A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal to have strong feelings for many people (like ten) at the same time (guys girls everyone)? My best friend thinks it's kind of slutty but I just seem to like (have romantic feelings towards) lots of people is there something wrong with me?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2014): You're too young to be defining yourself, you say you have romantic feelings for lots of people...is this just like crushes or are you actually actively pursuing relationships with multiple people?
I'd say, don't rush into giving yourself any labels or putting yourself in any situations you might, at any point, become uncomfortable with or regret. You're still young. Don't share all details of your life with all your friends, if they're calling you slutty to your face what on earth could they say behind your back...just be comfortable with who you are and always respect yourself xxx
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (22 October 2014):
 There goes that normal word again.
When a question starts with "is it normal . . ." and ends with "is there something wrong with me?" it usually means that you are making the false assumption that everyone should be average. So your friends are different from you. Not a big surprise. That does not mean something is wrong with you or that you are slutty (promiscuous).
O K You are using two words to describe your feelings "strong" and "romantic". I'm going to go ahead and assume that you do not mean Sexual when you say Romantic. It is somewhat unusual for a person to have strong Romantic feelings for many people. The name of that condition is Polyamory, which literally means loving many. The more common condition is monogamy Which means marriage to one. Most people seek out a single person to form a committed exclusive relationship with. Because that is what they desire they become very suspicious of people who are different than them. They may incorrectly assume that the polyamorous person is really just seeking many sexual partners. They may feel jealous that you are loving a person they are exclusive with. They may desire to be exclusive with you and be jealous of your other affections. A truly polyamorous person is not Slutty as they are in love with a large group of people but not sexually interested in anyone outside of that group.
So, how does this apply to you? You may or may not be polyamorous. You are too young to have enough experience to know how strong your feelings are. It could be that you have not yet felt the desire to be exclusive with one person. In that case all of the friends seem equal and important to you but not as romantic as a future person may be.
Or you really could be polyamorous, which is not wrong, it just is. You may find polyamory difficult and frustrating as many people will reject your affection because they are unable to share your affection. The very rare polyamorous people that I have known are very good people to have as friends. They seem to have unbounded love and acceptance. Even though I am firmly monogamous I like polyandrous people as friends.
I hope that this has started you on a path to understanding. Continue to research this.
FA
...............................
|
