| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
|
I'm scared my b/f won't come back home!
Q. My boyfriend got a job out west. We were driving together as I decided to go with him. We got in a car accident and came back home. The next day I took him to the airport, and I stayed behind. He said he's coming home to stay with me in august but I ...
A. 23 June 2012: why can't you join him at that point in Dec? I thought he was coming home in aug for good? I think when he comes you'll need to sit down with him and have an honest talk about how long distance is going and where you two are headed, whether he still ... (read in full...)
He offered me sexual freedom ---
Q. Hi All Basically, I want some help to know whether i should start dating my friend. Im 26, single and live in Perth Australia. His name is "Daniel" and we have been friends and worked together for three years (we both have our own businesses...
A. 23 June 2012: This seems like a mutually agreed upon concept, that you are out of his league, which is sort of a disturbing premise to start something, don't you think? Originally I suggested dating so that you would become more invested so as to not hurt him. I ... (read in full...)
We love each other..but I hate myself
Q. Hey all, bare with me, this may be long. Okay, there's this amazing guy..we have been a thing for over two years. he has asked me to be his girlfriend, but I say no because I'm not good enough. He says he loves me, I know I love him too, but I h...
A. 9 June 2012: He's not in love with your complexion or the way you put your mascara on. He's in love with your heart, your personality, your spirit. If he broke out into a rash, what would your reaction to him be? If you think 'not so bad' that's probably how he ... (read in full...)
He offered me sexual freedom ---
Q. Hi All Basically, I want some help to know whether i should start dating my friend. Im 26, single and live in Perth Australia. His name is "Daniel" and we have been friends and worked together for three years (we both have our own businesses...
A. 9 June 2012: exactly! win win- best of luck :)... (read in full...)
He offered me sexual freedom ---
Q. Hi All Basically, I want some help to know whether i should start dating my friend. Im 26, single and live in Perth Australia. His name is "Daniel" and we have been friends and worked together for three years (we both have our own businesses...
A. 9 June 2012: why don't you suggest the middle ground that you want, that you two start dating but are not 'official' yet and have time to determine if you can see yourself being monogamous with him? While you think you know him right now, maybe in a dating ... (read in full...)
I'm scared my b/f won't come back home!
Q. My boyfriend got a job out west. We were driving together as I decided to go with him. We got in a car accident and came back home. The next day I took him to the airport, and I stayed behind. He said he's coming home to stay with me in august but I ...
A. 1 June 2012: If you've healed from the accident, can't you catch a plane to be with him? Trust in him. He can BOTH enjoy a new area of the country AND be in love with you, and you have no reason to doubt him when he says he can't wait to put a ring on your ... (read in full...)
Can I be friends with my ex?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I started speaking again 5 months ago, after over a year of no contact after we broke up. We're extremely close and neither of us have the desire to get back together (although I wouldn't say those feelings have completely died ...
A. 26 May 2012: I know you didn't ask for advice on this topic but i think it's generally understood that people should have be allowed to flirt with others before dating the partner, that he was allowed to have a past. Paranoia breeds paranoia and misery, it will ... (read in full...)
Should I embrace the fact that I am ghangeing or stay true to my formerself?
Q. Around 3 years ago me and my family moved to the rule country side. now I was never particularly keen on this idea, but my father needed the job and where ever he went i went. now i had always been a city girl all my life, so it was difficult to ...
A. 24 May 2012: you shouldn't take the hair as a sign you need to change, that was just sun exposure doin' its weird thing, and maybe people have found it's a flattering color on you, but you shouldn't think of it as people or nature symbolically endorsing your ... (read in full...)
I got drunk, things went downhill. How do I fix things with this great guy?
Q. met a guy (new one) back in december. i really liked him and things were going good! i was a little insecure with his ex and stuff and i kept bringing it up initially i put him down too as a result because my ex cheated on me…i thought he too will ...
A. 23 May 2012: If you two are long distance, I find it weird that you are trying to get him to stop smoking for your smoking allergy. Addicts, even plain old cigarette addicts, need to quit at their own pace in their own time, and their backsliding shouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Should I embrace the fact that I am ghangeing or stay true to my formerself?
