| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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I'm heartbroken! When I asked my Bf if he saw us having a future together, he replied saying "I don't know."
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 and a half years. I finally bring up the question... "Do you see us together in the future? Do you see us having a future together?" He comes back with the answer.. "I don't know." To ...
A. 10 December 2011: well first and foremost, I would not use parents as a comparison basis, because they usually have their romance stories down and the actual events' bumps along the way are smoothed over after years of happy marriage (at least in my parents case ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend waiting to propose, or was he just joking?
Q. I have a question... I've been living with my boyfriend for a little over a year, we're very open and have a good relationship. We've spoken about marriage a bit, and we've both been in a few long term relationships before this. We were joking ...
A. 10 December 2011: well he did say he was considering jewelry for you. It sort of depends on his tone, but if someone said to me I have to wait for the right time, I think I would not consider that to be an engagement hint, because it sounds too hypothetical, or too ... (read in full...)
What does an orgasm feel like?
Q. What does an orgasim feel like? My legs will shake and I'll feel like I'm about to pee but I'm not sure if that's what it is....
A. 10 December 2011: miamine's right. you're close. basically, if you feel like you've finally peed [doesn't mean you DO or that you 'squirt'], and if you feel involuntary contractions, like a pulse for somewhere between 5 seconds and a minute or so, then you've ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that our marriage could be cursed?
Q. Can you imagine,that a marrige could be cursed? Ever since I meet my husband,my life,and now ours is a complete tragedy. THere was someone at the begining who said this marriage is doomed, you better get out. But, I did not think , any ...
A. 10 December 2011: I'm not completely following, but death is a part of life, so you really can't blame your marriage on that. what's important is how you two make out with the tragedies surrounding you--is your husband your solace? your comfort? do you unite and ... (read in full...)
Been together 10 years, married for 6 1/2 yrs, we have sex 5 times a week, but I'm still a virgin because there's been no vaginal sex!!
Q. I am very in love with my husband, we have been married 6 1/2 years. There is a big age difference between him and I, I am 28, he is 48. His son is older than me, he is 30. My husband was married to his 1st wife, this might sound bad but w...
A. 10 December 2011: I find that incredibly weird. Have you ever expressed your own interests in your sex life ie. suggested having vaginal sex? I guess I find it weird because I consider these acts more of domination/submission than intimacy, this is completely ... (read in full...)
Boundaries: necessary but getting pushed - help!
Q. Hiya Agony Aunts and Uncles, I have a query for you experienced folks, beyond your teen years. I'm turning sixteen in a matter of days, and my boyfriend will turn seventeen in less than a month, we've been dating for sixth months, but we fell for ...
A. 8 December 2011: 1) talking about the future: I think you two are projecting too much. 6 months is a long time for a high school relationship and you two care about each other, but I think what you need to do is just take things one step at a time. Don't think about ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't showing concern for my problem!
Q. Hi there. Okay I'm having a serious problem now with my boyfriend "Jim". Everything was going fine until just three days ago. One of my best friends got all mad at me because I was TRYING to comfort her after the guy she really liked rejected...
A. 3 December 2011: well, first, the girl: let's be honest here: that girl is doing you a favor. she's negative energy, you said she's mean, and she's trying to associate with like-minded people (ie lackeys and jerks). she didn't like you because you thought for ... (read in full...)
I miss the freedom and thrill of being single but I do love my boyfriend and don't want to lose him!
Q. I'm having a difficult time at the moment. I've been with my partner for 3 years now and I love him to pieces. However I miss the freedom and thrill of being single. I don't want to lose him as I love him so much but I'm not sure what to do. My boss ...
A. 3 December 2011: if you don't want to lose him you should never go through with this boss thing. you've already crossed relationship and professional lines by engaging in these propositions with your boss, and if i were your bf would lose trust in you already. if ... (read in full...)
We're both virgins, should I expect him to be somewhat skilled?
