A
female
age
30-35,
*awwwwr
writes:I was in a long distance relationship with a guy who lives many miles away from me for 8 months. We recently broke up after I found out that the entire relationship was almost all lies. He has cheated on me twice, lied about his sexual past, and said that he was never really completely in love with me. We had exchanged Christmas gifts, but I found out that he had lied about sending me anything.He has sincerely apologized for the things he has done to me, and I do really believe that he is sorry, but he has hurt me so much I don't feel that I could give him another chance. We agreed to stay friends because we were still very good friends before.I had real feelings for him and I feel so betrayed, hurt, and depressed. He was my first really serious relationship and I am having trouble letting this go.How do I move on from something like this? And how do keep myself from wanting it back just because it is familiar to me? I'm unsure about whether I should give the relationship another shot one day if the situation was better (eg. we lived closer to each other)Also, after I give myself some time to heal I'd like to start dating men again, but I'm not entirely sure where or how to meet them. So any tips would be great.Thank you.
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broke up, cheated on me, christmas, depressed, long distance, move on, sexual past Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (28 February 2009):
I am really sorry that that guy treated you so badly. You deserve so much more than a guy who would do that to you. You deserve a guy who will be faithful to you, respect you, love you, care for you, be honest and loyal.
So he apologised for what he did...that doesnt change the fact that he did it. Obviously at the time he thought he could justify what he did. Most likely he though its ok if he doesnt get caught. He got caught, so now hes saying sorry.
I get the feeling that maybe you are blaming yourself. You said you might give the r/ship another go if you both lived closer. Believe me, if you lived closer, he would of still done the same things. A decent guy just doesnt do those things.
I think you are in love with someone who doesnt really exist. You thought you knew him, but he isnt the guy who you thoought you knew, and you have jsut found that out. I know it hurts so much!!! But trust me, be strong, stay away from him, and you will move on and you will feel so much better. I suggest you cut contact iwth him, because if you keep contact its only going to make it harder for you to move on. Tell him you need space and maybe sometime in the future you can be friends again, but not right now.
It will take time, so be patient with yourself. How you are feeling is normal considering what you have been through. It may help talking to people about it. Do you have any close friends or family you could talk to about this often? Maybe a counsellor if not?
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