Q. Around 3 years ago me and my family moved to the rule country side. now I was never particularly keen on this idea, but my father needed the job and where ever he went i went. now i had always been a city girl all my life, so it was difficult to ...
A. 23 May 2012: I think it's inevitable that when you're around a new culture you're going to resist it a little, because it throws in the face of everything you learn and knew to be the 'right' way to behave, and just because of its difference, but ultimately the ... (read in full...)
I can't take it! I cheated and told my girlfriend but the guilt is killing me!
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend 6 months ago and we have been dating for 7 months now, i felt so horrible and i told her what i did.. i didnt tell her everything i did though with the girl so i started feeling guilty again then told her the rest i did ...
A. 22 May 2012: If you've already told her all of the cheating, you are just going to pain her to tell her the dirty details. If she is able to accept you, you must now accept yourself. you may be able to get by by just following her cues, treating her EXTRAwell, ... (read in full...)
Bitterness from boyfriend flirting
Q. My bf and I have been together for about 1.5 years now n he is now completely commited to me, but in the beggining he used to flirt with these girls. I brought up that it bothered me, then we argued, and he still insisted that she was just a friend ...
A. 12 May 2012: The bitterness ends when you choose it to. Make it end today. Either forgive him and never look back, or dump him. You can't hold the past against him, otherwise you two won't develop as a couple and grow together. ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to my boyfriend about this, or should I finish with him?
Q. Should i talk to my boyfriend about this, or should i finish with him ?. He went to another town yesterday to see a friend of his and his sister. He was there from the morning until today. He sent me a text message yesterday morning, saying that he ...
A. 10 May 2012: If he was drunk when he made plans, maybe he didn't remember making them or was still too drunk to remember to make it. I'd be peeved too about him blowing you off but just wait for him to sort his crap out, get his act together, and contact you. ... (read in full...)
I need help deciding whether to end my 6 year relationship or not....
Q. Contemplating ending a 6 year relationship with a good man who loves me. Nobody's perfect and I have ongoing beefs with him but he is loyal and true and MAY be doing his best to make me happy-- I need your input to decide. We have very differ...
A. 9 May 2012: Just because there is no end date in sight doesn't mean it's the permanent arrangement. Had she been going to a four year college, she would still be out of the job, not paying anyone anything, the only difference being she'd be stranded on a campus ... (read in full...)
Do most relationships end when one of you goes to college/university?
Q. I met a wonderful girl though a friend 4 months ago, and that was it. We see eachother most nights and all weekend and it's just great. I'm really fussy but she is just perfect and she tells me i am the perfect guy that every girl dreams of. Her ...
A. 9 May 2012: I'm not super clear on whether this is graduate studies or undergraduate that she'd be working on-if it's graduate, there's usually less partying. I know it's still pretty early in the relationship, but does she have to live on campus? maybe you ... (read in full...)
My friends and family always seem to call me when I'm with my boyfriend! Is it rude to tell them not to call me when I'm away with him this weekend?
Q. It seems like everytime I hangout with my boyfriend my friends and family all seem to call and text me. Sometimes it is just a weird coincidence. My one friend likes to call me a lot. I plan on staying with my boyfriend this weekend. My question is, ...
A. 9 May 2012: Tell everyone you think will call you are having a phone-free weekend, so if they want to try to reach you, they'll get voicemail. And then just turn your phone off.... (read in full...)
I thought he was the perfect guy but all his excuses are making me doubt that.
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in a relationship with this guy for 3yrs., we met on a dating site, he lives about 3hrs., away from me. The question is 1. He always has an excuses for not visiting on holidays(says he dosen't like to drive on holidays, its too ...
A. 9 May 2012: I'm so happy for you, what manipulative user and loser..I look forward to you finding happiness with others. Take care!... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so bad for breaking up with him?