Q. Okay, this might be a little odd and maybe shallow, but I was wondering: guys, how were you the first time you had sex? And girls, were you pleasantly surprised or not? I ask because my boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time and...
A. 3 December 2011: yes don't ask him about the skills he hasn't had a chance to develop yet, but do ask him what he's expecting, a little so you're on the same page. you could even do a little research together, like Odds mentioned, plus that research might get you ... (read in full...)
Am I embarrassing him, and how do I find out if I am?
Q. I have a problem with maintaining heat, so I get cold very easily. My friend is of the opposite sex and 2 years older than me, but he is the warmest one of my friends, and when I get cold it is important that I try to stay as warm as I can so I ...
A. 1 December 2011: yay! glad it worked out :)... (read in full...)
Am I embarrassing him, and how do I find out if I am?
Q. I have a problem with maintaining heat, so I get cold very easily. My friend is of the opposite sex and 2 years older than me, but he is the warmest one of my friends, and when I get cold it is important that I try to stay as warm as I can so I ...
A. 29 November 2011: lol that's different! okay, so I think i'd just ask him, even if it's in front of others, if you're being too needy or invading his personal space too much. although i think the answer's no, i don't think he minds it ;). I think if you took him ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband? He's accusing me of cheating because an ex co-worker randomly texted me!
Q. My husband and I have been having problems for a while now but our marriage is still surviving (Husband Money problems, Infertility issues from my husband side, problems with my In Laws , etc). Just to make things more complicated one night while ...
A. 29 November 2011: sorry for the double dosage, accident!... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband? He's accusing me of cheating because an ex co-worker randomly texted me!
Q. My husband and I have been having problems for a while now but our marriage is still surviving (Husband Money problems, Infertility issues from my husband side, problems with my In Laws , etc). Just to make things more complicated one night while ...
A. 29 November 2011: You're embarrassed because you're called out on something that's partially true. Maybe you thought you were hiding it well, or maybe it hurts to hear out loud, but now that it's out there, you two should consider this a crossroads point to not let ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my husband? He's accusing me of cheating because an ex co-worker randomly texted me!
Q. My husband and I have been having problems for a while now but our marriage is still surviving (Husband Money problems, Infertility issues from my husband side, problems with my In Laws , etc). Just to make things more complicated one night while ...
A. 29 November 2011: You're embarrassed because you're called out on something that's partially true. Maybe you thought you were hiding it well, or maybe it hurts to hear out loud, but now that it's out there, you two should consider this a crossroads point to not let ... (read in full...)
Am I embarrassing him, and how do I find out if I am?
Q. I have a problem with maintaining heat, so I get cold very easily. My friend is of the opposite sex and 2 years older than me, but he is the warmest one of my friends, and when I get cold it is important that I try to stay as warm as I can so I ...
A. 29 November 2011: if you're not romantically interested in him, i think that you should just layer up a little more or buy/wear a heating pad and not be physical with him. that way you're not taking advantage of his body without sending mixed messages. ... (read in full...)
I wanted to ask his advice on getting a tattoo. But he didn't want to know. Is he just being mean to me?
Q. So I've been talking to this guy and everything seemed Like it was going good until today . I texted him and told him I was watching this movie and he said lol I have fun and then I told him it's weird and I need his help he said wish I could ...
A. 26 November 2011: Yea I think you've misinterpreted what he's said. I think he's saying how can he help. Your text though, made it sound serious and that may have freaked him out- if someone sent me a txt without context saying they needed help i would think ... (read in full...)
LD Boyfriend takes snapshots of me on skype.
Q. Hi. I just found out recently that my boyfriend takes snapshots of me while we talk on Skype. He did that for every time we talked on Skype, we are in a long distance relationship. And he took SO MANY like really TOO MUCH pictures. He just showe...
A. 25 November 2011: I guess I'd say it depends on how many he's taken for me to find it entirely weird. Is it hundreds? I mean there's nothing wrong with him liking you and wanting to look at pictures of you, but I would ask him why he doesn't warn you about when he ... (read in full...)
