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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am torn between my ex husband and my new guy. Here is the story, My life overal was not too bad but I have been unhappy from some issues which my ex wouldn't do anything about it. The main issue was him being over passive and his family over involve in our life , all are living in the same neighborhood eventhough it is a big city. We have a big age gap which contributed more to the problem. Everytime I asked him about how lonely I feel and how disconnected we are he wouldn't just care and never took me seriously all he was saying was if you are unhappy just go with someone that you think you will be happy. I asked for divorce but still wouldn't listen. So I started seeing someone from the past that was so in love with me. It was 12 years ago but he is still madly in love with me. I told him about it that I am doing what he suggested and he still wouldn't believe it because he took me for granted for years and never believe that its for real. Anyway when he got the evidence he got crazy all crying and angry and all of the sudden so caring taking me to dates but at the same time we started the divorce process but he was hoping that I come back. Something that really put me off was he shared some of my private things with his family again! I started this relationship as a revenge but got out of hand soon. My other guy was so serious about this relationship got divorce after few months and I am stuck. my divorce is final other guy is divorced for me and my ex is still crying but the damage is done and I dont know if it even reversible. He disrespected my family badly all the realationship is a mess and I am in between feeling bad for ex and my only child and my other guy's child and feel so bad for him because he has sacrificed everything for me. And ready to move thousands of miles to be with me. I cant eat sleep and totally lost. What should I do?
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divorce, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 October 2014):
 Hneypie tok the words rightout of my keyboard.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2014): Im the OP. I am not trying to justify myself, I wasn't thinking about replacing my ex and I didn't expect my ex to magically fix everything I did what ever I could to change the situation but it would not happening because he never took it seriously. I asked for conseling I shared my concerns and asked for my right which was my privacy. My life was like an open book he shares everything with his family. What should I have done? handcuffed him and take him to conseling? I was so disapointed and what makes me angry and confused now is that he could change and listen to me but he didn't and waited to do it until it was too late. I am mad because every time I was asking for my rights his suggestion was that I can go with whoever makes me happy! which I wanted to show him its easy! I never thought he can go so crazy I though he would walk away. By the way I walked out without taking a penny. He is the one that insists that take me back. I never asked the other guy to divorce his wife but he did it. And told me after paying 1 million $ to his wife and divorce was final! now I am stuck between the two. my question us would you consider comming back or go with the other guy if you were me? I know some of you will say you wouldn't do what I did but here I am now and I need help.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (13 October 2014):
 Honeypie has given you the truth about yourself and your submittal. LISTEN to what she's told you.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 October 2014):
 Whatever caused the marriage to end was never really resolved. YOU chose to cheat over divorce. YOU chose to cheat over getting counseling/help to fix the issue. YOU assumed it was your ex-husband job to "magically" fix the issue. And that is what you used to justify your cheating?
I would NOT go back to an ex with this kind of history between you. You are thinking fo the ex, because you feel BAD for him? Really? So you end up breaking up your own AND guy #2's marriage and then... you start doubting that guy#2 is what you want?
You jumped from one man to another, thinking that if guy #1 isn't doing what YOU want you can always replace him, and you did... however, when you "jump" from one relationship to another without having resolved ANY issues or even making sure you really KNOW what you want, this is what you end with up.
ONLY you can figure out what YOU want.
Are you afraid to hurt guy #2 after all he DID for you? Because if you are, that is a little to late. But your main focus should be WHAT DO YOU WANT for YOUR future?
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