A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello my question is pretty simple...is being a virgin at an older age weird or a turn-off? The reason why I ask is because I read online that a some men are turned-off because of the awkwardness during intercourse due to not having any experience. That makes me nervous because I dont have any sexual experience and I am already 23. Thanks for reading Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2014): not at all, it's much different if you are a woman, if a man is past a certain age and still has his v-card or no relationship experience, it usually is a turn off for women, however not so much the other way around
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2014): defiantly not! I'm only 16 and I'm not a virgin, but I wish I had it back. I think that a guy should feel honored to be with a virgin. If he is turned off, fu** him. He doesn't deserve your virginity.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (4 October 2014):
 a decent guy should feel honored to be with an "virgin of older age 23" your not old by no means. to me it means you was not just giving it out to any body, you have self respect.
"I ask because i have read online some men are turned off the awkwardness during intercourse due to not having any experience ." those guys more than likely have been with a lot of women, and the women they have been with have been around the block a few times also.
Too me the awkwardness would be a plus , that we could learn together, experience together something that has been reserved for a special time together, and not been taken for granted or given away cheaply.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2014): Thank you to all who responded. I really appreciate it, the responses make me feel a lot better. I know it will eventually happen when I am ready but I feel like I will want to be in a committed relationship when it does. I guess only time will tell....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 October 2014):
It shouldn't be a big problem, especially not for the reason you stated.
My concern would be that I may fall in love with you and discover that you want to play the field since you never had a chance, or that you might become attached a little quicker than I felt comfortable with.
But that wouldn't stop me from seeing a virgin. And, to be quite honest, I would love to sleep with a virgin.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (4 October 2014):
Dear OP,
The guys that would be turned off by this "flaw" of yours might not be the ones you want to lose your virginity to, anyway.
Whenever you show that you've got personality, some people will not like it. That doesn't matter, because showing who you are will precisely put off those that you don't like, and attract those that are a better match.
So, don't be ashamed of your virginity but proud that you're a woman who choses carefully who she gives her intimacy to. You can find a man who treats his body in a similar way and who will enjoy discovering all the pleasures together with you. To have fun, no one needs to have tons of experience, it's enough to be curious about each other and willing to learn.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (3 October 2014):
Everyone was a virgin once. Quite simply, any man whose worth your time and deserving of your affections, will take things at a pace you feel comfortable, will realise how special it is that you chose him to give up your virginity to, and will love the person you are. Good sex isn’t really about technique and experience, but about communication, learning and discovering together. You can read all kinds of nonsense on line, and as I always say in my answers, you can’t generalise about what men or women like because, frankly, everyone’s different. Will some men be put off by your lack of experience? Probably. Are they worth worrying about? Not really. As for being a virgin at 23, that’s not so weird. As you get older virgins become increasingly the minority but it’s never a bad thing to be in a minority. Virginity isn’t something to lose just to fit in, and it would be a mistake to believe losing it for the sake of it would make you feel better about yourself. So make the most of being a virgin by realising you have something very special for the right man. In the meantime, enjoy the company of friends, learn to become confident in yourself and put some thought in to the kind of person that would be right for you. He will be among the very many who will not mind a bit that you’re a virgin.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2014): Not at all , it's a good thing . you should never have sex unless you are ready and have feelings for someone I say, but I know how the world works. Your still so young and if your worried about not being experienced everyone goes through that. Just make sure when you do decided to have sex it's with the right person and your just not doing it to loose your virginity.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (3 October 2014):
 Considering that the average age of first marriage for women in your country is 27, 23 year old virgins seem to me to be inevitable. You are 5 years away form a legally committed romantic / sexual relationship. You have plenty of time to get experience. And You Wish is right Retroactive jealousy is more likely to be a problen than inexperience.
FA
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 October 2014):
 You are not that old, and the only people who would be turned off by your virginity or lack of sexual experience are guys who would be after you for easy sex without commitment.
Honestly, given the level of retroactive jealousy I've seen on here, your virginity is a plus, not a detraction. Every time is like the first time with a person. Of course, for us women, the first time we have sex can be tough, but there are many things that make that a lot easier, including relaxation.
You would be ahead of the game if you know your own body and what pleases you. Engaging in solo sex (i.e. masturbation) allows you to know your own body's responses, which helps you communicate what feels good to your partner when the time comes. Just because it would be your first time doesn't mean it can't be sensual and good for you. It takes awhile to "learn the dance", so to speak.
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