way to 'make' him fall for you, you may ave to be satisfied with the status quo. Sometimes life serves up a meatball instead of a cherry.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's female friend doesn't like me. What can I do?
Q. I am frustrated with myself and my boyfriend. We were in a distance relationship but I moved to live with him about six months ago. Mostly it's been great. He has this female friend though. I've never felt that comfortable about their friendship cos ...
A. 18 September 2014: Make it a point to get to know her better so she gets to know you. She might just be a bit protective of her friend not wanting to see him get hurt or something. Deep breath and proceed.... (read in full...)
His being late makes me feel disrespected
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 2 months. He was on-time our first date but almost every time after that he is late. I am not talking 15 mins late. I am talking an hour! There have been times when he had decent reason for being late and I just ...
A. 18 September 2014: You are right! people who are late are very disrespectfull! ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm looking at a life-time of 'what he thinks is best'
Q. I'm having some issues with my boyfriend and the decisions he makes. We've been together for three years. Last year I finished my undergraduate degree and moved to the city my boyfriend lived in to do postgraduate study while he finished his ...
A. 18 September 2014: You might be right, he probably was raaised in a family that taught the 'old fashioned' "duty" of the male was to direct the family in the direction he thought was best for the future. Might want to investigate his upbringing or you could be locked ... (read in full...)
Am I Really Overrreacting or Is He in The Wrong When It Comes to Not Talking to Me?
Q. Hello. I'd like to give a little background before any opinons are made so please bare with me. My boyfriend and I will have been together 3 years this coming October and we are both 22 years old going on 23. I have asked something like this in the ...
A. 18 September 2014: My 'gut reaction' is as follows; We men have very low tolerance for lengthy discussions. When you speak to him try to keep your message brief and to the point. Long paragraphs(like youmentioned) will irratate most men and they will tune out. I'm ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has overly attached bromance...what do I do?
Q. Hello everyone hope someone out there can give me some help on this issue i have. I recently started dating a guy who is wonderful andi really do like him. We only see each other about once a week because i work and he lives about half an hour away ...
A. 17 September 2014: You ar the third wheel on a bycycle. They have a bond that you will never understand. It's probably a position you do not need to be in. If I were you, I'd find a new boyfriend. Either that or you will Always be the 'other guy'.... (read in full...)
Is the older guy I've been seeing really even into me? (a little explicit)
Q. Hi everyone! So I have been seeing a new guy for about two months that I met online. He is pretty awesome, has a great personality, and is very handsome. He is about 15 years my senior (I am of legal age, 21), never married and has no kids. He ...
A. 16 September 2014: Honeypie is right on... (read in full...)
How do I delicately put it to him and encourage him to want to please me in bed?
Q. Hi everyone. I have started dating a guy, been a few weeks now. We get on so well, chatting, going out, staying in, chemistry is great. But there is one problem who potential problem. He hasn't been able to make me orgasm yet. I do not ...
A. 16 September 2014: Tell him your desires, i'm sure he'll be happy to please you. That is our(men's) biggest desire in the world [to please a woman].... (read in full...)
We're no longer together but I was offended by his actions
Q. I went to a wedding recently with an ex bf. we didn't go as a couple but we went together because we were both invited, our mutual friends would be there as well. during the wedding I noticed him talking to this girl on the dance floor. then I saw ...
A. 16 September 2014: He was very disrespectfull as a minimum. I don't know why you felt compelled to tell him how you were upset though. As you said you were not a couple. But he was dumb and inconsiderate. Oh well, lesson learned.... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Pot calling kettle black?
Q. Quick question. Am I in the wrong and he is right? I made a off hand comment to my boyfriend that men don't share their feelings (I was talking about a friend who is a guy, he seemed in a pissie mood so I asked him what was wrong to which he said...
A. 16 September 2014: Actually, you are wrong AND you're right. Most men fail to share thier feelings because they see it as a 'girly thing to do, you know, 'real men don't talk about how they feel' But most men that do try to share their feelings with a women are ... (read in full...)
Yet another Christmas all alone. What do I do?
