| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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Newest answer was posted
30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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Will I ever conceive?
Q. Am 19yrs old i was married immediately i completed high school,my marriage is now one and a half yrs old,since i have been trying to conceive but it doesnt work i recently went to a doc he examind me nd said that i am okay, my husband is very ...
A. 16 March 2011: also, semen is supposed to run out of you, that doesn't mean that microscopically, sperm aren't swimming up the canal and to where your eggs are. ... (read in full...)
The way she treated me while working out her issues has really taken a toll on the relationship
Q. Alright, so yeah I'm 15, if you're not going to take this seriously because of my age I'd suggest you just flat out don't read this. So I've been dating my girlfriend for coming up on 15 months now, awesome, but not really. I met the girl and we ...
A. 21 February 2011: First,i think you two need to be more realistic, in terms of, theres no New gf and Old gf, it's the same girl. Both of you need to accept where she's been and what she's done and if you two did break up and she goes back to her old ways, that's her ... (read in full...)
My guy is making me seriously ill...
Q. My guy is making me seriously ill... Ok so i met these guy on fb(i knoww) when i was 17... i have very controlling parents so i was always a straight A's student, didnt drink, rarely went out.. now im 18 and he's 22.. he is the typical "bad boy...
A. 20 February 2011: You can't use this guy as a crutch for your own mental illness. You say he is MAKING you ill, but it sounds like you are prone to self-destructive behavior (first him verbally abusing you, then you physically abusing yourself). The best thing you ... (read in full...)
Two girls, can't decide
Q. Ok here's my problem, I am a 15 year old boy and I have never been in a real relationship with a girl or even kissed one on the lips. There are two girls that I have interests in. Girl A, I started to talk to her on facebook about 2 months ago when...
A. 19 February 2011: that's understandable-- girl A only wants a friendship at this point, and she should understand that her saying she wasn't ready mean you don't need to wait for her. I'd doubt that she'd be offended you tried your luck with girl B. ... (read in full...)
I feel as though I'm doing something wrong when it comes to oral!
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for quite a while and then we broke up. Before that we gave each other oral sex etc and really loved each other. In the few months that we were apart we saw other people etc. (I dated a VERY BAD kisser) We're back tog...
A. 19 February 2011: Before overanalyzing, why don't you check with him to see what he thinks of your kissing/blow job technique. you can be upfront and say you feel out of practice or aren't sure if he likes it like he used to, or is there a technique he prefers that ... (read in full...)
I'm losing him because of my anger issues
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 6 months and I think the absolute world of him. Earlier today though, I lost all control and smacked him twice. He stormed out of my house after. I've had troubles with my temper since I was a little ...
A. 19 February 2011: Just let him cool off for a little bit. It's probably particularly humiliating for a man to be hit by a woman. just let him know you're working on it; know that even if he and you are never the same, that this should be even more incentive that you ... (read in full...)
I texted her when I was drunk and now our relationship is in trouble. How can I fix things with her?
Q. Im in a relationship for about 4 months. We have never fought, just miscommunications. My Girlfriend got really upset about a text message which I sent to her. It was 8pm and I was very drunk and mad, because we had plans for valentines day go to a ...
A. 18 February 2011: there seem to be a couple of issues here:
was her car really broken down/ did she really have kidney problems? i think it's weird that she said it was broken but then was all no it's fine--so was it broken or not?! i understand you feeling ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend have a problem? and is it fixable?
Q. my girlfriend comes home from work and changes her panties which are soaking wet in crotch area and leaves them on the floor. i've accidently walked on them and they were very wet. she seems to come home with her panties soaked a couple times a week...
A. 18 February 2011: I think some women just discharge more than others, which in one's thirties would probably actually be a good thing,yay no lube-does it make sex bad? ... (read in full...)
Is being a 24 virgin male that bad?