I "insulted" my husband about his performance in bed and I think I deeply wounded his ego. How do I fix it?
Q. I "insulted" my husband and I think I deeply wounded his ego. He cant please me in bed and he has stopped trying to quite a while back. I told him that what he is doing isn't working. He told me he never had problems pleasing women in the past. I ...
A. 22 November 2011: I know you didn't mean it as harshly as you did but you basically said not only do you not pleasure me but you've never pleasured ANY woman, which does go beyond necessity to say. I would give him a couple of days to cool off, tell him you were out ... (read in full...)
Email traffic with my first love suddenly quit?
Q. A few months back I started talking to my first love. It started off innocent and then got flirty. He told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me and I said the same. We made plans to meet but it didn't work out. Our emails started getting ...
A. 18 November 2011: break up with the person you're involved with because you're not respecting them. first love probably either got caught by his gf or decided he liked her better than you. I would quit this game while you're relatively not invested.... (read in full...)
Everything went great, he took me to his house, I met his mom...but then he tried to kiss me and I freaked out! Now he's gone from calling and texting me everyday to nothing!
Q. I am a freshman in college. I met this Cuban guy in the Finacial aid office and I have been thinking of him ever since...... I had a little crush on him. Two months later I saw him again at the library, and he said I wonder why I keep running into ...
A. 16 November 2011: I thought you found everything about him amazing and you're really into him? why did you react so violently? you hurt his feelings. Go find him and talk to him and explain that you like him despite your reaction, and probably why you reacted that ... (read in full...)
Just learned that I may not be my son's father
Q. I need to make a HUGE possibly life changing decision. My wife and I are married for almost 15 years. When we met she had just broken up with her ex-bf. We dated for about 6 months when she told me she was pregnant. I did the right thing, and we ...
A. 16 November 2011: I know you feel your wife MAY not have been honest with you, but don't stoop down to a level that you don't know your wife has taken by deviously getting a hair sample from the child. I agree with the previous aunt that it doesn't seem like ... (read in full...)
I think he's interested in me. He squeezed my thigh when we met. What do I do next?
Q. Hey guys, c: So, lately, I've been dealing with this issue for about two weeks to be exact. There is this guy I like, and he makes it obvious he feels the same. For example, when I first met him, he squeezed my thigh and smiled. He usually sat...
A. 13 November 2011: well this is a time in your life when guys are still cute and new, and you're figuring out what kind of guys you click with and don't click with. It's good that you a) both figured out that you didn't see any potential there and b) told him this, so ... (read in full...)
She is the one. I want to be honest with her, but I'm ashamed of my past. How can I be honest and not lose her?
Q. I guess this is a question about dealing with my past and its potential consequences on a relationship. It is also about how much you need to tell about your sexual history. For just over a year now I have been going out with this girl and sh...
A. 13 November 2011: I think this is going to be okay. Everyone has a past, everyone has a romantic/intimate past of sorts, and if you are in as loving a relationship as you say, if she's in it in the long haul as you say, if you two are looking at 60+ years together, ... (read in full...)
I think I'm more emotionally involved than he is, should I just cut contact?
Q. I've recently became single after being in relationships since i was 16, im now 20, and i'm finding it diffcult to get back into dating again. firstly i have been talking to a guy on the internet who i used to go to school with but he moved away. we ...
A. 13 November 2011: I think you should set a date and make sure he comes to see you. If he doesn't express enough interest in a concrete day, move on. ... (read in full...)
He's trying to stop drinking but it always ends in tears!
Q. I have had a horrible evening, my partner is trying to stop drinking, for the sake of ou relationship, its been happening for 3 years, he has stolen from me and others to get drink. i have ended this relationship time after time. because of ...
A. 13 November 2011: This man is out of control, and he's going to bring you and your family down with him if you let him. I know that it's difficult being a single parent but you see how it is affecting her, that she knows this man is threatening to hit you and is ... (read in full...)