Q. It looks like I am spending Christmas on my own this year as I am single, childless still since my divorce - so its just me and my dog! In the past I had Christmas's ruined by my ex husband and his family so now I am divorced I don't have that drama ...
A. 16 September 2014: Tere are church groups all around you that would love to have you share the holiday with them.Reach out to any one of them and you'll never be alone again.... (read in full...)
Am I right to set him free and move on?
Q. I really like someone I met recently...we've not known each other for too long...It has been around 2 months...BUT he's left the city we are currently staying in because he got a new and better job somewhere else. We always had a good time together...
A. 16 September 2014: He already broke up saying he can't have a LDR so you're off the hook.Just replay that discusion.... (read in full...)
First date ideas???
Q. Hi I recently asked for a girls phone number, I work with her occasionally and we have a good working relationship. I really like her and I'm nervous about asking her out on a date I need ideas something simple and fun. Trouble is she going away in ...
A. 16 September 2014: Ba gentleman;be a good listener; don't make ny crude or 'off color' comments or jokes; do not try really,reaalyhar o impress her; DO NOT comment on aything regarding her physical apperarance(you know other than "you look very nice tonight...Nothing ... (read in full...)
I feel she was leading me on and then she pulled the carpet out from under my feet!
Q. A long time female friend, (know her 50 years) and I both divorced. We date as friends. During one of our dates she talked about sex. She told me she hasn't had sex in 7 years. It kind of sounded like an invitation, so I asked her if she'd have sex ...
A. 14 September 2014: I don't know, but from the way you explained it doesn't sound like an 'invitation' to me, she was just venting her frustration and I think you may have lept at the chance to inquire as to a possible trist without more veting. I wouldn't take it so ... (read in full...)
What does he want from me? I rejected his FWB request 3 times. But I do have feelings for him
Q. Hello everyone, before asking my question, I'll give a 'little' background. I'll try to make it short :) Last year around winter I became closer to one of my friend's friend, and I fell in love, and after awhile he kissed me, and we started dating. ...
A. 14 September 2014: It's not impolite to avoid being put in a comprimised position. He's try to get into your pants and nothing more. Hang tough, you don't need that conflict!... (read in full...)
My married female teacher is about 28 and she finds many opportunities to touch me. I like it. Is this OK? Does it make me a lesbian?
Q. I am a student, 19 years old, good in studies. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend. I have a teacher in my college,she is married and has a year old son. she may be of 28 or 29 years of age. she is a good teacher. she is very friendly...
A. 14 September 2014: From the age grouping you are placed in(18-20) it would seem to me you'd know if you were straight or gay by now and the touching teacher would not have any influence one way or another. You should report her if she makes you feel uncompfortable ... (read in full...)
What do you uncles and aunts mean when you say "children come first" if a childless person is dating or married to another person who has a child or children?
Q. Hi. I'd like to know, what do the aunts and uncles and others mean when they say: "children come first" if a childless person is dating or married to another personwho has a child or children? Does that mean the person with children does not have ...
A. 14 September 2014: None of that makes any difference. Ifsomething has a negative impact on the kids no matter whose they are then it wrong.. I know what I mean by it.It means me that adults shouldput their priorities second to that of the minors in ANY reolationship. ... (read in full...)
Should height be a factor in not picking someone?
Q. Should height be a factor in not picking someone? There's a guy I went out with recently, cute, sweet, funny, and we got along fine it's just that he's so short. I mean I'm short too but he's like 2 inches taller than me and I'm 5'1 I love ...
A. 14 September 2014: Idon't think being attracted to a person per his or her physical atributes is shallow at all. To me anyway, what's shallow is those folks that are upset because of another person admiring those physical qualities; example: "Oh you just like her ... (read in full...)
So many of my friends were my ex's -- how do I make new friends?
Q. I need some advice on making friends. About 4 months ago I walked away from a long term relationship which had become abusive. I was engaged to my ex and we had a life together with a lot of mutual friends we had accumulated over the years. My ex ...
