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... Send *arris a private message | | | *arris's profile:I'm 20 year old female, living in the UK, who probably isn't the most experienced sexually or in the world, but have a WIDE range of friends, which has given me the supporting role to all these people.
My friends have always come to me for advice, and I kind of pride myself on my balanced view of most situations. At the end of the day, I just really want to help people. =) |
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He says our relationship is moving too fast, should I back off or what?
Q. Thanks in advance to any who answer here. I have been seeing this guy for a momth or so. He recently told me that he comes with too much baggage as his mother is dying of cancer...he feels stressed and he does not want to lead me on and does not ...
A. 18 March 2007: Be his friend, above everything else.
It may be tempting to try to be his saving grace through all this, but you've only been dating him for a month, so he probably won't feel as close to you as he needs from a relationship right now.
His hea... (read in full...)
I am a girl and I orgasm really quickly, do boys like that?
Q. Am I normal? I'm a virgin and I'm not rushing into sex with my boyfriend any time soon but we have taken it for hand jobs and fingering and when he fingers me he only does it for a little while and I orgasm straight away, is it normal to orgasm i...
A. 18 March 2007: I agree with the comments below, but would like to add this:
How long have you been sexually active? I think that when you first start exploring your body, you're not so used to the sensations, and they can overpower you very quickly, thus you... (read in full...)
He won't answer my calls! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is in Florida on college spring break, and I am home with our daughter. We got in a argument and he would not answer my phone calls, and now his phone is off. What should I do? Wait for him to call me?...
A. 15 March 2007: I'm afraid that's all you can do.
Please don't fret too much, he probably just needs some space after your argument. But you really should make it clear to him that ignoring you does not solve your problems.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
My troubled gf and her attitude has me upset and wondering. Where do I go from here?
Q. OK here goes, please bear with me on this... Last night my girlfriend was showing me her pictures she's had developed. She was putting them in her photo album. Amongst these pics were 3 that we'd taken on holiday, one with her in and two with me ...
A. 15 March 2007: How long have you two been together? It sounds maybe like the honeymoon period is over and bitter realities of the real world have hit you both and sometimes when you've been together for a while it's easy to get a little "too" comfortable around ... (read in full...)
He's cheated with his cousin and gave me an infection! What am I to do now?
Q. i have been dating a guy for now six months at times we quarrel and he starts to compare me with his xgirlfriend and he's had sex with his cousin in the past two weeks back she had an infection and im now having the same infection is it posible that ...
A. 15 March 2007: Go to the doctors or a GUM clinic to get yourself checked out. Everybody knows that any type of STD is something to be taken seriously. My second piece of advice is that you should be wearing protection, IE. a condom. Even within a steady ... (read in full...)
What is it that turns some guys on by coming or ejaculating on a girls face, breast, stomach etc?
Q. What is it that turns some guys on by coming or ejaculating on a girls face, breast, stomach etc? ...
A. 15 March 2007: Probably the fact that most women aren't too keen on it! It could also be to do with the fact that this kind of thing is shown a lot in porn or the like and perhaps by imitating this, it makes them feel more the way they "should be" according to the ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'm too young and I'm worried in case I get pregnant. What will I do?
Q. Right, ok, i'm 13, and I've done everything with a guy but sex, i've recently met this great guy, who i really like, he is a year older than me, and hasn't been that far with a girl. We have both talked about having sex,and we have both have said ...
A. 14 March 2007: At 13 it's ILLEGAL to have sex, so YES YOU ARE TOO YOUNG.
If you're worried that you're too young, then you probably are too young; legal or not. Also if you're worried about getting pregnant then you seriously need to look into contrace... (read in full...)
I have two guy friends that like me, the Prom is next month and I'm confused.
Q. I have this problem. I think two of my friends like me. One I have known for most of my life, but I only think of him as a friend. He likes teasing me, but in a funny way. The other guy I have only known for three years. Last semester he went to a ...
A. 14 March 2007: Be an individual. Go by yourself. ^___~
Seriously though, just go with the person that you like the most.... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant if we never had actual penetrative sex?