I'm an girl and gay. But if these feelings I have for him are real, then don't I owe it to us both to give it a shot?
Q. I'm an 18 year old girl, who's always identified as gay, came out when I was 14, literally NEVER been attracted to guys, the whole works. Then I started uni a couple of months ago, got settled, built up a new friendship group. One of my closest ...
A. 12 November 2011: You need to give this a shot. you two haven't been friends in the traditional sense since the first time you decided to curl up together. just because you've associated yourself a certain way doesn't mean there aren't exceptions to every rule. it ... (read in full...)
The kiss was a step too far
Q. This is a little embarrassing to talk about. Well, my roommate and I had started experimenting with each other earlier in the year, and now we do quite a bit of stuff on more of a regular basis. Anyway, recently while we were messing around, ...
A. 12 November 2011: he's in a little bit of denial here. he might think it's "gay" to kiss, but not to f*** a hole, but if it was just about physically using each other, he could just masturbate. I would stop messing around with him because sounds like you don't want ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to think I'm gay or bisexual after looking at my life, what do you think?
Q. Ive been thinking lately i am bi/gay. Ive been denying these feelings since i was atleast inbetween 15-17 years old now im 29. after having same sex experiences,watching gay porn, i get abit denial at times... i really do want to have a wife and ...
A. 12 November 2011: hey there,
I don't think you're gay, like you say, you want to settle down with a woman sometime. But you dabble in both, you're interested in both, I think it's okay to say you're bi. one thing I noticed though is that it's all about the phys... (read in full...)
I think he's interested in me. He squeezed my thigh when we met. What do I do next?
Q. Hey guys, c: So, lately, I've been dealing with this issue for about two weeks to be exact. There is this guy I like, and he makes it obvious he feels the same. For example, when I first met him, he squeezed my thigh and smiled. He usually sat...
A. 12 November 2011: I don't think that's that big of an age gap, even at your age. what is that, freshman and junior, or 8th grade and sophomore? I guess if it's the latter it would be a little weird, and I'd say keep a friendship thing up until you get to high school ... (read in full...)
I can't tel my boyfriend about my emotional problems
Q. I feel like I can't tell my boyfriend about any of my emotional problems because I don't want to worry him or because I know he won't be able to help but I feel like I have no one to talk to anymore. When I tell him I feel down or depressed he just ...
A. 10 November 2011: He might think that the best way to get you out of a funk is to distract you from the source of the problem, and not realize that this action actually diminishes what the problem is. I'm not blaming you, because it's difficult to bring up things ... (read in full...)
Is this guy genuine?
Q. Hi there i'm in a bit of a dilema..i think. I'm a 19 year old female who started seeing a 24 year old male in April. We met at a nightclub i was outside in the smoking area with a friend when he walked past also with a friend. He stared at me as he...
A. 9 November 2011: "I won't be able to see him until his jaw is fully healed"
exactly why is that? if he sees you, his jaw will fall off and it will be SOO embarassing? It all just doesn't make sense. He's putting you off so he can get through the holidays with his ... (read in full...)
I cheated to find out if I really love my girlfriend
Q. Ok, this is a pretty big problem. Me and my gf have been together for 7 months now. Well the 7th Month was the shittiest ever. We had no sex what so ever and she was totally strange the whole time. We can only see eachother on the weekends because ...
A. 7 November 2011: your guilt is telling you its love. your heart already told you it wasn't. leave her. ... (read in full...)
Is this guy genuine?
Q. Hi there i'm in a bit of a dilema..i think. I'm a 19 year old female who started seeing a 24 year old male in April. We met at a nightclub i was outside in the smoking area with a friend when he walked past also with a friend. He stared at me as he...
A. 6 November 2011: I can't explain all of the injuries, but I do think something shady is going on. He probably has a wife/family or live-in girlfriend. Ask to see photos of his old flat. Tell him you want his address because you want to send him a care package and ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for him, how do I know if he feels the same?