Q. I am a 24 yr old virgin male i try to live by the bible standards am nt perfect thats why i say try, some girls find it strange that a handsome guy at my age is still a virgin. Am waiting for marriage my girlfriend is a virgin and we both want to ...
A. 18 February 2011: Ideally you'll have both the physical and spiritual connection..focusing on one of the two for now is not a bad thing.... (read in full...)
Is being a 24 virgin male that bad?
Q. I am a 24 yr old virgin male i try to live by the bible standards am nt perfect thats why i say try, some girls find it strange that a handsome guy at my age is still a virgin. Am waiting for marriage my girlfriend is a virgin and we both want to ...
A. 17 February 2011: Just stick to your principles; you're not going to feel better when you're lumped into the crowd. After I lost my virginity I was disappointed it was hyped up to be such a big deal. I didn't feel anything either way. It's better to have your first ... (read in full...)
Will I ever conceive?
Q. Am 19yrs old i was married immediately i completed high school,my marriage is now one and a half yrs old,since i have been trying to conceive but it doesnt work i recently went to a doc he examind me nd said that i am okay, my husband is very ...
A. 17 February 2011: maybe he should get checked..could be shooting blanks, as they say. it's a two way street,conception..... (read in full...)
Is my sexual fantasy sick?
Q. I have never felt sexually fulfilled in a relationship and I am ashamed that I cannot be normal. I have a shameful fantasy that I have never told a soul about because it seems too taboo to talk about. I have fantasies about tying my gf's wrist, g...
A. 15 February 2011: that's pretty tame, considering what else you could be doing. just make sure you all have a safety word in case she can't breathe or wants to stop... (read in full...)
Very much in love with my best friend...
Q. I am very much in love with my best friend. I first started noticing back in October that I really did have feelings for him. To the outside observer it would appear that we were dating, but we weren't. We would go out to eat, to the movies, hang ...
A. 10 February 2011: I think by it being wrong he means he doesn't want to jeopardize what you two have as "friends" and probably also the fact that you were moving to college, what a time to start a relationship!--but whether you act on it or not, you both know you're ... (read in full...)
Emotional numbing advice plz?
Q. i haven't been able to feel much lately since a recent incident with an ex. Idk how to over come it..i just don't feel anything anymore......
A. 8 February 2011: First of all I'm sorry you have had a difficult time recently. I would try going to a counselor or therapist. they can help address your trauma and figure out ways of coping with the incident.... (read in full...)
How can I survive working with my ex for a year?
Q. I wrote earlier in the week about finding out that my boyfriend of one year, had been married for 3 years. I was devastated, accused him, he denied it, called me crazy, I gave him proof, he back paddled, we cried, I asked him to leave. He did. ...
A. 6 February 2011: I think he sounds like your typical douche. I'm pretty sure you'll look like the bad guy if you start talking to people about your psychiatric diagnosis for him. It also sounds like he's not threatening you or a danger to others, even if people with ... (read in full...)
Was this a lucky escape from a pervert? Or was it because of me and my actions?
Q. Did he ban me from his gym because he is a pervert and he realised i wasn't soft and he might be rumbled? I thought this spanish gym owner where i go in my town was a nice guy. He is 46 and i am 16. He helped me and was really friendly but i always...
A. 3 February 2011: sounds like a lot of drama just to get some exercise. find a new gym and stay away from people you get bad vibes from ... (read in full...)
I want to have a better relationship with my parents
Q. Hello, last August me and my mum had a really big argument and I moved in with my dad. I won't go into all the details of the argument but I will briefly describe it. I didn't have a job and got her a cheap box of chocolates for her anniversary. I ...
A. 30 January 2011: I think you should try to see a counselor. This is too much for someone to handle on their own, it's understandable that your coping mechanism is to keep busy all the time and you get anxiety from not having anything to do to keep you from thinking ... (read in full...)
I'm not feeling validated in this relationship and she can't fully commit!
Q. Alright, this is going to be slightly long, but bear with me for a moment. I started dating this girl when I was 19. I've always had a lot of trust issues, so opening up to people wasn't something I was good at. For about 6 months things were goin...
