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Is it inappropriate to ask a guy to take an STD and HIV test before we date?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2014) 8 Answers - (Newest, 27 November 2014)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid, I haven't dated in a long time but I decided if I should date again would I be wrong to bring up front about taking STD and HIV test.My health is in great condition and I want the same for the new guy.Thanks

View related questions: hiv , std

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2014):

I really thank you all for your response I have been tested I get tested every year so I don't have a problem getting tested I'm just hoping he doesn't have a problem with taking the test and I will take another one just for him to let him know if we are going any farther this is a must.Happy Thanksgiving :)

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (26 November 2014):

chigirl agony auntBefore dating = inappropriate. After dating a while, before moving on to sex = a natural thing to ask for.

And you both get tested, not just him. Even if you "feel fine", if you havent been tested, then you dont know.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 November 2014):

olderthandirt agony aunteryone is right..To make a test a prerequisite to dating is like saying; "Hey, I want to have sex with you on our daste BUT first you gotta prove you're "clean' before you get any of this!" Sound weird? I guess so. Proceed with caution. Trust but verify. AND never assume.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (25 November 2014):

YouWish agony auntI agree with the others. The right time is when you both have dated to the point where sex is starting to become a possibility.

Then, whether you're in good health or not, you propose that BOTH of you get tested. It wouldn't be right that you'd expect him to take your word for it while insisting he get tested.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 November 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI agree, no not before you start to date. I would say before you sleep together.

He isn't a dog from the pound whom you needed vetted in order to date... is he?

I understand not wanting to date someone with STD's, and I think it's a MUST to get tested before sex.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (25 November 2014):

Not before the first date, lol! Get to know him and when the conversation turns to sex and it seems you might be compatible, then go for it!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (25 November 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntBefore you even have a date? I'd say no. But once you dated for awhile and are getting ready for the next level of sexual intimacy then I'd say it would be appropriate for you to bring it up with him and hopefully you will agree for both of you to get tested.

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A male reader, lifesgreat United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2014):

depends if I went out on one date and she started asking me to take a test .

Then there more than likely wouldn't be a 2nd date.

maybe if you go on a few dates then they may consider it .

It it not a bad thing , you are just being cautious which is good .

But yeah if you start prompting it right away , you will put a few lads off I would imagine

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