| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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Newest answer was posted
30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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My sister babysits a boy who knows things that freak me out.
Q. Hello readers, so this is just a bizarre story that I'd just like some other opinions on. It has nothing to do with love etc. I'm just creeped out. Anyways, my older sister happened to be babysitting this 8 year old boy (which she's been doing for ...
A. 27 March 2011: a couple of theories:
your sister is making a practical joke on you because you're gullible
it was just a coincidence/accident, which can happen with common names, forgetting babysitters names is easy to do..
maybe she had been talking abou... (read in full...)
Its just strictly "friends" but I'm not sure she sees it that way
Q. I'm having a problem with a woman I work with. We've recently began working together so are spending time together and getting to know eachother. Turns out she's gay. As am I. We also have a lot of shared interests. I think she's an awesome girl ...
A. 22 March 2011: A couple things you can do:
-what I don't recommend, although it's easiest: just passively turning down offers to get drinks, trying to figure out ways where multiple people join you for social events with this girl so it's not just you, and her ... (read in full...)
We haven't talked all march break!
Q. So all march break me and my boyfriend haven't talked... I think he might break up with me.... what should i do?...
A. 21 March 2011: I still say, he's been busy, you've been out of town, don't worry just yet. See how it is when you get back. Not hearing from someone for a week is okay, especially at your age. Just let each other enjoy your breaks, and see if he's less interested ... (read in full...)
We haven't talked all march break!
Q. So all march break me and my boyfriend haven't talked... I think he might break up with me.... what should i do?...
A. 21 March 2011: alright slow down: how long is march break? if it's been more than a week, I'd try to contact him. is he away? if he isn't traveling, why don't you go over to his house and see what he's up to; if he is away, have you tried calling him?
he migh... (read in full...)
I have a nonconfrontational personality, but it makes it hard to handle conflict
Q. I'm a non-confrontational person by nature. Growing up my parents fought a lot with my older brother so I would do everything in my power to avoid fights. But I find now that I'm more grown up, it makes it hard to talk about conflict. This brin...
A. 20 March 2011: I was going to suggest to give him an ultimatum of engagement (and moving to UK) or breakup but you're not ready for this it seems: you're concerned that the uncommon interests will be a problem which you won't find out until you live with him, but ... (read in full...)
Looking for some reassurance in the midst of teen angst
Q. OK, i know that i will get through this, because its only teen angst but i need some reassurance that i will stop feeling so goddamn sad! i just need to know that life will get better and i will become the person i would like, and that adulthood ...
A. 20 March 2011: At this stage of your life, things can be confusing because you don't know what direction you're supposed to take your life. The teenage years are particularly hard and even depressing. your body goes through trauma of changing dramatically, and ... (read in full...)
My obsession with this guy is consuming my life!!
Q. I would like honest answers to my problem. I am worried about myself. I am currently obsessed with a guy Ive only met twice. He lives far away so we are not together. I cant get over him. He fills my thoughts permanently to the point where my work ...
A. 20 March 2011: yea I'd see a counselor; obsessive thoughts are not healthy, particularly oncee it starts interfering with other spheres of our lives. humans need balance. Don't blame yourelf or think of yourself as crazy, sometimes irrational, obsessive parts of ... (read in full...)
I think she's hiding something and she says "Forget about it"
Q. I have been dating a girl for over a year now. I think she is cheating on me with someone else. They do have "some" history. I tryed talking ro uer and all she says is forget about it or just says nothings going on. I still think shes hiding ...
A. 19 March 2011: is the only evidence you have of something going on that there was history between her and another man? if so, that is not enough to reasonably think there's cheating going on. ... (read in full...)
My sister thinks I should date her boyfriend.
Q. Dear Cupid, So my sister is kinda of dating this guy, who I happen to really like, she is leaving May 25 to travel to the phillipines and told me I should date him when she leaves. She also told me that she has no attractions to him whatsoev...