A. 30 January 2011: Do you think it's possible she'd see a counselor with you?I know you two are young, but having an 'objective' professional listen--and translate the words for your girlfriend--may be just what you need to get on track again. I know you say it's not ... (read in full...)
Should I leave this abusive relationship now?
Q. I really hope you can help. I am in an abusive relationship. I do love the guy but he seems to be be intent on saying that his physical violence towards me is justified - i.e. apparently I 'press his anger buttons' when I get annoyed with things. ...
A. 28 January 2011: I'd like to add that he needs some counseling, because as you say, learned behavior is not an excuse, it's just a crutch for getting away with terrible actions and not dealing with baggage. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave this abusive relationship now?
Q. I really hope you can help. I am in an abusive relationship. I do love the guy but he seems to be be intent on saying that his physical violence towards me is justified - i.e. apparently I 'press his anger buttons' when I get annoyed with things. ...
A. 28 January 2011: YES. It is possible that you've been having an understandably hard time dealing with your mother's illness but getting beat in the head is NOT the answer to making you feel better. You know this is not right. You know that you don't need shutting ... (read in full...)
But I love him
Q. Dear Cupid, I was dating my boyfriend for 11 months and we got into an argument and he said he needed space, but would date me again in two months. A month has passed and this space has been agonizing me. He said he still loves me and wants to be ...
A. 27 January 2011: the one has to want to be the one. this guy doesn't. you can't have love if it's unreciprocal, and right now you've fallen hard and he is unmoved. you need to find someone who appreciates you, not belittles you and treats you as though you're not ... (read in full...)
Is he just flattered or is my marriage really in trouble?
Q. Ive been with my husband for around 5 yrs now and I can tell he's unhappy. Seems depressed alot and then all of a sudden about a week ago he started talking to a girl on a web-site and now he jumps up out of bed and cant wait to email her....this ...
A. 25 January 2011: If he can't see how this hurts you, emotionally, and your relationship then he is NOT worth having around. if you have no other obligations (ie. children) I would honestly threaten to leave, it is more than inappropriate for a married man to act ... (read in full...)
How do I talk to her about her 'downstairs' hygiene without offending her?
Q. I need some help. Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for seven months now and its going brilliantly. We see each other regularly, go out often and our sex life is very good. But there's an issue. I have noticed on occasion that he...
A. 24 January 2011: you dont have to say it's a turn off or that it kills the mood to get your pt across. I would echo the last aunt and consider the 'it's easier to go down on you when you've made it easy for me' strategy. For example, my bf gets 'slowed down' by ... (read in full...)
I think my in laws are stalking me online
Q. I think my inlaws are stalking me online. A few years ago I posted a story about how awful a certain in-law had behaved towards me and how upset I was and asked what I could do about it got a few replies but the in-law it was regarding found out and ...
A. 23 January 2011: So this is sort of the third time now that you've started talking behind your in-laws back. I think that maybe there are just better forums to bash your in-laws in than the world wide web. Talk to your wife. Write it in a journal. Write a letter to ... (read in full...)
Separated parents--all my dad's responsibilities have become my responsibilities?
Q. My mom and my dad have been separated for about 2years now. So basically, all of my dad's responsibilities are now my responsibilities since he does not live with us anymore (us= my mom, little brother, and myself). Ever since he left, my mom became ...
A. 22 January 2011: Wait, she's the grown woman here, and you've probably only had your license for a couple years- why do you have to chauffer everyone around? She should also generally be the food provider. I think you need to have a serious conversation with her. If ... (read in full...)
How can I make this easier?
Q. i am 18 so please dont say i should have waited. Me and my boyfriend, he is 18 as well, are expecting. well he is now my ex boyfriend. we broke up last night because he had said earlier that he wasn't happy. so i broke up with him. the thing is...
