A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont know what to do , i asked a question about letting a guy down because he missed his chance he was taking too long to if he wanted to date me but then i suddenly met a new guy who wants to date me and we are arranging a time to see each other again but now im in a situation ive never been in and need help.i got good advice last time, but now the guy who was taking too long to decide if he wanted to date me has now asked me out so i have 2 guys what do i do because its wrong to lead both on so i wont do that how do i let one of the guys down ? i need to think hard who is best for me . i wait forever for 1 guy then suddenly i get 2 Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2014): One summer while I was in college, for about a month I dated 3 guys at the same time. (But on different days, of course). And I didn't have sex with any of them. Kissing, yeah. And just had fun with them. It was no big deal because me and the guys, we were all young and so expectations were low. We were all college kids and you know how that goes. One minute you're in America, the next you're off to Paris to study abroad. College kids are flighty. Its the nature of campus life.
Then when I graduated I moved to a huge college town, with about ten major colleges within the city limits. So a lot of my college "parameters" carried over into my adulthood. As an "adult" in this college town, the casualness of dating was no less acceptable than it had been in my early 20's. Hanging with one guy today and a different one tomorrow. It's fun and in the right situation it is acceptable.
So maybe my background makes my opinion pretty biased but I am of the mentality that it is quite alright to date more than one person at once, especially when your relationship is still vague and undefined. I see nothing wrong with going out with both these men. When and if it becomes serious and meaningful with one of them, then you can put all your focus on just one. As it should be. Cheating ain't cool.
But at this point? You are not committed to either of them nor are they committed to you. Chances are they are both talking to and going out with other girls too. So I don't see why you have to choose just one guy to go out with. This isn't a marriage proposal. It's a date. There's just as much chance it will lead to something as there is that it won't. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. It's too soon for that.
Go out with both of them. Absolutely. Without a doubt.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 December 2014):
 you can take a date with each one on different days.
it's not wrong to date (NOT sleep with) more than one person as long as you are honest about it.
I'd give each 3 shots to decide what to do.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 December 2014):
 Lucky You!...There's one good way (don'tknow how gentle it is but it's truthfull,therefore good) Just say,"I already have a date for that calandar date how about another time?
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A
female
reader, sarinite +, writes (7 December 2014):
 Well the guy that took forever to make up his mind may not be worth hassle. I mean - if he can take that long to decide you are worth a shot?!? Go on the date with the guy that is new. It won't hurt to go on this date, so see how it goes. If after this date you are still unsure, then go on a date guy 1. Who would you rather date? Guy 1 or guy 2? Who is the better of the two in your honest opinion? Which guy do you gel better with? Ask yourself some simple questions and see what you think after. Guy one that waited so long to make up his mind may have had a genuine reason, but he also may not have. Guy 2 may be the man of dreams, but you won't know that unless you go on a date. It's only a date and your not signing on the dotted line of relationships as it were. Date both, date one, but never date more than one person when you are actually 'dating'. Having a coffee is one thing to see if you want a second date, but having a second and third date with one person etc then dating someone else isn't going to help you in any way. Just go with who feel is right to date and let the other guy know that it was very nice to be offered a date, but you don't think it fair to go out on a date with him at the moment.
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