A. 19 March 2011: I don't really see what's so wrong with it. Both your sister and her boyfriend admit, privately to you, that they are not meant to be together. There's some attraction that your whole family can see and that this boyfriend recognizes. You don't have ... (read in full...)
I cant cope with my fiance being bisexual!
Q. My Girlfriend and i have been together some time now and we are engaged, we're quite young but i know i feel strong enough to make this commitment as does she, however she has cheated on me twice before but promises me that it was stupid mistakes ...
A. 16 March 2011: I would put marriage plans on hold until you have this issue worked out. but 'worked out' will always mean, she has a curiousity or attraction to women that will not go away, even if the cheating or flirting does. Can you accept this? ... (read in full...)
Will I ever conceive?
Q. Am 19yrs old i was married immediately i completed high school,my marriage is now one and a half yrs old,since i have been trying to conceive but it doesnt work i recently went to a doc he examind me nd said that i am okay, my husband is very ...
A. 16 March 2011: also, semen is supposed to run out of you, that doesn't mean that microscopically, sperm aren't swimming up the canal and to where your eggs are. ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me, but I feel taken for granted.
Q. First off I'm In high school. Been in a relationship for well over a year my girlfriend tells me she tells me (only on the phone) how she wants to marry and have my kids! Well I want to marry her too but idk there's a "but". Let's just say I'm the ...
A. 13 March 2011: if you're not getting what you put into it, and she's been aware of this imbalance and is not working on altering it, I think it's time you move on and find someone you don't have to prod into expressing feelings, there are certainly plenty of us ... (read in full...)
This 'friend' puts me down
Q. my friend is a bit strange, she dosen't really seem to grasp the concept that other people have feelings, there-fore she is constantly putting me and my other friend down. she dosen't like me having other friends and she wants me to be with her all ...
A. 12 March 2011: I know you're getting to be a little old for this, but maybe you can have your mom talk to her mom so then you won't get 'yelled at' for not being friends with her, which is ridiculous to begin with.
this girl is definitely insecure, which is why ... (read in full...)
Best condom for my bf to use so I don't get pregnant?
Q. My bf and are both 18 and want sex what the best condom he can use to prevent pregnancy im not on the pill and don't want to be ...
A. 12 March 2011: IF used properly, they're all the same percentage of effectiveness (except maybe lambskin? I was taught never to do lambskin), so brand doesn't matter. size matters a litle, if he's slightly above average he still should probably use normal size but ... (read in full...)
Justified in my divorce request?
Q. I have been with my husband for a little over 4 years, married almost 3 years now. When we are alone together, everything is great. We enjoy each other's company and can chat for hours. However, I know he fits only into one aspect of my life -- he ...
A. 12 March 2011: If the major thing that's wrong is his interacting with your bosses and co-workers, why don't you just keep him out of your worklife? Everyone has areas of weakness, and it just so happens that you seem to push him into places where you KNOW he's ... (read in full...)
She lied to me and I was completely honest with her!
Q. Hello everyone, I just need some help and advice. I am m27 engaged to someone I truly love and adore f21. Both of us know each other for last 8 months. I cleared and said everything about my past and she did the same as well. Now 3 days back, i...
A. 9 March 2011: If I were you, I would slow down off the marriage track. How much do you really know about this woman after 8 months, especially considering recent events? I would think you would still be in the honeymoon phase. Have you ever lived with her? Do you ... (read in full...)
Bleeding but scared to see a gynae doctor
Q. I have this weird problem that Im a virgin 32 year old and still not been able to give in to my guy, even though I fantasize so much and so wanna have sex but even the mere thought makes me so wet that now I even bleed while Im with him and ...
A. 8 March 2011: do you have any sexual contact? if he fingers you or if you two are rubbing on each other, then the blood makes more sense, might just be you're being too vigorous; otherwise, go to the gyn; no one likes to go to the doctor, especially when it ... (read in full...)