A. 14 September 2014: One of the quickest ways Iknow of to make new friends is to join a church. You will suddenly have ten or more people wanting you to volunteer or help with this that or the other. It's constructive and non-intimidating and generally a wholsome ... (read in full...)
So many of my friends were my ex's -- how do I make new friends?
Q. I need some advice on making friends. About 4 months ago I walked away from a long term relationship which had become abusive. I was engaged to my ex and we had a life together with a lot of mutual friends we had accumulated over the years. My ex ...
A. 14 September 2014: One of the quickest ways Iknow of to make new friends is to join a church. You will suddenly have ten or more people wanting you to volunteer or help with this that or the other. It's constructive and non-intimidating and generally a wholsome ... (read in full...)
Straight man is sending me mixed signals
Q. I am a gay man that has become good friends with a straight man. He knows I am gay but I think he is curious about his sexuality. He always says he is straight but he is sending me mixed signals. What do I do?...
A. 14 September 2014: Agree with honeypie... (read in full...)
We've broken up yet again. Should I forgive or forget?
Q. Advice please. My boyfriend of 3 years has just told me he want us just to be friends. We have broken up quite a few times in the yearswe have been together due to him accusing me off being unfaithful. For which i have never. Should i forgot him? or ...
A. 13 September 2014: My adice is forget, life is too short to put up with idiots like that.... (read in full...)
Why is inexperience worse for men than for women?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? why is it that if a guy is a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or ...
A. 13 September 2014: Men are from Mars...etc. women are just more self-assured in the world in general than men, I think. It could be because we men are intimidated by women too. It's all in the way were all raised. Boys are taught by fathers to respect their moms, ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this tension between mom and I?
Q. I've lived at home my entire life and recently graduated. Now that I'm working, I pay for my own things and rent to my parents for my room. However my parents kindly gave me a "discount" and so I don't pay for utilities. My sister in univer...
A. 13 September 2014: You're annoyed that she said "no"?excuse me! The "tension" is all on you my friend. Her house,her rules. Ok, yoou say you're an adult, then move out... (read in full...)
My wife wants a bi sexual thing and has no idea I know it.
Q. I've been good friends with a married couple for many years. I knew her well long before he came into her life and before I knew my wife. My wife and her developed a close friendship which I didn't mind at all. This woman told me my wife is bi ...
A. 13 September 2014: Youwish is right on!... (read in full...)
I know what I want to do, but how do I start this?
Q. This is the only site I trust, and honestly the only one I know of that can answer my questions. This is different. It's about my future career. I'm sorry if this is too out of context, but I need to know. I'm in high school, and know I need to s...
A. 13 September 2014: My advice is to find a company that is doing what you want to do, or is at least in the business,like a recording studio and ask if you could be an intern there. there is no pay for an intern but at least you'll get to see the inside of the business ... (read in full...)
All advice welcome: crazy in laws
Q. Ok here goes! Please any answers would be grateful to you for advice! So , shortened down I met my partner and few months later we were madly in love and I was pregnant. I hardly knew his family but spent some time with them. They never made an ...
A. 13 September 2014: You can't do anything about stupid people except stay away from them as much as posible. You can't fix stupid!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to be lying about porn for no reason.
Q. Thank you in advance for reading this and answering to whomever answers. I've been with my boyfriend quite a long time now and I found out not too long ago he had been watching porn, I just looked at him and said what's this? And he looked guilty a...
A. 13 September 2014: Lying is a bad habit and hard to break. an ultimatum is in order. Whatever it is that bothers you about him watching porn is wierd to me but it's your life.... (read in full...)
He is always busy and I don't feel he prioritizes seeing me.
Q. I have been seeing my fella for a year now and it's going ok, but we both have very busy jobs and he lives in another town from me,anyway I wanted to see more of him so I suggested seeing him on a Friday night but he couldn't because he had ...
A. 13 September 2014: Hhas his priorities all messed up. Or, he's trying to 'dump' you in a very awkward way without acually saying anything to you out of clumbsy embarassment. It sounds like time for the two of you to 'take a break' from one another to see if absence ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend calls me and rants about things, is this normal?