Q. ok so i am 16 years old and i have a pretty serious boyfriend. i dont want to sound stupid but can you get pregnant if you dont have sex? we both had pants on, but there was thrusting and i could feel *him* and i kind of had an orgasm, but since i ...
A. 11 March 2007: It is true that you can get pregnant without penetration, but for this to happen either pre-cum or semen has to get into your vagina... This is HIGHLY unlikely through clothing.
I heavily suggest you learn a bit more about sex education before y... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to get an STD test before we stop using condoms?
Q. Is it unreasonable to ask my boyfriend to get an STD test before we stop using condoms? We've been together for three years and hes cheated on me before, we split recently for 2 months, and I think he slept with other women although he wouldn't ...
A. 11 March 2007: Yes, get him to do one. And although you know your own sexual history, you should get one too. That way it will seem less like you're accusing him, and more like you're just being sensible (Which you are). I think even people who have NEVER slept ... (read in full...)
I think I just told my mate's boyfriend something I shouldn't have! Should I have kept my mouth shut?
Q. omg i just told my mates boyfriend ( who's also my mate) that last night she went on msn and watched some 20 year old wank on webcam . do you think i did the rite thing , they might not break up over it , but it is possible ! x x ...
A. 11 March 2007: What possible good did you think will come of this? Not only is it possible that they'll break up, but you're also liable to lose a friend (You snitched on her). I won't get into the many different layers of why this whole fiasco is wrong, but I ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I'm still a virgin at 21?
Q. Here is my problem. I'm a 21 year old virgin. The fact i've remained so is a mystery even to me. Mostly it's because I never let guys get beyond the first few dates, I go out and lose interest. But my biggest problem is that all my friends and even ...
A. 11 March 2007: Don't have sex with him. You should lose your virginity to someone that you know won't care about your past sexual activity.
He'll most likely respect you for waiting so long, until you found someone that you like so much. He'll probably be sligh... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to see what's inside his account?
Q. were just new in our relationship as bf/gf, its for about 5months..i do have a friendster account just recently and come across with my bf account but its restricted for friends user only, i did tell him bout it but didnt insist of anything else for ...
A. 11 March 2007: I agree with cd206... You're his girlfriend now! You should be added to his friend's list!
There are a few reasons why he might not want this. The first is that he might not even use the site anymore. The second is that maybe he *USED* to use the ... (read in full...)
I'm assured she likes me but terrified to ask her out in case I fall flat on my face and ruin everything?
Q. I really like this girl, and I think she really likes me. I am in a few classes with her, and I talk to her whenever I can in those classes. She always laughs and smiles whenever she is around me, and my best friend says she looks at me when I get ...
A. 11 March 2007: The simplest thing do to is just ask her, I'm afraid.
Although, it sounds to me like you only ever really see this girl in school, right? Obviously you want to spend more time with her, but that's difficult if you're too shy to ask her. What I'd... (read in full...)
Did he leave his cell in his truck to make me feel more important or to hide something from me???
Q. my boyfriend ALWAYS has is cellphone with him...a few days ago he cheated on me, i found out by looking thru his phone when he was asleep because i had a severe gut feeling...and confronted him, he admitted it and were trying to work things out ...
A. 11 March 2007: This is always a really tricky situation... You shouldn't have been looking through his phone, but he shouldn't have been cheating on you.
It sounds like a lot of trust has been lost between the two of you, which is no real surprise in this sit... (read in full...)
We broke up a year ago and now we're having sex frequently. Does he love me or is he leading me on?
Q. i broke up with my Boyfriend over a year ago, he was my first serious boyfriend and we were together for just over a year, two weeks after we broke up he started seeing somebody else, they were together up until new year and have recently broke up, ...
A. 10 March 2007: Stop sleeping with him and see if he genuinely feels the same way.
It sounds like he's just using you, but there is the chance that he is genuine, and you need to take sex out of the equation.
You should ask him straight out whether he wants... (read in full...)