I get paranoid there's a camera in my bedroom!
Q. This isn't really about love or relationship, it's about health I suppose, I'm not sure what's wrong with me! Here's the problem, every time I go into my bed room, I have to check in every corner that there's not a camera watching me?? I get real...
A. 8 March 2011: I agree that it sounds like obsessive compulsive disorder. I would talk to your parents about it, describe your fears and rituals, but if they blow you off, don't blow yourself off: go to a school counselor, who should be able to get you on the ... (read in full...)
I got pregnant from a one night stand. Can I pass this baby off as my boyfriend's?
Q. I've been in a serious relationship for the past 2 and a half years with my Algerian boyfriend except for the last 8 months I’ve been living with my mother in a different country . Of course things haven’t been going too well for us since we’ve ...
A. 7 March 2011: "can" and "should" are completely different things. I would think that at some point, when you see his pride in this child that's not his, or when he sees the baby looks nothing like him, you're going to want to come clean out of guilt. I don't ... (read in full...)
Would you ever want your ex to apologize to you after a breakup?
Q. would you ever want your ex to apologize to you after a breakup? me and my ex broke up about 2 months ago. and we haven't talked in about a 1 month now. so we had a really bad break up and she's not responding to anything im saying. so i deci...
A. 7 March 2011: depends on where she is in the grieving process; closure like this might be helpful.... (read in full...)
One day of my new boyfriend and we are getting in lots of fights!
Q. I got a boyfriend yesterday but now that we are dateing we get into a lot of fight and he makes this relationship akward . and we are greatfriends but i am not worried that it will ruin our friendship cuase it wont cuase this has happend to su ...
A. 7 March 2011: does 'this has happened to us before' mean you tried to date before and broke up? i mean, it could have been an off day, i don't understand how if 2 people have been getting along it could completely reverse like that overnight, but if it's like ... (read in full...)
Hes got bad qualities, should I just move on?
Q. There's this guy i really like, we're friends, not really close though. He's nice to me and that's why i started liking him in the first place. I don't think he likes me back but i'm not very sure. Are these qualities really bad, and should i stop ...
A. 6 March 2011: yea the whole bashing friends is a no no in my book! good luck!... (read in full...)
Hes got bad qualities, should I just move on?
Q. There's this guy i really like, we're friends, not really close though. He's nice to me and that's why i started liking him in the first place. I don't think he likes me back but i'm not very sure. Are these qualities really bad, and should i stop ...
A. 6 March 2011: yea I wouldn't get wrapped up with this guy, he must be some kind of charmer but i don't see it! He sounds super shallow and takes advantage of all these girls flocking to him! My first bf, he dissed on other people, but I thought it was funny ... (read in full...)
How can I get the most out of life when I don't feel comfortable?
Q. The only time when I feel comfortable and I can truly be myself (whoever that is) is when I am with my family or 2 of my friends whom I have known for years. Other than that, I find it so hard to interact with people. I always get the impression ...
A. 6 March 2011: Your experience sounds like my highschool experience; college it was sort of different, people were awkward but they also sort of embraced each other's awkwardness. if you're in your first year, I think you're still in that period where you can sit ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, and he is contemplating revenge cheating. How can we get past this?
Q. My boyfriend is trying to get pass the fact that I cheated on him and lied about it. The situation is that I kissed a coworker about 6 times and we ended up touching on each other. I lied about how the kiss happened and how many times we kissed. ...
A. 6 March 2011: That's sweet of him. People are never 100% "bad" if there's such a thing as bad anyway; that fact makes it difficult for us to have clear judgment when something is not working, and history with a person makes us want to weather the storm. I'm sure ... (read in full...)
He says I have to accept him so why cant he accept me?
Q. Hi dearcupid.I need you to advice me.I'm so confuse now. I don't know what to do. Me and my fince been together for 3 and half years on and off.We're agure for 5 or 6 times aweek.That's a lot!He make the problem for every little things.If he kiss me ...