Q. Okay so I'm 14, a freshman in high school and I met this guy who told me he was a senior and 17. He asked me out the same day we met and I agreed. The next day, when I saw him at school he was acting really weird. He tried to make out with me, tried ...
A. 5 May 2012: your mom just did you the biggest favor. imagine if you broke up a year from now--what kind of stalking would ensue then! Don't feel bad, he has a lot of growing up to do before he can learn not to be a possessive creepy person. Please tell school ... (read in full...)
Difficult boyfriend or ex-boyfriend?
Q. Hello! I was seeing this guy for one month. Lately he has been very stressed out and he kept telling me that he gets very tired and that he has many things on his mind. I know, it was all true and not lies. That was the reason we couldn't see each ...
A. 5 May 2012: I think he used the opportunity to break up with you. You had a valid concern and maybe you weren't tactful, but it was your way of saying you need more than just sex for your needs to be met-you have emotional needs too! His choosing to avoid this ... (read in full...)
"I love u," I texted. "Not a chance" from him when I asked if he felt the same way. Now this text. What does he mean?
Q. Hai. Okay i fell inlove with a guy at my school. He was always looking at me strangly for a year. It hit me by surprise and i immediately fell inlove with him. We never talked, im afraid of talking to him because he s one of the most wanted ...
A. 5 May 2012: General rule of thumb when you're deeply, deeply, attracted to someone is not to declare their love for them until you are sure they are the person you THINK they are and not who you've constructed in your head as them being. I had a strong crush on ... (read in full...)
Going to senior prom with my friend: is this a proper 'date' or just a 'friend-date'?
Q. Yes, I'm having one of those teen-cliche-romance issues. Senior Prom: the word says it all. So I need to know, is this a "date" or a friend-date? And should my friend be mad at me? My guy friend, D, and I have known eachother since the learning...
A. 4 May 2012: How long ago did he ask you? I would ask him if he's sure he's interested in you and not just your proximity to the friend, but maybe he likes being silly with her, like as a friend, but likes other things about you. If he really likes you he may be ... (read in full...)
I talk too much for her
Q. I am having a really hard time effectively communicating with my fiance. The chief complaint is that I am too long winded and I am constantly speaking about the negative things I see around me. We used to talk for hours(mostly me ) when we got toge...
A. 29 April 2012: I think my concern is you say You used to talk for hours...emphasis on the you. Changing your whole life view or making an effort to actively reroute cognitive pathways to more positive ones is something that takes work and discipline. if you want ... (read in full...)
I think he needs to accept that he did something while drunk, how do I discuss it with him?
Q. I kinda had a small bump with my boyfriend. We did not see each other this weekend which is fine I made this choice, but I called him last night to talk to him for a bit before I went to bed and he was drunk. He was playing a world wide online video ...
A. 25 April 2012: I disagree with the responses here. I don't think it's so much that you felt you HAD to be right, but it's rather disturbing that he could not even recall a)speaking to her b)making trashy comments to someone and c) his vehement denial that he would ... (read in full...)
I think he needs to accept that he did something while drunk, how do I discuss it with him?
Q. I kinda had a small bump with my boyfriend. We did not see each other this weekend which is fine I made this choice, but I called him last night to talk to him for a bit before I went to bed and he was drunk. He was playing a world wide online video ...
A. 23 April 2012: maybe he just needs time to process it; you have no reason to lie about it, and YOU were the sober one, not him. in any case it's sort of a big deal that he's going around black out drunk to begin with. Is this a common occurrence with him? In any ... (read in full...)
My fiance stood me up at my work event. Is it reason to leave him?
Q. My fiance stood me up at my work event. My job had this fund raising event; we decided that I should go in first since he was not going to be able to make it on time. My bf was supposed to meet me at the Event. When he arrives, I was having a ...
A. 21 April 2012: Sounds like he has some severe social anxiety. It sucks that he lied about work, but I also think that you may have misrepresented to him how much you were going to make him comfortable at the event OR you wanted so much to enjoy the event with him ... (read in full...)