A. 22 January 2011: I'd add that you need to try to maintain support systems, whether through friends, teachers, or family, so that you manage the stress and scares of pregnancy.... (read in full...)
How can I make this easier?
Q. i am 18 so please dont say i should have waited. Me and my boyfriend, he is 18 as well, are expecting. well he is now my ex boyfriend. we broke up last night because he had said earlier that he wasn't happy. so i broke up with him. the thing is...
A. 22 January 2011: I agree with the other aunt, and my conservative side says you two should try to make it work for the child until you see that you're simply too incompatible/unhappy. good luck.... (read in full...)
Brown discharge between periods... Worried!!
Q. I'm 19, and sexually active. I'm not on any birth control, and my periods are generally regular. It's been 2 weeks since the end of my last period, and my next isn't due for another 2 weeks. I would usually get some White discharge between periods, ...
A. 21 January 2011: It's probably just random spotting, but you should double check with a gynecologist. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel his erection through his pants, does this mean he is really small?
Q. I have recently met this guy online whom I like quite a lot. I wouldn't say I am in love with him since we have only been on four dates but we have reasonable chemistry and get along otherwise. We have made out twice already, pants on but I don't ...
A. 21 January 2011: I think you should just cross that bridge when you come to it. It's worse to just leave because you're not sure of what he's working with, rather than knowing that what he has is not working for you. they say that size doesn't matter over what a ... (read in full...)
I'm like a ticking time bomb ready to explode!
Q. I'm having a problem with getting VERY annoyed over dumb little problems and causing a fight, its as though I can't let things "slide" and like I am a ticking time bomb waiting to explode and its really taking a toll on my relationship, what's ...
A. 21 January 2011: I would also consider your birth control as the issue, i had severe anger/depression when on a certain birth control pill..it's super easy to change to a different brand if that's an issue.... (read in full...)
I can't get a new guy because I'm too fat. I lost my ex over it. Best dieting tips please?
Q. I want to diet but if I don't satisfy my hunger, I get migranes! Also, if I'm nervous or bored my stomach growls so loud, it's embarrasing!. I want to diet because my ex refuses to say I'm hot, or sexy because I'm so fat. And I can't get an...
A. 20 January 2011: slash, your ex was either a jerk who actually did find you attractive but wouldn't admit it (why else would he have had a relationship with you?) or that used you for sex; either way I wouldn't hold his opinion up too highly. ... (read in full...)
I can't get a new guy because I'm too fat. I lost my ex over it. Best dieting tips please?
Q. I want to diet but if I don't satisfy my hunger, I get migranes! Also, if I'm nervous or bored my stomach growls so loud, it's embarrasing!. I want to diet because my ex refuses to say I'm hot, or sexy because I'm so fat. And I can't get an...
A. 20 January 2011: I don't really want to advocate weightloss schemes not just because they often don't work but i don't really know if you need it. I think the best thing you could do would be to go see a nutritionist because it's their job to make sure you balance ... (read in full...)
Do people in relationships tell each other everything?
Q. When two people are in a relationship, do they have to tell everything to each other? example: - schedules? - appointments? - emails? My boyfiend went to a bodybuilding show in the fall, and I am not aware of that. I found a picture of h...
A. 18 January 2011: No, I think, after hearing this other information, he has given you reason to have lost a little trust in him; you would think after the first time, with this tutored girl, he'd be into full disclosure/ transparency (ie learn from mistakes). I also ... (read in full...)
Do people in relationships tell each other everything?
Q. When two people are in a relationship, do they have to tell everything to each other? example: - schedules? - appointments? - emails? My boyfiend went to a bodybuilding show in the fall, and I am not aware of that. I found a picture of h...
A. 17 January 2011: also make it sound like you want to be a bigger part of his life, and do things together, that will be better than something confrontational... (read in full...)
Do people in relationships tell each other everything?
Q. When two people are in a relationship, do they have to tell everything to each other? example: - schedules? - appointments? - emails? My boyfiend went to a bodybuilding show in the fall, and I am not aware of that. I found a picture of h...