A. 6 March 2011: If you are thinking about leaving him already, how do you think it's going to be if you commit your entire life to him through marriage? This guy doesn't respect you, he basically just wants a maid. You seriously are better off alone.... (read in full...)
Why do I feel funny about kissing my boyfriend?
Q. hi there. i love my boyfriend alot. i trust him and we have known each other for a long time. the thing is i'm just not wanting to kiss him. i'm fine with him hugging me really tightly and feeling me up but not kissing. it just feels so wrong. i ...
A. 5 March 2011: How long have you been going out? Is it the idea of kissing him in particular or any guy that grosses you out? Do you feel like it would be like kissing your brother, like, does it turn you off? I'd say you're either not ready to go that next level, ... (read in full...)
My friends are acting VERY weird after my break-up. From trying to set me up with a terminally ill patient to inviting me for a threesome!!
Q. Ok--this is kind of weird. Bear with me, please. I just split up with my partner of 6 years. I'm pretty upset over it. Most of my friends have been very supportive, but 2 of them (a couple) have started acting just plain weird. 1--they trie...
A. 5 March 2011: I mean they're completely creepy and weird, it sounds like they've been waiting for this break up to come around for a while so they could act on it! If she's supermad at you then completely take advantage of that and cut them out of your lives for ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my boyfriend, and he is contemplating revenge cheating. How can we get past this?
Q. My boyfriend is trying to get pass the fact that I cheated on him and lied about it. The situation is that I kissed a coworker about 6 times and we ended up touching on each other. I lied about how the kiss happened and how many times we kissed. ...
A. 4 March 2011: I would say it's unfixable. First of all, you two have drastically, fundamentally different values or goals on the table for yourselves. It's not a dealbreaker that he isn't in it for the long haul and that he doesn't want to be a father ever? Are ... (read in full...)
I want to move with my best friend, her family, and my brother, but she doesn't want me to go! What should I do?
Q. My best friend and I were very close until she started to date my brother. I lived in England with my friend and her family, and then we all moved back to Ireland. Her mam wants to move back to England. The only problem is that my brother is going ...
A. 4 March 2011: Why would you want to go where you're not wanted? Do you have parents or family you can stay with once your brother leaves?... (read in full...)
Do I listen to my sister and leave, or was the break a mistake?
Q. O.k.... I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2, nearly 3 years now and although things have not been perfect, overall we've been quite happy and I've had some of the best times with him, but my sister has told me throughout our relationship she ...
A. 1 March 2011: can you visit him in person, tell him how your sister was messing with your head and you regret your decision to be influenced by her?... (read in full...)
Do I listen to my sister and leave, or was the break a mistake?
Q. O.k.... I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2, nearly 3 years now and although things have not been perfect, overall we've been quite happy and I've had some of the best times with him, but my sister has told me throughout our relationship she ...
A. 1 March 2011: she can't live your life, YOU need to live your life. If the relationship ultimately is not good for you, you will figure that out on your own time. Tell her that you respect her opinion, you KNOW where she stands on your relationship, and now you ... (read in full...)
My husband works alone at night, and someone caught him masturbating. Please help me understand why he did this!
Q. Well,the last time I told all about my husband playing with himself at work and losing his job. He worked at night by himself, but someone caught him and he has done this before. Just never got caught. I asked him time after time and he is ...
A. 28 February 2011: I'm sure it's some kind of compulsion. Maybe he IS doing it in the van and at home too, or maybe it's the thrill factor, semi-exhibitionist stuff. I understand you're freaking out, but if he IS trying to get the professional help like you've been ... (read in full...)
Three months pregnant and he gets on my nerves all the time
Q. I am three months pregnant and ever since I have lost complete interest in the father/boyfriend. He gets on my nerves ALL the time and is always loveydovey and sensitive and it pisses me off. i feel like our relationship will fall apart through this ...