I found someone I could open up to but think I ruined our chance
Q. so i've got a bit an issue when it comes to committment and opening myself up. in fact, a bit is a drastic understatement. i'm really good at having short-term, meaningless strings of relationships. and if i find someone who remotely interests me, i ...
A. 21 April 2012: Well, technically, you haven't had a friendship; once you have sex with someone you're not really in the friend zone anymore. I'll tell you what, if the girl were coming on here for advice, we would be telling her that you are playing her, you are ... (read in full...)
Is it better to be indifferent to others?
Q. hello everyone ^.^ ogenki-desu ka? lol let me stop My friend told me this "The less you give a damn, the more people will give a damn," Basically he was telling me that I should just stop caring about other people and do my own thing sometim...
A. 21 April 2012: I don't think indifferent is the right way to phrase it, because then you will be too cold to others, but if you're overly concerned with what others think of you or others' problems and tend to bend over backwards to please them then you may be ... (read in full...)
Are we going too fast?
Q. This is going to sound really awkward so bare with me. Basically my best friend has been continually harassed throughout her relationship, having people tell her boyfriend she is cheating etc. One of the guys she was accused of cheating with is...
A. 19 April 2012: If he's a gentleman, he will allow you to set the pace of the romance. I know that sounds old school but because most dudes are willing to go all the way any time any day, a good guy will recognize it will be better to defer to the girl, so that she ... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring me again?
Q. I just want honest views on this situation please. I realize it doesn't look like he wants me or is a player, I don;t know. Either way he is obviously treating me bad. Anyway, here is the story. The guy I started seeing is ignoring me-for the second ...
A. 16 April 2012: I think you're wasting your time if you continue hanging out with him. That story was Really weird, if I understood right he was basically kidnapped? so the options are that he wasn't (most likely obviously) or that he was which would make me think ... (read in full...)
I cry way too much!
Q. I know this website's for relationships, it seems to be a great help for almost any problem. So here's mine. Although I don't know what kind of answer I'm expecting, it's more to get it off my chest. I have a problem. That problem is, I cry way too ...
A. 16 April 2012: A couple of thoughts/tips
*learn to say no. You should have been able to ask for time off for your brother's coming home and gotten someone to take the shift for you. in general, reduce your hours. You need You time and you aren't given the oppo... (read in full...)
I told I'm pregnant, he said "I'll talk to you tomorrow, I don't want to say the wrong thing right now" what does that mean?
Q. Hello, Men! I need your advice, ladies your welcome to opinions as well. I've been dating a man long distance, known him for a year, dating for 5 months, we are not in a committed relationship but we do go and visit each other every 2 months, we ...
A. 14 April 2012: yes he was probably going to speak out of anger or shock but you should have been an adult and told him right off instead of finding out on the internet-why didn't you delete that post and talk to him, I find it an incredibly disrespectful way to ... (read in full...)
Is it best just to stay away from my abusive mother?
Q. I am just writing this for some advice regarding my 68 yr old mother. I am a 46 mother of two and grandmother of one. -ever since i can remember my mother has always put me down - and is constantly nasty. If i ever question her ways she just replies ...
A. 12 April 2012: You are a grown woman. No one deserves to be reduced to anything lesser than that, so yes I would stay away.... (read in full...)
Should I wait around and help my G/f with her life or do what is best for me?
Q. Hello, I am a sophomore in college and things were going great the first year but I've slipped into a huge rut this second year. Anyways, I have been in a great relationship for just over 3 years now. She is my high school sweet heart. Whe...
A. 12 April 2012: No, this really is unacceptable.I'm angry for you. Don't do one more assignment for her. you have to withdraw from her needs in this regard, which obvious consequences are that you are 'allowing' her to fail as she would naturally if you weren't ... (read in full...)
Should I wait around and help my G/f with her life or do what is best for me?
Q. Hello, I am a sophomore in college and things were going great the first year but I've slipped into a huge rut this second year. Anyways, I have been in a great relationship for just over 3 years now. She is my high school sweet heart. Whe...
