A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there i'm in a bit of a dilema..i think. I'm a 19 year old female who started seeing a 24 year old male in April. We met at a nightclub i was outside in the smoking area with a friend when he walked past also with a friend. He stared at me as he walked past then came back his first words were i'm sorry but i had to come over, he said your beautiful as he stared. we chatted for a bit he then got my number and me and my friend left. He rang me a few days later i missed his calls because i was working he rang several times until i answered he was very persistant. We chatted for a bit on the phone and then arranged to meet up the following weekend.He lives in london quite far from me. He travelled down to meet me. A few days before the first innitial meeting he told me his flat had burned down where he had left the radiator on next to the sofa. he had to jump out of the window and had broken his ankle despite this he travelled all the way down to see me by train (about a 2 1/2 hour journey) we went to a bar he was incredibley nervous around me he spilt his drink where he was so nervous his eye also kept twitching he was making the atmosphere awkward! I told him i was tired because i had been working that day he immediately took that as a hint that i wanted to leave he said to me 'is that a hint, do you want to go?' i said no and then there was an awkward silence for a while. He got annoyed so i said ok let me walk you to your hotel we had an argument on the way there he accused me of going of to meet some other guy although there was no indication of this whatsoever, he said he wanted me to leave and that he could find his own way to the hotel from here i asked him if he was sure and he said yes so i said ok and began to walk away, he shouted at me as i walked that he couldnt beleive after him travelling all this way i was going to leave him i shouted back that i was only doing what he'd asked. i continued to walk him to the hotel the two of us arguing the whole way there. when we eventually got there he begged me to hear him out and just come up to the room for 20 mins to hear him out i agreed reluctantly. we talked and he apologised,we got on great it was now 3:00 in the morning and to late for me to go home. i stayed over, i went to go to sleep he kissed me and it led to sex. we had sex 3 times. it was great. from then on we met up every weekend he came down to my area. he claimed i couldnt go to his because he was living with his friend because of his flat burning down. this went on for months We had sex the majority of the times he came to see me because he usually stayed over. a few times he told he wanted a relationship i brushed it off because i felt it was too soon he said he wouldnt mention it again and i could let him know when i was ready. but the thing is i wasnt going to be ready any time soon because i felt i had to see what his life was like first i had never been to his area because of the flat situation. like i said i started seeing him in april its now november and there is still no sign of any flat. he always says it will be soon. I find this very strange. Its not just the fact that i have not seen his flat its also the fact that he has had a series of serious injuries in the time that i have known him- his flat has burned down and hes had a broken ankle, hes had cracked ribs whereby he claims he fell down the stairs at a nightclub and just recently he has a broken jaw apparenltly due to fall from a ladder at work (hes an electrician) hes in hospital now and i wont be able to see him until its fully healed which will be by xmas. i can never get through to his phone it always goes to voicemail. he says its a bad signal problem. I'm just wondering if this guys genuine i mean i have not seen what his life is like in london at all i'm just taking his word for everything hes an electrician who earns nearly triple what i earn a month he has no contact with his family due to an arguement that happened when he was 16 which is wierd? i just need to hear other peoples perspective on this please! thank you
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 "I won't be able to see him until his jaw is fully healed"
exactly why is that? if he sees you, his jaw will fall off and it will be SOO embarassing? It all just doesn't make sense. He's putting you off so he can get through the holidays with his family. Why don't you start callin up some hospitals. It's really sweet and nice of you to trust this man, and you probably think that i'm too cynical, but there are a lot of things that don't add up and I think you could save yourself some heartbreak if you actually tried to do some research into your man instead of just hoping that you're right and assuming you aren't going to get crushed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's in hospital at the moment recovering from the broken jaw. So I won't be able to see him until Xmas. I have confronted him about his flat and the fact that I am yet to see it I've told him that i have doubts to which he has replied that he realises that he has a lot to prove and as soon as he's better he will do so. He says he going to book a holiday for me and him around Feb. Tbh I dnt know what to believe I fink ill wait until he's better and then see if this flat really exists!
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 November 2011):
 Sounds extremely weird why he's suffering such serious injuries all of the time. Also how nervous he acted on the first meeting with the twitching eye.
Is there anything that suggests he may be involved with drugs? Sounds like he's been beaten or something as opposed to the reasons that he's given you for his injuries.
And yes, also odd that you've seen nothing of his house, or know anything of his lifestyle. As FishDish said, ask for answers now, get the information that you need to know from his asap, he seems very secretive and hard to read.
...............................
A
female
reader, goldie22 +, writes (7 November 2011):
In all honesty hun I would be careful, it sounds like he could be living a double life. Chances are he has a wife/g-friend and kids somewhere back home. I would personally ditch him before the relationship becomes confusing and distructive. best of luck hun. x
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (6 November 2011):
I can't explain all of the injuries, but I do think something shady is going on. He probably has a wife/family or live-in girlfriend. Ask to see photos of his old flat. Tell him you want his address because you want to send him a care package and surprise him in London. if he refuses to give you an address, that's SUSPICIOUS. Incessantly call til he picks you up. I would just be straight up with him and say we will not be official unless you show me your living situation and lifestyle --TODAY. you know? I'm pretty sure you're a fling. I don't think he's genuine, no.
...............................
|
