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I don't know how to reply to this guy's comments

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 September 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been chatting with this guy online. I'm a horrible flirt, so I'm not sure how to reply to his latest message. He was telling me that he likes going to the gym, I said that was cool and he replied by asking me if I wanted him to train me. What do I say to this? Haha? Yes? Any suggestions would be appreciated. And since I'm here, might as well ask, are short one sentence replies the norm in online conversations? I know I tend to write a lot but he keeps his replies to the minimum and doesn't ask a lot of followup questions. And if it helps, we're both looking for something casual/friendship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014):

This is the original poster. Thank guys for your suggestions. I kind of laughed it off because like Getta said there were some sexual implications. Thanks for the comments on the short answers. I understand that a little better, but what I really can't get past is the 'no followup questions'. If you want to get to know someone wouldn't you ask them something? His lack of questions makes me think that he doesn't want to know me at all, friendship or something more.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2014):

Why not say something like ' train me, hmmm how about you get to know me, before we get physical haha , and then maybe I will let you . Haha.' And then add coffee or tea at whatever cafe for a chat

Take care

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (29 August 2014):

Fatherly Advice agony auntChatting on line is a lot like texting. At best half communication, very easy to hide the truth (I'm really a Labrador retriever). Anyway for casual flirting no problem. If you want to get to know someone you have to go beyond that. maybe to phone conversation, or even face to face communication. This is what you have been offered. He is saying hey come to my gym and I'll give you some instruction and as a side benefit we can uncover a layer of truth and get some better communication. It is also a test. Many people are intimidated by the gym. He is asking you in a very verifiable way if you are willing to go to a gym. This is probably important to him. I would say this is a big question and you had better answer it carefully and truthfully.

and he said all that in a short one line reply. Obviously I don't often write short replies online. Part of the reason I prefer message board forums to chat / SMS. There is no norm people use the communication style that fits them best. everything is available.

FA

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