A
female
age
30-35,
*hicken999
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year now and the other day i found out he had been watching porn on my computer and lying to be about what he was doing. I was so incredibly hurt by this I cried non stop for days, it feels like im not good enough, like he wants other girls not me, i hate it so much it feels like i've been cheated on. I've tried to tell him how i feel but he won't listen and doesn't seem to care. He sort of said he won't do it again but I know he will, he doesn't care about how it makes me feel at all. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): If porn is something taht is making you feel this way about yourself, then it is always going to. Some girls don't mind and some girls feel very hurt by it. Don't try to change yourself to make it ok in your eyes.. it won't work.
It is made to seem very normal but there are guys out there who don't watch it. There are even some on this site and i bet if you posted "Are there any men here who don't watch porn," you would see and maybe feel better about hope for the future.
I found a man who is repulsed by the idea of porn and never has laid eyes on it. My ex was addicted to it and i tried to make it ok, but i couldn't. everyday, i felt worse and worse.
Do whatever will make you an overally happier person.
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Most boys look at porn for all different reasons.
Some are to find different things to try during sex or to just think about something while they are masterbating. This doesn't mean that he would rarther be with another woman. Your boyfriend loves you but its natural to find other people attractive but just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you want to be with them.
My boyfriend watchs porn, the guys at his work have it on constantly but it doesn't bother me at all because i know he loves me and wouldn't go off with anyone. Trust your boyfriend.
You could try watching it with him? It might be a turn on for the both of you.
Good luck
Livia
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Why are you bothered that he watches porn ?! Its a natural thing for lads to do .. It doesnt mean hes cheating on you or he likes you any less .. Its just something that most lads like, it a private male thing they do on their own or with mates, its not like hes cheating on you! I think the reason your bothered is because your jelous of him looking at other girls in a sexual way but in reality you should be glad that hes looking at these girls in this way as you know hell never be able to get them anyway!!
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (14 April 2009):
A bf SHOULD care about your feelings. If he doesnt, then you have to ask yourself why are you staying in a relationship with someone who doesnt care about you? Dont you think you deserve to be cared about, and to have a bf who is sensitive towards your feelings? I think you do!
Does he react like this in many other situations? How does he respond to when you are upset about other things, especially when its about something he has done? If he acts the same way then I would say you have a definate big problem on your hands.
I can see why you are feeling like you are not good enough for him, I think thats a common reaction for women when they find out their bf is watching porn. But you must realise that it does not mean you arent good enough for him...infact you are probably too good for him.
I think you should try talking to him about it again, in a calm manner, and if he still cant seem to understand or show one tiny bit of empathy, then it might be time to end the r/ship? After all how can a r/ship survive when one person is lieing and not caring about the others feelings? Thats not healthy. you deserve more.
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