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I use masturbation to relieve stress...but I feel guilty afterwards. Any advice?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 December 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, *ly112008 writes:

Hi, i'm 15 years old and i've been masterbating since I was 2...Literally. I tried to stop last year but I still do it up to this day, although I feel guilty, dirty, and ashamed after. I heard it's a stress reliever , it does take away all my other stress but puts this new stress or guilt on me. I tend to do it when i'm in a lot of stress (for example when I was 13, everything was stressfull to me and I did it more then ever). At the moment that i'm doing I always say i'm gonna feel the guilt in the morning but i just can't get myself to stop. Please help me?

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A female reader, Ich_liebe_dich Philippines +, writes (30 December 2009):

Ich_liebe_dich agony auntI think at this age, its more practical and more reasonable than getting pregnant at the very early age.

No you should not feel guilty at all., theres nothing wrong with that. Just do it in a proper way and enjoy it.. happy new year dear

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):

You might be feeling guilty because you feel like if anyone found out, you would be in trouble. A simple solution would be to just tell your mom that you do it and see what happens. If she flips out, then ask yourself, "Is she justified in stopping me?" Why or why not?

You feel shame because you perceive you are doing something wrong. Confession helps. If you decide you have done wrong, apology fixes it (and the other party should ALWAYS forgive someone who is genuinely sorry if that party loves you). If your mom accepts what you are doing, problem solved. If she does not and you decide she's wrong for not accepting it, ironically, problem solved. Confront the shame.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (29 December 2009):

LazyGuy agony auntYou probably been raised to think it is bad.

While masturbation itself is fine and can be a way to relieve sexual tension without actually having sex (which would be bad considering your age) anything taken to extreme is bad for you.

For instance, jogging an hour a day is fine and by the way also an excellent way to relieve stress. Jogging 12 hours a day is NOT fine.

Drinking lots of water is good for you, drinking more then a gallon each day can be deadly.

No, you are not going to die from to much masturbation (if you could, there would be no men), but it does sound a bit like you are using to escape. Using it as a coping mechanism rather then dealing the cause of the stress.

Can you find another way to relieve stress? Excercise, a violent action game? And perhaps also reduce the stress from building up in the first place.

Masturbation should feel good, not simply be a means to feel "normal".

So mix it up with other activities.

And also, learn to accept that masturbation is a normal and healthy way to relieve sexual tension, stops sexual frustration from building up to the point where you just have sex with the first guy to come along and teaches you what feels good because the first guys you do have it with won't have a clue.

Let go of your guilt, reduce its use a stress release and reduce the stress in your life and find alternate ways to deal with stress.

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A male reader, Jace United States +, writes (29 December 2009):

Masterbation is perfectly normal but for such a young girl it seems like you may have deeper issues. You shouldnt feel guilty if it is what you want but you should step back and see why your doing it. Maybe talk to your mom or older sister. I saddens me to hear young people so wrapped up in sex. Be young enjoy it.

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A female reader, ChelsieSue United States +, writes (29 December 2009):

ChelsieSue agony auntmasterbation is normal, i'm 15 tooo(: and i do it too. there is no reason to feeel guilty, everyone does it. just because you do it more, doesnt make you a bad person. hahaa, yerr just reallly gonna enjoy sexx. bahaaa. i hope i helpped, goood luck, and remember-goood person:)

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