A. 16 January 2011: I don't think it necessarily has to be as big of a deal as abella says: it IS a concern, I agree, but it might be the equivalent of someone going to a baseball game and getting their photo taken with a player. It's very possible he didn't think it ... (read in full...)
I love him, but I get turned on by porn and not by him!!
Q. I'm looking for help with my sex life in regards to a particular problem I've been having over the past few weeks. Me and my boyfriend have been in an amazing relationship for almost 2 years, and sexually active for just under a year and a half of ...
A. 31 December 2010: I don't think it has to do with your porn watching habits, it's not like you have a limited amount of natural lubrication and it's all being consumed by your habit. Have you and your bf's methods changed, maybe you don't engage in foreplay as much? ... (read in full...)
I'm a lesbian left with a broken heart... and I just came out to my parents I NEED HELP PLEASE!
Q. two years ago i met this amazing girl, online, she liked me, and she showed me that she's interrested in having a relationship with me. i was interrested too... she was so cute and an amazing person.. or at least that's what she showed me so i a...
A. 30 December 2010: It sounds like she used you, but even if she didn't girl is too unstable right now for you to get involved with any further. It's possible that her parents will get her back and she'll ask for more money. don't be so easily convinced. what's in it ... (read in full...)
Is this really an orgasm?
Q. Ok im a 18 year old female I lost my virginity at 17 going 18 bit before then I would finger myself and had my boyfriend do it also and its like my whole body gets a really great feeling like I get all warm inside my stomach clit and pussy muscles ...
A. 28 December 2010: I'm more on the close but no cigar side of things, not because you didn't know (I was having orgasms by myself before I knew they were orgasms), but I think it's pretty universal that the vagina clenches, and releases tension in a rhythmic, opening ... (read in full...)
Why does he still want to see me after I treated him so poorly?
Q. I met this guy online about 6 months ago. He lives out of town but is in town every few months. The first time we met we hit it off and as we had been speaking for about 2 months there was definately some sexual chemistry. We slept together and had ...
A. 19 December 2010: I don't think you've done anything all that bad. It's normal to not want to dive into something for fear of getting hurt, and it's normal to sort of waiver when you feel things getting too serious too fast. It sounds to me like he respects your ... (read in full...)
We cuddled and kissed after sex. Now he's calling me clingy!
Q. I desperattley need help !!!! Basicly Iv really liked this boy and we only just decided to get together properly a few days ago.... He stayed over the night and I had amazing sex ... I wasnt nurvous I was happy I acully smiled when I woke up t...
A. 14 December 2010: pretty sure there's nothing you can do. how can you love someone who is disgusted by your affection? you should love someone who loves you back. he is not The One, he is a player who used you for sex. How many dates had you gone on with him before ... (read in full...)
I sent him pictures of me in my underwear and now he is not talking to me! Should I wait for him or move on?
Q. Okay, So i am in 8th grade. About 3 months ago i was talking to a freshman (9th grade) that i really liked. He had dated some of the hottest girls in school so i felt like i was dreaming, no i couldnt really be talking to him. He was sweet and ...
A. 14 December 2010: he just used your pictures to jerk off to, which is why he manipulated you into thinkin there was more to you two, but then happened to slip in something about sending pictures all the time. don't associate with this guy, if you're willing to strip ... (read in full...)
She's cool and doesn't deserve my games
Q. Been fwb with this girl from work 4 3 months. She's new I flirted, she crushes on me and I'm flattered but tell her I get kinda lazy in relationships, so she agreed to fwb. Well damn she got to me with her amazing blowjob skillz, and to top it ...
A. 14 December 2010: tell her you don't want to use her anymore for oral sex and because you value her as a friend, you want to be on THOSE terms rather than ones based on your satisfaction. if you want to remain friends, I don't know what the benefit is of telling her ... (read in full...)
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