I'm eating more to get a more curvier look! Is this like an eating disorder?
Q. hey! im not worried about this but just curious. im 16 and have had a boyfriend for the last month and a half. whenever we hug he always feels my hips and my curvy bits (not my boobs) and stuff. now recently i have heard from a lot of people that m...
A. 10 March 2007: Just be yourself. Be what you are comfortable being, and stay healthy. Never change yourself to try to get guys to like you.
And it's worth noting that, not ALL guys like curvy girls, and hate skinny girls. There are a huge variety of men around t... (read in full...)
I feel I owe it to her to tell her why her Dad abandoned her. SHould I or shouldn't I?
Q. Hi, I'll try to make this as short and painless as possible :) When I was 13, my stepfather (James) kissed me. He later apologized and said he was drunk, so I believed him. A few months later, he tried to have sex with me. That scared me, I tol...
A. 10 March 2007: I think that Crystal should learn what happened to her father, but I don't think that you should be the one to tell her. Maybe you should talk to your mother about this (I'm assuming that she still lives with the two of you), and she how she feels ... (read in full...)
How can I make her orgasm easily?
Q. It seems like my girlfriend cannot orgasm at all. During sex or when i give her oral sex her legs shake she says it is "too much" and "too sensitive" after a while. Because of this, we have to stop. We have had sex and oral sex at least a hundred ...
A. 10 March 2007: I know this EXACT feeling... I'm not sure if all women get it, which is why CD's advice is not the same as mine.
Basically, with all stimulation, there's good, really good and too much. I think the best way for you to understand this is to e... (read in full...)
I'm a male virgin and I need to know...how to stop masturbating to porn!
Q. How can i stop masterbating, im a male virgin, i watch porn all the time because it makes me feel relaxed. but i really want to stop, its controlling my life, i keep gatting hard ons everywhere. how can i stop????? ...
A. 10 March 2007: How can you stop? A lot of self control!
You say that you feel like it's taking over your life, so I guess you do it several times a day? I'd take it step by step... Cutting it down to maybe once a day, then once every other day... You'll begin to... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but not sure if he wants it..what should I do?
Q. hey i am going to ask you a question my boyfriend and i have been going out for a couple of months and i am wanting to have sex with but i dont know if he wants to what should i do ...
A. 10 March 2007: You're under age, blah blah... You know that by now. =p
My best advice would be to just wait. Not because of the age thing, but just to be certain. It's really easy to have phases of wanting to do certain things, or be influenced by others. ... (read in full...)
Why do men vanish??
Q. Why are men really into you one minute and then all of a sudden you don't hear a thing from them, they don't call or reply to your text's twice this has happened to me completely out of the blue!...
A. 7 March 2007: Because some men are pigs, that's why! (Notably not all)
A lot of men find it really difficult to communicate their feelings, and "I'll call you" & then never doing so is often their way to tell you that they're not interested. I think that the... (read in full...)
We got engaged and now I am lucky if we have sex at all!
Q. I got engaged to my fiance 6 weeks ago. We used to have sex fairly regularly, 3 - 4 times a week, but now I'm lucky if I get to have any at all. Lately he's been spending more and more time at the local fast food joints, and every time I try and ...
A. 7 March 2007: If he's making you upset, stressed and unhappy, then you HAVE to tell him this, and if he doesn't recognise that, then he is out of line.
If he simply doesn't care about how he's making you feel then you shouldn't be with such a man. Sorry, t... (read in full...)
He is 20 years older and ever time I want to tell my parents he backs out!!
Q. I am a 17 year old girl and have being in a relationship for about 7 months the only problem is he is 20 years older than me and he is also my line manager. We havn't told my parents about us yet and i want to as i am sick of walking and sneaking ...
A. 7 March 2007: I understand that the situation is tricky and awkward for both of you, but you really should put your foot down. You MUST tell your parents. The fact that you have been together as long as you have shows that it's serious, and the fact that you want ... (read in full...)
My friend has seen my bf going into a male strip club!!