A. 12 April 2012: I think as long as it's not an accusation or even TOO much tough love, she should understand. School is not as important as her wellbeing and she really should just commit 100% to that for the time being. summer's almost here so she might even be ok ... (read in full...)
Should I wait around and help my G/f with her life or do what is best for me?
Q. Hello, I am a sophomore in college and things were going great the first year but I've slipped into a huge rut this second year. Anyways, I have been in a great relationship for just over 3 years now. She is my high school sweet heart. Whe...
A. 12 April 2012: Oh I'm glad! I hope she takes it okay. ... (read in full...)
Should I wait around and help my G/f with her life or do what is best for me?
Q. Hello, I am a sophomore in college and things were going great the first year but I've slipped into a huge rut this second year. Anyways, I have been in a great relationship for just over 3 years now. She is my high school sweet heart. Whe...
A. 11 April 2012: I think that losing a parent may be good enough reason to withdraw for a semester for 'personal leave', she's not ready to be back there. consider saying while you are there for emotional support you are not there for your academics, as you are ... (read in full...)
Should I wait around and help my G/f with her life or do what is best for me?
Q. Hello, I am a sophomore in college and things were going great the first year but I've slipped into a huge rut this second year. Anyways, I have been in a great relationship for just over 3 years now. She is my high school sweet heart. Whe...
A. 11 April 2012: I would consider reaching out to other family members (her mom or sibilings) to let them know that she's taking it particularly hard and needs extra familial support because you are doing as much as you can but you are spread very thin. ... (read in full...)
He called me unstable!
Q. Dating a man for 6 months, he decided to go back and try again with his ex wife. They are common law 2 teen boys. This is the 4th time they will try again. I was the "rebound" He said he would never go back. So I didn't feel like a home wrecker. I ...
A. 7 April 2012: I am really sorry this happened. I think he was probably projecting, and also probably knew it would drive you further away. HE is the one who cheated, he is the one who has alcoholic tendencies, he is the one that is breaking two women's hearts ... (read in full...)
My friends tell me it's too soon to take this step
Q. Hello aunts and uncles! I'm back again for some advice. Probably here more than I should be but have BPD so its always nice to have a rational insight on what other people think. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 months but have ...
A. 6 April 2012: While I think friends' opinions are important, i think others (like your counselor) is more important. You have a lot of trust in him not because you've been with him for 2 months but 6 years so it sounds a good idea to me. First date I went on with ... (read in full...)
Pregnant, and not sure how or even if to tell my boyfriend.
Q. Hey, so I found out today I'm pregnant, possibly by about 6 weeks, despite using the pill, and I'm not sure how or even if to tell my boyfriend and need some advice. We've been together 18 months now, and are looking for a house to buy together....
A. 4 April 2012: I think that you should bring it up now because without gauging his reaction, you will be assuming a lot of things about if he is ready to handle this. Tell him what you're worrying about if you do bring the child into the world and what you ... (read in full...)
Is my attitude to work wrong? My work bores me, I can't wait to get out at 5pm.
Q. I really need your advice! I'm in my late 20's. I work in a chartered accountancy firm and my job is boring. I start counting down the minutes till 5 from the second I sit down. I know that's wrong and I should be grateful to have a job in th...
A. 4 April 2012: I think I would find that claustrophobic as well. I think you need to start feeling comfortable saying no to the linen functions and even drinks with the group. you are not obligated to do these things, and they obviously click in a way that makes ... (read in full...)
I thought he was the perfect guy but all his excuses are making me doubt that.
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in a relationship with this guy for 3yrs., we met on a dating site, he lives about 3hrs., away from me. The question is 1. He always has an excuses for not visiting on holidays(says he dosen't like to drive on holidays, its too ...
A. 22 June 2011: May 2010? and your last "date" was a funeral? It's over I'm sorry. I don't know why he didn't end it like a man, but you need to start looking around for someone new. If he loved you he wouldn't notice the three hour drive. Hell, he'd move in with ... (read in full...)
| *ishdish's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ishdish has
added them and they have added *ishdish!
|