Q. I've been friends with a guy for years. Lately, we can spend hours (literally, 12-13 hours at a time) just sitting and talking without noticing the time pass and then I don't want to go home. Everything makes me think of him. You can probably guess ...
A. 6 November 2011: 95% chance he likes you, I find it highly unlikely that he wouldn't be romantically interested in you. I don't even invest such chunks of time with my girl friends. Why don't you ask him something like why he likes hanging out with you so much. ... (read in full...)
I donated a kidney for love, how do I tell my parents back home?
Q. I am form Pakistan but currently on visit visa in States. On third day of my visit, two months back, I went to strip dance club and fell in love with striptease dancer who was beautiful beyond description. After meeting her, for next two weeks, ...
A. 6 November 2011: why do you have to tell them about you only have one kidney now? you're an adult, you're making some..interesting choices but they're yours and you can own them without approval of surgery.
I know you say you're in love but I would take it a lit... (read in full...)
This guy should come with a warning label!!!
Q. So I've been dating this guy for about 3 weeks. He's 55, I'm 42. I got divorced a year ago after 15 years of marriage and haven't dated or had sex with anyone at all during this mourning period. The guy I'm dating at first claimed he had just broken ...
A. 6 November 2011: I am sorry about your attack. that guy didn't care about you from the beginning, so I'm not too surprised he hasn't contacted you. I am not trying to minimize your hurt feelings, but from your story, you two went on one official date which ended ... (read in full...)
I do not know her father's name. Should I leave that blank on the form? Or put my new boyfriend's name on the pre-school form as "father" to avoid questions?
Q. I was raped nearly 3 years ago by a disgusting guy at a friends party. I didnt know who he was and still dont. What he did to me was awful but it had a hidden blessing. It created a beautiful baby girl who i love to bits. I decided to keep the baby...
A. 6 November 2011: I would just write "absent" or not applicable. it's not like she's going to find out through the paperwork that you wrote that, she'll be curious just be virtue of the other kids. You tell her when you're ready, although I wouldn't make it older ... (read in full...)
Is my hiv risk high?
Q. A month ago I had unprotected sex with a guy who possibly has multiple partners. however, he said he's clean. 4 days later i had unprotected sex again with another guy. is my hiv risk high?...
A. 6 November 2011: a) stop doing this. condoms are cheap if you go the right places (planned parenthood, almost any college campus). you realize the danger, you take on the responsibility of protecting yourself.
b) you're probably ok, STDS like gonnherrea are more... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't talk to me at his birthday-party! Did I overreact?
Q. It was my boyfriend's birthday and he invited a lot of friends to his house. The problem is he stopped to chat with everyone but me and that got me really upset. He often looked at me to see if I was doing ok, but I kinda missed him and started ...
A. 6 November 2011: Why didn't you just go up to him instead of waiting for him to come over all night? It really was his night, so it makes sense that he'd want to be enjoyed by all and circulate and make sure everyone was having a good time. you should have ... (read in full...)
Dating a man a family member used to date?
Q. Am i wrong for falling in love with a guy my aunt use to date while back? we been seeing each other for about 9months but what should i do because i really dont want to go through with it now that our secret is coming out and dont want my family to ...
A. 30 October 2011: I think this is dangerous territory that you probably should not have ventured into, not to mention the kind of incesty feeling from it, but you need to nip suspecions in the bud and talk directly to this aunt so she doesn't catch wind from someone ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure whats wrong, could I possibly be pregnant even though I'm on the needle?
Q. Uh, i have no clue how to put this. ill just try my best. Lately iv been feelings a bit weird. i feel like im going to vomit pretty much all day every day. I get full off like nothing pretty much, i pee millions of times. i havnt had sex sinc...
A. 30 October 2011: How long have you been on the needle? Maybe your body is still adjusting to it?... (read in full...)
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