Q. A friend told me she'd seen my boyfriend go to a male strip club 4 times over the last fortnight. I asked her if she was lying, but she said she was working a late-night shift (she's an airport taxi driver) and had seen him. She said she couldn't...
A. 7 March 2007: First of all, you can't stop him doing anything that he wants to do. To some degree, he is right that it's "none of your business"...
Except for the fact that it is TOTALLY your business. If you have a problem with him being in strip clubs, t... (read in full...)
Shes always accusing me and saying Im lying, I want to safe this marriage, but how ?
Q. My wife and I met about two years ago. After a few months, something told me "she's the one," and so I asked her to marry me. I am in the military, and I volunteered to be deployed a week after we were engaged. We got married and I deployed. The ...
A. 7 March 2007: The honest answer to this is that you can't make someone trust you. Whether or not you've been faithful, it's something you can't force, no matter how hard you try to show her.
It's absolutely heartwrenching to go through a situation where yo... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fancy somebody else's wife?
Q. Is it wrong to fancy someone else's wife? ...
A. 7 March 2007: I agree with the other answers. So long as you don't take any action on these feelings then it's fine.
You should actively try to put your feelings elsewhere, before you feel like you want to take any actions though.
Best wishes.... (read in full...)
He sneered about some girl being a virgin, thing is I'm a virgin too. Now I don't know how to handle this...
Q. Hi, I'll try to keep this short. A few months ago I met a guy. Things seemed to be going well between us but all of a sudden they just seemed to stop (his decision not mine) Thing is he seems to have had second thoughts now and wants to see me in a ...
A. 6 March 2007: I agree with everything AskEve & Irish49 have said.
Don't sleep with him! He just sounds arrogant and self-important... Completely not the sort of person that you'd want to sleep with; let alone lose your virginity to.
If I were you, I'd sa... (read in full...)
Could a couple of 'slips' make my gf pregnant??
Q. okay, I've been freaking out for the past 2 days now. Me and my girlfriend spent the weekend togather on holiday and we were fooling around when we went to bed and then she went on top of me and and we started to have sex but it was literall...
A. 6 March 2007: maxsteel86, I think your information is also incorrect...
The figure is actually 2-3% failure rate, and it says this on EVERY BOX of condoms (check it out).
BUT... This is ONLY when the condoms are used exactly in the way that the instructions... (read in full...)
What does it feel like when you cum?
Q. When i fool about with my boyfriend i get close to cuming but i never can, i have just started this kind of stuff is it suppose to be like this, i havent had sex with him yet, although im not a virgin. What is it supose to feel like just in general ...
A. 5 March 2007: There's no one way to make it happen, and there's no one way to describe it. Different women feel it differently.
I think the easiest way to describe it would be to say that you feel a big build up of tension in your body as you get closer t... (read in full...)
I really like this guy who I was introduced to a couple of weeks ago, what should I do about it?
Q. I really like this guy but we were just formally introduced a couple weeks ago. And we all know how the guy's mind works. He forgot who I was. But I've liked him for the longest. What should I do?...
A. 5 March 2007: I agree with Kenny... Try to arrange another meeting between the two of you (With other friends if you're too shy or get embarassed), and just get to know him better. Then you can decide whether you want to date him or be with him.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Are my friends right?
Q. me and my bf are planning to have sex in 2 weeks as he staying at mine. he a virgin and im far from being one (9 guys) he saying that even though ive been with that many guys in his eyes im still a virgin as i never loved those guys but i love him. ...
A. 5 March 2007: The only person that can tell you what he really meant is your boyfriend. If it really bothers you, then you should ask him.
Otherwise, I think that you should just take his word for it. If he is happy losing his virginity to you, then there's ... (read in full...)
Could a couple of 'slips' make my gf pregnant??
Q. okay, I've been freaking out for the past 2 days now. Me and my girlfriend spent the weekend togather on holiday and we were fooling around when we went to bed and then she went on top of me and and we started to have sex but it was literall...
