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Mum says he is annoying me because he's trying to get my attention, is she right?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 December 2014) 10 Answers - (Newest, 8 December 2014)
A female Italy age 22-25, *RSHHogwarts writes:

there is this guy in my class who constantly teases me and tries to annoy me by touchimg my hair coz he know it annoys me. we sit near eachother in class coz the teacher put us near eachother. him and his friends make fun of me coz im english and they are italian and coz i am very shy and dont talk alot and it upsets me.i have told my mum and she says that he is doing it to get my attention. i do not agree with her. who is wright me or my mum???

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A female reader, GRSHHogwarts Italy +, writes (8 December 2014):

GRSHHogwarts is verified as being by the original poster of the question

GRSHHogwarts agony auntOk thx guys

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 December 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYep I agree with WiseOwlE, time to talk to your parents and then a teacher. This kid will only escalate his bullying if he isn't stopped now. That is NOT just for attention to bang you about in the hall way, that IS bullying.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2014):

If you're afraid to ask the teacher to move you to a different desk in class, get your mother to write a note.

This boy seems to be spending a bit too much time bothering you, and I think pushing is crossing the line.

Why are you telling us and not your mum or the teacher?

If he is pushing you into walls, THAT IS BULLYING! Picking on the English kid.

I think you want this to stop, but your mother isn't listening to you. Is that the problem? Tell her everything you told us, and about the pushing and constant teasing. Let her know it is upsetting you a lot. Maybe it's making you a little scared too? I think you are.

It's time to talk to your dad. When mother's see things the wrong way, that's what dad's are for. Your mum is not taking you seriously and making you have to come to people who can't talk to your teacher. When mothers don't listen, go to you father. So many poor children don't have a dad around to protect them. I hope that's not the case for you.

It's time that nitwit of a teacher took notice of what's happening in class, and put a stop to it. Now I think I understand. Your mum doesn't want to face the problem. Dear old dad won't hear of boys pushing his little girl around for stupid attention. Time to get his opinion.

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A female reader, GRSHHogwarts Italy +, writes (6 December 2014):

GRSHHogwarts is verified as being by the original poster of the question

GRSHHogwarts agony aunttoday at school he pushed me into a wall on purpose so i would hit him but i ignored him then after a bit he left me alone he does that every day to me and it is realy annoying

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2014):

I used to be the quiet bookworm in the class. That makes people notice you sometimes when you don't want to be.

Sometimes they just wanted me to feel included, and be like everybody else. They liked me, and didn't want me to feel left-out.

In a way, it's good for you; because he's getting you to interact and talk to people. You have to socialize with your classmates. Boys should never put their hands on you without your permission. You mentioned that he touched your hair, it isn't right for him to do that. Tell him straight out that he should never put his hands on you. Never!

Teasing isn't always the same as bullying. What you've described is annoying but playful. If he starts to say hurtful things or hit you, whole different ball of wax.

You must inform your teacher when he starts to become unbearable. Stupid knuckle-headed boys always go overboard.

I think he really likes you. Since he spends so much time teasing you. You keep to yourself, so he doesn't know any other way to get you to open-up and talk to him, or notice the people around you. So he teases you, so you'll have to talk to him; even if you're angry. Seeing you worked-up is funny to him, but at least all your attention is on him. The other students don't understand why you're not friendly and playful; so they will pick on you a bit.

I caution you about hitting or throwing things. If you hurt someone they'll get angry. Then the teasing will turn to bullying. It is better to let the teacher handle the situation when what you say or do isn't working. You can ask to be moved and explain that he keeps bothering you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 December 2014):

Honeypie agony auntYes he wants your attention and like a 5 year old he doesn't care HOW he gets it.

However, it's also kind of disrespectful, so I would TELL him to keep his hands to himself.

And if he doesn't stop TALK to your teacher and ask to move seat.

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A female reader, GRSHHogwarts Italy +, writes (5 December 2014):

GRSHHogwarts is verified as being by the original poster of the question

GRSHHogwarts agony aunthe also teases me coz i am a book worm and i like reading books like the hobbit and harry potter and i am a big potterhead so he teases me a bit for that. once he said to me to go and read harry potter and i replied atleast i read then at school i threw one of my books at him then for a few days he left me alone

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2014):

I think your mum is right. He picked you out of all the girls; because you're different from the rest and you're shy.

I've told you before, girls are a lot more mature than boys at your age; so boys do some pretty silly things to get your attention.

To have a little fun with him next time when he bothers you,

turn and face him. Then say: "Okay, you have my attention!

Now what?" Don't be angry or pout, just have a straight face.

He'll be on the spot and have to say something. I guarantee it will be something really silly.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (5 December 2014):

YouWish agony auntIn this case, she's absolutely right. He wants your attention and he wants it BADLY. He and his friends are immature, and this is the sort of behavior immature guys do.

You do not have to put up with it, because he's crossed the line into bullying you, especially with his friends laughing at you while he does it.

You have the right not to be touched if you don't want to. You are shy, but what you need to do is to say, loud enough for the rest of the class AND the teacher to hear is STOP TOUCHING ME NOW. Use the boy's name and say "Keep your hands off of me."

It isn't cute. It isn't flirty. It isn't fun. No means no. Many boys antagonize girls they are interested in when they are immature. If you're not interested in him, he needs to keep his hands, and his teasing, to himself.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 December 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntYour mother is always right but especially in this case. Boys at that age are desperatly inarticulate and only know the crude-like actions of a young chimp. I know cuz I were one.

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