A. 28 February 2011: if you're close with your family and some friends, i'd consider asking them what they think you should do. maybe at this point they're better judges of character than you are (I've never been pregnant though so I'm not speaking from personal ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant doing this?
Q. okay so i want to remain a vargin until marrige but my boyfriend doesnt so we do mess around. He has rubbed his penis around my anus area and almost by my vaginal area i just want to make sure that there is no way i can get pregnant unless the penus ...
A. 27 February 2011: It's probably close to impossible, but take a step back for a minute: you're starting to wonder if this amounts to sexual contact. first, if it involves a sex organ (and it does) it is sexual. You may not put the same label on it but you're still ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is going to prom with someone else!
Q. Hey guys, I am sort of in a dilemma. I am in highschool and I have a girlfriend of about 6 months. We both really like each other, talk everyday, and just generally feel really relaxed and comfortable around each other. But now, as the time for prom ...
A. 27 February 2011: your girlfriend is practically an adult at this point and doesn't need anyone setting playdates up for her! this is weird. initially I was going to say the mother must really not like you to set her daughter up with another boy, but then it turns ... (read in full...)
I am tired of being treated like a slut.
Q. I am a 20 year old pre op transexual. I consider myself to be a women and live 24/7 as one. I am 17 months into hormone replacement therapy and hopefully if I can save up enough money I intend to get SRS, sex reassignment surgery. Whenever I meet a ...
A. 27 February 2011: Just as you set the record straight in terms of your sexual/gender identity, set the record straight about considering yourself a classy lady and will not X on the first date (if you say kiss, instead of blow job then they won't suspect that was ... (read in full...)
Three months pregnant and he gets on my nerves all the time
Q. I am three months pregnant and ever since I have lost complete interest in the father/boyfriend. He gets on my nerves ALL the time and is always loveydovey and sensitive and it pisses me off. i feel like our relationship will fall apart through this ...
A. 27 February 2011: just tell him you need a little space, not a break up, but just he's coming on too strong. ... (read in full...)
Can I stay with my bf who, at 45, is terrible at money management and always in a financial crisis?
Q. My bf always seems to have a financial crisis. I met my bf for over a year now. Few months after we were dating exclusive, I noticed that he was always anxious about money. Though, he doesn’t make lots of money but he works full time and make ar...
A. 23 February 2011: I mean, you could warn him that you will leave if he doesn't try to get his act together. maybe his debts are due to a substance or gambling issue, does he seem to be hiding anything from you?... (read in full...)
Can I stay with my bf who, at 45, is terrible at money management and always in a financial crisis?
Q. My bf always seems to have a financial crisis. I met my bf for over a year now. Few months after we were dating exclusive, I noticed that he was always anxious about money. Though, he doesn’t make lots of money but he works full time and make ar...
A. 23 February 2011: I think you two are too different to work out; you can only 'help' someone who wants help; the alternative is you have to get comfortable looking the other way (ie. enabling a debtor), which it seems like crossing your boundaries. ... (read in full...)
The way she treated me while working out her issues has really taken a toll on the relationship
Q. Alright, so yeah I'm 15, if you're not going to take this seriously because of my age I'd suggest you just flat out don't read this. So I've been dating my girlfriend for coming up on 15 months now, awesome, but not really. I met the girl and we ...
A. 21 February 2011: First,i think you two need to be more realistic, in terms of, theres no New gf and Old gf, it's the same girl. Both of you need to accept where she's been and what she's done and if you two did break up and she goes back to her old ways, that's her ... (read in full...)
Will I ever conceive?
Q. Am 19yrs old i was married immediately i completed high school,my marriage is now one and a half yrs old,since i have been trying to conceive but it doesnt work i recently went to a doc he examind me nd said that i am okay, my husband is very ...
A. 17 February 2011: maybe he should get checked..could be shooting blanks, as they say. it's a two way street,conception..... (read in full...)
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