A. 5 March 2007: First of all... I'd be interested to know how you can "slip" into a girl whilst she's on top of you? =p
There are some pretty good pregnancy tests out there these days that can tell you whether your girlfriend pregnant even at this stage, I sugges... (read in full...)
When I get erect, sticky water comes from my penis, is this sperm?
Q. dear cupid i am 17 years old and my girlfriend is 18 years old, she want me to have sex with her but when i erect, some sticky water or what come out is that sperm? i didnt dare to buy condom so how can i sex with her? HELP...
A. 5 March 2007: I agree with the other comment.
If you're not mature enough to buy condoms, then you're probably not mature enough to be that intimate with someone else. The fact that you're asking about the things that your body does is good, but the fact tha... (read in full...)
I had my period, but could I still be pregnant ?
Q. welll i was really tensed because i dint have my menstrual cycle since 2 months after having intercorse..as to whether incase i was pregnant.... howevr my periods have started and i just want to clarify that i can stop worrying about whethr or not i...
A. 5 March 2007: Get a pregnancy test or see your doctor... That's the only way you can be truly informed whether you're pregnant or not.
Your stress is likely to further disrupt your periods, so just try to relax about it and find out for sure.
Good luck & b... (read in full...)
Is my mum right?
Q. My mum says if you have sex just after you finished your period you cant get pregnant as its already released the egg, im not sure this is true, does any one know if this is true...
A. 5 March 2007: There is no time of the month when you are not fertile. That is YOU CAN GET PREGNANT AT ANY TIME WITHOUT PROTECTION.
That being said, there are certain times of the month when you are more likely to get pregnant; eg when you're ovulatin... (read in full...)
I'm going on holiday next week and will have my period! How can I still go swimming while on my period?
Q. heya well im 13 and im going on holiday next week but ive realised that i will be on my period that week and im worried that its going to ruin the holiday!! As i love going swimming in the pools and on the beaches but does anyone no how i can stil...
A. 5 March 2007: You can only swim if you're using tampons (I don't think I need to explain what would happen if you were wearing a sanitary towel).
There is a prescription drug (not the contraceptive pill) that you can get from a GP that delays your period h... (read in full...)
I lost twins recently and my husband doesn't seem to care, what should I do?
Q. i lost twins recently and my husband dont seem to care what should i do?...
A. 5 March 2007: Your husband might just have a different way of dealing with it than you do. Some people prefer to mourn the loss comprehensively and get depressed, whereas some others adopt the attitude of "getting on with things" to preoccupy themselves. There ... (read in full...)
I'm getting married but have met up with the ex again..I think I'm still in love with him! What should I do?.
Q. hi, i really need help. i'm supposed to getting married in the summer of 2008 and i meet up with an ex boyfriend of mine and now i'm confused because i have falling in love with this guy again. meaning i am in love with two guys and don't know w...
A. 4 March 2007: I'm kinda in the same situation.
My best advice would be to just stay with your fiancé, and steer clear of your ex. There's a reason why you broke up right? And now you're with this guy that you want to marry.
I know it's hard, and that you lov... (read in full...)
He views it as insecure and jealous, I view it as sneaky and dishonest! What do you think?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 mos. Early in the relationship I told him some trust issues I had and what effected my trust in a relationship. One was "baggage" brought into the new relationship. Issues with old lovers/gf's that ...
A. 4 March 2007: How would you have felt if he'd told you straight out? I'm quite certain that you'd have been every bit as jealous, insecure and upset.
You need to talk this out between you... If you don't feel you can trust him, then you shouldn't be with him... (read in full...)
Why is no one interested in taking it beyond 'casual sex' with me?
Q. Hi, I'm 38 and I haven't had a boyfriend since 2000. I take care of myself -- I'm well-educated, slim, sociable, good job etc -- but no one is interested in taking it beyond the casual sex stage. At one point, I went two years without even the...
A. 4 March 2007: My personal opinion is that you shouldn't have sex with someone that you don't already feel that bond with.
Maybe men feel the same way... Therefore when you sleep with them they don't see it as anything more than casual sex, some men might ev... (read in full...)
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