Q. Hi all, I'm dating a man who likes to/ needs to "vent". This is what he calls it anyway. To me, "venting" has always meant something like calling a friend (or even talking out loud to myself in the car) and just saying what's bugging me. Just ...
A. 13 September 2014: I don't see you as uncaring at all. To listen to 'madness' for more than one or two minutes is way more than you needed to do. Once you can define aperson as a true 'flake' which this guy soundsto me he is, you are e to hang up on him saying,"Wrong ... (read in full...)
Three years of emails and now he wants FWB?
Q. When I have known someone for three years and there is no relationship. Just emails. Three dates for coffee and chatting. Emails only. Now he has indicated he can only be friends with benefits as that is the only thing that works for him he ...
A. 13 September 2014: FWB as I understand it is a male and female meeting periodically for the purpose of the male being 'pleasured.Ergo, why is the term friend(s)? I'd tell is dude how the cow ate the cabbage and how to go F(ind) himself a NEW friend. You don't need ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should've had sex with him?
Q. Please help me!!! I had been going out with this guy for 2 years until he dumped me round 7-8 months ago. The reason for this was because he asked me if I'd have sex with him and I said no because we're waaayyy too young, (we're both 13) He sai...
A. 11 September 2014: No, you were right in denial. you are the one to give or not give. You were strong and very admiriable. It's too bad there ar not more girls like you. That way there would be far fewer 'unwanted' babies in the world. Now if he has what he wants ... (read in full...)
I miss my boyfriend and worry about other girls since we don't see each other
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a month now but we haven't seen each other since early this summer in July. It is now September and school has started. We don't go to the same school and I miss him. I'm worried that he is with ...
A. 11 September 2014: no matter what you might think..it's not always all about you. Maybe that's harsh and udeserved but if he wants to see other girls, that's his business. Why even bring it up to him at all. If you are his 'true love' he will be there for you and not ... (read in full...)
My best friend has suddenly become less helpful and I'm not sure how to handle it
Q. Best friend is suddenly hardly helpful. My best friend and I have been friends for 20 years. She has always been easygoing and happy to help. However, over the past few years she has actually been quick to say "No" about a lot of things that I wo...
A. 11 September 2014: Honeypie hait pegged, I'd follow her wisdom.... (read in full...)
My husband loves me but I no longer feel the same for him
Q. Dear Cupid. I told my husband I'm no longer in love with him. We have been married for 11 years. I have lost total interest in him. He is so hurt by this that I am willing to work things out. I care for his well being tremendously. He is ...
A. 11 September 2014: I agr with sageoldguy-best to rip the bandaid off as quickly as possible. File for divorce and let himget on with your new life. He'll recover from it faster than you will sice he won't carry any guilt that way. Too bad, I feel bad for you both ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to trust my boyfriend after we have broken up?
Q. Hi everyone :) I am really like caught right now so I'm gonna ask for some advice here :) A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I broke up but after a few days he texted me to see how I was doing.. And we just started talking as if the thing that b...
A. 11 September 2014: Certainly it's OK to stay super close friends with someone you have been very close with, even intamate. We are all adults here, right? Just because you are not 'officially' going together that doesn't mean you must hate one another or anything even ... (read in full...)
My ex is acting weird but hes the one who broke things off!
Q. He broke up with me after 2 months. through a letter! He said he didn't deserve me. i was too 'pretty', 'beautiful' etc. I didn't mourn or anything. these days he asks me about my love life nothing else. Now i'm with my man (he's my fiancee) and he ...
A. 11 September 2014: I have heard of "buyer's remorse" but this takes the cake; After just a few months he returns the 'gift' then crys when the 'gift' id no longer availablr. LOONEY TUNE anyone?... (read in full...)
Is she loyal or disrespectful?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my gf for more than 2 years now and we are deeply in love. We have a great sense of understanding. Recently her job took her to another city. We do keep in touch daily. Now, the problem is her colleague is really inter...
A. 10 September 2014: I don't think she needs to do anything. However, I think you may need to do something, like split up. She's not Respecting you and in light of that you nee to move on.... (read in full...)
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